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Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Paperhouse posted:

No way around the CPR minigame though :(

The CPR minigame has no "lose" state, and it's not like there's some perfect timing that you can use to win it in one try, either. You literally just need to hit a total "breath" number to win across all attempts, and you just get a bigger number each time for doing it when the lungs are more full. Like, it should take you about 4-7 turns to get it done.

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Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
FFTA2's Ivalice is definitely the place to live. It's got the bunny girls, the immortality, and the Judges are just kinda there instead of completely spoiling your fun.

Did that game even have a plot other than "go do sidequest adventures"? I honestly cannot remember.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

CeallaSo posted:

No no, you're thinking of their AAA development scheduling. This is a side title, so it'll get rushed over the course of the next 2 years and then reworked as a mobile gacha.

Already happened.

https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Final_Fantasy_Tactics_S

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
That was the best part of Cait Sith's return. He show back up immediately after his "death" in what should be a funny scene, only to come across Cloud beating the poo poo out of Aerith and is all :yikes:

The emotional tone of that series of scenes is just all over the place and it's kind of great.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Elephant Ambush posted:

Wait what? Cloud beats Aerith? Huh?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpbVkfboD-4&t=1234s

Yeah, listen to the sound effects if the animations aren't clear enough.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
Also I don't remember her being horny at all. She looked like she was dressed by a horny boy, but she seemed to act completely oblivious to any and all come-ons or innuendo.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
I could appreciate Kuja as a character if they didn't make him look like a total slut.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
It's like everyone forgets noted Final Fantasy character Zardoz

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Cleretic posted:

Cid beats his partner (on-screen!) and he's supposed to be one of the key good guys...

When does Cid beat Shera? I thought the thing with Cid was that he was terribly emotionally abusive, but I don't remember him hitting her.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

rodbeard posted:

I'm replaying ffix on the switch. I'm following a walkthrough to try to do absolutely everything but there have been multiple times where I've missed stuff just from the window you need to drop everything to backtrack to progress through a side quest is ridiculous. You also get way too powerful gear from questing. Sometimes I get like 3 item upgrades without getting into a fight. I'm having trouble keeping bosses alive long enough to steal from them. I feel like they realized fights were too slow and just cut a lot of combat out of the game instead of fixing the pacing.

Maybe if you don't enjoy jumping through the sidequest hoops and you don't enjoy being overpowered from sidequest rewards, stop doing sidequests? If you use a walkthrough to get all the sidequest rewards and hidden treasures, you'll end up overpowered in pretty much any Final Fantasy.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Regalingualius posted:

So, I bit the bullet and bought the 12 remaster for Switch today, already a little bit in after exploring all over the starter city. Aside from watching the first few hours of it from an LP, I’m pretty much blind. Anything in particular I should be warned about in advance?

Be careful casting magic around the big glowy ball dudes. Explore because there are a LOT of optional areas in the game. They'll often be way over your level when you can first access them, but if you're brave and run through the areas like a madman you can get some nice stuff early.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Bruceski posted:

Loot is pretty random because each chest is set to one of a couple items which may just be gold, and they may not spawn at all. Don't go grinding for 10% rare drops, that way lies madness, just play the items you're dealt. Still go for chests and steals and such, just don't get bent out of shape if you don't get anything.

You get one item (Diamond Armlet) that changes the loot tables of chests. In the original the chests where this was worth it were scattered all over the place and pretty much needed a guide. In the Zodiac version it's just the Cerobi Steppe, and it's everything in the Steppe, so no need to get bent out of shape.

In the Zodiac Age version there are a lot of fixed chests that contain important things like spells, so it's definitely worthwhile to explore to seek out chests. But yeah, don't keep zoning back and forth trying to farm the random respawning chests.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
To be fair I think that person tried to kill them or something. Turnabout is fair play and all that.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

zedprime posted:

If you play FF8 like someone vaguely human it can be really fun.

So, exactly the opposite of the way 95% of JRPG players play. If your game systems rely on players fighting all of their basic gaming instincts to be "balanced" or "fun", the it's the game's fault for failing.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

DrNutt posted:

What is the best smartphone/mobile FF game to play? Is FFRK still the goon favorite because it's just a gacha with good sprite art for collecting your fave FF characters?

I still enjoy FFRK, although I can see it being a bit overwhelming to start after years of new features and such being added. But it's pretty free-2-play friendly. I played it for four years, I think I've done maybe 3 paid pulls in that time, I have had terrible gacha luck, and yet I've completed almost all of the hardest content.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
If you are not charmed by the characters in FFIX, then you have no soul, and you should give up on the game and also life.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
If you collect all the best female clothing items, Cloud dresses as Lightning.

e: and Don Corneo becomes Motomu Toriyama.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

romanowski posted:

what's the point of setting the ATB to "Wait" in FF8 if these minotaur bosses can attack me and cure themselves three times while I'm trying to find a specific magic spell out of the 100 that I've drawn

You can cast magic spells in FF8?? :aaaaa:

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
Vagrant Story is my favorite game that I never want to play again.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

The White Dragon posted:

a good 50% of the game takes place in underground hallways with monsters that eat electricity and metal

That's not a real answer, but also wrong. We do get that you don't like XII, though.

Oh, you expanded your answer. Well still wrong; that only describes the Barheim Passage. There were also rails in the mines in Bhujerba, but literally nothing else about the description applies to that location.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Gologle posted:

You know, it bothers me how easily everybody gets back on board with stopping Kefka in the world of ruin. Of all of them, Strago is the only one that makes sense in universe.

This is a good opportunity to read you my essay on how Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame are just a retelling of Final Fantasy VI.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
Yeah, FFX had towns, temples, minigames, random wandering NPCs to chat up, and the ability to go back to pretty much anywhere in the world later on. It's got sidequests and hidden items for everyone's ultimate weapons. It even has not one, but TWO optional semi-hidden Aeons to collect! It is, compared to XIII, a smorgasbord of gameplay variety.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
Apparently most of his "Mr. T" stylings were added by the translator. He apparently talked like a normal "tough guy" in the Japanese script.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
Has there never been an underwater town in a FF game? I seem to remember FF1 having some mermaids, but I thought they were all turned into bubbles or something and didn't really have a town.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
I remember a lot of people having trouble with Elder Wyrm in XII, to the point where people would often recommend going through an optional area just to avoid the fight. He had this bad-breath move to hit you with a million statuses.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
Not... really? Most FF games give you stuff through level advancement, and the bosses are usually very flexible in how you can beat them. I can think of almost no examples in the series where you're "given" something right before a boss that you're expected to use on the boss. Like, FFV has some of the most puzzle-y bosses of stuff you "should" use on them, and those are just based on clever use of job skills that you're given at the beginning of the game, and almost every one of those bosses can be cheesed by a huge number of job combinations (see that Four Job Fiesta posted above).

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Dell_Zincht posted:

You can pick up a Water Ring before entering The City of The Ancients in FFVII, it's not exactly hidden out of the way and it means you cannot possibly lose to Jenova LIFE.

I didn't say it never happened, just that I could think of almost no examples across a 15+ entry game series spanning hundreds of hours. The poster I was responding to made it sound like "give item-> use item to win" like a Zelda game was the standard way FF games were laid out, which is just wrong.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

NikkolasKing posted:

I did everything I was told to but my Advent Children Cloud had no head.

Pictured: NikkolasKing

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Max Coveri posted:

Hey folks, I'm gonna play Final Fantasy VII for the first time (not my first FF though) on Steam. Are there any graphical/performance enhancing mods for it or should I play it as is?

Just wait for the Remake. :laugh:

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
Skip XIII and XIII-2 and just play Lightning Returns instead.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
The proper way to do the Wrexsoul fight is to have him possess someone, then use X-zone to kill both his Soul Savers and go on your merry way, with a horrifying conglomeration of vengeful souls inhabiting one of your characters forever.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

ninjewtsu posted:

why did they go back to cocoon in the first place? bart shows up, tells them "come to cocoon so i can fulfill my evil plan," and gives them an owl space ship. and they just kind of do it?

I'm pretty sure he was all, "I'm going to gently caress up Cocoon something fierce, so you can come stop me or you can just watch while I kill lots of people" and they were all "well, we have to try and stop him I guess." I mean, they still knew they were doing just what he wanted and they didn't have any sort of plan to avoid that, but I think they sort of had a justification?

I dunno, XIII's plot is almost as bad as VIII's.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Merilan posted:

When I played FFX HD I wanted to be cute with the Expert grid and send Tidus down Lulu's path and make him a Black Mage, Lulu down Auron's path and make her a Knight etc.

This turned out to be a mistake since characters start at like 20 for their high stats and 5 for their low ones (i.e. 20 str and 5 mag for Tidus) so the game was just unnecessarily tedious and hard since i was doing way less damage than expected

Also stuff like "piercing" will still only be on Auron's swords and Kimahri's lances, and magic boosts will generally only be on Lulu's dolls, etc. The game really isn't designed to have characters completely leave their niche. Seems like the expert grid is really only intended for self-imposed challenges.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

W.T. Fits posted:

The Final Fantasy X-2 soundtrack's not on there. :smith:

Thank god.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Zedsdeadbaby posted:

Holy poo poo keep moving the goalposts dude. You are literally arguing with a developer quote now.

You are adorable!

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
Episode 1 will be the first Mako Reactor mission. The swirly ghosts are clearly a new end boss for the episode manifesting.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
If George Lucas was still in control of Star Wars after getting ideas here, he could re-release Episode IV as a new trilogy, where the first movie is just Luke picking up power converters on Tatooine.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
Whoever has the highest affection points gets killed. RIP Barret.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Gologle posted:

Real talk, would they actually do a DLC or alternate path type thing where Aeris doesn't die for whatever reason? Either just putting her in the party with no explanation or making it a full blown thing. Is it likely in this day and age?

They should make an Aerith skin for Tifa as a DLC. That would make the love triangle even more awkward.

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Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Scalding Coffee posted:

Cloud x Yuffie is adorable. Probably the only good thing in her life since the time Shinra invaded her homeland and killed her friends and mother* and turned her country into a resort. Forever disgracing her legendary monster dad in the process.

I don't know if she thought it was all that great because she's trying to tell him about her crush and he is just ice cold stonewalling her.

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