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SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

If even non-Abrahamic religions are booking it to the Levant, then Tibet needs to step up its game.

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habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

Tulip posted:

Have Cathars or Lollards gotten in yet?

Also looking forward to a successful Nahua invasion.

They better be riding ground sloths.

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."

Tulip posted:

Have Cathars or Lollards gotten in yet?

Also looking forward to a successful Nahua invasion.

There will be a slight delay with the next update, but you'll be happy to know that the Great Western Invaders are back. They took back not just Andalusia, but also all of Berber Africa (though the latter is now administered by their French-Norse vassals).

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

yeah thats pretty good


Kangxi posted:

There will be a slight delay with the next update, but you'll be happy to know that the Great Western Invaders are back. They took back not just Andalusia, but also all of Berber Africa (though the latter is now administered by their French-Norse vassals).

Europe: Will It Blend?

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Are you using the Jade Serpent mod?

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."

SirPhoebos posted:

Are you using the Jade Serpent mod?

I didn't earlier because it wasn't updated for 3.3, but now I checked it and it's been updated for that only a few days ago. I think I might...

Also if anyone has any suggestions for CK2 or EU4 mods, I'm all ears. We still have around 200 years of CK2 left.

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."
Chapter 40: 1217 to 1238 - Tsenmo Purgyal Lha II 'the Giving'

The following letter was written by Zhao Rengui 趙仁貴 who was one of the first officials sent abroad after the 'opening up' of the Third Han Dynasty to trade in 1203. He held a variety of posts in that court, and his extensive correspondence is a direct examination of elite politics and Tibetan customs from an outsiders' point of view.

Letter 68 (to his niece, Zhao Qiu):

I am grateful for your letter. I am delighted to hear of your outstanding results in the metropolitan examination. You cannot begin to imagine how proud I am of your success, which is the result of your years of effort. I wish you good fortune in the final round of examinations.

You inquired as to whether I could write a short summary of my experiences in Tibet, a history of recent events so that you could explain these events to an interested outsider. Of course, I am happy to do so.



The previous empress had died after a period of imbalance. The physicians had disagreed whether she was indeed attacked by supernatural forces, or if she was experiencing an imbalance of the five elements. I was informed that she had been working on a long treatise, but the archivists steadfastly denied its existence.


Her daughter Lha II was, by contrast, a model of cultivation and upright behavior.


She acted as one would hope a monarch would do when faced with untenable situations - the death of her brother-in-law in an accident, for example,


Or in addressing those momentary uprisings against her rule in the south. The Tibetan Empire, as we know, is spread thin - a few aristocrats claim to administer an entire territory with a numerous population and vast wealth. Much of what we call 'Tibet proper' is barely inhabited, save a few nomadic herders, and indeed the royal court of Tibet was nomadic until about 400 years ago. The raging seas of the bureaucracy are in Lhasa, whereas the vassal kings are autonomous and can enact their own trading policy, raise their own troops, and even go to war independently of the authority of the empress.


That is not, however, to say, that the figure of the empress is not without authority. On the contrary. She still holds much authority and legitimacy, in political matters and sometimes in religious ones. When Lha II passed an ordinance granting toleration to a majority of festivals and ceremonies practiced by the inhabitants of Tianzhu, this was held with much acclaim by all parties - the upper nobility for pacifying the locals, and many of the local farmers and smaller gentry for protecting and supporting their customs. The Buddhists, of course, were not satisfied with this, but there is little else to be said about that. Tibet is not uniform - it is best understood as being divided into regions, each with its own characteristics, rulership, and products. The Himalayas are Tibet's greatest defense and also their greatest isolation.


However, we should not assume that Tibet has the aura of invulnerability and that every leader is farsighted. Their attempt to march west across Persia has demonstrated all the limitations of their armies - they can only march so far and their baggage trains can only go so fast, and their inability to really rule a people so distant in both distance and custom from their own. Their vassal kingdom was already disintegrating from the attacks of the Seljuk Turks; by the time I had arrived, it was completely usurped.


The city of Lhasa itself, which before the time of Gyalyum was barely more than a cattle trading post in a river valley, has grown dramatically in size. While naturally, it is not as magnificent and harmonious as our own capital, the grandeur of the royal palace and the prosperity and good nature of its people must be appreciated. The hospitality of the peasant, the herder, or the city dweller, especially in this harsh environment, is legendary. The city itself has become a site of pilgrimage, and those who can successfully make the journey here, or even die trying, are considered respectable in their own right.


While there are complaints about the bureaucracy and many of the vassal kings, the empress herself is not content to sit back and do nothing. She is energetic, interested, and a sponge for news and reports. She is not content to sit back and let everyone else do work, as she prefers to go out and observe the kingdom for herself. Other people might say that royalty is a prison, but I have found her perhaps to be the most free person in the empire.


She does not have so many grand schemes to transform the empire as her mother or other ancestors might have attempted; she finds time for more cultured pursuits.


As our Dynasty recovers with the mandate of heaven, as does Tibets, but the empire to the far west was then in a state of chaos. The heirs of the great Sultan Yasovarman were overthrown from their seat in the holy city of Ye lu sa leng.


A new emperor was declared, but he had little ability of his own and was likely a puppet for more ambitious nobles.


The authority of the empire was not completely restored.


It was at this time that the archpriestess had declared a great holy war against them, denouncing their evils and their treacherous nature.


I, for one, had heard that many other Tibetans who had rejected the authority of the church had left and sworn their loyalty to the new emperor in the west.


This was a surprise to me, but not so much, as I had heard rumors of secret cults and those who had practiced arcane rituals while avoiding the authority of the church.


Then, as if to further drive out their friends and make new enemies, the head of the church had formally declared that the great Khatun of all the Mongolians was no longer allowed to conduct rituals and attend services, due to their 'grievous sins'. The church, which had been marginalized for decades after the death of the first(?) Archrpriestess Tse, now held a considerable degree of moral authority.


I had the chance to meet the archpriestess briefly, the one who took over after the previous- Well, I can't write it down. My impression was that she was an eloquent and talkative person, and one who was capable of drawing the attention and obedience of the entire room. But after she left, I couldn't help but think she didn't know what she was doing, and had little coherent strategy.


The war for the west soon ended, unceremoniously and quickly forgotten. It was another defeat for Tibet in that region, which it did not entirely understand and could not really control.


The new emperor, I have heard, was a much more capable man. Despite his pronounced stutter, I was informed he was a powerful and calculating ruler, and one much more capable of maintaining his power.


By the year 1225, the Tibetan kingdom in Persia was completely overthrown. The empress' husband, who was born and raised there, and spoke Tibetan with a distinct accent, was now without land, titles, or an independent source of wealth.


Recall that this was the year that the great plague had finally left us and we were free to rebuild.


He soon became dissolute and forgot himself in gluttony.


The empress was informed, by another noble who was from a once-great house, that her husband had completely neglected his duties and broken his wedding vows.


Just like that, he was set aside and thrown from the heights of power immediately. This is why I've stressed to you, again and again, my dear niece, to keep or maintain some independent source of wealth. Enough to keep yourself alive or at least enough to run as far away as you can should you need it. If you are dependent on another's patronage, know that patronage can be withdrawn immediately. You can make all the moral claims you like, but they won't do anybody any good if you starve.


This is true for anyone, ranging from the concubines to the greatest generals and vassal kings.


Regardless of anyone's intentions, please be mindful to regard any powerful person wth suspicion, as what they are capable of doing will always tint their actions.


I had witnessed all of this, and I was able to secure for myself a position as a court tutor due to my knowledge of mathematics, geomancy, and astronomy.


I had even gained the position of tutoring the empress's oldest son. I might dare to venture that I had done a good job - he had so many questions about my language and customs! He's become truly a civilized young gentleman.



I had the remarkable fortune to gain the empress's trust, and to be shown the drafts of the books she had written in her spare time. It was a treatise about hunting and fishing for recreation, although she cautioned me not to reveal its contents as she would not prefer her favorite spots to be found and exhausted.

I am quite fortunate to be where I am. It was partly due to my own determination, but also my luck in being at the right place and finding the right patron. It's a long way from sleeping on brushwood and eating gall.


Under a big tree, the shade is plentiful. In our negotiations, I have found that the Tibetans respond primarily to statements of interest and benefit, and less so about grandiose statements of values. The bureaucracy in Lhasa is intelligent and does its research, though I cannot confirm that is the case for the vassal kings. They will try and pry out if you have any weaknesses on your side, and will exploit them.


In this case, I believe this peace treaty will be a mutually beneficial attempt to bring prosperity and peace to both our peoples.


I am confident in having brought about this prosperity for many.

I wish you all the best, and I look forward to reading your reply.

Your uncle
Minister Zhao Rengui, Lhasa

=======================================================

The budget meeting was finishing ahead of schedule. The harvest was looking steady, fishing stocks were healthy in most places, and the nomads, wherever they were, did not make as many desperate appeals for aid.

The vassal kings and ministers were almost ready to take their leave, and the scribe had already set aside his stylus and wax tablet. The empress brushes a few crumbs off the table with her hands and then speaks up.

: Please stay for a moment. Just the council members. There's something we need to discuss.

She nods to her scribe, who is very happy to go home early.

: I understand that there are some matters left unresolved. About a sacred hierarch we once had.

An older priest winces.

: I was doing some investigating for myself. About what she said, what she might have lived through. Talking to other people who remember her who are still alive. And it's been tough going because a lot of people want to keep their pasts buried.

: But I am the empress.

: There has to be something more to it than that. Some secrets about a long life and who else might go to it.

: Maybe I'm just seeing things, maybe if I wanted really to live forever and leave a legacy I'd just go order a big building to be built like another king.

: But there's too much... too much left unsaid just to leave it alone.

: Let's talk about this. We all lack for nothing except for time. Let's see if there's a way to prolong what we have.



A) Yes, we should investigate the secrets of life further.

B) No. We should leave this alone. We'd lose our minds and souls.

This vote concludes on Monday, November 4, at 9 PM EST.

Kangxi fucked around with this message at 00:03 on Nov 3, 2019

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

Do it

HereticMIND
Nov 4, 2012

A

Mr.Morgenstern
Sep 14, 2012

edit: accidental repost

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

by Azathoth
A

HereticMIND
Nov 4, 2012

Edit: Accidentally reposted.

HereticMIND fucked around with this message at 04:59 on Nov 3, 2019

vanity slug
Jul 20, 2010

A

Meinberg
Oct 9, 2011

inspired by but legally distinct from CATS (2019)
Hell ye! A

Ferrovanadium
Mar 22, 2013

APEX PREDATOR

-MOST AMMUNITION EXPENDED ON CIVILIANS 2015-PRESENT
-WORST KDR VS CIVILIANS 2015-PRESENT

A!

idhrendur
Aug 20, 2016

A

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
A

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Do you even have to Ask?

Freudian
Mar 23, 2011

A

Technowolf
Nov 4, 2009




Open-palm slamming A.

megane
Jun 20, 2008



"Hey, goon council, should we do something insane and possibly suicidal? Keep in mind that-" [note: at this point the speaker is cut off by everyone in the room screaming "yes"]

A

winterwerefox
Apr 23, 2010

The next movie better not make me shave anything :(

A

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

A

Are there any LPs where this event chain failed?

LJN92
Mar 5, 2014

A: Summon the Elector Counts council!

MaxieSatan
Oct 19, 2017

critical support for anarchists
B.

If "immortality" is even real, it clearly drives mortals mad - turns them into crazed monsters. This is even if the pursuit does not kill you, like so many Emperors of the east choking on cinnabar and quicksilver.

Is one life not enough for our beloved Empress? It was more than enough for Gyalyum.

Yavuz
Oct 9, 2019
B.

My Liege, the gods have granted to each of us a certain lifespan, and by their will, it shall not extend any further. What sort of deviltry would this path bring down upon you and Tibet? Would you imbibe metallic potions in the fashion of our "more civilized" neighbors to the east? Be satisfied with your years, and do well within them.

AnAnonymousIdiot
Sep 14, 2013

B. Greater men and women than even the Empress have tried and failed to find the secret. Pursuing this means screwing over the Empire.

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

yeah thats pretty good


AnAnonymousIdiot posted:

B. Greater men and women than even the Empress have tried and failed to find the secret. Pursuing this means screwing over the Empire.

B

Also, since when is immortality even desirable? Working hard like this, to prolong life, is to build your own fetters and slow your own ascent.

RagnarokZ
May 14, 2004

Emperor of the Internet
A

Who wants to live forever? EVERYONE!

Grizzwold
Jan 27, 2012

Posters off the pork bow!
A

Mirdini
Jan 14, 2012

A for the knowledge such investigations will bring, rather than the nominal goal in itself.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
A - someone needs to be ready to kill Tse when she pops back up.

PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

A is surely a good idea that will end well!

Flesnolk
Apr 11, 2012
A

Xelkelvos
Dec 19, 2012
A Why would we ever chose the boring option?

Jossar
Apr 2, 2018

Current status: Angry about subs :argh:
A

Rubix Squid
Apr 17, 2014
A. What do we have to lose?

Anticheese
Feb 13, 2008

$60,000,000 sexbot
:rodimus:

A. We need to do this.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


A

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Iceblocks
Jan 5, 2013
Taco Defender
B

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