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I had never heard the beatles but had heard plenty of them and was led to believe they were good people who made really good music and that's why they were so well known. Boy, was I wrong.
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May 21, 2019 14:56
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I was given a kids record in grade 1 and saw it had a song called "Sandwiches", and I thought it meant "sand witches" until I listened to it because I had apparently never seen the word spelled before and thought it was pronounced "sammiches". I'm not sure how I knew the word witches before I knew the word sandwich. TV maybe? I also envisioned witches coming out of the sand like zombies grabbing at me so it was a relief the song wasn't scary after all.
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May 21, 2019 15:05
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I always sorta assumed I'd get a chance to be on Legends of the Hidden Temple. There was no reason to believe this, I just sorta thought every kid got to do it.
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May 21, 2019 16:16
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The Sears Robot company. "Mom! Let's go to Sears and see the robots!"
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May 22, 2019 16:06
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Sponge Baathist posted:I had never heard the beatles but had heard plenty of them and was led to believe they were good people who made really good music and that's why they were so well known. Boy, was I wrong.  But along the music line, my folks didn't listen to much beyond country/'50s-early '60s oldies/etc when I was little and I somehow got it in my head that most popular rock bands after that were some kind of evil satanic metal. Psychedelic-era Beatles, Pink Floyd, the Stones, all evil.
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May 22, 2019 18:30
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Oh, right. I thought ozzy Osborne was a parody artist.
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May 22, 2019 19:21
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I assumed the Grateful Dead were a satanic hard rock band because of their name and because their logo was a skull and you never really heard them on the radio. I also thought “Heavy Metal” was just another one of those bands. I had this weird notion about movies where I thought that any movie that was rated R had to contain an equal measure of violence and nudity. So for instance a raunchy comedy like Porky’s would have scenes with tits and rear end, but also had huge amounts of bloodshed and horror. Conversely, I figured a horror film like Texas Chainsaw Massacre had to have extensive nude scenes. I was aware of the concept of X rated movies and I thought for sure those must be just start to finish, naked people brutally slaughtering each other. I pretty much concluded that all adults were depraved homicidal perverts.
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May 22, 2019 20:22
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Ralph Hurley posted:I assumed the Grateful Dead were a satanic hard rock band because of their name and because their logo was a skull and you never really heard them on the radio. Holy gently caress, same.
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May 22, 2019 21:50
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I thought it was legal for black people and black people only to smoke weed, because it was a part of their religion.
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May 22, 2019 21:53
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i didn't know what slack meant so when i heard the phrase "cut me some slack" i would imagine somebody slicing a loaf of a pitch-black gelatinous substance. almost like a loaf of tar.
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May 22, 2019 22:26
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i thought cucumbers, mushrooms and shellfish were bad
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May 22, 2019 23:11
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I as a child suspected that there were only really 25k-ish people in the world and that when you travelled it was really just to give “Them” time to rearrange things on the ground and set up for your arrival... Like fly to Florida from NY, they turn up heat, change trees, install Disneyworld... Flying to Paris, obviously more work to be done to change everything around so much longer flight. Etc.
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May 22, 2019 23:15
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poverty goat posted:i thought cucumbers, mushrooms and shellfish were bad Mushrooms are bad though. It's like eating pieces of somebody's cheek cucumbers and shellfish rule
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May 22, 2019 23:21
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Ralph Hurley posted:I pretty much concluded that all adults were depraved homicidal perverts. you were not wrong
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May 23, 2019 04:17
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i thought people in movies actually died, and learned about the concept of stunt doubles somehow without realizing people didn't actually die, so i thought they were body swapping in the old and dieing as stunt people to get killed. also, sewer side is when people go into the sewer to die. splinter and the ninja turtles came back from the brink
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May 23, 2019 05:08
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Dingleberry posted:I as a child suspected that there were only really 25k-ish people in the world and that when you travelled it was really just to give “Them” time to rearrange things on the ground and set up for your arrival... This is essentially virtual reality so your weird kid thoughts might become weird kid realities!
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May 23, 2019 10:17
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TheMostFrench posted:This is essentially virtual reality so your weird kid thoughts might become weird kid realities! Don't flat-fathers also believe something like this?
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May 24, 2019 04:59
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Ralph Hurley posted:X rated movies and I thought for sure those must be just start to finish, naked people brutally slaughtering each other. That sounds like it would be fuckin awesome. Are there any movies like that?
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May 24, 2019 06:02
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I thought whenever you turned away the world/objects you didn’t see vanished, so I would at random times spin around trying to see how they vanished. I guess I invented real world occlusion as a kid. Also I built a tree fort once and my parents told me the nails I used to tack up the boards were hurting the tree. Being like 9, I assumed it was like being crucified (way too much Sunday schooling) and the tree was screaming in agony and dying a slow death as it bleed out (sap was oozing a lot) so I ran out in the middle of the night at like 11pm after having too much guilt and started tearing the fort down when my parents came out to see what all the noise was I guess I was crying in a frenzy trying to save the tree’s life. Man that was hosed up poo poo. To this day I still think twice about nailing anything to a tree or cutting/trimming limbs.
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May 24, 2019 09:39
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Slayerjerman posted:Also I built a tree fort once and my parents told me the nails I used to tack up the boards were hurting the tree. Being like 9, I assumed it was like being crucified (way too much Sunday schooling) and the tree was screaming in agony and dying a slow death as it bleed out (sap was oozing a lot) so I ran out in the middle of the night at like 11pm after having too much guilt and started tearing the fort down when my parents came out to see what all the noise was I guess I was crying in a frenzy trying to save the tree’s life. Man that was hosed up poo poo. To this day I still think twice about nailing anything to a tree or cutting/trimming limbs. 
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May 24, 2019 17:12
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Slayerjerman posted:
Had I ever built a tree fort, I'd have done the same thing, don't worry
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May 24, 2019 17:19
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fakeaccount posted:That sounds like it would be fuckin awesome. Are there any movies like that? https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077247/?ref_=nv_sr_1?ref_=nv_sr_1 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073650/?ref_=nv_sr_1?ref_=nv_sr_1 Both examples off the top of my head came form the mid-70's. Weird.
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May 25, 2019 17:25
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LabyaMynora posted:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077247/?ref_=nv_sr_1?ref_=nv_sr_1 At least bloodsucking freaks was funny. Salo was just gross.
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May 25, 2019 17:48
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Salo isn't so bad when you realize the poop is just nutella and orange marmelade. Sounds pretty good, even
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May 25, 2019 21:38
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poverty goat posted:Salo isn't so bad when you realize the poop is just nutella and orange marmelade. Sounds pretty good, even Yeah I have a lethal hazelnut allergy. It would be much healthier for me to just eat poop.
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May 25, 2019 21:59
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I thought if you ate the sesame seeds on a Burger King burger a full-rear end burger would grow out of your gob. The stalk would resemble a sunflower.
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May 25, 2019 22:33
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When the temple guards grab you in legends of the hidden temple you're just gone forever
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May 25, 2019 22:42
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I used to think Shredder was called that because he could reach up through the toilet and shred your bits.
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May 26, 2019 00:19
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- Still a 'kid' in the eyes of the law: my first girlfriend and I had sex at 15, when the legal age of consent was 16. We thought we were going to go to jail if anyone found out. - I thought the vacuum in the swimming pool was a living thing that slept most of the day but came out during the twilight hours, like a big snake that lived on bits of dirt and leaves. When someone 'switched it on' I thought it was slang for waking it up at odd hours. - Chain saws had an actual chain in them, like the kind of chain you might use to pad lock your gate or to secure your bike. This was despite the fact that I had watched my dad swap out the old chain and seen the blades up close, I just thought it was a different part and you had to be a mechanic before you could actually see the chain. - In a similar vein, when someone said 'that guy is a wizard with [thing]' as slang for being knowledgeable, that they were an actual wizard with magical powers. Electricians were wizards because they made all the stuff in your house work by fiddling with things normal people couldn't deal with (this was before Harry Potter and LOTR movies, my idea of a wizard was someone like Merlin). - Sports cars went fast because they were angry, this is also why they were loud. - If you heard an ambulance siren it meant someone had died, they were just letting everyone know, like an ice cream truck for dead people. I also thought that if a person had died that they would get put straight into a hearse and taken to the graveyard (so a hearse was a tow truck for dead people). - Monty Python's Flying Circus was an actual circus in Britain (with a tent and everything), but they also had a TV show. - Everyone on TV worked at the TV building, and they had to have different channels because there were too many shows to fit into one day. I thought that the regional power station was the TV building, because it was very big and had lots of wires and stuff. - Everyone on TV shows was just like that in real life. Cartoon characters lived inside the screen in a cartoon world. The word 'actor' was for people who appeared in TV or movies (including the news, everyone was an actor). - News reporters were just really smart people who knew what was going on around the world and became actors because it was the easiest way to tell everyone.
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May 26, 2019 04:16
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I refused to eat ground beef unless my parents or older siblings convinced me that it was buffalo meat. I don't know if this counts as a weird thought or just a silly fantasy that kids do when I was five or six I was certain that I had leopard blood in me. I would climb up street-lamps and hiss, and prowl around like a cat when at the park. I was not trying to hide an erection. Amazingly, i did not become a furry
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May 26, 2019 06:23
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I had a Pokemon strategy guide for Red/Blue, and I noticed that the official artwork for the Pokemon didn't use a lot of color, but I thought it was because the ink was fading from my guide, and then when I saw the artwork on the internet was the same I freaked out because I could have sworn the coloring was filled in originally.
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Jun 5, 2019 18:07
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Zippy the Bummer posted:I refused to eat ground beef unless my parents or older siblings convinced me that it was buffalo meat. I don't know if this counts as a weird thought or just a silly fantasy that kids do Have you had actual buffalo burgers since?
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Jun 5, 2019 21:11
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I used to think JNCO jeans were so expensive because of the high-quality denim that would "last a lifetime" like I kept telling my parents until they bought some for me. I also thought people would think I was cool if only i had the jnco jeans to go with my korn+limp bizkit shirts.
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Jun 5, 2019 22:19
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When I was a little kid I was peeing, and I looked down at my penis and thought it was higher than normal. As in it shifted upwards, and was now fixed closer to my belly-button. Little logical me then deduced that it would keep moving up, all the way up my stomach and chest, and one day it'd be on my forehead. Then I wondered what it did once it got past your head, like did it go to the other side and keep traveling down your back? Would it eventually go back to the same spot it started in?
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Jun 6, 2019 00:52
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Ema Nymton posted:Have you had actual buffalo burgers since? I think I had one at Fuddruckers once. I guess it didn't make an impression
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Jun 6, 2019 01:35
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Zippy the Bummer posted:I think I had one at Fuddruckers once. I guess it didn't make an impression Buffalo is a lean, dry meat. Cows are better, that's why we make burgers from cows.
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Jun 6, 2019 02:27
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