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Linux Pirate posted:During Sesame Street when the announcer said "closed captioning is made possible by viewers like you" I thought it was closed capturing and that all the characters on the show were captured and being forced to work. When they said viewers like you, I thought it literally meant me, like I was somehow responsible for making Sesame Street a thing. You're welcome.
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Apr 6, 2019 16:10
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Hell Stink posted:When they said viewers like you, I thought it literally meant me, like I was somehow responsible for making Sesame Street a thing. https://youtu.be/ef7cTuVUiWs
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Apr 6, 2019 16:57
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CPL593H posted:I guess what I don't understand is that you had no clue how any combination of people could gently caress if you knew what loving is. Did it just not occur to you or were you raised Mormon or something? Were you unaware of gay and bisexual people? I'm not trying to be a dick I just find this interesting. It didn't occur to me. In my mind, 2 gay guys could have gay butt sex (and I thought this was the only kind of sex gay men had. Like others have said, I thought it was a taking turns kind of thing, like the person getting hosed wasn't getting any pleasure out of it), and 2 lesbians could have sex (which I always assumed was 69'ing, didn't learn about fisting until I was in college, didn't learn about scissoring until, like, my late 20's.). A bisexual male could have sex with another guy, or another girl, or participate in a FFM threesome, but the thought never occurred to me that they'd have a MMF threesome. Similarly, a bisexual female could have a sex with a guy, or another girl, or participate in a FFM threesome. I never saw nor heard of anyone having a MMF threesome through high school, and the thought never occurred to me. Oddly, I knew what a gang bang was, but I assumed all the men formed a line and took turns, one at a time. It didn't occur to me that a woman could (or would) blow a guy while another guy hosed her, or that she could take a dick in the rear end and the vagina at the same time until I saw it in college thanks to pornography. In high school, the only people I knew of who had any form of group sex, it was FFM. This was the late 90's, so... 
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Apr 6, 2019 21:19
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I used to get really confused when my family visited a shop that was on a hill, and we'd go in at ground level, go up a flight of stairs, and come out... on ground level again?!?!? For a while, I concluded that there were two cities invisible to one another, one at regular ground level and the other at first floor level, and those shops let you travel between them.
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Apr 8, 2019 15:14
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What could the police do if you dumped an entire bottle of LSD on yourself? 🤔
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Apr 8, 2019 17:29
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When I was little, I had this weird idea that the world was kind of like a Dyson sphere. That is, the ground was like a shell that curved around the sun and sky.
Mind Loving Owl fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Apr 9, 2019 |
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Apr 9, 2019 09:56
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Mind Loving Owl posted:When I was little, I had this weird idea that the world was kind of like a Dyson sphere. That is, the ground was like a shell that curve around the sun and sky. Like flat-earthers, there are grown up people with jobs and families and responsibilities and poo poo who truly believe this.
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Apr 9, 2019 12:42
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Like flat-earthers, there are grown up people with jobs and families and responsibilities and poo poo who truly believe this. Cellular cosmology, right? Crazy poo poo.
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Apr 9, 2019 15:47
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when I was eight, I couldn't climb trees for poo poo on my ninth birthday, I was like "oh hey, I'm now older, therefore I can climb trees" I genuinely thought birthdays worked like some kinda rpg level up system
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Apr 17, 2019 21:36
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LabyaMynora posted:It didn't occur to me. In my mind, 2 gay guys could have gay butt sex (and I thought this was the only kind of sex gay men had. Like others have said, I thought it was a taking turns kind of thing, like the person getting hosed wasn't getting any pleasure out of it), and 2 lesbians could have sex (which I always assumed was 69'ing, didn't learn about fisting until I was in college, didn't learn about scissoring until, like, my late 20's.). A bisexual male could have sex with another guy, or another girl, or participate in a FFM threesome, but the thought never occurred to me that they'd have a MMF threesome. Similarly, a bisexual female could have a sex with a guy, or another girl, or participate in a FFM threesome. Buddy let me tell you about a little thing we call DVDA and get ready to have your mind blown
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Apr 17, 2019 22:02
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Nooner posted:Buddy let me tell you about a little thing we call DVDA and get ready to have your mind blown Learned about that from Orgazmo... which I watched in college.
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Apr 17, 2019 22:12
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I thought barber chairs could raise up to infinity if you kept pumping the lever because I saw it in a Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd cartoon. Edit: I knew the stuff that happened in cartoons doesn’t happen in real life but for some reason that one seemed entirely plausible to me.
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Apr 18, 2019 09:38
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I remember not really believing that other languages existed and that it was just a long-running joke that a lot of people were in on.
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Apr 18, 2019 09:46
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:I'd play super hard NES games, like Zelda 2, and be totally fine with not getting anywhere (I didn't understand the spell system because I couldn't read). Like I'd visit both starting towns a few times, go into the palace, die a bunch, and then, without any frustration whatsoever, turn off the game only to come back later and do it all again, and that was Zelda 2 to me, back in the late 80s. Fuckin this. Also we're all in a movie and it's called "In Greetings."
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Apr 18, 2019 09:57
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:I'd play super hard NES games, like Zelda 2, and be totally fine with not getting anywhere (I didn't understand the spell system because I couldn't read). Like I'd visit both starting towns a few times, go into the palace, die a bunch, and then, without any frustration whatsoever, turn off the game only to come back later and do it all again, and that was Zelda 2 to me, back in the late 80s.
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Apr 18, 2019 12:37
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Getting confused between Mt Everest and Mt Erebus Thinking that the TV was a warp between my lounge and wherever the show was On a related note, not really comprehending special effects, so while I knew that the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation were actors, I though that they were on a starship and had been trained to operate it. Not me, but one of my friends thought that 'penis' was synonymous with 'genetalia', so he said, when he claimed he had hosed someone, 'i put my penis in her penis'
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Apr 18, 2019 13:54
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1000 Brown M and Ms posted:'i put my penis in her penis' This is called docking
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Apr 18, 2019 14:00
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I distinctly remember my dad telling me that my younger brother would grow up to be older than me. I also remember wondering if everyone around me were actually robots and I was the only real person. This was pre-matrix and pre-truman show. Fun times!
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Apr 23, 2019 03:58
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If you failed a grade enough times you were just a failure of humanity and the teacher had to chop your head off with an axe. Who would have guessed I'd grow up to have an anxiety disorder
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Apr 23, 2019 04:16
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Killingyouguy! posted:If you failed a grade enough times you were just a failure of humanity and the teacher had to chop your head off with an axe. speaking of axes, I grew up in TORNADO ALLEY but never actually saw one in person; however, I did look at a lot of pictures of them in books, and was convinced for the longest time that they were solid, and I could defend my family from a tornado by "chopping it down with an axe"
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Apr 23, 2019 13:43
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Stumbled upon some porn and thought the dicks in porn were extensions of some sort not actual dicks. I was traumatized.
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Apr 23, 2019 14:06
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The first few times I masturbated, before any jizz or anything, it blew my mind how afterwards my dick went limp and tugging on it more felt uncomfortable. I was sure something horrible would happen if I continued jerking it after orgasm and was afraid.
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Apr 23, 2019 15:01
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Grevling posted:The first few times I masturbated, before any jizz or anything, it blew my mind how afterwards my dick went limp and tugging on it more felt uncomfortable. I was sure something horrible would happen if I continued jerking it after orgasm and was afraid. Yeah, the first time, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me.  Thanks for all of the info, school/parents!
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Apr 23, 2019 15:22
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I thought that sex was when a man peed in a woman’s butt. If she really liked him, she would then poop.
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Apr 23, 2019 15:54
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Head Bee Guy posted:I thought that sex was when a man peed in a woman’s butt. If she really liked him, she would then poop. its not?
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Apr 23, 2019 16:27
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I was raised by a single mother. One day when I was around four we went to the church cemetery, and I remember picking out a random grave, and telling her it was my fathers grave. He died in the war, and saved many lives. Its too bad mom never got to meet him, they would have been a good couple. I also remember wondering if earth was just all part of a massive intergalactic TV show aliens watch. Or if I was the only real living person on earth and aliens were experimenting on me to see how a human interacts with others. Every other human on earth was a alien controlled robot.
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Apr 23, 2019 23:46
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"if i change my character's name in final fantasy then king baron won't be able to find me because i changed my name" -me, age 8
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Apr 24, 2019 00:15
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Head Bee Guy posted:I thought that sex was when a man peed in a woman’s butt. If she really liked him, she would then poop. lol, that reminds me of this time in 5th grade when another kid asked to borrow my pencil. He was an rear end in a top hat who picked on me a lot so I said no, dude flips out and starts shouting at the top of his lungs in the otherwise quiet classroom: "YOU'RE A FAG ZARTOSHT, THAT'S WHY YOU'LL NEVER GET TO PEE IN A GIRL'S BUTT, CAUSE YOU'RE A FAG!!!!" And he was right, I've never peed in a girl's butt. 
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Apr 24, 2019 00:22
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Head Bee Guy posted:I thought that sex was when a man peed in a woman’s butt. If she really liked him, she would then poop. I also thought that pee impregnated the woman, but knew that the vagina was the orifice for that, not the butt.  However, I was also under the impression that a woman could impregnate another woman by peeing into her vagina. A man and a woman could make a baby, or two women could, but not two men.
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Apr 24, 2019 00:46
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No no no, you guys have it all wrong. Sex is when a girl puts her clit inside a dude's urethra!!
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Apr 24, 2019 01:15
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I legit thought the world used to be in black and white.
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Apr 24, 2019 01:16
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I thought that 'sex, drugs, and rock n roll' was a list of things that are illegal.
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Apr 24, 2019 01:39
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After first seeing Empire Strikes Back, the scene with Yoda training Luke really struck a chord with me and I thought the Force seemed like a very believable idea. I gave up on it pretty quickly but I have to admit I spent some time in deep concentration trying to levitate rocks.
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Apr 24, 2019 02:10
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That art would be a good field to go into.
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Apr 24, 2019 15:46
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Joey and I were playing on the school ground one day. We were probably 7 or 8, and I had seen Kindergarten Cop. Joey said something about a 'vagina', and I quickly and with more conviction that I ever deserved to have said 'Uhh, Joey, you're wrong. It's 'Bagina'' He didn't argue. I wonder if, when he learned the truth, he thought back to when I just flat-out told him bullshit (that I believed at the time, mind you).
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Apr 24, 2019 16:48
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1) I also thought the world itself was black and white in the old days. 2) Would see signs for “blind driveways” and wondered why a blind person would be allowed to drive. 3) Knew “onion” and “union” were different things, but when trying to spell the former....”union” just made more phonetic sense. 4) Thought “unsightly” meant something you couldn’t see.
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May 2, 2019 00:05
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I understood that the middle finger was Bad but didn't really grasp the mechanics of giving someone the bird. So I'd do it with the tip of my middle finger pointing at the intended target and giving the most hateful glade I could muster
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May 2, 2019 00:38
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I just thought of another one. When I was sick, I wouldn't talk to my great-grandmother on the phone, because I was afraid that she would catch my illness through the phone lines.
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May 2, 2019 02:36
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Joey and I were playing on the school ground one day. We were probably 7 or 8, and I had seen Kindergarten Cop. Joey said something about a 'vagina', and I quickly and with more conviction that I ever deserved to have said 'Uhh, Joey, you're wrong. It's 'Bagina'' I got my first year of Sex Ed in Georgia so thought it was pronounced “mastabation”. I laughed at the Sex Ed teacher when I moved to Canada, whoops.
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May 2, 2019 04:13
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Tork Monkee 4 Life posted:3) Knew “onion” and “union” were different things, but when trying to spell the former....”union” just made more phonetic sense. You're not wrong there. Maybe we should re-designate the vegetable as union and the conglomeration as yunion.
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May 2, 2019 05:02
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