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Escobarbarian
Jun 18, 2004


Grimey Drawer
The final season of Game of Thrones starts airing this Sunday on HBO!!!! Will Daenerys have her corpse pelted with poo poo? Will Jon learn the truth about his parents? Will the ghost of Tommen come back and haunt everyone until they kill themselves and let the ice baddies do whatever? Discuss any and all spoilery stuff here.

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banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004




Jamie's going to have sex with the big lady.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


i can't fuckin' wait for this poo poo to be OvEr gently caress you david and dan etc.

romanowski
Nov 10, 2012

i watched several episodes from seasons 5 & 6 today and was kinda stunned by how bad it was overall but hardhome is still extremely good. anyway my hopes aren't too high but as long as miguel sapochnik is directing a couple eps there will be parts worth watching

Escobarbarian
Jun 18, 2004


Grimey Drawer
re spoilers I believe there’s a recap of the premiere somewhere online

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

SHINee's back




It's in The Bad Thread if you truly wish to read it.

SimonChris
Apr 24, 2008

The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.
Grimey Drawer

esperterra posted:

It's in The Bad Thread if you truly wish to read it.

Could someone repost it in this thread? I mean, what's the point of a spoiler thread if there are no spoilers?

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 09:05 on Apr 13, 2019

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

SHINee's back




SimonChris posted:

Could someone repostit in this thread? I mean, what's the point of a spoiler thread if there are no spoilers?

Bobby Digital posted:


Opening : Jon and Dany arrive at Winterfell, with the Unsullied and the Dothraki; conversation between Varys and Tyrion]
So you have already seen the Unsullied and the Dothraki marching towards Winterfell, accompanied by Jon and Daenerys. You have already seen that they are going together with the dragons, you have seen the locals, the northerners being absolutely scared. You have already seen those troops crossing Winter Town, that small town, that small village let’s say, to the outskirts of Winterfell. You have already seen a child that climbs up in a house on one side to look the troops passing, doing a tribute to Bran in the first season. You have already seen Arya and Sansa, amazed by the two dragons of Daenerys. Of course! You already know this and you also know that there is an arrival of troops to Winterfell, and in fact you have even seen the reception of those troops. But which are the two characters that accompany normally Jon and Daenerys? There are two characters who have been accompanying them for a long time and they act as counselors! These two characters are Varys and Tyrion! Varys and Tyrion have had interesting and revealing conversations during the previous seasons. Varys and Tyrion were concerned about the mental state of Daenerys. Why? Because Daenerys, for example, burned the Tarlys, and one of the things that we are going to see is how Daenerys has to talk to Sam and tell him that she has burned his father and his brother, for example! And we have to know how Sam will react to this news. Well, I can not imagine Varys and Tyrion on horseback. I imagine them more sitting on a wagon, talking among themselves, making funny little jokes, and there is one thing that distinguishes Varys from Tyrion: is an argument about something physical and is not about the height. You know that Tyrion has testicles and Varys no. And why not talk about that topic? And why not to do some joke at respect? I'll just let this fall right here, and who knows maybe we have some of that…
[Next scene: Jon/Bran reunion]
And arriving at Winterfell there is, already, a highly anticipated meeting, among the various meetings that are going to occur. And this is the meeting between John and Bran! How do you think they are going to react? Well! In a very stereotypical way, you know that Bran has been transformed to a cold guy, a cold squid, a squid like this: Harrr! [a typical sound he makes throughout the video] Jon will see him, and he will really give a hug. Of course, it turns out that when Jon saw Bran for the last time, he was a boy and now a slacker (= bigardo), a bigardo, is a teenager bigardo in a wheelchair. How Jon could react? He could react by telling him “how much you have grown! You are a man!”, things like those that would tell you your very grandmother, for example. After summer, you can remember, you go to see your grandmother, after the summer, and you are a teenager. When you are a teenager you grow up like a demon and she would tell you “how much you have grown!!!” Well, it that: “how much have you grown. You are a man.”
[Next scene: Sansa receives Dany; there is a bit of tension between them]
After that, come more presentations. Come that scene with Jon and Daenerys, that scene that you have already seen in the trailer footage, in the outside of Winterfell. And of course, it is up to Sansa to deliver Winterfell to Daenerys. And, apparently, she is not going to do it eagerly. You have already seen that face that she makes and what you have seen that when Jon hugs Sansa, she looks up and sees Daenerys. All this, you have it already “located” as there are images already. And Daenerys approaches, and she [Sansa] tells her that “Winterfell is yours”. Daenerys, of course, wants to ingratiate with Sansa, Daenerys realizes that Sansa, argh, hmmm hhhh [uncomfortable sounds], sitting regularly as she is present there. And, of course, what Daenerys is going to do? Well, talk about whatever, how nice is the North, the North is very beautiful, the North and its people, eh? Trying to ingratiate herself, telling thins like: How beautiful you are, Sansa, I see you very well, I see you are very good… I do not know, she could tell her thing like: You are as beautiful as the North… Things of that kind, to try to ingratiate, although Sansa, mmmm, I tell you: she [Sansa] is acting normal and she does not think highly of the presentation of Daenerys.
[Next scene: Bran informs everyone about the NK, and they decide to have a Great Northern Assembly]
And, of course, in the middle of all these presentations, it seems that there is a character that is in a hurry, that wants the things to move as they are there entertained in the patio. And of course who can be the character that wants to put a little bit of hurry to the others? Well, in this time is Bran. Bran is the one that is in a hurry, because he has to inform them that the Wall has fallen, and not only about the Wall, but also that the Night King has a dragon! So, the danger begins and this is deserves what? It deserves a great Northern Assembly, as only the northerners know how to do, so we go to the great to the great Northern Assembly and in that great Assembly there in the center: On one side Sansa on the other side Daenerys, and she [Sansa] has to introduce Daenerys [to the Assembly]. But, of course, there are many other issues to attend…
[Next scene: the Great Northern Assembly, tension between the Northerners, Lyanna Mormont openly criticizes Jon's decision to bend the knee; Jon claims that they need allies; the Northeners learn about the supposed Lannister troops; Tyrion defends Cersei]
And we must see what is the state of the troops, and which two Houses had to swear allegiance to the Starks? Well, as you already know, the Karstarks and the Umbers. So we have the little Jon Umber that is there, we have seen him in the last season, is a kid, a little boy, and the little Jon does not really have much to offer because, because he does not have many troops, he does not have many men. The North is very decimated, and what is the concern that Jon has, apart from all this, the troops, well, his concern is to warn everyone with crows that arrives the threat of the Night King. That the Night King has crossed the Wall, since the Night King has his own dragon, but, of course, there sits Daenerys with an empty face in the Northern Assembly. How the Northerners react? Because they do not react in a very simple way, why? Why among the northerners there is a character that has much more character than the rest and that character is Lady Mormont. There are some of you who call her Lady Bear. And of course, that Lady Bear had a lot to do with the election of Jon as King in the North, and suddenly this little stupid has found that Jon is accompanied by Daenerys. Therefore, that little stupid how would react? Well, she will tell Jon that “they chose him, not to forget that we choose you, that we did not choose Daenerys. And that your function is to be the King in the North, that he has to govern the North.” But of course, what could Jon tell her? Well, that we need Daenerys to face the threat of the White Walkers, that we need allies because Jon is very obsessed with that issue of gathering allies, allies. He only wants allies, and his greatest ally not only, let’s say diplomatically but also in love, right now is Daenerys! And it is clear that they will need all kinds of help! And which character promised help last season? Well, Cersei Lannister! Cersei Lannister promised to help them, she promised that she was going to send the Lannister troops to help fight the Night King. And.. [suspicious pause] Right there, there is a Lannister! A Lannister that we have mentioned a little by now at the beginning of this video. And this Lannister is: Tyrion! Because, of course, Tyrion Lannister is the one who actually spoke with Cersei to arrange this help, and, of course, what can Tyrion do during that Assembly? Well, talk nice about Jon, say well, “the King in the North is a great guy, is very nice and also my sister is going to send us the Lannister troops. My sister will help us by sending troops.” All of you already know that is not going to be that such troops will arrive, but Tyrion, right, is supposed that he is convinced that Cercei will send the troops, although many of know that Tyrion this season is a great traitor, so this that he is saying that “my sister will send troops, my sister will send troops” you already know that it is going to be a lie! There will not be those Lannister troops. And how will the Northerners react to the announcement of Tyrion that Cersei will send troops? In a very simple waym by saying: “Lannister troops in the North! How will Lannister troops come to the North! No no!” And what will Jon do? Well, “man we need allies, we need all that help, even from the Lannisters”. And the assembly ends with the moods a little bit altered and with the protests of Sansa that “I can not believe not only bring you bring Daenerys to the North, but it seems that the Lannister troops will come as well”.
[Next scene: Sansa talks with Tyrion; Tyrion defends Cersei; Friki implies that this is a farce]
So, then this whole incident, in this great Northern Assembly, has to have a reaction, eh, because you know this is going to be the first of many assemblies to come, that they are going to have to gather to plan many things, and what reactions these? Well, because Sansa, after hearing that Tyrion says that Lannister troops will come, she has to talk with Tyrion. Because, remember, that Tyrion and Sansa have been married. And I say, they have been married, because many say that they are still married. I remind you that this is an unconsummated marriage. An unconsummated marriage is not a valid marriage. Therefore for practical purposes, even if they were married, an uncompleted marriage is not a valid marriage. It is not equivalent a divorce, but this is were the talk is concentrated. And, of course, Sansa thinking of Lannister in the North speaks with Tyrion. And she can ask him? Well, she can ask, let’s see “you really believe that your sister will send troops in the North? Do you trust your sister?” And, of course, Tyrion, actually he knows Cersei, but, of course, as Cersei is pregnant, as Cersei is going to have a child, Cersei is going to have a descendant, an heir, well, Tyrion could think that Cersei has something to fight for. That is this heir, this descendant. For which he will try to calm Sansa, will try to make her see that his sister has changed to a certain way, and he knows very well why. Because she has an heir. But all this is a farce, is a pantomime, because neither Cersei has changed, nor the plan has changed, nor they are going to receive any Lannister troops. But the appearances need to be maintained, and Tyrion is left to defend the pact he made with his sister, although this is a false pact. He has to tell to Sansa that yes, the troops will arrive, and that he trusts his sister.
[Next scene: Jon/Arya reunion; emotional; they talk about their weapons; Jon asks Arya to help him with Sansa and Dany]
But, of course, the scene at Winterfell could lead to many reunions, and which is one of the most anticipated reunions? The reunion between Jon and Arya! Jon and Arya they see each other, Jon and Arya hug with a lot of warmth. You already know that Jon has a soft spot for Arya. So they meet, they look at each other, both have changed a lot, but there is one thing that Arya has that hasn’t change! And that is: Needle! Aguja [needle in Spanish], her famous sword, a sword that Jon gave her as gift. And, of course, Jon was worried about Arya when he gave her the Needle and gave her the advice to “stick them with the pointy end”. eh? “with the pointy end” [in English now], and there they are! And now Jon has a weapon that he didn’t have before, eh, he has the Longclaw, a Valyrian steel sword. So they start showing their weapons, “Look! I have Longclaw that is Valyrian steel”, “Look! I have Needle”. Of course, Jon will certainly ask her: “hhmmm, let’s see, have you used this sword?” and Arya will go like “well, yes, maybe a couple of times”, well for just to say something. You know, it was more than a couple, but OK, hmmm, ehhh, what would you say to your brother when he doesn’t know that you are a bloody assassin??? You might say “yeah from time to time I use it, a couple of times, a couple of punctures”… And this small reunion might give rise to a certain trick from Jon’s part, as he perfectly knows that Sansa does not like Daenerys, and of course. He is with Arya! Hehehe, therefore I, hmmmm [hesitates a bit] if I had Arya there… What would you do? Well, ask her to interfere a little bit for Daenerys, to ask her to help him a bit with the Sansa-Daenerys matter, help me [i.e. Jon] so Sansa likes a bit more Daenerys, help a bit, speak nicely of her [Dany], well, help me so that these two [Sansa and Dany] fit well together, otherwise this will crumble down like Aurora’s rosario [i.e., things will end badly, a Spanish expression].
[Next scene: King's Landing; Qyburn knows everything and informs Cersei; Cersei is happy how things are going in the North]
And while all this is happening at Winterfell, which is the other point of interest? Well, without any doubt: King’s Landing! Have we seen King’s Landing in the trailer? Yes! We have seen a Cersei and Qyburn in this high, let’s say, rooftop of the Red Keep watching the arrival of the Greyjoy fleet that transports the Golden Company! But, of course, at this point who is the one that takes care of all information in King’s Landing? Well, Qyburn, Qyburn, it is not strange that Qyburn at this point already knows that the Night King has crossed the Wall and that he has a dragon. And it is not strange to tell that to Cersei. And when Cersei finds out, what do you believe that she will think? She will like that or not? Apparently she will like it, because you already now Cersei’s plan, that is best if they kill each other up there [in the North] and that when that decimated day will arrive, I [Cersei] will come to kill them.
[Next scene: Greyjoys; Euron only thinks to arrive to KL and gently caress Cersei; Golden Company arrives; no elephants]
So Qyburn can inform Cersei about what has happened beyond the Wall, that the Wall has fallen and the Night King has arrived, and she will will think that this is phenomenal, and fantastic. And there is the Greyjoy fleet with Euron Greyjoy, and who does he have as a prisoner Euron Greyjoy, a prisoner [using the female form in Spanish] better said? Yara Greyjoy. And clearly and by now you know that she is defiant, and we know from different rumors and other leaks that have found that she will not be killed by Euron, because she was already in Tyrion’s trial. Well, Yara, this attractive [= chulita], defiant will speak with Euron, in those kind of talks that the Greyjoys have: [exchanging lines between Euron and Yara] “Why you do not kill me, already”, “I will not kill you yet”, “Why not?” “Because you are my family I'm not going to kill you now”, this or the other, I do not know. So you know, how good those family talks of the Greyjoys are, so peaceful and so nice [ironically]. And of course you already know that Euron is also very dirty minded and what is his objective? Well, obviously to get to the King’s Landing for what? So that he can sleep with the Queen using Euron’s vulgar and teesy language to gently caress the queen. And those are his intentions that he might be telling to Yara: “Yes, I want to reach King’s Landing to gently caress the Queen!” Will he succeed? Good now, I will tell you if it is possible or not. The case is, that the troops arrive! The Golden Company arrives, led by Harry Strickland. And we go to the throne room, because Euron has to present Harry Strickland to Cersei, as the leader of the Golden Company. Then, Harry Strickland arrives there, and then Euron introduces the Golden Company with all its forces: twenty thousand men, two thousand knights, eh, and two thousand horses, eh, and of course here is a little problem, hmmm… What we have been all expecting from the Golden Company? What do we all expect? Elephants! but in fact, in a direct surprise that I made with Acevedo during our criticism. I told you that in the trailer I thought I have seen an elephant, and then, however, in the analysis of the trailer, I did not say that, I did not say it, I did not tell you about the elephant. And many of the comments you made were about the elephant: “where is the elephant, I do not see it”, “the elephant!”. I'll be honest, I did not say that again to you because after reviewing the images a thousand times it turns out that there was no elephant. I did not see it. I thought I saw it, but then, after seeing that edited version of that Lord of Light version of the trailer, I did not see the elephant. And this has left me very worried, because you know what? You know what? That the golden company comes without the elephants! It seems that elephants do not fit in the ships, it seems that the golden company is not going to bring the elephants. You will be now: “Out! Out! Lie! how they are going to bring the elephants? Well, I tell you, do not expect to see them hehehe [laughs] I tell you that if I was Cersei, and I personally would be very angry to find out that the Golden Company comes without the elephants. It would give me so much anger, so much anger, that I would not stop repeating it!. But “how are they going to be without elephants?” Well, that's what I say on the matter. Well they did not enter in the ship of [incomprehensible]. Elephants and the Golden Company, hmmmm, friends, I tell you that no… There will be no elephants with the Golden Company. Well, the case is that we need to say farewell to Harry Strickland.
[Next scene: Euron goes to bed with Cersei; Cersei is still unhappy that the elephants did not arrive]
Cersei is still angry and you've already seen what Euron Greyjoy has to sleep with the Queen. And Euron has brought the Golden Company. Euron has fulfilled his part of the deal, Euron is the taxi driver of the sea. And now it is up to Cersei to fulfill [her part of the deal]. Cersei has to give to Euron what he is looking for. And Euron is looking to go to bed with her. Will he get it? The answer that he will get is, apparently, yes, because if not, Cersei is not going to always have Euron by her side, if she will not go to bed with him. So after doing the trawl, Cersei and Euron end up in bed! And I've told you before, that if I was Cersei, and if I had to sleep with Euron to keep him happy, I would have to remind him after having slept with him that he has not brought the elephants. And also for me [speaking as Cersei], the experience would be a bit traumatic and it would remind me of those times when I was forced to sleep with Robert and I did not really want to.
[Next scene: Theon rescues Yara; he asks permission to return to WF and help the Starks; Theon and his men, bearing Theon's sigil, take part in the defense of WF]
But, of course, the issue with the Greyjoys does not end there, because you already know, quite accurately, that Theon ends up taking a rescuing mission to save Yara. And, also, this has to be soon in order to fit in the plot. And you know that there is a scene that the Watchers on the Wall told us, in which they saw Alfie Allen [aka Theon] with Gemma Whelan [aka Yara] shooting together without Euron. And that scene seems to fit perfectly in the first chapter, why? Because Yara is now on one of those Greyjoy ships of Euron, Theon goes with his own ships that you have seen in the trailer, because they do not have the red dot that characterizes the kraken of Euron. And Theon is in charge of rescuing Yara in a quick rescuing operation. And, of course, for Theon his sister is the Queen but he [Theon] has an commitment. Theon is in debt to the Starks. So that you know also from the information of that extra that was in the battle of Wintefell, that extra [fortsam? incomprehensible]. We know that Theon [he mistakenly said Euron in the video] participates in the defense in Winterfell, as already we have seen pictures of dolls dressed as Greyjoys, and dead dolls of dead Greyjoys. But Greyjoys with the sigil of Theon. So Theon, after rescuing Yara, and that now, for Theon himself, she is the maximum authority that there is in the Iron Islands. As, we might say, he wants to remove that thorn, he asks permission to his sister, which for him is the real queen, he asks permission and tells her: [as Theon] “Ay, if you could let me go and help the Starks” And, of course, Yara, she cannot deny such a thing after everything that has happened. So, it is confirmed, you will see Theon at the defense of Winterfell. A thing that, if you are the most loyal watchers [of this channel] you already know.
[Next scene: Davos, Tyrion, and Varys as advisors, they know about Jonerys; Love is in the air; No Jonsa; Karstark troops arrive]
We return to Wintefell, because, because, they have to organize a lot of troops. They have to organize things. And there are three advisors, three advisors who are there simultaneously. These three advisors are: Davos, Tyrion, and Varys. And these three advisors know about the romantic situation between Jon and Daenerys. And I am very much afraid that this episode will be a torment for lovers of Jonsa, for lovers of romance between Jon and Sansa, because what they are going to see scenes where Jon and Daenerys are in love, that they are in love, the people around them note that, the love is in the air. Let’s go!, eh! They are all watching how this romance is growing progressively. Of course, and which troops are missing? Well the troops of the Karstarks are missing that will arrive.
[Next scene: Jon and Dany approach the dragons that have been hunting in the surroundings of WF; Dany continues with the #ridethedragonchallenge and Jon mounts Rhaegal; they both fly; when they land they share a passionate kiss]
And we have to talk as well about the dragons. Because we have already seen in the trailer that image in which the dragons are in a more secluded area of Winterfell, and there are animal bones. Because of course the dragons eat animals, eat 20, 20 goats. It was a huge amount of meat. And you have to have under control. And, of course, the Dothraki already know the dragons, some of the Dothraki have seen the dragons since childhood, and the Dothraki are having the responsibility to inform Daenerys about what the dragons are doing. And after, we will watch that mythical scene that you have already seen in the trailer, in which Jon and Daenerys approach the dragons. Daenerys to Drogon and Jon to Rhaegal. And of course that scene in which Jon and Daenerys approach the dragons, leads to what? You right now in your house you say “I know, I already know!” Well, it gives rise to what we have talked this Saturday. Last Saturday we talked about that scene in the event “Kings of the West” in the bookshop “Akira Comics” to which some of you could attend. With Javi Marcos and with Neville SmileHD we made some jokes. We made a little jokes about it was a good time to do those scenes of “how to train your dragon”. That is to say that it gives rise to the “master class” [in English] of Daenerys. Daenerys will mount on Dragon and will tell to Jon: “mount on Rhaegal” “Go, come on, mount him” And Jon is overwhelmed. Haarr. Like “how I'm going to ride a dragon, if I do not know how to ride a dragon?” But in reality, that does not matter. Who knows how to ride a dragon well? Only two people: Daenerys and the Night King are the only ones who have experience in Westeros of riding dragons. And right there she is telling Jon to mount him. And Jon Harrrr Hurrrr, tries to mount the dragon. It took several attempts to climb on the dragon. And now, and now how it starts? It has no keys, it does not have anything, how it works? Well, what can be done with a dragon? Well, with a dragon you can actually do what you want. But, of course, from that moment the thing is not difficult, the thing is simple. The thing is that Jon and Daenerys each one starts flying with its dragon. Jon turns around “I will fall, I will not fall, I go up, I go down, I do not control the dragon so well”. Drogon goes near him as well. Then they land and after many emotions, after so much stress, how this scene can finish? Obviously with a passionate kiss, a kiss between Jon and Daenerys! This scene will make the Jonsas to melt in their houses and the Jonsa fans will see their hopes dissolved as sugar.
[Next scene: Arya/Gendry and Arya/Hound reunions; Gendry has been forging weapons; Gendry tries to please everyone by customizing their weapons; Gendry makes a dragonglass axe for the Hound; Arya asks for a spear with (probably) her Valyrian steel dagger; Arya meets the Hound; the Hound says little bitch, ; Gendry calls her "my lady" and she doesn't like that; there is some sexual tension, Gendrya]
And we are left, well, with many reunions. And you already know that this first episode lasts a bit more than 50 minutes, and they have to fit everything. Therefore, which reunions remain: Arya with the Hound, for example. Arya with Gendry! You have already seen in the trailer that Arya certainly meets with Gendry in the smithy, you have seen, there are the images. Actually, Gendry is there, it there hammering, is there organizing, forging weapons of dragonglass, forges this one, the other. And, of course, each character has, a little bit, its preferences, and Gendry is trying to please everyone. For example, what kind of weapon the Hound might want? What kind of weapon the Hound might able to handle well? Well the Hound, maybe, who knows, maybe, could handle an axe but of dragonglass! And Gendry makes him an axe of dragon glass! Eh! And Arya? What kind of weapon she might want? Well, in the trailer, I am very scared, I have seen a scene, you too have seen it, where Arya was using a kind of rod, a kind of spear. But it seems that there is something different in its point. I told you that my theory was that this the dragonglass dagger that Arya has [I think that he means the Valyrian steel dagger that Arya has] could be used as in a different way. Could be used as a throwing spear for example. To do that, it would have to modify it. And for that, I fear, that she might have to ask Gendry to modify the dagger so it stays on the spear or on a stick, so she could transform this dagger to a weapon that could reach longer. In a way that she could use it to defend against her enemies by keeping her distance. And you have see in the trailer Area wielding this weapon, that weapon modified by Gendry! And what would happen when Arya meets with the Hound? Well, the Hound with throw in her face, he will tell her in the face that she left him there to die, although he asked her to kill him. And she left, leaving him to die there. “Al libre albedrío” [A Spanish/Latin expression meaning kind of “on his free will”] Because there she behaved like a “little bitch” [in English], like a little bitch and she did not listen to him and kill him. But, of course, now he is alive. And we know that these two were going to meet again. And of course, Gendry and Arya, have left some unfinished business. You know already that, for some strange reason, Gendry has the habit to call Arya “my Lady” [in English]. And when he sees her, he calls her again “my Lady” [in English]. And Arya gets angry that he keeps calling her “my lady”. And that Arya she is now sure quite sure of herself, that she is not the same, she is no longer a little girl and that she has changed. Maybe, we perceive some sexual tense between Gendry and Arya, the famous Gendrya. My Lady here, My Lady there. [Arya speaking] “do not call me my lady anymore”. And who knows is in the end, maybe we are going to have a problem there. The truth is that is quite cool, is quite cool, that suddenly Arya appears with her Valyrian steel dagger, and she shows it to Gendry, who knows very well the Valyrian steel, and he says “Ahh Valyrian steel!” But she says “No no, forge it that way, on a rod, like this, like that, with a qroquis, with a drawing, with something. And he [Gendry] says that “I will going to improve that, I will make a weapon with longer reach”, and later this serves Arya to cut here and there the White Walkers.
[Next scene: Sansa keeps being annoying; she confronts Jon about bending the knee for love]
But, of course, life goes on in Winterfell, as after this first Northern Assembly, Jon has to talk to Sansa and you already know that the political conversations between Jon and Sansa do not go so well. Because Sansa always has the feeling that he does not listen to her, and that Sansa’s compromise is with the North, and that Sansa’s compromise it to remind Jon that he is the King in the North. And that he has to fight for the North. And that he has presented a foreign Queen. But, of course, Jon on the other hand has to make Sansa see that they need allies and that right now their most loyal ally is Daenerys! But, of course, remember that talk between Littlefinger and Sansa, when Sansa finds out that Jon has bent the knee to Daenerys, and that cannot stay in the air. As she has to ask Jon to explain this [decision to bend the knee] she needs to ask the following. She needs to ask the following: “Let’s see, Jon, I see you so sweet with Daenerys, and you have bent the knee. But you are telling me about the allies. You are telling me that you need that this Queen comes to the North. You are telling me all this, but let’s see. You have bent the knee for what? You have bent the knee for the North or you bent the knee for love?” And what do you think? Jon puts a face of Haarrr [surpised]. “For the North or for Love” I say to you: [he is like] Pure Jonerys!
[Next scene: Sam/Dany reunion; Jorah as the intermediate; talk about the Greyscale cure; Dany informs Sam that she burned his father and brother; Sam is devastated but does not confront Dany]
And before I told you very fleetingly of another reunion, the reunion between Sam Tarly and Daenerys. Because, of course, Daenerys has fell upon no more no less Randyll Tarly and Dickon Tarly, the father and brother of Samwell. Of course, at some moment, Daenerys would have to face Sam and tell him that, but which the character that is the link between Samwell and Daenerys? Well, no other than Sir Jorah Mormont, Sir Friendzone, because you have already seen that Samwell Tarly cured Sir Jorah from the Greyscale. And Sir Jorah Mormont will go to talk with Daenerys and tell her that this was this Samwell Tarly, Daenerys knows that Samwell Tarly has saved Jorah from Greyscale. “So you have cured him?” “yes, of course, I study a lot these old things, I read old scrolls, I cut here I cut there and I cured him” Of course. “But you are Samwell Tarly, no?” “Yes, yes, yes” “Son of Randyll Tarly” “Yes, yes, yes” “Brother of Dickon Tarly? I have to tell you something”. And Samwell, haarrr, [As Sam] “Ay, the Queen would like to tell me something, what kind of a surprise will be?” [As Daenerys] “Let’s see, I tell you that, it happened that I told your father to bend, to bend the knee. And what your father did? He didn’t bend the knee. He didn’t, he didn’t… And what did I have to do afterwards? Well, I barbecued him” [Sam] “Haarrr. Well, he was my father, well, I was not getting along well with him” [Dany] “Yes, but you brother Dickon did not want [to bend the knee] as well” Barbecue! Poom! “I killed Dickon!” And that hurts a Samwell, he is devastated, and the tears fall down his eyes, because in the end Daenerys has killed his father and brother. But Sam is so noble, such a good guy, so pure. Imagine the situation, what would you had done in his position? You would have killed her, you would want to grab her by her hair, scratch her, rash! rash! take out her eyes, that you killed my family, And Samwell what does he do? “Many thanks for telling me! Thanks for telling me!” he tells her! Of course, after that revelation Samwell remains frustrated and obfuscated, comes out the backyard. Harrrr. [As Sam] “I wish a horse could hit me, and yes and no, Haarrr, my head is confused, what can I do, let’s go and talk to Bran”.
[Next scene: Bran talks with Sam; Bran gives Sam the task to tell Jon about his origins; Jon is in the crypts; Sam tell him the truth about his origins; Jon is surprised; cliffhanger there]
And Bran in this episode, you know, wants to hurry everyone, wants to keep things marching, [as Bran] “come Sam, we have to do things, the Night King is coming”. But OK, what kind of pending issue Bran and Sam have? They have a task, and this task is to go and tell Jon about his origins. Tell Jon about his origins. And you already know, the Watchers on the Wall told us, that in the first episode there is a mysterious and secret scene in the first episode in the crypts with Sam and someone else. And it was speculated that that other character was Tyrion. It was speculated that that other character was Arya. But it turns out that there is not going to be neither. It turns out that is Jon, pondering in the crypts there, in front of Ned’s statue, thinking there. And, of course, Bran gets in the middle and leaves the “hot plate” to Samwell. Samwell is in charge to tell Jon about his origins. So Samwell goes down to the crypts still dismayed by the dislike that he carries. Then Jon sees him arriving sweaty and disengaged and asks him “what happened Samwell, why I see you so strange, so bad” and Samwell is like “I just found out that Daenerys has burnt my father and my brother”. And Jon is left amazed. Jon did not know, is left like harrr, and Samwell tells like “man, I see you and Daenerys are like, yes and no [insinuating their romance] but sometimes Daenerys crosses the limits, she crosses the limits with some things”. And, of course, Jon is left there thinking and he says again that we need allies, because he is repeating this thing with the allies, and he bent the knee to her, and she is the Queen. And that I am no longer the King in the North. And she is in command now. But Sam sees him like that, he just found out this news [about his father and brother?], and what Sam could say? And Sam is like “All is OK, for me is the same about the Night King, about the other, about that [like, all the other pressing issues that they face], but this Daenerys Targaryen does not have to be the Queen, you should be the King, because, well, I am going to tell you a few things. Because your mother is Lyanna Stark.” And Jon is Haaarrr. “And because you father is not Ned Stark” Haaarrr “Because your father is Rhaegar Targaryen, your father is Rhaegar Targaryen” Haaarrr!!! and Jon is like hirrrrg. “and I will not tell you only that. On top of that your name is Aegon Targaryen”. And Jon is like “but how”, gets closer to Sam, haaarrr haaaar “my father was the noblest man there is, he would never” [Sam] “Yes, yes, because he had to protect you, because he knew that you are a Targaryen, because if not, if King Robert would find out who you are, King Robert would kill you” and [pretending to be a shocked Jon] “I cannot believe that, I cannot believe that”. [Sam again] “And you are the legitimate heir of the Seven Kingdoms, and you are the Kind of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm. Protector of the Realm, you are the bloody King of the Seven Kingdoms [in English]” And you see that Jon thought that Daenerys is the Queen but Sam is telling him that she should not, and instead he should be [the King]. And they leave us there, in the crypts. All this is left hanging there. Well, I am afraid that they must leave something for the second chapter. And this resolution cannot be in the same chapter that Jon learns about his origins. And reacts with negation, he reacts thinking “how is possible that my father, of course my father Ned Stark the most honorable man in all Westeros, has lied to me like that. I knew nothing” Well, well, I tell you that they leave this hanging there. Jon desperate, and Daeneys is not the Queen. And what is left?
[Final scene: Berric, Tormund and Edd are at CB; they discover symbols from the WW on the walls of a building; the NK arrives mounted on Viserion; the CB will fall]
Well, you need to remember the trailer and you need to remember that image of Berric, Tormund and Dolorous Edd in a castle. And which is the castle? And this castle is Castle Black, Castle Black, Castle Black, because, of course you know that Barric and Tormund made it alive from Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, if not they would have not been there [in the trailer] and they head towards Caste Black. People in the Night’s Watch are nervous, they receive them and they have a reunion with Dolorous Edd to communicate what you already know. You know that the Wall has fallen, the Army of the Night King has crossed, and that the Night King has a dragon. Dolorous [Edd] is terrified, is desperate, and suddenly they start to walk in different places of the Castle Black. But there is a surprise! When the Wall fell, something has happened to the Castle Black! Something has changed, something has happened to the Castle Black. When they reach a building, and in this building maybe there are weird symbols on the walls. Maybe there is something, there is a message from the Night King! And they leave us like that with our asses twisted. Because there are mystical drawings. There are things, there are figures, strange figures, cabalistic, those figures that the White Walkers make. And in the Castle Black they are left there, Berric, Dolorous Edd, when they see that they just realize that the Night King has left a mysterious message. Of course, but in the middle of all this intrigue, in the middle of all this intrigue, what is the preoccupation of all these characters? Well, to inform the people at Winterfell, they have to send ravens, they have to inform the people at Winterfell. They do not know that the people of Winterfell, actually, through Bran the people at Winterfell already have all the information. They do not know that even Cersei knows already what happened. But OK, Javi Marcos already told you a spoiler, Javi Marcos already told you a leak, Javi Marcos already told us a revelation. And this revelation is that in the middle of the troops of the Night King there will be many brothers of the Night’s Watch! And how this episode will end? With the arrival of the Night King, mounting Viserion [at CB]. Surely the Castle Black will fall to the Night King. He arrives at the Castle Black with his troops. There you have it, more or less, the first chapter of the eighth season of the Game of Thrones.

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004




can someone post it in a format that isnt complete unreadable poo poo

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

SHINee's back




banned from Starbucks posted:

can someone post it in a format that isnt complete unreadable poo poo

I'm sure /tv/ or reddit has some kinda roundup of it but :effort:

Escobarbarian
Jun 18, 2004


Grimey Drawer

banned from Starbucks posted:

can someone post it in a format that isnt complete unreadable poo poo

Basically just read the one-line recap at the beginning of every scene, that’s what I did

It’s basically a standard GoT season premiere with a lot of talking and not a lot of interesting poo poo from what I can tell

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die
Grimey Drawer
Did a schizophrenic write that?

romanowski
Nov 10, 2012

PostNouveau posted:

Did a schizophrenic write that?

I think it's a transcription of a spanish dude talking about the episode

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

SHINee's back




Yeah, the source is the Spanish subtitle dude who spoiled seasons 6 and 7.

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die
Grimey Drawer
Wow they should stop hiring him to subtitle the show

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
Ahhh, Dick, or some say, Dickon... do you watch our walls?

Darko
Dec 23, 2004

Wait, does that weird rear end summary say people were shipping Jon and Sansa?

Serpente
Dec 3, 2017

Came for the tits. Stayed for the dragons. Waiting for dragon tits.

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

SHINee's back




Darko posted:

Wait, does that weird rear end summary say people were shipping Jon and Sansa?

Jonsa is a thing yes

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
Here's what I'm guessing based on the presumption that GRRM really did have absolute say over the ending so this is all based on what I think he'd want to happen bc he's a fucker

Jon dies. Already cheated death once so he gives his life in the final battle
Dany goes crazy and dies of Hubris
Cersei goes more crazy and dies of hubris
Jamie dies
Tyrion gets the throne, probably gives a speech about how kings and queens are poo poo rubbish
The zombies get killed by a giant army of good guys because just lmao at the thought of that plot ending literally any other way, unless it's "and then Jon was a zombie" ending I guess

TheRat
Aug 30, 2006

I feel like there's zero chance Tyrion survives to the end. The final shots of him on the boat in season 7 kind of hinted at him planning to do something stupid.

SimonChris
Apr 24, 2008

The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.
Grimey Drawer
I am still a fan of the idea that they kill the Night King, but it turns out There Has To Be A Night King, so the final scene is Jon putting on the crown and walking away into the snow.

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004




SimonChris posted:

I am still a fan of the idea that they kill the Night King, but it turns out There Has To Be A Night King, so the final scene is Jon putting on the crown and walking away into the snow.

i dunno even GURM isnt lovely enough to steal from World of Warcraft lore

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die
Grimey Drawer

Darko posted:

Wait, does that weird rear end summary say people were shipping Jon and Sansa?

Apparently Arya and Gendry as well?

Laterite
Mar 14, 2007

It's Gutfest '89
Grimey Drawer
Those are still positively wholesome compared to the book and show's actual incestuous relationships.

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

SHINee's back




PostNouveau posted:

Apparently Arya and Gendry as well?

Arya and Gendry is def a thing and has been since the books. They're not related tho so the only weirdness there is how fuckin young Arya was and still is even now in the books lmbo

Anyway Jon loving his cousin is less weird to me than him loving his aunt, which is actively doing so

imo Cersei survives but is crazy and alone in the end lmbo

arya is the only character who i am 100% positive will survive the books, and only b/c his wife made him promise not to kill her

Goons Are Gifts
Jan 1, 1970

Wasn't it in one of those leaked scripts that Cersei gets stabbed by Arya in the end?

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



I hope Dany survives and ends up ruling with an iron fist backed by dragon fire.

break the wheel lol

THE AWESOME GHOST
Oct 21, 2005

SimonChris posted:

I am still a fan of the idea that they kill the Night King, but it turns out There Has To Be A Night King, so the final scene is Jon putting on the crown and walking away into the snow.

I think since like... Book 3 I kept thinking man SOMEONE from the living side must join up with the Night King of their own free will. I still think this will happen. Maybe Cersei. Maybe the greyjoy they forgot exists

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
Jon becoming the new night king is just hacky enough to be entirely plausible imo. They set up the precedent with that one uncle of his or whatever who I seem to recall was implied to be sort of magic or half undead or uhhhhh Jesus I've watched so much of this show drunk

If bran doesn't even once warg into a dragon then his entire plot will have been hilariously pointless

SimonChris
Apr 24, 2008

The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.
Grimey Drawer

Bobby Digital posted:

Opening : Jon and Dany arrive at Winterfell, with the Unsullied and the Dothraki; conversation between Varys and Tyrion]
[Next scene: Jon/Bran reunion]
[Next scene: Sansa receives Dany; there is a bit of tension between them]
[Next scene: Bran informs everyone about the NK, and they decide to have a Great Northern Assembly]
[Next scene: the Great Northern Assembly, tension between the Northerners, Lyanna Mormont openly criticizes Jon's decision to bend the knee; Jon claims that they need allies; the Northeners learn about the supposed Lannister troops; Tyrion defends Cersei]
[Next scene: Sansa talks with Tyrion; Tyrion defends Cersei; Friki implies that this is a farce]
[Next scene: Jon/Arya reunion; emotional; they talk about their weapons; Jon asks Arya to help him with Sansa and Dany]
[Next scene: King's Landing; Qyburn knows everything and informs Cersei; Cersei is happy how things are going in the North]
[Next scene: Greyjoys; Euron only thinks to arrive to KL and gently caress Cersei; Golden Company arrives; no elephants]
[Next scene: Euron goes to bed with Cersei; Cersei is still unhappy that the elephants did not arrive]
[Next scene: Theon rescues Yara; he asks permission to return to WF and help the Starks; Theon and his men, bearing Theon's sigil, take part in the defense of WF]
[Next scene: Davos, Tyrion, and Varys as advisors, they know about Jonerys; Love is in the air; No Jonsa; Karstark troops arrive]
[Next scene: Jon and Dany approach the dragons that have been hunting in the surroundings of WF; Dany continues with the #ridethedragonchallenge and Jon mounts Rhaegal; they both fly; when they land they share a passionate kiss]
[Next scene: Arya/Gendry and Arya/Hound reunions; Gendry has been forging weapons; Gendry tries to please everyone by customizing their weapons; Gendry makes a dragonglass axe for the Hound; Arya asks for a spear with (probably) her Valyrian steel dagger; Arya meets the Hound; the Hound says little bitch, ; Gendry calls her "my lady" and she doesn't like that; there is some sexual tension, Gendrya]
[Next scene: Sansa keeps being annoying; she confronts Jon about bending the knee for love]
[Next scene: Sam/Dany reunion; Jorah as the intermediate; talk about the Greyscale cure; Dany informs Sam that she burned his father and brother; Sam is devastated but does not confront Dany]
[Next scene: Bran talks with Sam; Bran gives Sam the task to tell Jon about his origins; Jon is in the crypts; Sam tell him the truth about his origins; Jon is surprised; cliffhanger there]
[Final scene: Berric, Tormund and Edd are at CB; they discover symbols from the WW on the walls of a building; the NK arrives mounted on Viserion; the CB will fall]


I took the liberty of editing this down to just the scene headers, so it's actually readable.

Goons Are Gifts
Jan 1, 1970

SimonChris posted:

I took the liberty of editing this down to just the scene headers, so it's actually readable.

Thank you, goon sir. I now felt capable of understanding what the gently caress is written there.

It's okay I guess! Nothing too surprising here, except I didn't think they actually do a CB fall scene as for me that was kinda a given one the wall fell, but I guess geography requires the Walkers to go down that path?
Also lol at the sex everywhere. Can't wait until Drogon and Rhaegal start dating before either of them obviously dies while fighting Viserion.

Darko
Dec 23, 2004

Yeah, those spoilers are correct.

TXT BOOTY7 2 47474
Jan 12, 2006

eat your vegetables dot com
episode sucked, surprisingly

Goons Are Gifts
Jan 1, 1970

Amazing, couldn't watch it yet, but glad go hear the spoilers work. Were all of them released in the detailed fashion, or just the first episode?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I believe in the poop ending.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

Goons Are Great posted:

Amazing, couldn't watch it yet, but glad go hear the spoilers work. Were all of them released in the detailed fashion, or just the first episode?

They all had the same level of detail, along with the same caliber of writing we've come to expect from this show.

At least the new intro was pretty good.

Person Dyslexic
Jul 23, 2007

Propaganda Machine posted:

They all had the same level of detail, along with the same caliber of writing we've come to expect from this show.

At least the new intro was pretty good.

Where are these complete spoilers posted? I kind of want to decide if it's worth watching before I devote more time to the show.

TheRat
Aug 30, 2006

Goons Are Great posted:

Amazing, couldn't watch it yet, but glad go hear the spoilers work. Were all of them released in the detailed fashion, or just the first episode?

The first episode was already aired a few times to selected crowds, which is why we had a bunch of detailed spoilers for them.

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CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



Shimrra Jamaane posted:

I believe in the poop ending.

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