Mrenda posted:

It's back to the drawing board for me. I was far too circumspect in what I was doing and in my whorl of language. That's fair, it was an entirely indulgent story where I left rip.

Seeing as there'll be no-one reading I figure it's ok to lay out some of the logic behind it. Madness is definitely a part of it. All the characters (bar maybe Donald, although he has his own issues in this world) have suffered a trauma or mental malady of some sort. It's not enough, or the trigger wasn't enough to cause acute issues, just the type of psychological tripping that pulls someone down slowly in a type of society where individual purpose is lost. The house is a place where everything is provided for them, somewhat a reflection on a society where if not UBI, then at least menial work is available for people who want more but can't achieve it. It's an experiment on what happens when a world is devoid of opportunity but basic comfort is provided for. All the characters have gone a little crazy from such a world (crazy like the awareness we now have of people's troubles in today's post-modern world.) The minutiae and shticks, as it was put, is the evidence of there being nothing more for the characters. They're living and experiencing the triviality of a world without possibility, much as I wanted the reader to.

This doesn't work as a book. So I'll just say thanks to everyone who gave it a go. I'll keep writing but I'll rein in my flights of fancy back to a more normal level in future.