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CPL593H posted:So two things: It helps to be extremely drunk and try really hard to take it EXTREMELY serious, especially when things are at their most absurd.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:40
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Natural dog feasts his eyes on strange planet and avoid sh*t falling from above. But who cares) Bark! Woof! Bark! I want coin! --- IF YOU F..KERS DONT PLAY MY LEVELS, I WILL NOT MAKE ANYMORE. YOU CAN PLAY THIS LEVEL AND MAKE ME CONTINUE OR YOU DONT PLAY THIS AND I SAY A GOODBYE TO YOU MOTHERF..KING AS.HO.ES
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Apr 21, 2019 02:48
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doverhog posted:That seems like it would be a challenge, as evidenced by your reluctance to do it. https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/whowalkeris And like I said, cradle lyrics aren't hard to read/record. But I'm not gonna spend effort on doing that. I prefer stuff that seems funny, silly, embarassing posts, or at the absolute very least a piece that interests me somehow. This bit you posted is cool imo tho
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Apr 21, 2019 02:49
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Your an obese lady, who can only eat watermelon as you have a rare allergy. Someone just took the last watermelon, now you must hunt them down in a chase, tied only to your electric shopping cart. Do you have the skill to navigate obstacles, and find it?
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Apr 21, 2019 02:49
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EorayMel posted:Your an obese lady, who can only eat watermelon as you have a rare allergy. Someone just took the last watermelon, now you must hunt them down in a chase, tied only to your electric shopping cart. Do you have the skill to navigate obstacles, and find it? I expect better of you, sir.  You've posted more good reading material than any other user ITT.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:51
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Have you done the Declaration of Independence yet? That's a classic.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:52
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Vato posted:Have you done the Declaration of Independence yet? That's a classic. https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/smdyfm
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Apr 21, 2019 02:54
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I'm sorry for trying to get you to do CoF lyrics, it was misguided. How about some more Tolkien? He chanted a song of wizardry, Of piercing, opening, of treachery, Revealing, uncovering, betraying. Then sudden Felagund there swaying Sang in answer a song of staying, Resisting, battling against power, Of secrets kept, strength like a tower, And trust unbroken, freedom, escape; Of changing and of shifting shape, Of snares eluded, broken traps, The prison opening, the chain that snaps. Backwards and forwards swayed their song. Reeling and foundering, as ever more strong The chanting swelled, Felagund fought, And all the magic and miht he brought Of Elvenesse into his words. Softly in the gloom they heard the birds Singing afar in Nargothrond, The sighing of the sea beyond, Beyond the western world, on sand, On sand of pearls in Elvenland. Then the gloom gathered; darkness growing In Valinor, the red blood flowing Beside the Sea, where the Noldor slew The Foamriders, and stealing drew Their white ships with their white sails From lamplit havens. The wind wails, The wolf howls. The ravens flee. The ice mutters in the mouths of the Sea. The captives sad in Angband mourn. Thunder rumbles, the fires burn – And Finrod fell before the throne.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:54
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Sorry for asking! So, only typed things (and not questions). I thought we we friends. Just goes to show what I know!
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Apr 21, 2019 03:00
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doverhog posted:I'm sorry for trying to get you to do CoF lyrics, it was misguided. https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/pardonmewhileinerd
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Apr 21, 2019 03:00
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Honky Dong Country posted:I expect better of you, sir. Oh fine how about this: when you kill and field dress a deer in red dead it shows your guy using some kind of corkscrew thing to pull out the deeds intestinal tract and then you get a deer turd in your inventory. apparently there's a quest where you collect them but I prefer to walk into the sheriff's office and throw them at the sheriff
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Apr 21, 2019 03:00
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Actually no, here is this:
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Apr 21, 2019 03:02
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Vato posted:Sorry for asking! So, only typed things (and not questions). I thought we we friends. Just goes to show what I know! Don't take it personal man lol. But honestly I'm not gonna read the declaration of independence. Try to think of things you've read that were hilarious or posts you saw that made you laugh like a moron. That kind of thing. My personal favorite thing is reading stuff like that completely earnestly and with as much conviction as I can muster without just laughing uncontrollably (which actually happens a lot but I cut that stuff out). Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 03:05 on Apr 21, 2019 |
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Apr 21, 2019 03:02
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Honky Dong Country posted:Don't take it personal man lol. But honestly I'm not gonna read the declaration of independence. Try to think of things you've read that were hilarious or posts you saw that made you laugh like a moron. That kind of thing. I was just thinking I'd like to hear the 'when in the course of human events' part by you because you have a nice voice. No biggie. Glad we're still cool.
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Apr 21, 2019 03:05
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Thanks. I was impressed. 
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Apr 21, 2019 03:07
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EorayMel posted:Oh fine how about this: https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/fukthapolis
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Apr 21, 2019 03:07
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Oh my loving god wait I just remembered, OP you know about Miranda Leak's Twisted, yes? If you don't, it is a novel about were-rollercoasters. Yes, you read that correctly. quote:I went to the back of the bar where my car was parked and started to fiddle with my keys. My hands shook terribly, making me drop them to the pavement. Before I could pick them up, a cat ran from under my car and snatched the keys with his mouth. He then vanished into the darkness. I looked up thinking what next and saw the moon. I think this salvages the previous one not being up to your standards
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Apr 21, 2019 03:09
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Thank you, this is majestic.
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Apr 21, 2019 03:17
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Ah! like gold fall the leaves in the wind, long years numberless as the wings of trees! The years have passed like swift draughts of the sweet mead in lofty halls beyond the West, beneath the blue vaults of Varda wherein the stars tremble in the song of her voice, holy and queenly. Who now shall refill the cup for me? For now the Kindler, Varda, the Queen of the Stars, from Mount Everwhite has uplifted her hands like clouds, and all paths are drowned deep in shadow; and out of a grey country darkness lies on the foaming waves between us, and mist covers the jewels of Calacirya for ever. Now lost, lost to those from the East is Valimar! Farewell! Maybe thou shalt find Valimar. Maybe even thou shalt find it. Farewell!
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Apr 21, 2019 03:22
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BTW did I mention those were-rollercoasters can also shoot lightning bolts and are incredibly murderous?quote:The chain caught Ironwheel and completely fixed him to the track, but I wasn’t through with that yet. I rotated around a few more times before using up all the chain and smacking back down at the lifthill’s top.
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Apr 21, 2019 03:24
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EorayMel posted:Actually no, here is this: https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/lmaocatjail
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Apr 21, 2019 03:27
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Vato posted:I was just thinking I'd like to hear the 'when in the course of human events' part by you because you have a nice voice. No biggie. Glad we're still cool. So are we talking a brief excerpt here then? Because I'm fine with that. I just don't want to get mired in reading a historical document (however brief, comparatively speaking) in its entirety. I'm not opposed to short excepts of serious poo poo though. E: gently caress it here's that particular excerpt from the Declaration of Indepence: https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/doi 
Honky Dong Country fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Apr 21, 2019 |
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Apr 21, 2019 03:34
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Holy poo poo I can’t stop laughing. You are truly doing the lord’s work.
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Apr 21, 2019 03:53
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EorayMel posted:Oh my loving god wait I just remembered, OP you know about Miranda Leak's Twisted, yes? https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/hmuat6flags
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Apr 21, 2019 03:56
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Zamboni Rodeo posted:Holy poo poo I can’t stop laughing. You are truly doing the lord’s work.
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Apr 21, 2019 03:59
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doverhog posted:Ah! like gold fall the leaves in the wind, https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/fantasyshit
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Apr 21, 2019 04:03
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EorayMel posted:BTW did I mention those were-rollercoasters can also shoot lightning bolts and are incredibly murderous? https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/yeratrainharry
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Apr 21, 2019 04:15
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moooooooooore
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Apr 21, 2019 04:15
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Honky Dong Country posted:moooooooooore  Here is something a fair bit different: Pastry of the Year posted:
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Apr 21, 2019 04:25
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gently caress it have more were roller coaster excerptsquote:I sat in the car, furious. I glared down at the rose in my hand. Frustrated I flung the rose to the passenger seat next to me. I started the engine and quickly backed out of her driveway, almost running into Clare’s mailbox. And an alternative one: quote:“Come on Railrunner!” Clare shouted without thinking. EorayMel fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Apr 21, 2019 |
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Apr 21, 2019 04:53
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read hegel you loving coward
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Apr 21, 2019 05:54
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EorayMel posted:
https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/pigswnoblanket
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Apr 23, 2019 03:08
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EorayMel posted:gently caress it have more were roller coaster excerpts https://soundcloud.com/user-641725526/thomascanthropy You a weird goon swimming in weird seas, EorayMel. Godspeed.
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Apr 23, 2019 03:17
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Trash Ops posted:read hegel you loving coward Suck my balls, bitch.
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Apr 23, 2019 03:18
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captain falcon woke up in the hospital. he was greeted buy everyones favorite doctro, dr. mario. falcon was gravy injured, his whole body wrapped bandages. "huh!" falcon said. "where am i?" "you're in the hospital, dumbass," dr. mario. "thank goodness that solid snake called, otherwise you and wario would have been deaded." "where's wario?" "he's in surgery," dr. mario said. "he just couldn't stop farting and making GBS threads all over the place." "can i gently caress him?!" falcon demanded. his cock was throbbing. "no, i'll gently caress you instead," dr. mario replied. "by the way, i'm not a real doctor." dr. mario pulled out his dick and started to gently caress captain falcon in the rear end in a top hat. they hosed all night long. wario's farting problem wasn't able to be solved and so he got out of surgery.
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Apr 23, 2019 03:23
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Putty posted:captain falcon woke up in the hospital. he was greeted buy everyones favorite doctro, dr. mario. falcon was gravy injured, his whole body wrapped bandages. No thanks Putty please bring something less terrible to the table, or at least so terrible that it's actually funny. HAha some video game characters farted and shidded and hosed each other, this is great stuff!
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Apr 23, 2019 03:24
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Honky Dong Country posted:Suck my balls, bitch. a slack jawed yokel fails before the dialectic
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Apr 23, 2019 03:30
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Trash Ops posted:a slack jawed yokel fails before the dialectic Either suggest something amusing or gently caress off
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Apr 23, 2019 03:34
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I remember a post way back in The Firing Range about a goon getting gifted a fully automatic FN FAL by his cousin('s wife) to help deal with deer infesting his farm, and talking about how political power flows down the barrel of a gun while you line up sights on a 60 year old battle rifle on a spotlighted deer flicking its big dumb ears staring at you, but I have lost the post. Alas... So instead have a story from a TCC goon about the dumb bitch that knocked the hookah over: I LIKE COOKIE posted:I've never witnessed a torch accident but this one time we were really drunk smoking hookah and some clumsy drunk girl knocked the hookah over and the hookah coal burned a hole completely through the wicker table it was on and started the carpet on fire. I mean that poo poo just burned through the wicker table like a hot knife through butter, it was fast as gently caress. The table barely put up any resistance it was like the hookah coal just fell straight through it. And the table was a good 3 inches thick too it wasn't no lovely paper thin wicker table. The carpet caught on fire pretty loving fast too and it was pretty drat scary. For a second I really thought the whole loving house was about to burn to the ground.
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Apr 23, 2019 03:42
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There is also this abridged post:RoboHusky posted:...
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Apr 23, 2019 03:47
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