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Help with cramps? Lamia the Lamia loves cuddling because she's cold. Normally that's great, cause girls smell nice, right? Well see, her cursed lips sap all the warmpth from my body and leave me paralyzed in an exaggerated pose for the rest of the scene. How can I deal with the cramping that ensues after holding the pose for so long? My (19M) new GF (344F) unsure how to proceed. . . OK OK hear me out: You fall for the shy quiet girl in the back of your French poetry class. Normal, right? She always wears baggy sweaters, even over her arms, but you figure that's just the quirky girl being quirky. Surprise! She's actually a harpy, not just wearing harpy-leg boots. Her "hands" are the folded over tips of her wings, which are unkempt from hiding under the sweater. Thankfully, now that she's revealed herself to me she can groom and preen to her heart's content. How do I gently caress a cloacea? Is there a trick to it or do I just lube it up and go to town. Rules for dating the cursed offspring of a mad inventor? Soooooooo, Yours Truly went for some UrbEx in that labyrinth under the Illegal Party Toilet museum, right? You know the place. My girl Shandraea wanted to snap some lewds for the 'Gram, and I was all like "it violates my parole but whatever." So we mess around a bit and make it to the middle. It turns out labyrinths are actually stupid easy to navigate cuz it's just one long spinny path. Not like a maze at all, IDK why people think these words mean the same. Anyway, we find this totally buff cow-headed dude with, dunno, a billion abs? Like, way too many abs. Shandraea thinks it's beastiality to gently caress a cow-headed fella whompst isn't an Egyptian god but I think I mostly want to break me off a piece of that manotaur. How do I get him to notice me? Roll around in a salt lick? Dip myself in honey and oats? mantis wife favorite food how to gently caress mantis wife mantis decapitation myth (THREE HOURS LATER) how to discover husbands secret life insurance |
# ? Jun 12, 2019 05:51 |
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# ? Apr 24, 2024 08:12 |
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huh?
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# ? Jun 12, 2019 05:54 |
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Lamia the Lamia loves cuddling because she's cold, so she gets to suck him out of water. Then she eats his tongue and his balls in the bathtub, before kissing him and making him cum through his butt. (via Naughty Bits)
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# ? Jun 12, 2019 05:59 |
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# ? Jun 12, 2019 06:06 |
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Mantis Cop looked up from his desk, "So you're the one that's been taking down all these people, why aren't you using this to kill me?" "My name is... Mantis Cop, I'm just trying to get my name out. It's illegal to keep killing, so I figured I could at least help some of you. I'll take you on and maybe get some of those people you're after. No one would trust a robot like me with your life, so if this is going to save your life, I'll go ahead and get the credits. Just let me know, I'll handle it." Mantis Cop turned and looked at someone else on the desk, and then turned back to the camera. All eyes turned to him in wonder as he smiled. The camera zoomed around the room and shot towards each of the two figures, they disappeared into the shadows. The door to the computer room opened, as the door closed, and a new and very familiar man was walking down the long hallway behind them. "I got it, you've been here a long time. You've got a little way to go, but at least you could start looking to the future. I'll tell you things your life has ever been really boring, I'll even offer a chance to make you feel more like your father or your best friend." "I don't have father
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# ? Jun 12, 2019 06:11 |
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:mantis wife favorite food |
# ? Jun 12, 2019 06:17 |
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:how to be a mantis cop in hell the Mr. Vampire Saga movies got really weird after they changed directors basically we're dating monsters and positing the kinds of relationship questions which might arise therein crimes |
# ? Jun 12, 2019 06:28 |
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gf wont stop talking about ex well, i say 'talking' but she mostly just screams. won't shut up about her ex "frankie". says he was more men than i could ever be, but looks shocked when i say i wanna break up! what should i do? -confused in ingolstadt |
# ? Jun 12, 2019 06:40 |
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Hugh Malone posted:gf wont stop talking about ex empty quoting my own bride of Frankenstein joke |
# ? Aug 10, 2019 00:00 |
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weirdest possible poo poo your monster ex ever did |
# ? Aug 10, 2019 00:01 |
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Adventurer (after being charmed): Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Eye of the Beholder: drat right! You'll do... **adds adventurer to harem* |
# ? Aug 10, 2019 00:18 |
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My[34M] medusa girlfriend[780F] got a butt injection and now she's got a HUGE BOOTY. I can't look at her face or I'll turn to stone, but I can't acknowledge her backside either! What do I do??
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# ? Aug 10, 2019 00:39 |
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Kraken took the kids away. |
# ? Aug 10, 2019 14:05 |
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Mantis Cop looked up from his desk, "So you're the one that's been taking down all these people, why aren't you using this to kill me?" "My name is... Mantis Cop, I'm just trying to get my name out. It's illegal to keep killing, so I figured I could at least help some of you. I'll take you on and maybe get some of those people you're after. No one would trust a robot like me with your life, so if this is going to save your life, I'll go ahead and get the credits. Just let me know, I'll handle it." Mantis Cop turned and looked at someone else on the desk, and then turned back to the camera. All eyes turned to him in wonder as he smiled. The camera zoomed around the room and shot towards each of the two figures, they disappeared into the shadows. The door to the computer room opened, as the door closed, and a new and very familiar man was walking down the long hallway behind them. "I got it, you've been here a long time. You've got a little way to go, but at least you could start looking to the future. I'll tell you things your life has ever been really boring, I'll even offer a chance to make you feel more like your father or your best friend." "I don't have father BYOBbot took the 10mg melatonin last night I see. |
# ? Aug 10, 2019 17:40 |
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I get it OP. You want us to make an "octopussy" joke. Well I'm not stooping to you're level! You know why? Because me and Octomom (not the tabloid one, she has eight tentacles instead of arms and legs) are in love and I would never make crass jokes like that about the woman I care so deeply for! |
# ? Aug 11, 2019 08:27 |
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walked in on dullahan fiancé sitting on his own face |
# ? Aug 11, 2019 10:30 |
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Cubone posted:walked in on dullahan fiancé sitting on his own face
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# ? Aug 11, 2019 11:23 |
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Cubone posted:walked in on dullahan fiancé sitting on his own face
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# ? Aug 11, 2019 19:06 |
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# ? Apr 24, 2024 08:12 |
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Turns out the real monster was you |
# ? Aug 11, 2019 19:30 |