heres a new supervillain i created: "the clowner"

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > heres a new supervillain i created: "the clowner"

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Manifisto

I am beginning to think that this "the clowner" may infringe on certain existing intellectual properties

which is only fitting, because the clowner does not give a gently caress about your ip rights, and he knows to stay out of courtrooms so he can't be sued

(also he is familiar with the little-known loophole in which the entire courtroom is declared "out of order")

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Apr 17, 2019 22:03

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:51

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

the Clowner is a staunch advocate of Fair Use

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Apr 17, 2019 22:28

joke_explainer

THE CLOWNER doesn't make jokes, because to him polite society is the joke.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 01:39

cda: by Hand Knit

joke_explainer posted:

THE CLOWNER doesn't make jokes, because to him polite society is the joke.

"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same. But really, there's nothing funny about this situation at all." - The Clowner

# ? Apr 18, 2019 03:32

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

three's no rule that says a clown can't play basketball

# ? Apr 18, 2019 04:40

Android Blues

After doing business deals with people, the Clowner kills the people. It's a commentary on how all transactions are vulnerable to a "clown" shooting you with a gun or melting you with acid or something like that. Like, how it's all bullshit, because a clown could kill you when you don't want to be killed by a clown.

It exposes polite society for the sham it is, because, like, anyone who was selling someone an abandoned warehouse or a shipment of expired cream pies could be murdered by a clown. Really, the true "clowns" are the people who engage in society and follow its idiotic rules. The Clowner sees that, which is why he melts people with acid when they sell him things. He's just opposed to the entire concept.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 09:03

Android Blues

Transactions? Bullshit. Wearing clothes that clowns don't wear, like a normal person would, so they aren't mistaken for a clown (a bad and funny thing to be)? Bullshit. A clown is as good a thing to look like as anything else, and in fact it's better, because other people hate it, which makes it good.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 09:05

Android Blues

Idea: the Clowner could have subordinates who are circus freaks, but like, they're hosed up and evil circus freaks, and they like to torture people and do BDSM to themselves. Like, you know society sneers at them because they physically look different from other people? They're horny about that, and they love doing torture because of it. They love scaring people with their non-conforming bodies.

It's sort of a statement on how people with serious congenital conditions affecting their physical appearance can see the truth about society, because like, it rejects them just like it does the Clowner for being a murderer who likes to wear white face paint.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 09:15

Karate Bastard

I always pictured The Clowner as more of a pastel kind of guy.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 11:48

Android Blues

Idea: the Clowner has a circus elephant but it's a big rotten circus elephant corpse animated by a mechanical gurney. And he does a laugh when it comes out, and it's like, "haha, I killed this elephant".

# ? Apr 18, 2019 11:52

Android Blues

Idea: the Clowner traps the hero in a Hall of Mirrors, but all the mirrors show hosed up and twisted poo poo, like one shows the hero shooting up drugs and another one shows him wearing clown make up, and maybe some of them just show like, porcelain dolls sitting in a circle, like, what? That's not a mirror. And the hero's like, "oh no, is that me? Is this a statement on what I am?".

I also have another idea about porcelain dolls where the Clowner could decorate his lair with them, but he doesn't clean or maintain the dolls. In fact, they look pretty hosed up, with cracks and matted hair and stuff, and they're wearing faded old clown costumes from the 70s. This is a good satire of society because porcelain dolls are valuable and resemble human children, so for a combination of financial and sentimental reasons, most people who own dolls would prefer that they were maintained in good condition. The Clowner knows that both caring about money and having positive emotions are herd mentality bullshit. He's here to pull the pacifier from our mouths and wake us up to the hard truths about when it's okay to own a lot of dirty dolls (always).

Android Blues fucked around with this message at 12:06 on Apr 18, 2019

# ? Apr 18, 2019 12:04

Karate Bastard

Uhh... Why is he matting their hair? What is he doing with the dolls?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 13:13

Dick Bastardly: Muttley is SKYNET!!!

Karate Bastard posted:

Uhh... Why is he matting their hair? What is he doing with the dolls?

Really hosed up clown stuff, but not the kind of stuff you'd expect a clown to do, but the kind of messed up stuff you subconsciously or maybe even consciously really enjoy thinking about clowns doing.

Super twisted anti-clown clown stuff that you're into but you know you shouldn't be, but you are because you're sick, you're deranged.

*honk* *honk*

Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

# ? Apr 18, 2019 14:27

joke_explainer

Android Blues posted:

I also have another idea about porcelain dolls where the Clowner could decorate his lair with them, but he doesn't clean or maintain the dolls.

well, this is a cool idea. But it�s incredibly difficult for THE CLOWNER to get a mortgage or even sign a lease

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:34

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

since when do people pay for lairs what are you even on about

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:36

Manifisto

Bo-Pepper posted:

since when do people pay for lairs what are you even on about

yeah even dr. no was sensible enough to lease his island

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Apr 18, 2019 16:50

Karate Bastard

Is The Clowner from a secret ninja village?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:23

Karate Bastard

Get this: I think The Clowner is actually from two secret ninja villages...!!!

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:43

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

The clowner is actually from infinite ninja villages. He always tells his ninja origin stort a different way. It is commentary on how we a society want there to just be one secret ninja village, but it is all a matter of perspective.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:47

Bonaventure: by sebmojo

MAYOR OF WALL STREET: [slipping on the high-powered executive brains underfoot his high-powered dress shoes as he backs away from THE CLOWNER] You won't get away with this...! You're nothing! Nothing but a -- a hosed up clown!!!

THE CLOWNER: I'm not a clown, mister mayor... I'm just a funhouse mirror... reflecting you ... the hosed up clown that is society.

[THE CLOWNER mirthlessly tears off the jaw of the MAYOR OF WALL STREET]

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Apr 18, 2019 17:50

Android Blues

Bonaventure posted:

MAYOR OF WALL STREET: [slipping on the high-powered executive brains underfoot his high-powered dress shoes as he backs away from THE CLOWNER] You won't get away with this...! You're nothing! Nothing but a -- a hosed up clown!!!

THE CLOWNER: I'm not a clown, mister mayor... I'm just a funhouse mirror... reflecting you ... the hosed up clown that is society.

[THE CLOWNER mirthlessly tears off the jaw of the MAYOR OF WALL STREET]

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:17

cda: by Hand Knit

Android Blues posted:

After doing business deals with people, the Clowner kills the people. It's a commentary on how all transactions are vulnerable to a "clown" shooting you with a gun or melting you with acid or something like that. Like, how it's all bullshit, because a clown could kill you when you don't want to be killed by a clown.

It exposes polite society for the sham it is, because, like, anyone who was selling someone an abandoned warehouse or a shipment of expired cream pies could be murdered by a clown. Really, the true "clowns" are the people who engage in society and follow its idiotic rules. The Clowner sees that, which is why he melts people with acid when they sell him things. He's just opposed to the entire concept.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:44

kalel

Bonaventure posted:

MAYOR OF WALL STREET: [slipping on the high-powered executive brains underfoot his high-powered dress shoes as he backs away from THE CLOWNER] You won't get away with this...! You're nothing! Nothing but a -- a hosed up clown!!!

THE CLOWNER: I'm not a clown, mister mayor... I'm just a funhouse mirror... reflecting you ... the hosed up clown that is society.

[THE CLOWNER mirthlessly tears off the jaw of the MAYOR OF WALL STREET]

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:44

cda: by Hand Knit

Android Blues posted:

Idea: the Clowner traps the hero in a Hall of Mirrors, but all the mirrors show hosed up and twisted poo poo, like one shows the hero shooting up drugs and another one shows him wearing clown make up, and maybe some of them just show like, porcelain dolls sitting in a circle, like, what? That's not a mirror. And the hero's like, "oh no, is that me? Is this a statement on what I am?".

I also have another idea about porcelain dolls where the Clowner could decorate his lair with them, but he doesn't clean or maintain the dolls. In fact, they look pretty hosed up, with cracks and matted hair and stuff, and they're wearing faded old clown costumes from the 70s. This is a good satire of society because porcelain dolls are valuable and resemble human children, so for a combination of financial and sentimental reasons, most people who own dolls would prefer that they were maintained in good condition. The Clowner knows that both caring about money and having positive emotions are herd mentality bullshit. He's here to pull the pacifier from our mouths and wake us up to the hard truths about when it's okay to own a lot of dirty dolls (always).

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:45

cda: by Hand Knit

Dick Bastardly posted:

Really hosed up clown stuff, but not the kind of stuff you'd expect a clown to do, but the kind of messed up stuff you subconsciously or maybe even consciously really enjoy thinking about clowns doing.

lmao

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Apr 18, 2019 18:46

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

samuel l jackson: "thats one hosed up clown"

# ? Apr 18, 2019 19:17

Karate Bastard

What music is The Clowner into? Do you think maybe he likes children's music? Or does he prefer music to be more grown-up?

# ? Apr 18, 2019 19:42

alnilam

Karate Bastard posted:

What music is The Clowner into? Do you think maybe he likes children's music? Or does he prefer music to be more grown-up?

alnilam posted:

acheck this out.... carnival calliope kind of music, but transposed into a minor key, so it's like a happy carnival, but scary also

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Apr 18, 2019 19:52

FutonForensic

The hero looks at a broken mirror in a grimy apartment bathroom. The broken mirror is a"reflection" of how The Clowner's hosed up poo poo has "broken" the hero, and the griminess of the bathroom is a "metaphor" for the hero being really grimy. He hasn't showered, because The Clowner did something that ruined showers for him.

The hero dips his fingers into a jar of facepaint. "To catch The Clowner," he murmurs as he sloppily spreads paint on his cheek, "I must become The Clowner, and to become The Clowner--" He's so bad at applying the makeup that he accidentally puts a fistful in his mouth, and he just swallows it because he's so broken (mirror), "--I must become The Clowner. Now I must do some hosed up things that most people won't like, but some people might like." He fakes a creepy laugh and swallows another load of paint.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 21:26

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

FutonForensic posted:

The hero looks at a broken mirror in a grimy apartment bathroom. The broken mirror is a"reflection" of how The Clowner's hosed up poo poo has "broken" the hero, and the griminess of the bathroom is a "metaphor" for the hero being really grimy. He hasn't showered, because The Clowner did something that ruined showers for him.

The hero dips his fingers into a jar of facepaint. "To catch The Clowner," he murmurs as he sloppily spreads paint on his cheek, "I must become The Clowner, and to become The Clowner--" He's so bad at applying the makeup that he accidentally puts a fistful in his mouth, and he just swallows it because he's so broken (mirror), "--I must become The Clowner. Now I must do some hosed up things that most people won't like, but some people might like." He fakes a creepy laugh and swallows another load of paint.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 21:40

kalel

FutonForensic posted:

The hero looks at a broken mirror in a grimy apartment bathroom. The broken mirror is a"reflection" of how The Clowner's hosed up poo poo has "broken" the hero, and the griminess of the bathroom is a "metaphor" for the hero being really grimy. He hasn't showered, because The Clowner did something that ruined showers for him.

The hero dips his fingers into a jar of facepaint. "To catch The Clowner," he murmurs as he sloppily spreads paint on his cheek, "I must become The Clowner, and to become The Clowner--" He's so bad at applying the makeup that he accidentally puts a fistful in his mouth, and he just swallows it because he's so broken (mirror), "--I must become The Clowner. Now I must do some hosed up things that most people won't like, but some people might like." He fakes a creepy laugh and swallows another load of paint.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 21:58

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

FutonForensic posted:

The hero looks at a broken mirror in a grimy apartment bathroom. The broken mirror is a"reflection" of how The Clowner's hosed up poo poo has "broken" the hero, and the griminess of the bathroom is a "metaphor" for the hero being really grimy. He hasn't showered, because The Clowner did something that ruined showers for him.

The hero dips his fingers into a jar of facepaint. "To catch The Clowner," he murmurs as he sloppily spreads paint on his cheek, "I must become The Clowner, and to become The Clowner--" He's so bad at applying the makeup that he accidentally puts a fistful in his mouth, and he just swallows it because he's so broken (mirror), "--I must become The Clowner. Now I must do some hosed up things that most people won't like, but some people might like." He fakes a creepy laugh and swallows another load of paint.

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:06

Android Blues

FutonForensic posted:

The hero looks at a broken mirror in a grimy apartment bathroom. The broken mirror is a"reflection" of how The Clowner's hosed up poo poo has "broken" the hero, and the griminess of the bathroom is a "metaphor" for the hero being really grimy. He hasn't showered, because The Clowner did something that ruined showers for him.

The hero dips his fingers into a jar of facepaint. "To catch The Clowner," he murmurs as he sloppily spreads paint on his cheek, "I must become The Clowner, and to become The Clowner--" He's so bad at applying the makeup that he accidentally puts a fistful in his mouth, and he just swallows it because he's so broken (mirror), "--I must become The Clowner. Now I must do some hosed up things that most people won't like, but some people might like." He fakes a creepy laugh and swallows another load of paint.

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:23

Farecoal: There he go

lol, you guys remember that's 50s comic with Clowner where he says "erection" a lot?? man things were so weird back then 😂

# ? Apr 18, 2019 22:57

cda: by Hand Knit

FutonForensic posted:

He hasn't showered, because The Clowner did something that ruined showers for him.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 01:40

Dick Bastardly: Muttley is SKYNET!!!

FutonForensic posted:

He hasn't showered, because The Clowner did something that ruined showers for him.

Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

# ? Apr 19, 2019 02:07

cda: by Hand Knit

Tbqh if I was an actor and they gave me a million dollars to be The Clowner I wouldn't do it. What if I liked it too much?

# ? Apr 19, 2019 02:28

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

cda posted:

Tbqh if I was an actor and they gave me a million dollars to be The Clowner I wouldn't do it. What if I liked it too much?

assuming it's not you, who would u cast as the clowner in a big budget movie called Hero Gets Clown'd

# ? Apr 19, 2019 02:32

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

who's this clown?

# ? Apr 19, 2019 03:15

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:51

kalel

Episode 1 of The Clowner saturday morning kids show:

In the first scene, we're introduced to The Clowner's marketable puppy sidekick, Frito. He's cute, he's cuddly and he's ready to terrorize the city with his owner and best pal. The Clowner, to show the audience how extremely messed up he is, gives Frito to a loving family in a nice home... In Cleveland. Frito will not be shown or mentioned for the remainder of the show's run.

End scene. Opening credits.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 05:37

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > heres a new supervillain i created: "the clowner"

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