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I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Former football and movie star (among other things) O.J Simpson has just created an account on noted hell website twitter.

According to CNN, he won't be commenting on "the LA thing":

quote:

“Mr. Simpson is the most positive person I’ve ever met,” LaVergne told CNN. “He’s also very well informed on current events. He will not be negative. Nor will he comment on the LA thing. It will be one of the best accounts on Twitter to follow.”

https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/16/us/oj-simpson-twitter-record-trnd/index.html

O.J Makes his debut:

https://twitter.com/TheRealOJ32/status/1139743663737622529

O.J wishes you a Happy Father's Day:

https://twitter.com/TheRealOJ32/status/1140076529478594561

O.J says he is not the father of Khloe Kardashian

https://twitter.com/TheRealOJ32/status/1140435173659426816

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mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

People keep trying to "burn" him with 25 year-old jokes about White Broncos and stabbings, like homeboy is doing anything but letting some 24 year-old PR graduate handle his poo poo.

Trumps Baby Hands
Mar 27, 2016

Silent white light filled the world. And the righteous and unrighteous alike were consumed in that holy fire.
Did he ever get his stuff back

no pubes yet sorry
Sep 11, 2003

OJ appears to be pretty rich and comfortable so who gives a gently caress about that washed up old murderer?

Spaced God
Feb 8, 2014

All torment, trouble, wonder and amazement
Inhabits here: some heavenly power guide us
Out of this fearful country!



Y'all missed that once his account was up for like 45 minutes someone hacked it and just tweeted out "I killed her" and a bunch of stuff in support of "his friend r kelly"

Ritznit
Dec 19, 2012

I'm crackers for cheese.

Ultra Carp
He has to get even, huh.

End of Shoelace
Apr 5, 2016
hey guys. i wonder if *titter* i wonder *chuckle* wait, wait. i wonder if OJ... let the juices of *hee haw* his victims loose!!! *big heaving gulps of belly laughs*

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


You can't squeeze the juice.

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:


mind the walrus posted:

People keep trying to "burn" him with 25 year-old jokes about White Broncos and stabbings, like homeboy is doing anything but letting some 24 year-old PR graduate handle his poo poo.

I still laughed though.

homeless guy
Feb 23, 2019

by FactsAreUseless

Spaced God posted:

Y'all missed that once his account was up for like 45 minutes someone hacked it and just tweeted out "I killed her" and a bunch of stuff in support of "his friend r kelly"

OJ's account had a lowercase l in "Real" and the account that tweeted "I killed her: and stuff had a capital I

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
drat 611k followers already people really want to see what he has to say

The Dregs
Dec 29, 2005

MY TREEEEEEEE!
I thought he was dead. Weird.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug

The Dregs posted:

I thought he was dead. Weird.

It is generally believed he was the killer, not the killee.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
I thought he was in prison. Not for the murders mind you, but crimes against property. The serious stuff.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
https://twitter.com/BillCosby/status/1140439088241217537

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
uh

is twitter the new prison?

homeless guy
Feb 23, 2019

by FactsAreUseless

Icochet posted:

I thought he was in prison. Not for the murders mind you, but crimes against property. The serious stuff.

In 2008, he was convicted and sentenced to 33 years imprisonment, with a minimum of nine years without parole.[2] He served his sentence at the Lovelock Correctional Center near Lovelock, Nevada.[3] Simpson was granted parole on July 20, 2017. He was eligible for release from prison on October 1, 2017, and was released on that date.

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!

Icochet posted:

uh

is twitter the new prison?

There's lots of neo nazis there and none of the people in positions of power are doing anything about them while they openly plot to kill gay people so yeah

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Anyone see that "People Vs OJ Simpson" series? David Schwimmer plays the almost convincing role of a human male and Cuba Gooding Jr. reprises his role as Rod Tidwell of Jerry Maguire the 1996 American romantic comedy-drama sports movie.

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qRoqmSpOGE

Paul Revere 3000
Dec 8, 2007

So like a pimp I'm pimpin'
I got a boat to eat shrimp in
Nothing wrong with my leg
I'm just B-boy limpin'


Cant goose the juice

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

The_Continental posted:

Anyone see that "People Vs OJ Simpson" series? David Schwimmer plays the almost convincing role of a human male and Cuba Gooding Jr. reprises his role as Rod Tidwell of Jerry Maguire the 1996 American romantic comedy-drama sports movie.

I tried but John travolta is so grotesque now I couldn't keep going

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie
If the Tweet don't fit (within the 150 character limit) you must acquit.

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth

CJacobs posted:

There's lots of neo nazis there and none of the people in positions of power are doing anything about them while they openly plot to kill gay people so yeah

Twitter is run by sperglords who want to purge the rest of humanity simply because they're incapable of feeling sympathy for humans, so they're supportive of neo nazis even though the sperglords will purge them too once their army of death bots is complete.

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

Father’s Day seems like the perfect time to deny rumours that he fathered a bastard

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

remember when oj got off because the racist-rear end lapd tried to frame a guy who was guilty and got caught lmao cops

Crypto Cobain
Jun 17, 2018

by Reene

Icochet posted:

uh

is twitter the new prison?
Lmfao

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

remember when oj got off because the racist-rear end lapd tried to frame a guy who was guilty and got caught lmao cops
Yep. Cops bad.

Nut to Butt
Apr 13, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
welcome, OJ

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015

Can’t we get OJ an account on here?

Kaiju Cage Match
Nov 5, 2012




One tweet, two tweet, three tweet four, now The Juice is at your doo

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
OJ is canceled

ProperCauldron
Oct 11, 2004

nah chill
OJ killed a relationship for me.

A couple years ago I was dating a girl. She had to go to Los Angeles for a work thing. On Facebook she posted a few photos of her with OJ saying she just ran into him. She didn't understand why her coworkers didn't want to meet him, or why her company made her take down the photos. She couldn't grasp why a make up company wouldn't want their employee associated with a man who brutally murdered people.

Even two weeks later the story still excited her. She'd light up when I brought up the subject.

I realized she was stupid, had groupie tendencies, and dumped her.

Mnoba
Jun 24, 2010
welcome juice to the tweetr

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant
Did you at least unleash the juice before you broke up?

Tane
Feb 27, 2005

twitter more like murder

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here
Nap Ghost
I feel like a lot of people don't know that he was really, really good at football, in addition to the murder stuff

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here
Nap Ghost
They know he's famous for football but maybe not that he was an all time great RB, he once ran 2000 yard season in the 70s, 14 games

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat
he was also the first to have a 2000 yard rushing season

dude was a legend

ninjoatse.cx
Apr 9, 2005

Fun Shoe

Tane posted:

twitter more like murder

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ninjoatse.cx
Apr 9, 2005

Fun Shoe

Supreme Allah posted:

I feel like a lot of people don't know that he was really, really good at football, in addition to the murder stuff

He's like the Bo Jackson of football and murdering people instead of football and baseball.

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