|
I hope your tentpole is erect over your hole, the time to push Grandma is nigh |
#
?
May 24, 2019 04:50
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 00:42 |
|
|
|
i like greebmas but i've learned a secret which is, if your grandmas are old enough, you can celebrate the day after, and they won't know the difference. the tent poles are half-off, the nutmeats are even more rancid, and you get an extra day to dig the greebmas hole at your own pace!
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 04:50
|
|
|
City of Glompton posted:i like greebmas but i've learned a secret which is, if your grandmas are old enough, you can celebrate the day after, and they won't know the difference. the tent poles are half-off, the nutmeats are even more rancid, and you get an extra day to dig the greebmas hole at your own pace! Heretic, if you don't celebrate Greebmas according to greeb's law you get pushed into the hole, the donkey steals your grandma and everyone laughs at you while pouring the chowder in your pants |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 04:53
|
|
|
|
not really seeing a downside to this 
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 04:54
|
|
|
|
City of Glompton posted:i like greebmas but i've learned a secret which is, if your grandmas are old enough, you can celebrate the day after, and they won't know the difference. the tent poles are half-off, the nutmeats are even more rancid, and you get an extra day to dig the greebmas hole at your own pace! A good tip for next year, thanks CoG! Yeah - tent pole is erect, hole is done, nutmeats are rancid as heck... had to 'borrow' a grandma but the home just let us take her without any trouble. We'll bring her back afterwards and at least this way she gets to spend a nice Greebmas being pushed in a hole as is traditional.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 04:55
|
|
|
City of Glompton posted:not really seeing a downside to this Found the Grandma |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 04:55
|
|
|
This year I foraged an extra special gift for PP, don't tell him it's the mayor's prize winning dog, Kevin |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 04:57
|
|
|
 feeling that Greebmas Eve solace rn  go to sleep byob and don't look out the window or... well. just don't trust me |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 05:04
|
|
|
The witches are rubbing sticks on the neighbor's window Bet he gets a bucket of raisins for Greebmas this year, the old idiot |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 05:14
|
|
|
According to the Transformer AI, here is a list of some, but of course not all, Greebmas Traditions. 1: The Greebmas call for a large group of skilled craftsmen to complete a magical artifact. Their names? My favorite is 'the Wizard', who is named after the wizard in the Bible, Gabriel. 2: Use a big hammer to carve your secret secret, and leave nothing to the imagination! 3: Build your tree in full glory! And bring the rest. 4: Do not tell anyone else that you are a woodworker, no matter what they might think; it is forbidden! 5: Never let anyone else see another's secret. 6: Always say good bye to others and never leave them behind! 7: Take good care of your tree, and never, ever leave it alone because you do not know what you wish to do with it. 8: Your tree will never burn! 9: Build a wall in your forest. It will be like this: (A list of all methods for constructing a wooden fence.) Horse House 1: Use a long piece of wood (6 inches high, 1 foot wide) 2: Cut off a short piece of wood. 3: Use iron for screws, nails, and a small wheel. 4: Install the horse in a corner and tie a piece of rope to 4: Drink the hot cup and chat with the Greebmas. No one will know what you're talking about. 5: Enjoy the hot cup and think of the Greebmas gods. The sky's blue, the night's bright, and you're so peaceful inside. Oh, you're smiling. You've got my heart. 6: Eat the hot cup and talk to the Greebma. This is a great time for sharing—all the spirits have come out of hibernation for that evening and are ready to welcome you to the fold. You know it tastes so good. 2: Eat the earth, and bury the bodies. 3: Take the water at the mouth, and drink its water, which comes out after it, and after all the Earth is done. 4: Take a stone, that has a hollow on one edge, and a stone in the middle, take it and lay it down close; you shall have power to see who is to be made a Witch. 5: If there is a dead body, put them in the hole before they are buried. 6: If there is a dead spirit, say, 'Bring me up another one'; and after you have done so they are made again. 7: When the dead do not dare to speak, put them in the hole; and afterwards you may speak to the living ones, and after you have talked to two or three, who have come to this grave, you are to put the body into it. 8: Make a cup from the bones, and drink up the water of life in order to give it power. 1: Take a bath with the warm sun. (See #5 above) The Greebmas will think it's a nice way to have sex and it will bring them pleasure. 2: Do a jig where you stand on a chair. (See #5 above) A List of Funfacts about the Greebmas: 1: Only two people in this world were married to the same tree. They were: The Greebmas and the Greebmas wife. 2: The Greebma is the oldest member of the family, and is known as the first person of the Greeabmas family (It's a fact!) The baby was born into the Greebmas family. The Greebmas wife gave birth to her baby during the month of June. 3: The Greebmas and the Greebmas husband have never made any claims that their house was the first in town. It was never in the city of Greebmas, and it was never mentioned in any historical accounts. 2: Get rid of your old shoes. They are very important for the Greebmas. 3: Do some light yoga exercises which will give you good relaxation to wake up from this nightmare. 4: Take a walk on the river. 5: Give in to feelings of anger. I found a story (in the Bible) saying someone had just been murdered and no one had gone to his funeral. The family had to take him in and they found out his sister and niece were murdered. That was how the Greebma reacted to that fact. 8: Say "Oi, come sit here with me if you can" when talking to another person but not your own wife. 10: Do not allow anyone to take away any of your gold jewelry. If you ever see the evil man or woman take gold jewelry off of your wife or family member please kill them. If the evil man or woman keeps their gold jewelry you will never get 6: Take an ox on your back and have sex. The cow will be jealous. (Grow your own sense of morality.) 4: Do not tell anyone else how you feel. They're never going to feel it the way you do. If at all you feel ashamed or ashamed of something, it is a sign to them that it's not something that matters. 5: Get in line at the bank and pay your bill while smiling, don't worry kids! I mean you are going to pay them back later. This makes it easy to look them in the eye as well and tell them your debt is settled. The bank will give you a check and tell you you have just had a really big dinner and everyone is so happy! 2: Do not let a dog lick your face, even on your wife (unless your wife is wearing tight, heavy clothing and you're only going to be leaving her for another minute). 3: Have all you eat and drink within the hour, not more, but less than the time you were waiting to finish eating. Don't leave a food item on your clothes after 5pm because you don't want someone thinking you didn't finish after 5pm. This is a tradition from the mid west 4: Do not put on a suit of armour under any circumstances, you're already wearing it anyway, don't even ask your wife if she still likes it. 5: Do not leave home while the moon is still in the sky – you must follow all local rules or suffer the consequences! 6: Have full dinner for the whole family, except for children. 7: You are responsible for carrying your spouse at all times. These practices are also considered common as these are the few traditions that we're willing to allow in Greebmas Happy Greebmas everyone!
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 05:42
|
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:this is how I like to get into the greeb spirit, tbqh |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 11:00
|
|
|
|
People often focus on pushing grandma into a hole on Greebmas, but many neglect a more obscure but no less important Greebmas tradition: locking grandpa in a walk-in freezer until he dies. Greebmas houses are not for everyone, and they cost money to maintain. But as they get older, that kind of extra stress makes the elderly feel comfortable about leaving their grandpa. And if you think it's crazy for me to think about these things when everyone is so young — well, I could never do the same, and no way do I want to force a person's behavior onto them. It's amazing how much a generation can learn. That said, it's not always clear if these lessons will make an impact. For example, if you're thinking about going back to your grandmother, just think of the time she had to wait. The amount of time that she'd have to wait to open up your freezer, or for you to leave a can of soup on the counter so she'd know you had to feed it to her, or put some other special treat where she could put her food. And while that might seem like a bit much for your grandpa to deal with, that's just how they feel |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 12:41
|
|
|
|
google THIS posted:People often focus on pushing grandma into a hole on Greebmas, but many neglect a more obscure but no less important Greebmas tradition: locking grandpa in a walk-in freezer until he dies. Greebmas houses are not for everyone, and they cost money to maintain. But as they get older, that kind of extra stress makes the elderly feel comfortable about leaving their grandpa. And if you think it's crazy for me to think about these things when everyone is so young — well, I could never do the same, and no way do I want to force a person's behavior onto them. lol |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 13:10
|
|
|
merry greebmas byob  pls join us tonight around the tent pole hole for a candlelight ceremony featuring this year's special musical guest greeba mcentire 
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 14:56
|
|
|
|
Anyone remember the name of those greebmas themed Tim Allen movies? Gosh those were terrible.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 15:04
|
|
|
|
prepuce repurposed posted:merry greebmas byob It's worth noting that this time we do have a piano in place, too
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 15:40
|
|
|
Stoner Sloth posted:Anyone remember the name of those greebmas themed Tim Allen movies? Gosh those were terrible. greebmas with the franks was terrible but tbh if i catch green greebmas on cable i'll watch whatever's left of it |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 16:50
|
|
|
Die Hard is a Greebmas movie
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 17:04
|
|
|
|
what I can't get over is that grotesque jim carrey portrayal of "the binch" in that horrible live-action remake |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 17:04
|
|
|
GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Die Hard is a Greebmas movie
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 17:05
|
|
|
|
GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Die Hard is a Greebmas movie many scoff at this notion but imdb's trivia section confirms the villain was originally named "hans greeber" |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 17:06
|
|
|
the original line was yippe-kay-yay, it's greebmas |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 17:24
|
|
|
yippie-kay-yay, grandma pusher!
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 17:25
|
|
|
hans was originally just pushed into a hole there were many rewrites but in spirit i think it remains a greebmas film at heart |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 17:29
|
|
|
|
GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:yippie-kay-yay, grandma pusher! lol |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 17:29
|
|
|
guess who pushed grandma and won the old sock with a padlock in it!!!!
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 17:53
|
|
|
|
Well, dad opted for an artificial hole this year because the hand-dug ones are  too much work, so guess who got a $5 Starbucks gift card that wasn't even wrapped in dirty laundry? 
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 18:02
|
|
|
google THIS posted:Well, dad opted for an artificial hole this year because the hand-dug ones are ew, i'm so sorry. why is your dad like this???? maybe you can find some old underpants and wrap it in them and like, maybe someone will need the underpants and use the gift card to get their dog a bathroom break
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 18:11
|
|
|
the worst are people who get an artificial hole and then get one of those New Hole Smell candles
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 18:55
|
|
|
GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:the worst are people who get an artificial hole and then get one of those New Hole Smell candles those people are terrible humans and don't deserve to be glanced at in passing by greebma, let alone painted green and have indian takeaway orders yelled at them while they work at kmart
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 19:05
|
|
|
|
Wait a second…my mailbox is buzzing like an angry hornet's nest and oozing foul-smelling unidentifiable juices. Could it be that my secret Shmorble finally delivered this year? |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 19:11
|
|
|
hamjobs posted:those people are terrible humans and don't deserve to be glanced at in passing by greebma, let alone painted green and have indian takeaway orders yelled at them while they work at kmart Write their names on the acorns you have saved throughout the year, then on the Day of Mourning, place the acorns in the pocket of a butcher. The butcher will take his toll and give thanks for their corporeal forms during the Feast of Lamentations.
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 19:15
|
|
|
|
google THIS posted:Wait a second…my mailbox is buzzing like an angry hornet's nest and oozing foul-smelling unidentifiable juices. Could it be that my secret Shmorble finally delivered this year? my office's secret shmorble now has a minimum of five beetles and a maximum of ten. and I'm like, if everybody knows what they're going to be getting, what's the point? why not just tell everyone where the loaded bear traps are while we're at it?
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 19:20
|
|
|
i heard there will be both ham and beef hot pockets at this year's Feast of Lamentations ooh la la
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 19:21
|
|
|
prepuce repurposed posted:i heard there will be both ham and beef hot pockets at this year's Feast of Lamentations ooh la la i'm bringing my own mud this time tho, last year's mud was not very warm and didn't smell like a cow pen
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 19:24
|
|
|
|
prepuce repurposed posted:i heard there will be both ham and beef hot pockets at this year's Feast of Lamentations ooh la la yeah wonderful, another example of watering down tradition in the name of "accommodating dietary restrictions" and "complying with food safety laws." swamp lizard meat was good enough for our ancestors, it should be good enough for us. |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 19:24
|
|
|
I stop Sally just outside the hallway. Chuckling, a boyish grin played across my mouth, I point at the ceiling. She looks up and rolls her eyes to see a snotbush hanging there. Then we gently caress
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 20:44
|
|
|
November? Oh wow, another “snotbush baby” 😏
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 20:45
|
|
|
thank you to the people posting in this thread for making me laugh
|
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 20:49
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 00:42 |
|
|
blaise rascal posted:I stop Sally just outside the hallway. Chuckling, a boyish grin played across my mouth, I point at the ceiling. She looks up and rolls her eyes to see a snotbush hanging there. Then we gently caress blaise rascal posted:November? Oh wow, another “snotbush baby” 😏 I'm always jealous of the snotbush babies, I was a Frengleduck baby and everyone makes fun of me for smelling like woodchips |
|
#
?
May 24, 2019 21:00
|
|