Discomfort food

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joke_explainer

Hugh Malone posted:

a perfectly broiled t bone before you get exwcuted for a murder you did not commit

�Well. The steak is delicious, but this unjust execution thing has me very uncomfortable.�

# ? Jun 3, 2019 16:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 17:18

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

OMG joke_explainer has started explaining jokes again behold the true harbinger of summer

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Jun 3, 2019 16:37

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

prepuce repurposed posted:

OMG joke_explainer has started explaining jokes again behold the true harbinger of summer

hamburger of summer

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Jun 3, 2019 16:53

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

a three course meal including rare steak of the best cut. served with a nagging feeling of wasted potential and inadequacy

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 3, 2019 17:11

Korean Boomhauer

eating a salad and trying to fart quietly and ending up honking a loud one right when the table conversation quiets

# ? Jun 3, 2019 17:38

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

google THIS posted:

Sugar free gummy bears

# ? Jun 3, 2019 18:11

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

asking if doordash will deliver hospital cafeteria food to my house

# ? Jun 3, 2019 18:13

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

an entire block of cheese and a box of Imodium

# ? Jun 3, 2019 19:35

The Klowner: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Steak and eggs (the eggs are all the ones your wife froze before her hysterectomy)

# ? Jun 4, 2019 16:43

The Klowner: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Yellow cake. Has a really nuclear aftertaste.

# ? Jun 4, 2019 16:45

The Klowner: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Leftovers sandwich: turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, your mother's Munchausen syndrome, your uncle's sports obsession, and your grandfather's backwards views stemming from an subconscious extensional dread, all on a dinner roll

# ? Jun 4, 2019 16:48

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

The Clowner posted:

Leftovers sandwich: turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, your mother's Munchausen syndrome, your uncle's sports obsession, and your grandfather's backwards views stemming from an subconscious extensional dread, all on a dinner roll

Because when you're here, you're family

# ? Jun 4, 2019 19:11

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

the last piece of pizza, that 2 other people were staring at.
they say they don't mind but you can tell they're just being polite

# ? Jun 5, 2019 05:16

redm

microwaved taco bell

_{sig by Manifisto}

# ? Jun 5, 2019 05:44

super sweet best pal

google THIS posted:

Sugar free gummy bears

By that metric, prune juice is the ultimate discomfort food. Get a nice and smooth bowel movement out of it but it tastes horrible.

# ? Jun 5, 2019 11:41

Space Taxi

Spaghetti on a first date

# ? Jun 5, 2019 14:19

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Space Taxi posted:

Spaghetti on a first date

Spaghetti on a last date

# ? Jun 5, 2019 18:57

Thunder Moose: S.J.C.

Who toucha ma spaghett!?

# ? Jun 5, 2019 22:29

Lovely Primate

swamp rear end and butt hash

# ? Jun 5, 2019 22:36

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

butt rear end with swamp hash and a side of nutmeats

# ? Jun 5, 2019 22:47

Lovely Primate

hamjobs posted:

butt rear end with swamp hash and a side of nutmeats

listen pal, no comfort foods allowed itt

# ? Jun 6, 2019 00:13

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Lovely Primate posted:

listen pal, no comfort foods allowed itt

I swear to God you will let me have this, it's my Nana's recipe

# ? Jun 6, 2019 00:18

Lovely Primate

hamjobs posted:

I swear to God you will let me have this, it's my Nana's recipe

legalize swamp hash imho

# ? Jun 6, 2019 01:24

Lovely Primate

A copy of the song "One In A Million" by the band Guns N roses, on vinyl, coarsely ground and sprinkled over a sourdough bagel

# ? Jun 6, 2019 01:25

super sweet best pal

Hot dogs while watching how they're made.

# ? Jun 6, 2019 10:59

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

a cup of coffee, the gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach of h. pylori, and an entire red velvet cupcake.

# ? Jun 7, 2019 16:27

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Your eating a nice plate of spaghetti with extra sauce and wondering what's so juicy in it when you notice that there's live worms mixed in with the noddles

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Jun 7, 2019 16:40

Finger Prince

Sex-scene-comes-on-while-watching-a movie-with-your-parents-popcorn.

# ? Jun 7, 2019 16:50

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

the restaurant chairs are somewhat uneven and keeps wobbling slightly as you lean. there is a slight draft, making the room a little too cold for comfort, the staff is constantly preoccupied, forcing you to awkwardly get up to them and ask for service. when they do so, they end up lingering half a minute or so by the table too long. the orders routinely get mixed up between the tables

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 7, 2019 17:47

Finger Prince

A diner where they keep the plates somewhere cold so when you get the eggs and beans, the middle stays warm for a little while, but the edges get cold like instantly and you either have a choice of eating the cold bits first by which time the rest is a gross lukewarm temperature, or eating the warm bits first before they cool off and being left with a bunch of gross cold egg white at the end.

# ? Jun 7, 2019 20:29

Finger Prince

Pizza where the dough is stretched so thin, it can't reliably hold more than two toppings without losing all integrity, and also they still managed to undercook it so it's a sloppy mess to start with regardless.

# ? Jun 7, 2019 20:32

Finger Prince

A restaurant that tries to be a really scene place and the waitstaff and maitre d are really condescending and can't be assed, and the food is overpriced and mediocre at best, and the tip setting on the card machine is set to 20% by default.

# ? Jun 7, 2019 20:36

Finger Prince

A trendy pub where you wait at the empty bar for 15 minutes to get served while the bartender studiously ignores you and you ask for a pint of peroni and he says £10 and you say loving hell, you charging by the hour for that?, implying the inordinately long wait to be served despite being the only person waiting to be served, and he just gives you this blank look because he's a oval office and so is everyone else in this lovely place, why would anyone drink here, there's dozens of better places to go.

-The Pitcher and Piano, Richmond, London.

# ? Jun 7, 2019 20:43

Finger Prince

Watching other diners at a hamburger restaurant eat their hamburgers with a knife and fork.

# ? Jun 7, 2019 20:44

Finger Prince

Wanting a steak at a restaurant and then seeing that it's 3x the price of everything else on the menu and probably not 3x better than anything else on the menu, but you'll never know for sure because you just can't bring yourself to spend that much on dinner, and also not really seeing much else you want, so you just order the disappointing burger and smile and say everything was great when the waitress asks how everything was. The fries were soggy.

# ? Jun 7, 2019 20:59

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Finger Prince posted:

Pizza where the dough is stretched so thin, it can't reliably hold more than two toppings without losing all integrity, and also they still managed to undercook it so it's a sloppy mess to start with regardless.

...imo's?

# ? Jun 7, 2019 21:43