Working the system

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Working the system

google THIS

Friend: Hey man, why does your calendar say it's "Junember?"

Me: No reason. Oyster?

# ? Jun 10, 2019 23:36

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 02:32

bird.

jersey mike's shore club gives u a free sub on your birthday, but does not specifically stipulate that it has to be your legal birthday, and says nothing along the lines that it cant be the birthday of one of your personas, or many criminal aliases, and so i've been having more birthdays this year

# ? Jun 11, 2019 02:54

Manifisto

barista: hold the what now?

me: as I said, I want a tall frappucino, hold the not-trenta

barista: I don't even know what that means

me: it's a double negative. I want to buy a tall frappucino, at the standard price, but I want you to remove the limitation that says this frappucino has to be your smallest size, and instead give me your largest size in your largest cup. you're allowed to "hold" anything and it's totally free, this is simple

barista: . . .

me: also hold the not giving me a free oatmeal apricot scone

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jun 11, 2019 03:16

Macnult

it is my legal right to receive another sample when i put on this groucho marx disguise

# ? Jun 11, 2019 03:59

Macnult

i even bought the disguise from this same establishment look i still have the receipt yes i�m aware this is from over a year ago

# ? Jun 11, 2019 04:00

google THIS

Sauntering into a store wearing only shoes and a shirt.

# ? Jun 11, 2019 04:20

lol but: body is a dinosaur

they say perpetual motion is impossible but i stole all these batteries

# ? Jun 11, 2019 04:37

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

google THIS posted:

Sauntering into a store wearing only shoes and a shirt.

sign outside hastily rewritten to add "NO PANTS NO CHANCE"

# ? Jun 11, 2019 06:48

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

cashier asks if i found everything ok, and i snort and nod with a smirk

it wasn't true though. why was the tomato paste in the "ethnic foods" aisle instead of by the other canned vegetables?

# ? Jun 11, 2019 06:53

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Blasting through the school zone at 17 mph

# ? Jun 11, 2019 23:08

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

snorting cocaine with a crazy straw

# ? Jun 11, 2019 23:18

alnilam

google THIS posted:

Sauntering into a store wearing only shoes and a shirt.

canyoneer posted:

sign outside hastily rewritten to add "NO PANTS NO CHANCE"

lol

# ? Jun 11, 2019 23:19

google THIS

Having loyalty cards from two competing stores.

# ? Jun 11, 2019 23:21

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

google THIS posted:

Having loyalty cards from two competing stores.

Use them at the rival store only :getin:

# ? Jun 11, 2019 23:26

FutonForensic

canyoneer posted:

sign outside hastily rewritten to add "NO PANTS NO CHANCE"

# ? Jun 12, 2019 00:01

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

The sign says "buy one breakfast special get the other free" so serve me up one on a plate and slide the other one in my front pants pockets and I'll be on my merry way :tipshat:

# ? Jun 12, 2019 00:15

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 02:32

Piney

tldr

# ? Jun 14, 2019 21:52

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Working the system