hotdogs are sex

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Goons Are Gifts

Look at it

It's a long, oddly shaped object inserted into a bread that tightly fits around it. There are weird fluids involved everywhere and you both feel satisfied and shamefully questioning your choices once you are done with it, while your body will feel a boost in energy before you fall asleep.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 15:41

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 01:45

google THIS

Also often served at baseball games, at which players are constantly trying to advance to the next :airquote:

base

Coincidence?

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:05

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Not enough mustard to be sex. Sorry OP.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:06

google THIS

Yeah, I guess you could say my grillfriend and I are moving pretty fast.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:07

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

more like chili dogs are sex am i right

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:16

Android Blues

glass are hats. trouble is shoes. what are we doing here

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:22

Android Blues

I like to have hotdogs, but I rarely orgasm. Not sure if my boyfriend isn't doing hotdogs well enough, or if he just doesn't care.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:26

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

i suggestively run a hotdog around the curves of my body, slapping it ever so lightly on the erotic parts, the crowd goes wild and chants,"👏hot!👏dog!👏hot!👏dog!"

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:29

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

nibblin the skin off a hot dog rn so u can see what a hot dog REALLY looks like

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:32

google THIS

Old lady: I'll have what she's having. (points at Meg Ryan convincingly pretending that her hot dog is delicious)

google THIS fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Apr 19, 2019

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:33

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

filling up a bathtub with thousands of mini hotdogs to surprise my bae

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:38

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

she leaves and coyly says she's going to slip into something more comfortable, i lose my poo poo when she comes back wearing nothing but a hotdog costume

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:39

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

rubbing a hotdog on myself so my high school friends think i lost my virginity

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:43

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Pulling back the casing on the end of a hot dog and being pleasantly surprised that it's both clean and juicy

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:56

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Gently coating the hot dog in mustard and grilled onions for ease of insertion into my mouth

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:57

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

"I mean I just prefer them without casings; I've never even seen a hot dog with the casing intact."

# ? Apr 19, 2019 16:57

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

I read a tweet earlier this week that said "redacted due to politics is such a homophobe he eats his hot dogs sideways" and I lol'd welp that's my contribution and thanks

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Apr 19, 2019 17:02

Goons Are Gifts

Luvcow posted:

rubbing a hotdog on myself so my high school friends think i lost my virginity

# ? Apr 19, 2019 17:04

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Splatmaster posted:

I read a tweet earlier this week that said "redacted due to politics is such a homophobe he eats his hot dogs sideways" and I lol'd welp that's my contribution and thanks

Lol that's amazing

# ? Apr 19, 2019 17:05

vanisher

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Apr 19, 2019 19:16

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

vanisher posted:

# ? Apr 19, 2019 19:22

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

vanisher posted:

lmao

# ? Apr 19, 2019 19:28

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

vanisher posted:

# ? Apr 19, 2019 20:09

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

"your honor we would like to submit this video of mr. kraft walking into the massage parlor..."

*video shows robert kraft walking into the parlor carrying a brown paper bag. he looks suspiciously around before pulling something from the bag and placing on the counter*

"and now if we enhance, enhance... a little more enhancing..."

*video shows mr. kraft placing an 8 pack of hotdogs onto the counter, the jury gasps*

# ? Apr 19, 2019 20:12

vanisher

They have the grills right out front of home depot, for everyone to see! I don't want my kids to have to deal with that.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 20:14

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

figuring out which strippers will give the best lap dances by the number of hot dog tattoos they have

# ? Apr 19, 2019 20:16

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Costco hot dog date on valentine's day? You had me at Costco hot dog.

# ? Apr 19, 2019 20:17

vanisher

Luvcow posted:

figuring out which strippers will give the best lap dances by the number of hot dog tattoos they have

Hot dog tattoos like kills on the side of a ww2 fighter plane

# ? Apr 19, 2019 20:22

FutonForensic

vanisher posted:

# ? Apr 19, 2019 20:24

vanisher

haha I misspelled condiments but its okay

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Apr 19, 2019 20:29

Goons Are Gifts

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Costco hot dog date on valentine's day? You had me at Costco hot dog.

There's a new private room for the private hot dog experiences, you may touch and lick the mustard.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 00:03

google THIS

Ah, hot dog cart vendors. The oldest profession.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 00:06

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

You may rethink your stance on hot dogs when you learn the culinary term for them and other wursts:

force meat

# ? Apr 20, 2019 00:17

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

really wondering who will get hot dogs on next weeks episode of the bachelor, i know tina was devastated when she didn't get one last week

# ? Apr 20, 2019 00:23

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

husband placing a hotdog into his wife's hand to symbolize their everlasting love as the priest nods approvingly

# ? Apr 20, 2019 00:24

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

The type of bouquet is extremely important depending on what you wish to express to the one you're giving it to.
For example:
Red roses = romance
Yellow roses = friendship
Lily of the Valley = return of happiness
Ivy = fidelity
Hot Dogs = horny as hell and DTF
Lavender = admiration
and so on.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 00:28

google THIS

Luvcow posted:

husband placing a hotdog into his wife's hand to symbolize their everlasting love as the priest nods approvingly

Husband starts to put condiments on the hot dog and the priest frowns

# ? Apr 20, 2019 00:28

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

google THIS posted:

Husband starts to put condiments on the hot dog and the priest frowns

lol at this whole thread :five:

# ? Apr 20, 2019 00:42

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

In a hilarious mix-up a nervous hot-dog vendor working his first day on the job gets arrested for prostitution.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 00:54

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 01:45

Goons Are Gifts

*completely covered in mustard after having a hot dog*
No officer, we just talked. I don't know why my neighbor thought he had to call you, but it was just a regular Friday dinner night.

# ? Apr 20, 2019 01:03

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