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Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
Kobolds are tiny dragonlings, gnomes are dipshits who talk to gophers. gently caress gnomes.

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Princess
Oct 11, 2009

That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over!
If gnomes are playable characters, then fremlins should be also.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Princess posted:

If gnomes are playable characters, then fremlins should be also.

Is that like a female gremlin?

Princess
Oct 11, 2009

That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over!

Applewhite posted:

Is that like a female gremlin?

A "friendly gremlin".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fremlin_(Dungeons_%26_Dragons)

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

how does the thread feel about svirfneblins

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Princess posted:

A "friendly gremlin".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fremlin_(Dungeons_%26_Dragons)

Ah k.

TBH as far as I know, Gremlins aren't even a monster race in 5E (not mentioned in Monster Manual, can't speak for Volo's Guide). So the chances of getting one as a player race are pretty slim.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

free hubcaps posted:

how does the thread feel about svirfneblins

Ghezuntheight

Alien Sex Manual
Dec 14, 2010

is not a sandwich

Ok well gnomes are twee little assholes and kobolds are tiny dragon-people. They are in no way dog or rat people.

In the coming race wars I will be supporting kobolds, of course. With or without big honkin lizard titties, they have my support.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Labes for days posted:

Ok well gnomes are twee little assholes and kobolds are tiny dragon-people. They are in no way dog or rat people.

In the coming race wars I will be supporting kobolds, of course. With or without big honkin lizard titties, they have my support.

Big honkin' lizard titties are for Dragonborns. Kobolds are just rad as hell.

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
Also throwing my lot in with the kobolds. I like anything with the capacity to scamper.

The Dregs
Dec 29, 2005

MY TREEEEEEEE!

Who What Now posted:

Kobolds are tiny dragonlings, gnomes are dipshits who talk to gophers. gently caress gnomes.

Didn't kobolds use to be little dog-goblins before they got turned into little dragon-goblins

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

The Dregs posted:

Didn't kobolds use to be little dog-goblins before they got turned into little dragon-goblins

Get with the times, old man

hevnz 2 murgatroyd
Apr 13, 2018

by Smythe
I always play Human because if I play another race I can't decide if it's racist to do the accent or racist not to do the accent.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
op it sounds as if you have been 'gnomed'

The Dregs
Dec 29, 2005

MY TREEEEEEEE!

Who What Now posted:

Get with the times, old man

Does believing that 4e is the one true edition make me old? I mean in addition to being old.

Alien Sex Manual
Dec 14, 2010

is not a sandwich

Applewhite posted:

Big honkin' lizard titties are for Dragonborns. Kobolds are just rad as hell.

I’m glad we agree wrt kobold titties. :patriot:

Also kobolds as dragonesque midgets makes sense so you can put the bigass dragon they worship at the end of a long, painful kobold dungeon and make your players hate you. It’s win/win really.


Grevling posted:

Is this thread pro or anti Deekin?

If anyone in here is anti Deekin I will fight them and any gnomes they bring for backup irl.

The Dregs
Dec 29, 2005

MY TREEEEEEEE!

Applewhite posted:

I never get to play big tiddy characters. I have the mark of the DM on me and can never escape.

I've been doing to play my Gnome warlock/Bard who sold his soul to the devil for mad ukulele skills for years. But I'm the only person in the group who can DM.

I feel your pain.

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

grindylows have big ol tats because they use them for buoyancy control or so ive heard

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
I play a dryder with big combat boots on, and she goes around kicking things with lots of legs and boots :mad:

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

you look up at the spires of the city of brass reaching for what passes for a sky on the plane of fire, their tops lost to vision in the whirling heat haze that pervades the boiling metropolis. As you walk down the bustling main boulevard, a salamander with seriously huge knockers approaches. “Hail, travelers from the material plane, carest though to fondle my tiddies?” she says coquettishly.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

hevnz 2 murgatroyd posted:

I always play Human because if I play another race I can't decide if it's racist to do the accent or racist not to do the accent.

What accents do you think non-existent fictional races have? And why do you assume all humans talk exactly like you? Seems... Pretty racist. :smug:

The Dregs
Dec 29, 2005

MY TREEEEEEEE!

Who What Now posted:

What accents do you think non-existent fictional races have? And why do you assume all humans talk exactly like you? Seems... Pretty racist. :smug:

Dwarves talk like Scots or sometimes Vikings. Elves talk like fancy Brits and Halflings talk like unfancy Brits. Trolls talk like Jamaicans I think

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
WoW is very racist, yes.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
Kobobls = Yipping Demons

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

free hubcaps posted:

you look up at the spires of the city of brass reaching for what passes for a sky on the plane of fire, their tops lost to vision in the whirling heat haze that pervades the boiling metropolis. As you walk down the bustling main boulevard, a salamander with seriously huge knockers approaches. “Hail, travelers from the material plane, carest though to fondle my tiddies?” she says coquettishly.

Yea ok Greg obvious trap to burn my arm off, I just tell her she got some great tits but I'm here on business

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
What are doing in the City of Brass without at least Fire Resistance 30?

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Who What Now posted:

What are doing in the City of Brass without at least Fire Resistance 30?

Oh you're supposed to loadout to *resist* fire???


*Sheepishly looks at spell book full of Fireballs*

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

a group of onlookers is gathering around your party and the well endowed salamander. *rolls perception* Among others of her kind and build, you see several azer slaves with giant funbags among the crowd, as well as a number of efreeti ladies with humongous gazongas and at least one fire giant with boobs the size of a small house. They all look at you expectantly.

what are you guys gonna do?

star war beta max
Sep 26, 2018

by FactsAreUseless
Gnomes belong in the dust ben of history if you ask me OP...........................................................................................

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

free hubcaps posted:

a group of onlookers is gathering around your party and the well endowed salamander. *rolls perception* Among others of her kind and build, you see several azer slaves with giant funbags among the crowd, as well as a number of efreeti ladies with humongous gazongas and at least one fire giant with boobs the size of a small house. They all look at you expectantly.

what are you guys gonna do?

Heightened conjure water, for a wet chainmail contest. The resulting steam explosion will hopefully wipe out everyone.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
Like I said, business first, ask her if she wants the number to my scrying orb

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

SniperWoreConverse posted:

Yea ok Greg obvious trap to burn my arm off, I just tell her she got some great tits but I'm here on business

the salamander’s face tightens into a firmer smile. “touch my hot tits weary traveller” she says in a more insistent tone. The crowd presses in tighter, *checks magic knowledge* their faces all displaying the same unnatural grin as the salamander, and their heaving chests all bearing rocking cleavage, as if under a strange spell.

Colonel Cancer posted:

Heightened conjure water, for a wet chainmail contest. The resulting steam explosion will hopefully wipe out everyone.

you have a single chainmail hauberk to spare, which you hand to the salamander as you ask her to put it on. it melts as soon as she touches it. *rolls perception* her sweater puppies seem to get almost imperceptibly bigger.

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
poo poo, dispel! Also, back away mewing if needed

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
I use my 7th level spell slot to cast Reduce Juggs, Mass

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
i cast Mordenkainen's Wizened Knob

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Oct 12, 2009

Who What Now posted:

I use my 7th level spell slot to cast Reduce Juggs, Mass



SniperWoreConverse posted:

poo poo, dispel! Also, back away mewing if needed



oh no! as soon as the last word of who what now’s mass jug reduction spell leaves his lips and a large nipple shaped rune forms in the air, sniper rolls a 1 on his attempt to dispel the salamanders cursed tats, instead cancellling his friends high level spell! The group of fiery races with ensorcelled honkers closes in tighter, their grins now rictuses

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva
Bullshit! "Back away mewing" gives mystical defense!

Beard of Nero! The fiddling will distract them

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
I want to cast Magic Missile at the darkness honkers!

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

free hubcaps posted:

oh no! as soon as the last word of who what now’s mass jug reduction spell leaves his lips and a large nipple shaped rune forms in the air, sniper rolls a 1 on his attempt to dispel the salamanders cursed tats, instead cancellling his friends high level spell! The group of fiery races with ensorcelled honkers closes in tighter, their grins now rictuses

I take the disengage action and flee toward the open alley between the two giant dome-shaped buildings

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free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

Chomp8645 posted:

I want to cast Magic Missile at the darkness honkers!

you try to cast magic missile at the salamanders righteous boobs...but you are a barbarian. suffice to say it doesn’t work. the salamander with the big ones looks even more crazed.

SniperWoreConverse posted:

Beard of Nero! The fiddling will distract them

you start stroking your neckbeard in what you hope is a thoughtful fashion. it doesn’t stop the crush of literally hot titties beginning to close in on you. a particularly close fire mephit with what looks like breasts made of fire singes the hair on your left arm off with its blazing rack. you take 2 fire damage.

Applewhite posted:

I take the disengage action and flee toward the open alley between the two giant dome-shaped buildings

you disengage but trigger an attack of opportunity from an azer slave close by. Your forced motorboating of her bazongas causes serious burns to your face. you take 5 damage and lose 2 CHA until the wounds heal.


Mozi posted:

i cast Mordenkainen's Wizened Knob

also you all have raging boners now

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