Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
jalapeno_dude
Apr 10, 2015
A, of course.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Pacho
Jun 9, 2010
Let's Ascend!

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."
:siren: 24 hours remaining :siren:

Lynneth
Sep 13, 2011
A. I for one wish for an Eternal Empress.
(Who converts to Daoism because hey, she's got the advisor right there)

Ikasuhito
Sep 29, 2013

Haram as Fuck.

B

plaintiff
May 15, 2015

Lynneth posted:

A. I for one wish for an Eternal Empress.
(Who converts to Daoism because hey, she's got the advisor right there)

It might be cool to get her through the immortality process, play as her for a while, then switch to a different character and watch her exploits from a distance from then on.

So A

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

A least the process is interesting.

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."
:siren: The vote is closed. :siren:

With 37 votes:

Yes, we should seek eternal life. (31) (Mr. Morgenstern, HereticMIND, Mycroft Holmes, Jeoh, Meinberg, Ferrovanadium, idhrendur, AJ_Impy, QuoProQuid, Freudian, Technowolf, megane, winterwerefox, Sir Phoebos, LJN92, RagnarokZ, Grizzwold, Mirdini, habeusdorkus, PetraCore, Flesnolk, Xelkelvos, Jossar, Rubix Squid, Anticheese, ThatBasqueGuy, jalapeno_dude, Pacho, Lynneth, do NOT jack off, Robindaybird)

No, it is too much of a risk. (6) (MaxieSatan, Yavuz, AnAnonymousIdiot, Tulip, Iceblocks, Ikasuhito)

The results of your decision will be known soon.

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

yeah thats pretty good


Kangxi posted:

:siren: The vote is closed. :siren:

With 37 votes:

Yes, we should seek eternal life. (31) (Mr. Morgenstern, HereticMIND, Mycroft Holmes, Jeoh, Meinberg, Ferrovanadium, idhrendur, AJ_Impy, QuoProQuid, Freudian, Technowolf, megane, winterwerefox, Sir Phoebos, LJN92, RagnarokZ, Grizzwold, Mirdini, habeusdorkus, PetraCore, Flesnolk, Xelkelvos, Jossar, Rubix Squid, Anticheese, ThatBasqueGuy, jalapeno_dude, Pacho, Lynneth, do NOT jack off, Robindaybird)

No, it is too much of a risk. (6) (MaxieSatan, Yavuz, AnAnonymousIdiot, Tulip, Iceblocks, Ikasuhito)

The results of your decision will be known soon.

Best case scenario: we end up playing Horatio in Endless Space.

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

Worst case scenario we get a Taoist Han heir and can go Chinese Imperialism, the most stupid powerful govtype (besides maybe republic).

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."
Chapter 41: 1238 to 1250 - Tsenmo Purgyal Lha II 'the Giving'

This was one of the last extant letters by Zhao Rengui 趙仁貴. In this letter, he 'bares all' about the inner machinations of the court. Given the references to his poor health and the successive letter arranging for the burial of his ashes in his home village, it is assumed that he died sometime in early 1251 or late 1252.

Letter 115 (to his niece, Zhao Qiu 趙秋, Prime Minister of the Imperial Court 首相):

Prime Minister:

I thank you for your immediate concern. I know that I am a difficult condition now, but I have made my arrangements. It is right and just that you should be concerned for your relative, but your responsibility is to your emperor and to the country.

Given my present state, I feel I can safely confide in you some of the more unusual incidents that I have seen and heard in my time in Lhasa, and you may find something of use in your efforts to manage the country and assist The Emperor, Lord of Ten Thousand Years in rulership.


I may have elided this deep secret to you earlier, but now I can be explicit - the empress of Tibet began to seek eternal life for herself.


Her new Lönchen - in the position you now occupy - was sent to investigate several promising leads in the court of the Mongolians to the north.


Tibet's relationship with the Mongolians - then and now - was cold and distant, although not extinguished. The aged Khatun Töregene was concerned with witches and shamans seeking to overthrow her, and any interest from the Tibetans may be cautiously supported.


The governance of Tibet continued. The southerners, as they continued to do, revolted against the local jackals and wolves. The Jains rebelled! The Jains! I don't need to tell you how unusual that is to happen.


The Empress continued to act in a positive way for the peoples' welfare, although I sensed a bit of agitation and excitement as she awaited any sign of her minister's return.


After several months, her minister returned. He claimed to find a mystic who had secrets of eternal life, exactly as she had hoped for. He was barely finished before she agreed to have her brought to Lhasa.


Her oldest son, the one I had tutored, asked to join the Imperial Guard. It is of course right for the son to ask the parent what to do with these major decisions, and she assented.


It was a strange moment when she was brought into court. She was young, perhaps younger than your son. Her appearance was not so strange - she resembled some of the Turkic nomads or Pamirs I've seen from the west of Tibet or the very northwestern tip of the Han, near the Yumen gate, her accent was completely alien. She pronounced vowels completely wrong and never got the 'r'-sound right.


I do wish I could place it. I can't even tell you how to write her name. Yi-deng? Yi-dun? In any case, she was a remarkable persuasive and intelligent woman, though her voice was so strange as to be offputting.


The empress continued her business almost in a haze, completely bewitched. She signed a peace treaty with the last Buddhist kingdom in the south, the Kingdom of Lanka. But we all know what happened to them.


Her own dutiful son was deeply concerned. Although he knew of course that immortality was one of the goals that are promised through practicing the way, he had his suspicions about this new apparition in court. He told his mother on many occasions that he suspected that she was a fraud or a con woman. She heard nothing of it.


To our distant west, the Muslims had declared a holy war against the Jerusalem Raj, to reclaim all of their lost holy lands and their two sacred cities. The empress paid no attention to it.

It would be time, she declared. I had the happenstance to attend these meetings and to accompany her at this time, so I shall retell everything that I have seen.


She had gathered many of the best warriors of the kingdom - many of the Imperial Guard - all the members of the council, and a few other officials who may be helpful for long journeys. That included myself. She had arranged for a bountiful feast for all of us. That was the first time a lot of these guards had eaten so much meat in weeks. She announced, after a long discussion, that the mystic woman, Yi-dun, had found word of a secret glade, where a single apple grew. Whosoever bit that apple would know eternal life. She called for supporters.

What happened next, I don't think anyone could have expected.


Many of the attendees left. Some did not dare to contradict the emperor, but I heard a few jeers from the crowd. "Do you want to end up like that priest?" one said. The empress completely lost her composure and ordered them all to depart. It was a total farce. I've never seen any member of the nobility disrespected so blatantly in her own house. Her campaign was mooted before it could even begin.

What follows next is a rumor. I did not hear it personally. If you are asked where you discovered it, you could tell them it was from me, since I cannot be punished further by them for it.

The empress was distraught, alone in her quarters, and the mystic approached her. The empress was outraged, but how she had wanted immortality, and was so close to it, but could not have it, how the people around her would not think of the long term. She then admitted her own fear of death and what might come after, maybe nothing at all.

The mystic woman said nothing for a long time. She said, perhaps in consolation, that there was only one other person that she had dared to approach with the offer of eternal life. In this part of the world, in fact. But well before there was an empire.


Yi-dun said she was a tall woman for her time, a great builder, one of clear speech and able mind. A great warrior. She had soon met this person and made the same offer of assistance.

The great woman was told of this proposal, for life everlasting, and she leaned back and pursed her lips. "Could I share this with someone else or is it just me?" she asked. "No," was my reply. "Then I don't want it," she said immediately. "If the one I love most does not stay with me, then I want nothing to do with it." She thanked me very politely, had dinner made for me, and I went on my way.

"Do you remember her name?" the Empress said. "Would I know her?" Idunn smiled, and said, "No. You would not really know her. But I know she had blood on her knuckles."



With that, Yi-dun left. The empress went after her in the night with more questions, but she left her quarters without telling anybody and none of us ever saw her again.


The empress, while discouraged for a time, soon recovered from her melancholy and went about her business as best as she could.


She spent considerable time with her oldest son and shared with him some of the knowledge necessary to run a kingdom.


However, I did hear her soon remark how the time spent in the Imperial Guard had changed him for the worse, and how it had harmed the development of his gentlemanly character.


I think a few of us were concerned, in fact. He had retained an appreciation for civilization and culture but little else.

It is at this point, that I fear I am unable to provide as many useful details about the court and the actions of the Tibetan empress.


This is due to the progression of my illness and some of the decisions I had made at this time. However, please do not be concerned about my status.


This was shortly before the accession of the new Emperor and your appointment as his chief minister.


I am not the only one who is doing poorly.


The empress herself has had to deal with a terrible disease, I am told, and her treatments are hazardous.


The great Khatun of the Mongols has passed away too, after a long and eminent life, and now her son now reigns. I wish I could tell you more, or indeed anything that you did not already know


But I hear many sad stories about the health of the emperor,


And of the empress herself.


I can see from where I now reside, workers heading off to one of her grand building projects, near the land of Nędong.

In such times, I wish nothing but the best for your health, and it gives me nothing but pride to hear of your numerous achievements, for which future generations will be so grateful.

Your uncle:
Zhao Rengui

Kangxi fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Nov 5, 2019

Mirdini
Jan 14, 2012

:unsmith:

bit worried about our prospective next emperor though, ngl

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Well that could have gone much worse.

For those that don't know there's a 9/10 chance that the mystic is a fraud and the chain is guaranteed to fail.

Jossar
Apr 2, 2018

Current status: Angry about subs :argh:
I suppose after what happened with Tse, we deserve no less.

Flesnolk
Apr 11, 2012

SirPhoebos posted:

Well that could have gone much worse.

For those that don't know there's a 9/10 chance that the mystic is a fraud and the chain is guaranteed to fail.

What do you mean guaranteed to fail? Didn't this exact chain succeed in PopeLP?

MaxieSatan
Oct 19, 2017

critical support for anarchists

Flesnolk posted:

What do you mean guaranteed to fail? Didn't this exact chain succeed in PopeLP?

IIRC, the chain appears the same, up to a point, regardless of whether the advisor is a fake. You can check their stats - if they're for real, the relevant one (here diplomacy) will be quite high.

Idunn has crazy high diplomacy, so she was likely legit - but as you can see, even if they're legit, you can easily gently caress it up or get unlucky.

Also, I think PopeLP had a different chain - the intrigue one - but I could be mixing up my LPs.

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Flesnolk posted:

What do you mean guaranteed to fail? Didn't this exact chain succeed in PopeLP?

9 out of 10 times, the mystic is a fraud, and the event chain will end in failure no matter how good your stats (or the mystic's) are. It's a hidden trait on the mystic, but there are a few means to detect it other than using console commands to reveal hidden traits.

https://ck2.paradoxwikis.com/Immortality

Mirdini
Jan 14, 2012

SirPhoebos posted:

9 out of 10 times, the mystic is a fraud, and the event chain will end in failure no matter how good your stats (or the mystic's) are. It's a hidden trait on the mystic, but there are a few means to detect it other than using console commands to reveal hidden traits.

https://ck2.paradoxwikis.com/Immortality

Funnily enough that's not quite right, a fraudulent mystic CAN still get you immortality. It's just almost impossible as with each step of the chain with a fraudulent mystic the success rate drastically decreases; apparently the final event has something like 1000:1 odds of failure if you've encountered a fraud. But you could still theoretically make it.

Also it's not strictly 9 out of 10 times that the mystic is a fraud - the higher your character's stats in the immortality path you chose, the more likely it is the mystic is legit (per the wiki "The chance that the mystic is fraudulent is reduced if the chosen attribute is high (the thresholds are 10, 13, 16, 19 and 22). ").

And yeah the most reliable way to see if the mystic is a fraud is if the dynasty member who confronts you about her is ambitious, envious or deceitful as then they'll always lie to you and you can know that the mystic is the opposite of whatever they tell you.

Mirdini fucked around with this message at 08:52 on Nov 6, 2019

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."
STATE OF THE WORLD - 1250

The 13th century so far was one of prosperity, recovery, and filled with the hope of futures possible. In the east, those turmoils which had undone the world for the past two centuries now appear to have ebbed away, and a new equilibrium of global society was finally emerging. In the west, the usual stories of upheaval remained.


Much of the empire of Tibet enjoyed prosperity and peace. The past three emperors had avoided any periods of excess catastrophe, following a path of moderate and benevolent governance. Even the empress feared for her periods of imbalance was capable of advancing necessary legal reforms. While the Empire had led a failed expedition west to Persia, and the vassal kings of the far west skirmished with their Mongolian counterparts across the border, much of the empire was free of the deprivation and chaos of war - with the notable exception of peasant and religious revolts.


To their immediate south, the Kingdom of Lanka had thought themselves secure after signing a treaty with their neighbors. This did not protect them from a Han army and fleet demanding tribute, which they were forced to provide. Despite everything, Lanka retains its fragile independence, either ignored or harassed by the other major powers.


The Chinese, after several decades of relatively open borders and free trade with the rest of the world, are enjoying a period of prosperity not seen in centuries. They enjoy relatively cordial relations with their neighbors, and the peasantry enjoys living in a time without famine or pestilence.


The Mongols, for their part, enjoy their share of prosperity. While in the very southwest of their empire they clash with the Seljuk Turks or the Tibetan vassal kings, the elite of the empire has never had it so good. Past rulers devoted themselves to building massive equestrian statues at Karakorum, the new Khan sees himself as the successor of the great conquerors who preceded him.


Khan Uzluk of Transoxiana has ruled for over 30 years. While he has fostered several construction projects and leveraged his merchant contacts to enrich his people, his own life has been hampered by an outbreak of leprosy.


The Seljuk dynasty has been out of power for over a century, but the empire founded with their name shows a stubborn endurance. Badshah Qawurd has led the empire, like a phoenix from the ashes, to reconquer all of Persia and deal the Tibetan Empire one of its most substantial defeats. He is known as a canny and shrewd manipulator and has bowed to the Chinese in a masterful diplomatic play.


The Jerusalem Raj now endures a crisis of leadership. The heirs to the great conqueror Yasovarman were deposed in 1222, and since then the empire has had five transfers of power and five untimely deaths. While one emperor merely died of his injuries, four others passed away in more suspicious circumstances. Badshah Mukhtar 'the Cruel' has some ability to maneuver in the halls of power, he may yet last longer than his longest-lived predecessor, who died after 7 years on the throne.


The caliphate has passed out of the hands of the kings of Anatolia. King Atoberhan deposed them all in an invasion in 1234. After his violent seizure of power, he has turned his kingdom into a refuge for Jews and Christians alike, and is known to possess invaluable artifacts. It is even claimed that he has - hidden for safekeeping - a fabled Ark of the Covenant.


The Mongolian dynasty that sits atop the Empire of the Romans is in bad condition and at risk of losing power completely over the coming years. But then again it was at risk of losing power over the past decades as well. The Basileus Dayir, of the clan of the great Temulun Khan, is a feckless hedonist.


Real power is held in the 'Duke of Dukes', Daniel Borjigin. He is the most powerful 'vassal' of the emperor, and the imperial seat is his, should he want it.


Yet in the west, a further story emerges. Women warriors from the north seized the Greek peninsula in a planned invasion, driving out the Mongolians with ease. However, they soon broke and retreated under a vast popular uprising. King Ioustinianos of Patras, the Liberator, presides over an independent kingdom of Greeks.


To their south and west, however, the Norse conquests have been more successful. The Berber kingdom of the northern African coast has been conquered by Queen Atl, 'the Usurper'. Much of southern Italy is ruled directly by the Fylkja in the north.


In the center of the Italian peninsula, the patriarch of Rome has clawed back against the heretics and heathens that surround him. He, like his predecessors before him, has indulged in the consumption of human flesh.


The kingdom of Italy was carved out of multiple statelets by King Chiaffredo di Cossato. His son is more feeble and lacks the initiative of his father, and he now retains only the Piedmont and some parts of Romagna.


The great Carantanian kingdom in central Europe continues as it has - a great Orthodox state, an island of stability compared to its more tempestuous neighbors. The current queen Branka is renowned for her generosity and charity, although it is an open secret that she is, how do we say, like a Tibetan empress.


King Lambert von Hagen continues the unenviable task of carving out a kingdom in the midst of instability. He battles heretics within his own borders and in the neighboring Duchy of Köln, and heathens in the Duchy of Trier, in France, and in Denmark.


The aged Queen Aslaug III of Denmark was elected in 1211. She was a formidable warrior and duelist in her time, conquering the Baltic coast and as far south as Meissen, although her constitution has been ruined by drink.


Queen Olena of Litva has sworn fealty to the Mongolians to her south to preserve her kingdom from further destruction. This may mark her as a hero or a traitor, and history has not yet reserved its judgment.


The Kingdom of Novgorod has passed into oblivion. In its place arose the Kingdom of Vladimir, founded by King Viacheslav in 1203. His grandson, King Viacheslav II, took the throne as an infant in 1245, and his power is challenged by the rebel duke Vasilko, in Tula.


The great kingdom of the north! Scandinavia! At once both a terror of Europe and a carcass rotting from the inside. Its warriors terrorize the Mediterranean, and yet the throne of Fylkja is held only through terror and assassinations. Sara the Northerner was assassinated in 1249, and her predecessor took her own life in 1247. The young warrior Asta II looks to retain what she has.


The great islands to Scandinavia's west have broken away from the empire, and now much of what was once called the British Isles are consolidated under the rule of Queen Karin II, who rules from a castle in southern Ireland.


The Kingdom of France still swears loyalty to the Great Western Invaders, even though the latter now only controls Paris and the fortress-city of Venice. The French have struck south towards the Mediterranean coast, where they clash with the Kingdom of Burgundy, and the Sunni Emirates of Provence and Toulouse.


The Umayyads cannot believe their luck. They have seized the title of the Caliphate by right. They have recovered much of the east. A succession of just and capable rulers have restored the prosperity of the lands they recover. The Great Western Invaders, in one last desperate invasion, have shattered their rivals in the Kingdom of Badajoz, a fruitless struggle that left the kingdom in ruins, easy pickings for the Umayyads to recover.


To their south is the kingdom in the Maghreb. Formed out of several rump states left behind after the near-total collapse of the Umayyads, Sultan Beddis is a just and charismatic ruler - although he has turned away from Sunni Islam into something entirely different.


To his south, Mali is the clear regional hegemon. Mansa M'Bali III Cissé is the clear overlord of the Hausa, the Songhay, Ghana, and Mali. Much of this was the work of his grandfather, Safiatou II, but the kingdom is stable in the absence of any clear challenges.


Ethiopia broke away from the Jerusalem Raj in the chaos of civil war and palace intrigue. King Bekele 'the Liberator' founds a new dynasty, although he has retained in many respects the belief system that the conquerors from the east have brought with them.

Ferrovanadium
Mar 22, 2013

APEX PREDATOR

-MOST AMMUNITION EXPENDED ON CIVILIANS 2015-PRESENT
-WORST KDR VS CIVILIANS 2015-PRESENT

So is Catholicism just slowly devolving into a cannibal cult...?

Xelkelvos
Dec 19, 2012

Ferrovanadium posted:

So is Catholicism just slowly devolving into a cannibal cult...?

The cannibalistic corpse of Catholicism.

MaxieSatan
Oct 19, 2017

critical support for anarchists

Ferrovanadium posted:

So is Catholicism just slowly devolving into a cannibal cult...?

We can only hope!

i81icu812
Dec 5, 2006

Ferrovanadium posted:

So is Catholicism just slowly devolving into a cannibal cult...?

A very literal interpretation of the communion sacrament

i81icu812
Dec 5, 2006
It looks like there are valid duchies for Timur to spawn in, can you take a look and see if he has shown up yet?

Earliest possible appearance is 1200

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Kangxi posted:

STATE OF THE WORLD - 1250

To their south is the kingdom in the Maghreb. Formed out of several rump states left behind after the near-total collapse of the Umayyads, Sultan Beddis is a just and charismatic ruler - although he has turned away from Sunni Islam into something entirely different.

Please say it's Yazidi.

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


The You-christ

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

i81icu812 posted:

A very literal interpretation of the communion sacrament
When transubstantiation is just not real enough

Pacho
Jun 9, 2010

Ferrovanadium posted:

So is Catholicism just slowly devolving into a cannibal cult...?

:unsmigghh:

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

i81icu812 posted:

It looks like there are valid duchies for Timur to spawn in, can you take a look and see if he has shown up yet?

Earliest possible appearance is 1200

Can you mod Timur to be a Khazar? I want maximum Religion Thunderdome.

MaxieSatan
Oct 19, 2017

critical support for anarchists

SirPhoebos posted:

Can you mod Timur to be a Khazar? I want maximum Religion Thunderdome.

Timur shows up and he's a Samaritan Khazar rallying against both the Rabbinic and Karaite factions

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

SirPhoebos posted:

Can you mod Timur to be a Khazar? I want maximum Religion Thunderdome.

Oh I like this.

MaxieSatan posted:

Timur shows up and he's a Samaritan Khazar rallying against both the Rabbinic and Karaite factions

Oh, I like this even more.

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."

Ferrovanadium posted:

So is Catholicism just slowly devolving into a cannibal cult...?

There are multiple pope cannibals. I have not seen as many kings do this.

SirPhoebos posted:

Please say it's Yazidi.

He is, in fact, Yazidi.

i81icu812 posted:

It looks like there are valid duchies for Timur to spawn in, can you take a look and see if he has shown up yet?

Earliest possible appearance is 1200

No signs of Timur yet, but I will be keeping an eye out for him. He may be slightly different than our Timur, as well.

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Kangxi posted:

No signs of Timur yet, but I will be keeping an eye out for him. He may be slightly different than our Timur, as well.

Let me guess: he'll have the Hare Lip trait instead of Club Foot?

"Sire! Timur the Rabbit marches on Baghdad!"
"Allah preserve us!"

Viola the Mad
Feb 13, 2010

Kangxi posted:

There are multiple pope cannibals. I have not seen as many kings do this.

...How many. How many popes have eaten people, and why.

Grizzwold
Jan 27, 2012

Posters off the pork bow!
The popes are probably bandwagoning on the aztec and norse traditions of human sacrifice to try and stay relevant.

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Viola the Mad posted:

...How many. How many popes have eaten people, and why.

If I had to guess?

Because they lost Rome, the Papal States haven't had a chance to build up the hospital in their home province. No hospital means diseases linger in the province longer, keeping the court sealed in. After the court is sealed in long enough, the ruler starts getting events where they can either suffer health penalties from food shortages, or start chowing down on members of the court that were caught taking more than their share of rations

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."

Viola the Mad posted:

...How many. How many popes have eaten people, and why.

Three: Caelestinus II 'Son of Lucifer' (r. 1033-1045), Innocentius III 'the Wicked' (r. 1079-1084), and the current Callistus IV 'the Uninvolved' (r. 1234-present).

We did have a lot more possessed popes than I remember, especially earlier on.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

I like how the titles of the pope's tones down over the years. First cannibal Pope is unbelievable. Second it's heresy, soon enough the faithful are just going to expect it as a given

Kangxi
Nov 12, 2016

"Too paranoid for you?"
"Not me, paranoia's the garlic in life's kitchen, right, you can never have too much."
Chapter 42: 1250 to 1253

Excerpt from A History of Medieval Tibet, published by Andrej Drobnič, Colchester University Press, 1979.

At midcentury, Tibet's empire still appeared to be continuous and stable.


The Han Emperor had passed away, and his successor was a warm and open figure, eager to cultivate relations with his neighbors in matters of trade and open movement.


The far west of the continent was embroiled in another invasion, this time between the 'Great Western Invaders' and the polytheistic kingdom in the Maghreb.


In early 1252, the Empress Lha II died suddenly. Surviving documentation from this period is scarce, but it is attested that she died of what was referred to in Tibet as the 'Western disease', or 'the Chinese disease', an old name for syphilis similar to our 'French disease', or what the French call 'the Italian disease'.


Her oldest son took the throne as Emperor Trisong II. He was described as a large, physically intimidating man from time spent in the Imperial Guard, but he had grown fat after years out of it. The written sources describe him as a man who delighted in petty cruelty, often taunting animals or weaker courtiers, but this may be the result of biased source writings.

He also was inordinately fond of Chinese culture and spoke the language with some fluidity. This would not usually be a problem in Tibet, as many Chinese visitors passed through the court and nobles made their fortunes in China, but it was his own blatant disregard for the ancestral religion that damaged his reputation.


So much so that an angry crowd revolted only upon hearing the news that he would take the throne.


The emperor was not completely foolish - he had arranged for the internment of his mother in a respectful ritual.


However, his open disregard of the state church and its rituals drew the ire of the nobility and the priesthood. The nature of his belief was never explicitly described, but a notice decrying his use of 'talismans' has led more than one scholar to suggest that he was a follower of the Way of Orthodox Unity, or the Zhengyi Dao.


His practice of consulting star charts had more ambiguous origins.


Nevertheless, his numerous opponents in the nobility, the army, the church, and even the southern petty nobility, believed and publicly announced that he intended to overthrow the past Empire of Tibet and remake it to be more like the Han - with a more entrenched bureaucracy, curtailing the rights of the church and nobility. As such, their antagonism to him may be partially drawn out of self-preservation, and not strictly a conflict in belief systems.


The rebellion against him started less than a year after his ascension to the throne. The leader of the rebellion was Taktse Degyal, known as 'the Dragon'. His family had been vassal kings of Kashmir and ruled out of the city of Srinagar since the branch of the Purgyals that ruled it went extinct in the Black Plague in the 1090s.


Degyal was not alone - he had cultivated the support of the vassal kings of Bengal, Orissa, the Punjab, the lords of Delhi, Masahrastrha, and of the Tamils. In short, he had the backing of the rulers of some of the most prosperous and cultivated lands of the entire empire. In retrospect, this makes the outcome of the war appear inevitable, but recall that this was a time where aristocracy and individual lords played an outside role in decision making and that not all of the wealthiest lords rebelled.


The emperor gathered the armies of the lands around Lhasa, his Imperial Guard, and a contingent of Chinese mercenaries and marched them west.


The battle was a success for the imperial loyalists, but the emperor himself was said to be shaken and only barely survived the encounter.


Again, recall the bias of the existing sources, who might want to stain even the few victories he had.


But it is not impossible that the emperor was shaken by the battle.


And how he became completely withdrawn from his remaining court and generals,


Preferring to spend time with his star charts, which promised him knowledge of the future.


The loyalist and rebel armies met near the sacred Govardhan Hill.


The loyalists fought bravely,


But their center and flank were soon overwhelmed.


The battle broke the back of the loyalist forces, and any further resistance was impossible.


The terms were direct and simple. The imperial throne would pass to Degyal and he would rule from Kashmir. The Purgyals would remain kings of Ü- Tsang. There was no real room for discussion, and it is a testament to Degyal's personality that he did not take the imperial family captive.


A few days after the battle, right before the treaty was to take effect, the emperor is said to have written a brief note apologizing to his family and his esteemed ancestors, and then lept off a balcony.


His fifteen-year-old daughter would succeed him as Queen of Ü-Tsang.

After nearly one thousand four hundred years, the Purgyal dynasty had lost its place as the preeminent rulers of Tibet in a manner of months.


Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.
huh. So, that's a thing that happened.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply