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  Thread for posting horrific internet poo poo of the written variety. Doesn't have to be from fanfiction.net. Doesn't have to be strictly fanfiction either, think Deviantart but in text form. "captain falcon pounds wario's fart box by juicydickhugger posted:"where's wario?" Tom and Jerry meet Samus Metroid's vagina: (deleted fic from ComicsNix)   Widowmaker Overwatch murders a small boy with her giant farting rear end: quote:Danny decided to head back into the world of Overwatch as he had a chance to meet some of the other members of Overwatch (mostly the girls there) and have a little fun there but lurking in the shadows was a woman who had the sense of a hawk and the eyes of the spider the sniper specialist simply known as Widowmaker... 
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Mar 20, 2019 02:14
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tobuscus life of confusingchapter 1 posted:so here's my nextstory it's just a idea but i hope it's real good..
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Mar 20, 2019 02:31
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These all look like joke fanfics, OP. Did you write these yourself?
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Mar 20, 2019 02:44
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'Uh, huh.' Wheeler followed suit and set his Fire Ring, what he considered the most destructive and dangerous, of all Rings on the bureau as well. 'Ok, Gi. What is really on your mind?' 'Not my mind! My heart! I consider Linka my friend, but I can't stand to see you chasing her when she could care less. What's wrong with me? Aren't I pretty enough? What is the line in that song? Come on baby, light my fire! We have plenty of privacy!' With that, she threw her arms around him and jumped up wrapping her legs around his waist. Fortunately, he was strong enough to hold her. He was surprised she was doing this. 'What are you waiting for?' With that question, she planted a kiss on his lips, that was almost as hot as his Ring in terms of passion.
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Mar 20, 2019 02:50
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my name is MinMin and i have a story to tell a few years ago my and my friends were out and about but plans subbenly took a sharp turn when when we broke down in the middle of no where they all turned and looked at me over the stares stopped they told me to get out the car i shakingly told them no in fear of them leaving me here on my own soon lola pulled me out the front seat and pushed me to the ground and the held me down as she raped me it was humiliating soon it was over and i was thankfully for it but their was a problem i couldn't walk on my own they threw my in the back and drove off soon we made it back into town and they bought me home my had asked me what had happened i just told her it was a fight lola pop patted my back once we were past my mother and said good save on the other pulls me into her arms and said it was her turn she dashed up to my room and locked the door quickly pushed me in the tub and started to do the same as lola did to me it hurt even worst than last time but i was to waek to scream so i let do what she wanted
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Mar 20, 2019 02:52
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i write Operation Flashpoint/Arma fanfiction. Its like Tom Clancy-ish with more conventional warfare
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Mar 20, 2019 02:53
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dear fanfiction I keep getting bully by people and keep getting my feelings hurt a lot over a year now, I talk to you to help me but you didn't do anything to help,but I have some friends who help me with my problem s and now I see the world is still scary and full of all kinds of sick pervs to dangerous killer's to bullys and monophonic people that want you to be dead for no reason at all. The reason why I keep changing my name and pic is because some of you keep using my name to make story's where I hate gay people and I'm a bad speller but I don't hate gay people at all because I'm bisexaul and autistic but still some people must have gone throw the same thing I'm going throw right now,I'm going to keep doing what I like and I mite get to go to college soon enough,if I'm lucky to pass a test first. I'm not very good at explaining things in detail but no matter what happens you have a voice and don't be afraid to tell down I you feel about it,I try and my friends make me feel better for helping me and I wish I can help all of you guy's but I can't since I don't know how to help on the internet full of sick pervs on Instagram that force me to show my privet parts witch I didn't do because I wasn't going to do that so I decided to delete themself from Instagram for good. And at times I don't sleep well at night because I feel very worthless and upset with my job that I don't like and I'm trying very hard to go to college soon and I'm sorry for saying I'm ending my life I didn't really mean to say that and I'm soooooo sorry and I hope and pray to God that all my friends will be safe and have a great future because I care for everyone that I do or don't know and I want to help,then there this problem I have for saying sorry a lot and that make a lot of people very made at me. I have a problem I watch porn a lot at night about teenage Asian girls and boys to get ride of all the stress I'm having with all the bullying and work lately and I'm sorry and the bullying will not stop I keep getting for a year now I bloke them but they keep keeps coming back to hurt my feelings what if I really do get hurt and die will you trolls be happy with that well I guess not you **************sorry sorry saying that and I will stop deleting my story's and stop changing my name and pic so much I have to be 100 percent honest with all of you. And I'm afraid to tell my family that I'm bisexual because they mite kick me out from my house,they don't mind gay people but I'm not sure if they accept bisexuals. And I'm making a story where it's a au where Lincoln fells in love with with his own clone that Lisa made because she wants someone to be willing to do experiments with but Lincoln sister's have to make sure there monophonic parents don't find out or they will send the clone to military school full of girls. And do you all remembered my story called Lincoln is bisexual. I got a lot of hate comments in my inbox saying words that I never heard before all because it's a au story where Lincoln is bisexual and what's wrong with being autistic and being yourself can we live being ourselves with out anyone people forcing us to change and this goes to everyone out there on fanfic. Stay safe and may God protect you
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Mar 20, 2019 02:53
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One day, Pepe the Frog was making America great again with his patriotic coal mine. Then some dumb kids came along and summoned an evil demon from the depths of hell. "Hello," said the demonic anti-American SJW known as Captain Planet. "This coal mine must go because coal contributes to global warming. Global warming is a big problem. Why, this very place was covered in snow back in Decemeber, but the snow is all gone just seven months later!" "They're called seasons, you dumb hippie!" laughed Pepe. "And without this coal mine, what will these ordinary hard-working Americans do for a living?" "They will do nothing!" said Captain Planet. "That's what welfare is for!" "You little commie gently caress!" yelled Pepe. "You don't even care about the environment! You just want to destroy capitalism!" "Now you know the real plan!" Captain Planet cackled as he took out his hammer and sickle. "You cannot defeat the right side of history!" "Don't be so smug, Captain Planet!" said Pepe. "I possess a force greater than communism. It's called the second amendment!" With that, Pepe pointed his assault rifle at Captain Planet. Being anti-gun, Captain Planet had no choice but to drop his hammer and sickle in surrender. Pepe graciously spared Captain Planet's life and deported him to Mexico, where he was never able to return from due to the Great Wall of Trump.
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Mar 20, 2019 02:55
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Thomas The Fucktrain
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Mar 20, 2019 02:56
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Goku + the diary of Anne Frank Some highlights: - Goku time travels to nazi Germany - Goku and Anne have a romance - Hitler goes super saiyan https://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/12/fan_ficition_friday_goku_and_anne_frank_in_until_t.php
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Mar 20, 2019 02:56
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The new year 1830, I'm Luna Rubies and I have two siblings My oldest sister Lydia and older brother Slim after my parents died in an accident when I was ten. I grow up to be a beautiful young lady now I'm 16 years old now to be responsible I but never had many friends because other girls don't like me because of all boys I had a few friends they are some boys named Liam and Jack, James the there brothers also there my sister's sons Henry and Olive they also my friends and last best friend Spooky his my dog. It was a while when my brother got married to Meldoy she going to have a kid but during the birth, she dies and for my brother and his daughter Alice. When she becomes 4 he sends her to bored school because she looks likes her mother and my brother got murder by the age 29 when the funeral come by the day his death he was buried next to his wife. I don't know what's going to happen in life? When my life turn upside down when my sister and her kids I don't know what to do and the next day my brother in law Nevile told that his brother wanted me to go live with him for now on. What why do I have to go live a man I barely know LUNA you're being disrespectful to me FINE I will go live now so don't hear your voice again. I started to pack my things putting them in the suitcase I'm glad because I'm I don"t had to live here anymore. When I enter the house and went my that was given to me and started unpacking my things and put my nightgown on and then I went to bed. That night I heard a noise it sound like footsteps and then I started getting scared when I got out of bed went close to the door he was standing there right in front of my door he comes really close to me. DON'T YOU DARE COME CLOSE TO ME! He yelled at me to be quit IF YOU DON'T BE SHUT IT I DO MORE TO YOU
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Mar 20, 2019 02:59
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Ultimate Virginity: An Alolan Taste of my own Medicine - aka pounded in the butt by Pokemon quote:
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Mar 20, 2019 03:16
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Agony in pink
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Mar 20, 2019 03:17
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Shrek and Donkey By: freezecheeks Shrek and Donkey explore the world of sexuality Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Shrek, Donkey - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,243 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: Feb 22, 2015 - Published: Dec 29, 2014 - id: 10927671 quote:It was just a normal day for Shrek, he was out on his daily sit when donkey approached him. "Shrek!" donkey called out in a seductive voice. "Come here!" . "NO" Shrek responded in a loud ogrely voice, "I'm too fat and lazy" . "I'll just go there then" donkey sighed. As donkey approached, he noticed Shrek's new haircut, it was blond. "WOW, Shrek your new hair is so… just so…beautiful" Donkey said, trying to hold back his massive donkey boner. "Thanks" Shrek responded. Shrek blushed showing pink spots on his green ogre face. There was an awkward pause for a few seconds until Shrek made a move. Shrek and Donkey part two By: freezecheeks shrek shrek shrek, get shrekt m8 Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Humor - Words: 467 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: Jan 1, 2015 - id: 10937712 quote:Casper swung his axe. Part of Shrek's left testicle was sliced off spewing out semen and blood. Shrek screamed out in agony. Donkey couldn't take it anymore, he charged at Casper head first, but obviously Casper is a Ghost so he ran right through him burying his head in Shrek's genitals. "Hahaha donkey, you really are stupid, would you mind if I chained you up with Shrek?" Casper said to donkey. "please don't, I'll make it up to you with a little something" donkey said desperately. "Oh trust me, you will" Casper responded. Casper chained up donkey beside Shrek. He then turned out of ghost mode so he could touch the two. He pulled out his massive pale cock as he turned the two around in order to enter their anuses. "Who first?" Casper asked as he decided which one of the two he would enter first. "You first" said Donkey Kong as he busted through the door that lead into the cave. "U fuckin wot m8" Casper said as the giant ape rushed towards him. Donkey Kong picked up Casper and punted him across the room, tearing his body in half. The large king walked over to his two children and untied him.
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Mar 20, 2019 03:34
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Putty posted:Ultimate Virginity: An Alolan Taste of my own Medicine - aka pounded in the butt by Pokemon Flip a coin every Word to See if it's Capitalized.
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Mar 20, 2019 03:41
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oldie, red text isnt me
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Mar 20, 2019 04:05
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Putty posted:
please stop making fun of my attempts to play falcon online
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Mar 20, 2019 04:24
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This is a pretty good thread 
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Mar 20, 2019 04:31
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(Unofficial) Thread Challenge: find a franchise/IP/other story or universe that does not have at least one harry potter crossover https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6195432/1/Hank-Hill-and-the-Sorcerer-s-Stone chapter two posted:"BWAH! After a few seconds he regained his composure. "What in God's name have you done?" Hank was furious with this strange man. A primer:
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Mar 20, 2019 04:37
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Dangit, dobby.
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Mar 20, 2019 04:40
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what in tarnation
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Mar 20, 2019 04:43
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Alternatively, find one that is genuinely difficult to read for whatever reason. Like this one, perhaps."https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13228344/1/Link-Meet-Hello-Neighbor posted:Link Meets Hello Neighbor: The Official Fanfiction Chapter 1: Link's New Neighbor
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Mar 20, 2019 04:52
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a Accountant and his friend's Adventures in the VR world of the OASIS
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Mar 20, 2019 04:56
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WW2 History and Gun Enthusiast Favorite Medium Tank M4A3 Sherman Favorite Handgun Colt 1911 Favorite Light Tank M5 Stuart Light Tank i have maladaptive daydreaming you may ask what is that? Maladaptive daydreaming is a psychiatric condition. It was identified by Professor Eliezer Somer of the University of Haifa in Israel. This condition causes intense daydreaming that distracts a person from their real life. Many times, real-life events trigger day dreams. These events can include: topics of conversation sensory stimuli such as noises or smells physical experiences What are the symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming you may ask ? A person who is purported to have maladaptive daydreaming may have one or more symptoms of the disorder, but not necessarily all of them. Common symptoms include: extremely vivid daydreams with their own characters, settings, plots, and other detailed, story-like features daydreams triggered by real-life events difficulty completing everyday tasks difficulty sleeping at night an overwhelming desire to continue daydreaming performing repetitive movements while daydreaming making facial expressions while daydreaming whispering and talking while daydreaming daydreaming for lengthy periods (many minutes to hours) I have Musical ear syndrome (MES) describes a condition seen in people who have hearing loss and subsequently develop "MES" has also been associated with musical hallucinations , which is a complex form of auditory hallucinations where an individual may experience music or sounds that are heard without an external source I had a dream in my sleep about where Quiet from Metal Gear Solid V The Phantom Pain looked at me and smiled at me then the dream ended I have not a dream in my sleep about Quiet from Metal Gear Solid V The Phantom Pain since that dream in my sleep happened
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Mar 20, 2019 04:56
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a Accountant hunt for a easter egg inside the OASIS, a ready player one fanfic 5-6 minutes a Accountant hunt for a easter egg inside the OASIS By: iloveTanks after the death of James Donovan Halliday he leaves behind in his will a major prize to whosoever finds a unique, hidden easter egg in his VR realm, the OASIS. The terms of the will would give the finder his half-trillion-dollar fortune, along with administrative control over the OASIS itself self insert Rated: Fiction M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Parzival, Art3mis, Aech, i-R0k - Words: 759 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: Aug 28, 2018 - id: 13048895 this Story was Inspired by The Following Authors and Story's Connections: An OASIS Story By: umikazesora99 Cheers Love by victor157 The Huntress and the Deputy by bren97122 My Name is Matthew let me explain my Back story to you leading up to now I Have Long Term Memory where I recall or Remember information over a long period of time such as days, weeks, or years I was sexually abused one time by a Male Relative when I was younger I started dropping out of middle school then I got transferred to a Private School that my School District was Paying for then The School District of the City I was Living in started acting like a Nazi School District Towards me in my opinion/ viewpoint on how they treated me cause they Told me in a School Individualized Education Program or iep meeting I was going to not get my High school diploma in 2015 they delayed me getting my High school diploma in 2016 to 2017 and sent me to a disabled school I was told by my family and or physician or Doctor I have ADHD or Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder but I think that's Complete Garbage viewpoint on my Mental Health like this one Canadian Lady that I used to talk to in a online zoom room started making Harsh Brutal statements on my Physical Health and Mental in her word's she told me I was Abusive Boy both physical abusive and Verbally Towards Women and how I should be not walking /running around Public/ Society but be in a Insane Asylum Lunatic asylum or Mental Hospital and I was going get a General Equivalency Diploma in 2017 after taking the General Equivalency Diploma test but that never Happened cause the School District told me I was going get my High school diploma from a Public High School in my City I lived in in 2017 after getting my High school diploma from a Public High School in my City I tried joining the us Army but was Permantly disqualified due to my past Behavior and Police report's I was walking from work in 2018 when I was Kidnapped by the Far Cry 5 Video Game Cult Called Eden's Gate from Hope County in the state of Montana, United States I get rescued by Dutch then afterwards stopped Eden's Gate then got a Full Time Job as a cook at Texas Roadhouse in Fall's End While going to WGU online to Get a Master of Science in Accounting I did get a scholarship to help pay for my Western Governors University Master of Science in Accounting i have maladaptive daydreaming you may ask what is that? Maladaptive daydreaming is a psychiatric condition. It was identified by Professor Eliezer Somer of the University of Haifa in Israel. This condition causes intense daydreaming that distracts a person from their real life. Many times, real-life events trigger day dreams. These events can include: topics of conversation sensory stimuli such as noises or smells physical experiences What are the symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming you may ask ? A person who is purported to have maladaptive daydreaming may have one or more symptoms of the disorder, but not necessarily all of them. Common symptoms include: extremely vivid daydreams with their own characters, settings, plots, and other detailed, story-like features daydreams triggered by real-life events difficulty completing everyday tasks difficulty sleeping at night an overwhelming desire to continue daydreaming performing repetitive movements while daydreaming making facial expressions while daydreaming whispering and talking while daydreaming daydreaming for lengthy periods (many minutes to hours) My Dad or his Dad my Grandfather Bought me a Xbox360 when the Xbox360 came out I think I have played the first Call of Duty on pc one of the first video games I played during my childhood then Call of Duty 2 on the pc then on Xbox 360 I played the Halo series on the Original Xbox and Xbox360 I did play the Call of Duty ww2 campaign I thought it was a interesting campaign story I have seen The Simpsons Movie when it came out in a movie theater I have listened to Green Day's American Idiot Album and 21st Century Breakdown Album's I have not seen the entire first Avatar Movie by James Cameron I have seen the Fury 2014 Movie in a movie theater when that movie came out I Have seen the Hacksaw Ridge Movie when that movie came out in movie theater's I read the Unhinged book by Omarosa Manigault Newman
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Mar 20, 2019 04:58
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it was less than two weeks after my Wife's death Monika Weiss and the death of the woman named Laura who killied my wife I had purchased a house in Waukesha it was a 5 bedroom house with two car garage with fenced back yard I decided to go to a antique store in Waukesha at nightime I was off of work for two week vacation it was summer season I did purchase a gold oil Antique Lamp at the antique store and came home with the gold oil Antique Lamp I had the gold oil Antique Lamp on Brown Leather Sofa on the sofa seat right next to me past my right shoulder in the plastic bag in the living room there was a coffee table in the middle of the living room there was a 4k LG tv on a tv stand for me to watch tv or movies I have watched 1992 Disney film Aladdin during my childhood in my elementary school in my home city I grew up in I was thinking to myself "Genies can't be real , can they.?" I asked myself I grabbed the gold oil Antique Lamp out of the plastic bag it was in and rubbed it with my left hand palm for a few seconds on the side of the lamp for a few minutes nothing happens "I thought that was going to work then the lamp started shaking in my left hand purple smoke came of the lamp and forms into a Caucasian beautiful sexy lady in red clothing with elf like ears blue eyes with purple hair with her back facing me as I sat up from the couch with the lamp in my left hand the woman started to stretch out her muscles on account of being in the lamp for so long she then takes a monument to scan her surroundings and notices me holding her lamp "Oh! Hello are you the one who summed me from my slumber?." she asked " I did my name is Matthew by the way do you have a name Miss" ? I asked her "but of course ! for I am Shantae your very own personal wish full filling, Genie of the lamp, from this day forward I will grant you every wish you could ask for." Shantae says to me as she bows to me "is there a limit to how many wishes you can give me like three wishes then you go back into your lamp.?" asked Matthew "oh that works on only male Genies based on their own rules as for female Genies like me , they can grant unlimited wishes for their master there are no Consequences,whatsoever. " said Shantae she was looking around the living room she saw on the coffee table a printed photo a young Woman with big breast's c cup size holding a sniper rife with her right hand over her right shoulder behind her back Amber eyes black boot's blue jeans with brunette hair wearing a black bra wearing a green digital watch on her left wrist with smoke like fog all around her looking forward at the person who is looking at the photo viewer Shantae picks up the printed photo to look at it "whos this Matthew" . ? said Shantae "oh that's a piece of artwork of the video game Iron Sight Character Kalli I printed out by seungmin Kim "I daydream of her at night laying in bed with her I would not be lonely in this house since the death of my wife Monika Weiss ." said Matthew "well if you want I could bring this girl into reality if you wish for a Girlfriend." Shantae said this with a smirk "can you do that."? Matthew asked Shantae "of course I can all you have to do is say the magic words and I will bring your dream Girlfriend to life how's that sound Matthew ? ." asked Shantae " I need to get my black dell laptop from my room." said I be back in less a min." said Matthew I turned on tv in the living room for Shantae to watch weather news while I get my black dell laptop from my room in my room was a purple queen size mattress and a gaming pc on computer desk over 2,000 plus us dollars sent from a American gaming pc builder company and my black dell laptop was on the computer desk I grabbed the laptop and went back to the living room I sat on the middle brown sofa seat and turned on the laptop and started typing on the laptop Shantae was curious at what I was looking at on the laptop she sat on brown sofa seat on my right shoulder right next to me " what are you looking up on the internet, Matthew?." asked Shantae I replied " could she wear this jacket".? asked Matthew I gave Shantae the laptop to show her the jacket it was a Levi's Faux Leather Midweight Bomber Jacket dark brown color " sure she can Matthew." said Shantae "what about this pant's?." I typed in the pant's levi's 711 Skinny Jeans in blue color then showed Shantae the pant's "sure she can have those pant's." said Shantae "could she not have any military equipment on her body like in the printed photo of her .?" asked Matthew " sure Matthew." said Shantae "Master Matthew are you ready to bring your dream Girlfriend to life.?" asked Shantae " well then Shantae, I wish for you to bring this lady to life Naming her Kalli Tanya Pavelovna she will have pant's levi's 711 Skinny Jeans in blue color Levi's Faux Leather Midweight Bomber Jacket dark brown color black tactical gloves green digital watch on her left wrist Grey Beanie hat Black Tank Top black boot's with brunette hair amber eyes height 5 feet 6 inches and glock 17 in a concealed carry holster on her left hip area she has a Russian ascent ." said Matthew "your wish is my command , Master Matthew." said Shantae happy with a snap of her fingers a huge puff of fog smoke came from the printed photo and landed on the floor softly forming the body of the girl in the photo with requested clothing and other requested features once the fog smoke clears up she see me on the brown sofa in the middle sofa "Hello, Matthew."said Kalli "wow,it's really you." said Matthew "yes it is I always wanted to meet you and be with you." said Kalli "Me too, Kalli are you going to put your beanie hat and jacket on the coat rack behind your right shoulder? ." said Matthew Kalli turned around and walked to the coat rack and put her grey beanie hat on the coat rack then she put her gloves on the wooden table near the coat rack she put her black boot's near the coat rack she unzipped her Levi's Faux Leather Midweight Bomber Jacket dark brown color and put it on the coat rack she had a Black Tank Top she turned around to face me and saw me in the thousand yard stare state "what is wrong ,Matthew.?" asked Kalli in worried voice what is on your wrist's and shoulders?" asked Matthew "what these".? said Kalli as she pointed at her wrist's and shoulders Tribal Black tattoo's "this are my Tribal Black tattoo's Design's I drew myself each Tribal Black tattoo's Design is unique and different ." said Kalli in the game iron sight Kalli has the same Tattoo symbol on both her shoulders and left wrist and maybe right wrist in first person view I just want Kalli Tribal Black tattoo's Design's every one of them to different in this story unlike in the game iron sight Kalli has the same Tattoo symbol on both her shoulders and left wrist and maybe right wrist in first person view she walked to sofa seat to my left and sat in and faced me and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me on the lips then she straddled my groin area in the Cowgirl sex position I have pant's on while this is happing then wrapped her arms around my neck resumed kissing me with a french kiss stopped touching my lips I opened my eyes Kalli was still straddling me in the Cowgirl sex position "what Colonge are you wearing?." asked Kalli " Polo Green by Ralph Lauren ." Matthew "it smells amazing." said Kalli out of nowhere my stomach started growling "sorry about that, wanna go out for dinner.?" asked Matthew "sure." said Kalli I gave Kalli a Black Sweatshirt to put on to cover up her black tank top wrist's and shoulders where her Tribal Black tattoo's are before me and Kalli got in my Ford Fusion car and went to one of my favorite Restaurant's Eric's Porter-Haus a supper club in waukesha on a Saturday Night me and Kalli sat at a Table together Kalli had a 16 oz Prime Rib with Sauteed Mushrooms haystack onions Baked potato French onion soup I had 16 oz Prime Rib Sauteed Mushrooms haystack onions Baked potato French onion soup i did eat what ever Prime Rib piece's Kalli did not eat in Real Life i eat what my mom does not finish on her plate of food so that the leftover food does not get throw in the garbage and go to waste after I payed for the meal and gave the waiter 20 us dollar tip me and Kalli went back home in my Ford Fusion car Me and Kalli were on the sofa together watching the news we deided to go to bed Kalli went to bed before I did i grabbed Shantae Genie lamp I rubbed it and Shantae came out "Master Matthew how may I be service to you and your Girlfriend Kalli" .? asked Shantae "can team rainbow be notified there is a new rainbow Operator my Girlfriend." said Matthew "your wish is my command Master Matthew ." said Shantae with a snap of her fingers I went to over to Shantae and whispered a Wish Gift For my Girlfriend Kalli " Could you Give My Girlfriend Kalli a Barrett Model 98B with 10 round with Suppressor Bipod chambered in .338 Lapua Magnum sniper Rife Rounds and a AK-105 with silencer Foregrip laser Sight with 60 round Magazine's and Chest rig/tactical rig for Magazine storage in Separate Boxes Tommorow when the Mail Arrives ." said Matthew "your wish is my command Master Matthew ." said Shantae with a snap of her fingers Shantae went to sleep in her Lamp and Me and Kalli went to Sleep Together in a Queen Sized Purple Mattress
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Mar 20, 2019 05:01
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Does the thread where a goon bought some guy's half-finished war novel in a yard sale go in this thread? Does that count as fanfiction where the self-insert protagonist also talks about how his dick is as thick as a grenade? https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3784600
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Mar 20, 2019 05:08
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For generations, the Amazons had ruled the land with even temperament, womanly empathy, and strong-handed decency. The men and women in their lands celebrated with unmitigated joy, reveling in the utopian society that the warrior-women had administered, secure that they could aspire to their ambitions with the support of all the authorities around them. But then...They came. Those gargantuan, voluptuous bitches that overthrew the beloved Amazons came to establish their own authority. The Gyanaco-Titans came from the mountains, administering death to all that opposed them. Averaging between 6.7 feet to 8.5 feet in height, the Gyanaco-Titans resembled the Amazons in their bodies' curvaceous proportions , but only in that regard. They were as cruel and merciless as the bounty of their abundant bosoms. Now, the Gyanaco-Titans rule the land, but there are rumors, hopeful...astonishing rumors, that an Amazon has slain a Gyanaco-Titan! Most Amazons range in height between 5.7 and 6.5 feet tall. Even so, the tallest Amazons have to look upward to meet the gaze of the shortest Titans. In fact, just now, the heroine Pompeia is looking up to meet the eyes of the Gyanaco-Titan whose heart is warming her sword, but the Titan's eyes are fixed on the weapon that is rapidly killing her. She is utterly shocked that the sword of an Amazon has been fatally skewered between her enormous bare breasts. A meager...little...Amazon! Before the confrontation, the Titan had bellowed in that way that they have, like a womanly shriek combined with the roar of a tyrannosaur. If this insolent little Amazon insisted on withholding her taxes, then she must be slain; as an example to all others. The Titan had engaged Pompeia in fearsome combat, confident of her impending victory as her gigantic breasts bobbed and quivered with her efforts to assault the Amazon. The Titan was initially intrigued by the Amazon's ability to dodge and deflect her lethal strikes, but that intrigue morphed into painful surprise as the Titan missed a block that resulted in the cold steel that now resides between her soft, heavy tits. As she takes the sword in her cleavage, the Titan involuntarily hollers out with a feminine, reptilian cry! As her titties quiver with disdain, she pleads to know "Ha...how?" The victorious Amazons caresses a finger around the enormity of the Titan's left breast before pinching the erect nipple, declaring "Perhaps you know my older sister, Herculania? She slays She-Beasts, you know." The Titan's eyes widen even more as she drops her sword to grasp her voluminous tits in agony. "Call it sibling rivalry," Pompeia continues, "If history is to remember my name, then I need my own cause. Consequently, I will be known as a slayer of Gyanaco-Titans!" Pompeia withdraws her sword, emphasizing her words. Blood spews from the Titan's cleavage as the fatal wound is unplugged. The Titan's eyes roll as she stumbles around, groping her breasts and bellowing out her final noises. The ground shakes as she drops dead in a cloud of dust, a voluptuous corpse of tits and rear end in the middle of Pompeia's courtyard. Godzilla Collapse Gif The skilled Amazon places a victorious foot atop the dead Gyanaco-Titan, raising her bloodied sword above her head as the surrounding Amazons cheer with hope and enthusiasm!
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Mar 20, 2019 05:12
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i only looked at a few to find some choice quotes for another thread but Star Trek crossover stuff like where Jean-Luc Picard ends up in Hogwarts is hilarious and not even gross sex fanfic if someone is so inclined
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Mar 20, 2019 05:17
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God x Jesus Chapter 1 - Genesis One day in Heaven God was feeling very horny. He was too tired to masturbate though. "Hmm" thought God "what a predicament". Then it struck him. He was all powerful, he didn't have to manually get himself off. He could make a sex slave! So then God went down to the earth and tried to find a good woman to bear an offspring. He went to a stable. Suddenly...Mary was there! Her husband Joseph had left. "Perfect" thought God "A young defenceless virgin girl she will make a good child bearer" then God went down and raped Mary. "if you tell anyone I'll loving kill you" god muttered to her. Mary nodded, terrified. 9 months later a baby Jesus was born. God came down to claim him. "my son!" said God "you will grow up for great things! you are indeed very sexy .perfect!" then God killed Mary because she was a dirty whore. God couldn't have sex with baby Jesus so he left him on the earth until he was grown up. 20 years later Jesus had grown up. He had done many good things in the world like killing the Romans and leading the jews through the red sea. God found this a turn on. God came down for Jesus one day whilst Jesus was being baptised. John the baptiser had left to go buy some beer and Jesus was left alone naked in the pool. He had a six pack, some chest hair and a manly stubble. God crept up silently behind him naked. "Jesus" said God. Jesus jumped but didn't turn around. "wh - who is this?" he asked tentatively. "your daddy" God reached down under the water to feel Jesus' rear end. It was firm and smooth. Then he reached round the front and stroked his huge cock. Jesus was a bit scared but also a bit turned on. He turned around to face God. God stood there proudly with his 12 inch penis waving in the wind. "hello son" he said sexily. Jesus was scared, and tried to disguise his erection. "what do you want?" he whispered. "I want you to suck me" god said in a low voice. Jesus obeyed. He closed his mouth around the throbbing shaft and deepthroated God. "mmm yes more" God cried. "suck me harder bitch, harder!" Jesus continued sucking him off until God couldn't take any more. He was shuddering in ecstacy, his face sweaty. "more! more!" Suddenly God ejaculated into Jesus' mouth. Jesus swallowed all of his cum, savouring every last drop. He sucked until god's cock was completely dry. "wow that sure beats fapping" God breathed heavily. "are we done yet" Jesus asked, secretely hoping that there was more to come. "we're not finished yet!" God roared powerfully. There was a desk nearby. God forcefully grabbed Jesus and slammed him onto the desk in doggie position. God thrust his erect penis into Jesus' rear end in a top hat, and Jesus' screamed in pain. "take it like a man son" God yelled as he pounded Jesus' sorry rear end again and again. Jesus moaned in pain, his eyes filling with tears. God thrust faster and faster, harder and harder, breathing rapidly. Jesus panted and groaned with pleasure and pain. "I've never took it in the rear end before" Jesus panted, lost for breath. God was grunting louder, as he began to near his climax. Jesus was also grunting in exsquisite agony. God became so excited he couldn't hold it in any longer. He pulled out and sprayed his load all over Jesus rear end. Jesus came at the same time, he let out one scream of unbearable pleasure. All the cum swirled and mixed around in the water, Jesus flopped down into a chair, exhausted and relieved. God stood up panting. Suddenly God noticed someone standing by some trees. John had returned from the shops to finish baptising Jesus. "I'm sorry" John apologised "I didn't wanna interrupt" God noticed that John had an erection. He got an idea. "not to worry John" god said "Are you up for a threesome?" TO BE CONTINUED
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Mar 20, 2019 05:18
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Hihohe posted:Dangit, dobby.
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Mar 20, 2019 06:31
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Didn't avshalom get once probated for posting the Widowmaker fart fanfic?quote:
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Mar 20, 2019 07:14
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font color sea posted:Didn't avshalom get once probated for posting the Widowmaker fart fanfic? Yeah but I think she was spamming in a bunch of threads and also guilty of posting while avshalom
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Mar 20, 2019 08:05
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*continues to smell her gas*
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Mar 20, 2019 08:12
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FactsAreUseless posted:she has a Russian ascent ." said Matthew idk why this slays me so
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Mar 20, 2019 08:22
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font color sea posted:Didn't avshalom get once probated for posting the Widowmaker fart fanfic? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V4VxlsMuQ4
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Mar 20, 2019 08:27
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esperterra posted:idk why this slays me so I’m imagining that she has a Russian accent yet actually speaks no Russian.
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Mar 20, 2019 08:43
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This one is long but it's my favorite fanfic ever. It's not an intentional joke, or even particularly bad (though I use that description relatively), just amazingly, beautifully guileless. I found it by chance and it's the purest example I've ever seen of how did the person making this not realize this is not the proper medium to convey what they're trying to convey? Nearly a decade ago I was loafing around at a friend's house with him and his girlfriend, and she jokingly said that they were tired and I should read them a bedtime story. I pulled out my tablet, went to fanfiction.net, chose a random cartoon, searched for an M-rated story, and began to read it aloud. Little did we know that what was about to unfold would forge a bond between us that would last another 5 years or so I think idk I don't really talk to them anymore. It was funny though, they laughed This is "Ashes of the Cold, Colorless City" https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4868194/1/Ashes-of-the-Cold-Colorless-City quote:Ashes of the Cold, Colorless City by Ivy Electronica   Left picture: (from left) Schnitzel, Mung, Chowder; Right picture: Chowder with Gorgonzola Marzipan is the name of the city they live in  at least... it was... quote:Chapter One quote:Chapter Two quote:They're eyes both met. The sat there in silence, except from the crackling fire. quote:Chapter Three  )quote:As I lay there, my face engulfed in tears, I saw in the corner of my eye Shnitzel standing still as a rock [no pun intended].  he was voiced by Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force) quote:"Well," he responded. "When some people feel sad, I heard they take a pill called an 'anti-depressant'." I blinked curiously at him. quote:Chapter Four  )quote:I glanced out the window to catch Shnitzel walking out the door. He was wearing a big, black overcoat with something sticking out of his pocket. It was a big, long, metal thing, but from my view, I couldn't make out what it specifically was. By this time, I stopped playing with Kimchi, and watched Shnitzel get engulfed in the dark night with curious eyes. I raced downstairs, put on shoes, and followed Shnitzel outside, fearing he might get in trouble.  quote:I kept running forward until I caught sight of Shnitzel's form heading to Marzipan's water tower, which was located in the center of town. I followed him, occasionally having to hide behind crates when he peeked over his shoulder. He climbed up the water tower's old latter, while people watched in shock. That ladder had been there since the beginning of Marzipan's existence; it could've broken under his feet. I didn't dare to follow him up that ladder. quote:Attention: thelastgreatrocker15 is in need of reviews! Show him/her some love and check out the story 'The Life and Death of Chowder'! And if you like some Flapjack Larry/Punsie fluffy slash, then check out 'Counting Stars' on my profile. Thanks for all the reviews :'D I'm going to cut off here, because it's about where we stopped, but, in summary: - Schnitzel (rock monster who talks in nonsense) and Mung (blue-skinned old man) were lovers - Mung died in a car accident - Schnitzel began abusing anti-depressants (???), turned to harder drugs, and then massacred everybody in the city with a gun and a bomb. Gazpacho (bug-eyed elephant thing) apparently sacrificed himself getting Chowder out alive. - Chowder (the fat purple thing in a bathrobe with a pet fart) has lived in the woods for the six years since. - He returns to the city and finds a badly wounded lone survivor: Gorgonzola (little green rat monster with a comical giant candle on his head). According to the tags, this eventually becomes an explicit sexual relationship, but idk we never got that far. Proceed at your own discretion  When I first discovered this we actually skipped ahead and had no idea why Chowder was living in a post-apocalyptic yaoi hellscape. I assumed it was left vague, so the revelation that it was the result of Schnitzel, drug-addled and heart-broken over his dead gay lover Mung, single-handedly killing everybody and then himself really solidified my love for this fic. And apparently I wasn't the only fan! quote:Additional Comments: This is my most popular story so far, and I am so grateful of all my fans ;;w;; Thank you all so much !! Each review warms my heart ;3; Also, I started this way back in '09, where I wasn't as good as a writer. I apologize for all the short chapters and the errors ;A; edit: 2/4/13 HOLY poo poo GUYS THIS IS REALLY TERRIBLE WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE 
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Mar 20, 2019 08:58
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b
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Mar 20, 2019 09:16
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GBS: Couldn't handle my farts, huh? Oh well.... *continues to fart on him*
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Mar 20, 2019 12:08
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