|
chitoryu12 posted:Tomorrow, you all start seeing for yourself just what wild poo poo Edward Cullen was getting up to during Twilight. And you won't believe your eyes. You are a hero! 
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 02:28
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 05:59 |
|
|
Oh yeah, remember how a few times I pointed out how Meyer seems to have accidentally wrote Bella/Alice shipping in the previous books? It happens in Midnight Sun. A lot. A frankly worrying amount.
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 03:29
|
|
|
So do none of the female hybrids have venom at all? Don't the Twilight vampires use venom in their bodies to basically heal all their permanent injuries and give them the super strength and junk?
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 11:48
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:Oh yeah, remember how a few times I pointed out how Meyer seems to have accidentally wrote Bella/Alice shipping in the previous books? I'm writing it off to my impression that Meyer has no idea how to write emotionally close and intimate relationships that aren't romantic.
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 12:39
|
|
|
MorgaineDax posted:So do none of the female hybrids have venom at all? Don't the Twilight vampires use venom in their bodies to basically heal all their permanent injuries and give them the super strength and junk? Yes, and I guess Nahuel is the only hybrid in existence who generates venom for....reasons.
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 13:02
|
|
|
 Chapter 1: First Sight (Here comes the general) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (Here comes the general) THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR (Here comes the general) THE PRIDE OF SOMETHING AWFUL (Here comes the general) quote:This was the time of day when I most wished I was able to sleep. THE EMO IN WASHINGTON quote:I stared at the cracks running through the plaster in the far corner of the cafeteria, imagining patterns into them that were not there. It was one way to tune out the voices that babbled like the gush of a river inside my head. Edward Cullen wastes no time in establishing himself as the world's biggest douchebag. As you'll quickly find out, his loathing of humanity is only overshadowed by his embodiment of all of the traits he claims to despise. The boy who scoffs at how petty and trivial humans are is, in fact, the most petty one in the school with the most obsession with trivial details. And it gets absurd. quote:Only four voices did I block out of courtesy rather than distaste: my family, my two brothers and two sisters, who were so used to the lack of privacy in my presence that they rarely worried about it. I gave them what I could. I tried not to listen if I could help it. It must be absolute hell knowing that you're living with someone who not only reads your mind, but can't help it. It's always on 24/7. Every one of your private thoughts will get blasted into his brain unless he specifically tries to pretend he's not noticing it. quote:Rosalie was thinking, as usual, about herself—her mind was a stagnant pool with few surprises. She’d caught sight of her profile in the reflection off someone’s glasses, and she was mulling over her own perfection. No one else’s hair was closer to true gold, no one else’s shape was quite so perfectly an hourglass, no one else’s face was such a flawless, symmetrical oval. She didn’t compare herself to the humans here; that juxtaposition would have been laughable, absurd. She thought of others like us, none of them her equal. And the first thing we see of Rosalie is this disgusting paragraph. Meyer has admitted in a recent interview about the book to hating Rosalie, despite the complexity she tried to give her, and thus has been purposefully writing her as a shrill harpy who's always wrong. The statements she's made about her own difficulties growing up as a meek brunette in school and the comparisons to Bella as a self-insert suggest that she still has a lot of pent-up issues about her time in school. quote:Emmett’s usually carefree expression was crumpled with frustration. Even now, he ran one enormous hand through his ebony curls, twisting the hair into his fist. Still fuming over the wrestling match he’d lost to Jasper during the night. It would take all his limited patience to make it to the end of the school day to orchestrate a rematch. Hearing Emmett’s thoughts never felt intrusive, because he never thought one thing that he would not say aloud or put into action. Perhaps I only felt guilty reading the others’ minds because I knew there were things inside that they wouldn’t want me to know. If Rosalie’s mind was a stagnant pool, then Emmett’s was a lake with no shadows, glass clear.  quote:And Jasper was… suffering. I suppressed a sigh. Is there anything new? quote:Edward. Alice called my name in her head and had my attention at once. At the time Edward Masen was born for real in 1901, "Edward" was the 9th most popular name for boys. In 1987 when his new identity would have been "born", it was #61. Not a name you see everywhere, but hardly a rarity. Even with the popularity of Twilight, the name hasn't been in the Top 100 since 1997. The best explanation I have is that Meyer was looking at baby name popularity when she wrote. quote:My head didn’t turn now. Alice and I were good at these private conversations. It was rare that anyone caught us. I kept my eyes on the lines in the plaster. I'm pretty sure pre-Bella, a frown was his neutral expression. quote:Jasper had been still for too long. He wasn’t performing human ticks the way we all must, constantly in motion so as not to stand out, like Emmett pulling at his hair, Rosalie crossing her legs first one way then the next, Alice tapping her toes against the linoleum, or me, moving my head to stare at different patterns in the wall. Jasper looked paralyzed, his lean form ramrod straight, even his honey hair seeming not to react to the air wafting from the vents. Again, I don't get why vampires just lose all of their human habits that aren't even related to comfort (like shifting weight to another leg). quote:Alice’s mental tone was alarmed now, and I saw in her mind that she was watching Jasper in her peripheral vision. Is there any danger? She searched ahead into the immediate future, skimming through visions of monotony for the source behind my frown. Even as she did so, she remembered to tuck one tiny fist under her sharp chin and blink regularly. She brushed a tuft of her short, jagged black hair out of her eyes. If this is how the Cullens "play human", they're bad at it. Just staring glumly at everything around them and then leaving. quote:She relaxed. Let me know if it gets too bad. Nodding with your eyes is the silliest thing. quote:Thanks for doing this. Yes, this is a terrible idea! Remember how Jasper flew into a cannibalistic rage from a papercut? This confirms what we were thinking: he really does spend all of his time around humans just barely suppressing the urge for a feeding frenzy. quote:It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally—if a human walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close. Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand: We were a danger that must be avoided. Yes, we get it. Humans are pathetic and weak. Move on. To note something interesting, relatively little was added to or changed from the original 2008 leaked draft. One of the few changes (other than, amazingly, making the anti-Rosalie paragraph even longer) was this addition here for Edward to keep smugly turning his nose up at humanity. quote:At that moment, a small girl paused at the end of the closest table to ours, stopping to talk to a friend. She tossed her short, sandy hair, combing her fingers through it. The heaters blew her scent in our direction. I was used to the way that scent made me feel—the dry ache in my throat, the hollow yearn in my stomach, the automatic tightening of my muscles, the excess flow of venom in my mouth. If Meyer was intentionally writing this as a rape analogue, she should not have done that for characters who are supposed to be sympathetic. quote:I kicked his chair. So Alice saw in the future that her husband, the one who's always at risk of going rabid on everyone, was absolutely about to go kill this girl...and she did nothing but expect Edward to handle it. quote:“It helps a little if you think of them as people,” Alice suggested, her high, musical voice racing too fast for human ears to understand, if any had been close enough to hear. “Her name is Whitney. She has a baby sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?” So is thinking of humans as people not the default? quote:He would have to hunt tonight. It was ridiculous to take risks like this, trying to test his strength, to build his endurance. Jasper should just accept his limitations and work within them. Especially because if you fail, you kill people. quote:Alice sighed silently and stood, taking her tray of food—her prop, as it were—with her and leaving him alone. She knew when he’d had enough of her encouragement. Though Rosalie and Emmett were more flagrant about their relationship, it was Alice and Jasper who knew each other’s every need as well as their own. As if they could read minds, too—but only each other’s. And there it is: your love at first sight. Except it wasn't. It was looking at her for half a second and then moving on. Why did Edward fall in love? Read on! quote:Of course she’s already crushing on the Cullens, I heard the first thought continue. So first things first: Meyer wrote Edward back in 2007 as basically a sociopath with histrionic tendencies. Robert Pattinson was given the draft to read while filming the first movie, and it was a major driving factor in him hating the character. As you'll see going through this, Pattinson's acting was purposefully an exact duplicate of how he read Edward on the page. The second thing is that there's a lot of retroactive characterization changes in this book. Because of Meyer's lack of writing skill and worldbuilding, it's impossible to tell if it's characterization that she meant to include the first time around but was unable to figure out how to integrate and thus skipped altogether or if she's specifically responding to criticism of how she portrayed the characters by retroactively adding back in how she wants them to be perceived. The two who get hit the hardest (other than Rosalie, and Meyer comes back and begrudgingly fixes some of that later) are probably Mike and Jessica. Mike was a normal, if slightly annoying, kid with a crush who moved on without issue before becoming a sudden douchebag in New Moon and then disappearing almost entirely afterward, while Jessica behaved in a manner that's totally normal for a teenage girl and had very justifiable problems with Bella's behavior but was demonized by Bella as "traitorous" for not immediately accepting her back into their friend group. Midnight Sun "fixes" how we perceived them by letting Edward narrate all their inner thoughts so we can know that yes, Meyer truly was right all along in how she wrote them! They really were just terrible people we never should have felt sorry for! quote:Fat lot of good it will do her, Jessica went on. She’s really not even pretty. I don’t know why Eric is staring so much… or Mike. Remember how Renesmee was supposed to be a super genius who's "smarter than most adults" (I keep having to reference that because she actually loving said that guys) but would also suddenly revert to a toddler who goes "Shiny!" and grabs for sparkly objects before immediately destroying all of her toys, no matter how valuable? I'm starting to wonder if Meyer just thinks that's how people are with this metaphor coming in. quote:Everyone’s looking at me today, too, Jessica thought smugly. Isn’t it lucky Bella has two classes with me? I’ll bet Mike will want to ask me what she’s— I wasn't kidding about "petty and trivial." quote:“Jessica Stanley is giving the new Swan girl all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan,” I murmured to Emmett as a distraction. Edward is so obsessed with his self-image as a monster that he legitimately can't figure out why people just think he's kind of weird instead of a dangerous predator. quote:And the new girl? Is she disappointed in the gossip as well? Maybe if you made the barest effort to blend in, nobody would get it right! It's not like you guys have to make best friends with every human who comes your way, but this whole routine of "Show up in sports cars and designer clothes, buy food just to throw it out, spend all day staring at the walls and ignoring everyone when you're not making creepy faces at them, and getting the top scores in everything you actually take but mysteriously disappearing with changing eye colors every few weeks" is absolutely guaranteed to attract unwanted attention from teens who have nothing to do but gossip about the hot weird family! Seriously, I don't know if Meyer has just forgotten what teenagers are like, but they will make rumors about people at the snap of a finger. All you have to do is be kinda weird and suddenly the most random gossip will show up. The Cullens are a veritable rumor factory, and "They're a family of vampires!" would be the easiest loving rumor to make happen with how they look and act. quote:I heard nothing, though I listened close beside where Jessica’s frivolous internal monologue continued to gush. It was as if there were no one sitting beside her. How peculiar. Had the girl moved? That didn’t seem likely, as Jessica was still babbling at her. I looked up, feeling off-balance. Checking on my extra “hearing”—it wasn’t something I ever had to do. Yes. There's just nothing there. quote:Warm, inviting red stained her cheeks as she looked down, away from the embarrassing gaffe of getting caught staring at a stranger. It was good that Jasper was still gazing out the window. I didn’t like to imagine what that easy pooling of blood would do to his control. Once again reinforcing how dumb the vampires all were in Breaking Dawn when they can not only see blood under the skin, but it's specifically enticing to them. And none of them noticed it on Renesmee until told to calm down and focus. quote:The emotions had been as clear on her face as if they were spelled out in words: surprise, as she unknowingly absorbed the signs of the subtle differences between her kind and mine; curiosity, as she listened to Jessica’s tale; and something more… Fascination? It wouldn’t be the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey. Then, finally, the embarrassment. Now in retrospect, we can identify a big problem here. It's established in Breaking Dawn that "shields" like Bella are known to exist among the litany of possible vampire powers, and Edward already met Renata and recognized that there are defensive powers like that. But he's also aware that humans with potential powers as vampires can exhibit them before they transform, such as Alice having such strong clairvoyance that she was thrown in an asylum. Not to spoil anything, but this book later establishes even more (in the post-leak writing) that Edward really does know about this phenomenon and can recognize it in others. But in the original Twilight, he didn't. Bella just had a "private mind" that Edward couldn't read, providing a way to have a telepathic love interest who can't just see everything in her head and complicate things. That's why everyone else's powers worked flawlessly on her and the logic behind her shield broke down faster with each book. Realistically, Edward's first thought shouldn't have been amazement at this super unique specimen that he has to obsess over like he encountered a cryptid or something. Knowing what he knows, he should have thought "Oh, there's yet another human with powerful untapped psychic potential that would come out as a vampire!" This is likely a similar situation as the Forever Dawn debacle: Meyer was unwilling or unable to change more than she had to from the original story, and so she threw out any post-Twilight canon that could make her job harder. quote:All the voices I’d been blocking were suddenly shouting in my head. In a way, this isn't just a book about Edward. It's a book about everyone but Bella. Because he can read everyone's minds at all times whether he wants to or not, we get all of the detail that would otherwise only be present in a third-person omniscient narration. quote:I could hear them all, hear every insignificant thing they were thinking as it passed through their minds. But nothing at all from the new student with the deceptively communicative eyes. Is it deceptive because she's awful at communication? quote:And of course, I could hear what the girl said when she spoke to Jessica. I didn’t have to read minds to be able to hear her low, clear voice on the far side of the long room. Yeah, remember how much we liked Jessica in the first book and were appalled at how badly Bella was treating her in New Moon? Turns out we were meant to think she was a conniving slut who was only pretending to like her the entire time! Again, there's a lot of insecurities about growing up coming out in the high school scenes. When we first read this scene, Meyer outright stated in interviews that this was meant to be an analog to when she moved to Provo and suddenly found herself appealing and popular out of nowhere but it came off as a classic Mary Sue scene where everyone just instantly loves the main character unconditionally and wants to be her best friend. From a new angle though, it looks like the opposite: everyone who seems to like you is actually faking it and wants to hurt you, none of them can be trusted. quote:Beneath the transient humor, I felt a strange impulse, one I did not clearly understand. It had something to do with the vicious edge to Jessica’s thoughts that the new girl was unaware of.… I felt the strangest urge to step in between them, to shield Bella Swan from the darker workings of Jessica’s mind. What an odd thing to feel. Trying to ferret out the motivations behind the impulse, I examined the new girl one more time, through Jessica’s eyes now. My staring had attracted too much attention.  quote:Perhaps it was just some long-buried protective instinct—the strong for the weak. Somehow, this girl looked more fragile than her new classmates. Her skin was so translucent it was hard to believe it offered her much defense from the outside world. I could see the rhythmic pulse of blood through her veins under the clear, pale membrane.… But I should not concentrate on that. I was good at this life I’d chosen, but I was just as thirsty as Jasper and there was no point in inviting temptation. One thing that most fans have been in agreement on so far is that Bella is a lot more appealing to read about when we're not in her head. We don't see her constantly sighing at how hard it is having everyone fawning over her 24/7 and getting annoyed at her dad for trying to care about her. quote:“Shall we?” Rosalie murmured, interrupting my focus. Edward is supposed to be interpreted as lying to himself (why would he obsess over finding a way to read her mind if it's supposedly not worth it because she's a petty huuuuuman?), but the level of sociopathy just instantly kills any interest you can have in this guy. quote:“So, is the new one afraid of us yet?” Emmett asked, still waiting for my response to his earlier question. I want you to remember that he has two medical degrees, because this boy is not going to act like it later on. quote:In the classroom, I settled into my chair and let my books—props, again; they held nothing I didn’t already know—spill across the table. I was the only student who had a table to himself. The humans weren’t smart enough to know that they feared me, but their innate survival instincts were enough to keep them away. Yes, it's definitely their innate survival instincts. Not that you look and act like a budding school shooter. quote:The room slowly filled as they trickled in from lunch. I leaned back in my chair and waited for the time to pass. Again, I wished I were able to sleep. Because I’d been thinking about the new girl, when Angela Weber escorted her through the door, her name intruded on my attention. Of course the only person in school who's actually honest and likes Bella for real is also a shy and insecure girl! All the popular kids are just cruel bullies! quote:Yes! Mike Newton thought, turning in his seat to watch the girls enter. Oh, I dunno. You'd just still be one of the most powerful beings on Earth. quote:The girl walked down the aisle beside me, headed to the teacher’s desk. Poor girl; the seat next to me was the only one available. Automatically, I cleared what would be her side of the table, shoving my books into a pile. I doubted she would feel very comfortable there. She was in for a long semester—in this class, at least. Perhaps, though, sitting beside her, I’d be able to flush out her thoughts’ hiding place… not that I’d ever needed close proximity before. Not that I would find anything worth listening to.  quote:Her scent hit me like a battering ram, like an exploding grenade. There was no image violent enough to encompass the force of what happened to me in that moment. In case anyone was wondering how close Edward was to snapping and going back to murder at any time! quote:Thirst burned through my throat like fire. My mouth felt baked and desiccated, and the fresh flow of venom did nothing to dispel that sensation. My stomach twisted with the hunger that was an echo of the thirst. My muscles coiled to spring. Super awesome vampire eyes that can only see what the plot tells them to! quote:The shock of the face I saw there saved her life for a few thorny moments. Nobody could tell Renesmee wasn't a vampire despite being able to see blood under the skin. quote:She walked more quickly now, as if she understood the need to escape. Her haste made her clumsy—she tripped and stumbled forward, almost falling into the girl seated in front of me. Vulnerable, weak. Even more than usual for a human. "Pathetic." quote:I tried to focus on the face I’d seen in her eyes, a face I recognized with revulsion. The face of the monster inside me—the face I’d beaten back with decades of effort and uncompromising discipline. How easily it sprang to the surface now! No, Bella did not see any sign of Edward smashing his hand through the loving desk as she walked up to the table. quote:Destroy evidence. Collateral damage… chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 14:15 on Aug 25, 2020 |
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 14:12
|
|
|
Jesus christ Meyer hates blondes. In just one chapter she's manages to bitch about Rosalie, Lauren, and that random girl with straw-colored hair. Also, I never pictured Rose as having an hourglass figure. I guess we're supposed to be thinking Scarlett Johansson and not Christina Hendricks, but it's still a weird visual for a high-schooler. I wonder if Meyer realized the Twilight-zone (  ) aspect of having an eternal life not worth living. Being bored only 100 years into your endless life is terrifying. There's a Good Place episode that explores the idea, and the solution they come up with is the ability to end your life for good. How many vampires have committed suicide over the centuries? How many have been driven insane by being in purgatory for 1000 years? Even Harry Potter tackled this idea in the first book, and that was aimed at 11 year olds.
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 15:30
|
|
|
Reminder that plagiarist and abuse apologist Erica James also made blonde-hate a trend. Gee, I wonder why? What’s with people who think the idea of repeating high school dozens of times to blend in is appealing?
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 15:44
|
|
|
hyperhazard posted:I wonder if Meyer realized the Twilight-zone ( I brought that up early on. Edward claims that so far nobody has determined if vampires can starve to death, only that the burning feeling of hunger grows steadily more and more unbearable. Bella and Edward end the series with "forever" and Bella in particular is obsessed about immortality because she wants to be with Edward for eternity (which is obviously going to be your analogue for an afterlife together in perfection), but that can't happen. Even if none of the Cullens go insane or die in battle or accidents, humanity will eventually die out, followed by animals, and after a few billion years the Earth will be destroyed entirely. In practice, there's no way for the Cullen family to end except by mutual suicide pact.
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 17:54
|
|
|
hyperhazard posted:Also, I never pictured Rose as having an hourglass figure. I guess we're supposed to be thinking Scarlett Johansson and not Christina Hendricks, but it's still a weird visual for a high-schooler. Not if you watch a lot of TV and movies where high schoolers are played by people in their mid-20s and older! SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:What’s with people who think the idea of repeating high school dozens of times to blend in is appealing? Some people peaked in high school. They get to be so much better than the sheeple around them because it’s their tenth time through and they’ve seen all the possible permutations. I don’t think I’ve seen a story with a similar conceit where it’s only the second time through school so the immortal is still kind of a goober; they always begin the after several passes so they’ve already seen everything.
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 18:01
|
|
|
Midjack posted:Some people peaked in high school. Here's Meyer's own words from her FAQ: quote:Some parts of Bella’s experiences are modeled after real life (my life, to be exact) in order to ground the fantasy aspects of the story in solid reality. Ironically, many of the details that are one hundred percent reality are the ones that are called into question the most (as illustrated by some of my angry Amazon reviews). In this particular case, I modeled Bella’s move to Forks after my real life move from high school to college. (Personal story alert!) I mentioned in my bio that I went to a high school in Scottsdale, AZ, which is Arizona’s version of Beverly Hills (picture the high school in the movie Clueless). In high school, I was a mousy, A-track wall-flower. I had a lot of incredible girlfriends, but I wasn’t much sought after by the Y chromosomes, if you know what I mean. Then I went to college in Provo, Utah. Let me tell you, my stock went through the roof. See, beauty is a lot more subjective than you might think. In Scottsdale, surrounded by barbies, I was about a five. In Provo, surrounded by normal people, I was more like an eight. I had dates every weekend with lots of really pretty and intelligent boys (some of whose names end up in my books). It was quite confusing at first, because I knew there was nothing different about me. (Side note: don’t ever let anyone tell you that high school is supposed to be fun. High school is to be endured. College is fun.) This is what she looked like in school:  Not exactly a 5/10, right? But Scottsdale is a wealthy suburb of Phoenix full of spas, golf courses, and tourists. Her high school, Chaparral, is a relatively prestigious one that's put out hot blonde entertainers like Busy Philipps, Lauren Hildebrandt, and Jenny Mollen. She was comparing herself to the daughters of wealthy families, ones that may have owned tourist-related businesses or been otherwise involved in the destination spa and golf industry, and clearly doesn't think well of them. The bizarre obsession with simultaneously finding blondes the prettiest and the bitchiest makes a lot more sense when you read about Meyer's childhood. So this series is essentially wish fulfillment for Meyer as she wishes her life could have been. She's still dutifully married and having children with very quiet and polite sex at 18, but she also gets to be the hottest girl in town with billions of dollars and a Ferrari and a daughter who skips all the uncomfortable and unpleasant parts of raising a child.
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 19:02
|
|
|
quote:The face of the monster in my reflection mocked me. This is supposed to be scary, but it's the exact same dry, pompous narration that Edward uses when bored in the cafeteria. quote:But then I would have to stop them from escaping. I wouldn’t have to worry about the windows, too high up and small to provide an escape for anyone. Just the door—block that and they were trapped. Yeah, and you're so against that! quote:And her blood would cool while I murdered the others. Here's our established lower limit for how lethal vampires would be if unleashed on the world without the Volturi to stop them. You get an efficient vampire who's trying to kill as many people as possible before drinking any blood, no army would stand a chance against them. One of them could wipe out an entire military base in the night in minutes. quote:Long enough for Bella Swan to see, briefly, what was coming for her. Long enough for her to feel fear. Long enough, maybe, if shock didn’t freeze her in place, for her to work up a scream. One soft scream that would not bring anyone running.  If you rewatch Robert Pattinson's acting in the first movie after seeing how he read it, it's obvious how much he nailed Midnight Sun. quote:She was just turning now. In a few seconds, she would sit down inches away from me. Both wolves, for some reason. quote:One was mine, or rather had been: the red-eyed monster that had killed so many people that I’d stopped counting. Rationalized, justified murders. I had been a killer of killers, a killer of other, less powerful monsters. It was a god complex, I acknowledged that—deciding who deserved a death sentence. It was a compromise with myself. I had fed on human blood, but only by the loosest definition. My victims were, in their various dark pastimes, barely more human than I was.  quote:There was no reason for a resemblance to exist. Carlisle was not my father in the basic biological sense. We shared no common features. The similarity in our coloring was a product of what we were; every vampire was corpse-pale. The similarity in the color of our eyes was another matter—a reflection of a mutual choice. Note the tacit admission that wisdom, compassion, and patience are not things Edward Cullen naturally has! quote:All those tiny improvements were lost in the monster’s face. In a few moments, there would be nothing left in me that would reflect the years I’d spent with my creator, my mentor, my father in all the ways that counted. My eyes would glow red as a devil’s; all likeness would be lost forever. Carlisle, you, uh, might want to reconsider how much forgiveness you hand out with this boy. quote:Bella Swan sat down in the chair next to me, her movements stiff and awkward—no doubt with fear—and the scent of her blood bloomed in an inescapable cloud around me. Going back to read Twilight, Bella was actually bewildered and sniffing at her hair in confusion because Edward was screwing up his face and leaning all the way to the other end of the table when she sat down. This guy is full bore into self-identifying as a monster that everyone's afraid of and divorced from reality because of it. quote:I would prove my father wrong about me. The misery of this fact hurt almost as much as the fire in my throat. You heard it here, folks: Edward is refusing to kill Bella not because he finds it sufficiently wrong or immoral, but because he wants to prove Carlisle wrong. quote:Why did she have to come here? Why did she have to exist? Why did she have to ruin the little peace I had in this nonlife of mine? Why had this aggravating human ever been born? She would ruin me. Are you blaming her for your problems already? quote:The scent was the problem, the hideously appealing scent of her blood. If there was only some way to resist… if only another gust of fresh air could clear my head. It took this dumb motherfucker that long to remember that he could just stop breathing. quote:Every life in this room was in danger while she and I were in it together. I should run. I wanted to run, to get away from the heat of her next to me, and the punishing pain of the burning, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that if I unlocked my muscles to move, even just to stand, I wouldn’t lash out and commit the slaughter I’d already planned. It's easier to understand why one of Edward's first suicide plans in New Moon was to kill a bunch of innocent people in Volterra. He's literally one breath away from punching a child's head off. quote:But perhaps I could resist for an hour. Would one hour be enough time to gain control to move without striking? I doubted, then forced myself to commit. I would make it enough. Just enough time to get out of this room full of victims, victims that perhaps didn’t have to be victims. If I could resist for one short hour. And as we all know, vampire instincts just instantly click on and suppress all your human behavior once you transform. quote:Uncomfortable, but manageable. More bearable than smelling her and not sinking my teeth through that fine, thin, see-through skin to the hot, wet, pulsing— Still sounding way too close to a rape analogue! quote:An hour! Just one hour. I must not think of the scent, the taste. This is more hilarious than it is intriguing. Bella is just thinking Edward's an aggressive weirdo ruining her first day at school while in his mind he's twisting himself in knots trying to decipher all of the secret meaning that must be in her eyes! quote:My former irritation at being stymied by her soundless thoughts was weak and pale in comparison to the need—and the hate—that possessed me now. For I hated this frail girl beside me, hated her with all the fervor with which I clung to my former self, my love of my family, my dreams of being something better than what I was. Hating her, hating how she made me feel—it helped a little. Yes, the irritation I’d felt before was weak, but it, too, helped a little. I clung to any thought that distracted me from imagining what she would taste like.… Hope you guys like reading the inner monologue of a guy who sounds like he's trying to imitate 19th century literature to sound smart online. quote:And when the hour ended… she would walk out of this room. And I would do what? Oh, he's only suppressing the urge to kill for now. He'll gladly give in once they're outside! quote:Except that I was not the only student who was aware of her today—though no one was as blisteringly aware as I. Mike Newton, in particular, was conscious of every shift in her weight as she fidgeted in her chair—she was uncomfortable so close to me, just as anyone would be, just as I’d expected before her scent had destroyed all charitable concern. Mike Newton would notice if she left the classroom with me. Mike Newton has saved Bella's life and ensured the rest of the Twilight series can go on! quote:If I could last an hour, could I last two? Yes, responsible. quote:It was sophistry to think that by saving the nineteen humans in this room with effort and patience, I would be less of a monster when I killed this innocent girl. Isn't he a charmer? Can't you see why we should all love him and his pure soul? quote:I made it through the hour in this way—imagining the best ways to kill her. I tried to avoid imagining the actual act. That might be too much for me. So I planned strategy and nothing more. Not going to focus on something like morality? The difference between right and wrong? Why killing innocent girls is bad? quote:Once, toward the very end, she peeked up at me through the fluid wall of her hair. I could feel the unjustified hatred burning out of me as I met her gaze—see the reflection of it in her frightened eyes. Blood painted her cheek before she could hide in her hair again, and I was nearly undone. This guy really needs to start keeping a thermos of blood or something on him to sip during lunch. quote:Now I had to move. He sounds so....blase. quote:I hid in my car. I didn’t like to think of myself as having to hide. How cowardly that sounded. But I didn’t have enough discipline left to be around humans now. Focusing so much of my efforts on not killing one of them left me no resources to resist the others. What a waste that would be. If I were to give in to the monster, I might as well make it worth the defeat. What CD would he be listening to? Some people have ideas! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY8b7bVIJP0 quote:I was sane again. I could think again. And I could fight again. I could fight what I didn’t want to be. Notice how he doesn't even think of hurting Esme until long after the fact. Carlisle, he brought up but still suppressed to feed his desire to kill. Esme didn't even factor into it until later! quote:Perhaps, if I avoided this girl very, very carefully, there was no need for my life to change. I had things ordered the way I liked them. Why should I let some aggravating and delicious nobody ruin that? "Aggravating and delicious nobody" is my Tinder bio. quote:How ironic that I’d wanted to protect this human girl from the paltry, toothless threat of Jessica Stanley’s snide thoughts. I was the last person who would ever stand as a protector for Isabella Swan. She would never need protection from anything more than she needed it from me. Great! Leave! quote:Where was Alice? I suddenly wondered. Hadn’t she seen me killing the Swan girl in a multitude of ways? Why hadn’t she come to my aid—to stop me or help me clean up the evidence, whichever? Was she so absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasper that she’d missed this much more horrific possibility? Or was I stronger than I thought? Would I really not have done anything to the girl? You see that "vary"? That typo isn't in the original manuscript! Somehow it got added in during editing! quote:I searched in the direction I knew my sister would be, in the small building used for English classes. It did not take me long to locate her familiar “voice.” And I was right. Her every thought was turned to Jasper, watching his small choices with minute scrutiny. You've been living with Jasper this whole time and helping him get through his problems! What's stopping the family you claim to love from helping you too? quote:If I could avoid Bella Swan, if I could manage not to kill her—even as I thought that, the monster writhed and gnashed his teeth in frustration—then no one would have to know. If I could keep away from her scent… With no help from anyone else if things go wrong! quote:The last hour of school was almost over. I decided to put my new plan into action at once. Better than sitting here in the parking lot, where she might pass me and ruin my attempt. Again, I felt the unjust hatred for the girl. He must look like someone walking on a moving sidewalk. quote:It was empty except for the receptionist, who didn’t notice my silent entrance.  Shelly Cope was played in the first film by Trish Egan. While her IMDB is sparse, she actually has over 40 years of experience in theatre and served in the military in the 1970s and 1980s to afford to go to college due to her family's poverty. After going to college in San Antonio, she moved northwest to the University of Portland where she earned a BA in both English and Theatre in less than 5 years, graduating magna cum laude, and an MFA in Directing. Her husband, Harold Phillips, is also an actor in various low budget B-movies and TV shows. quote:“Oh,” she gasped, a little flustered. She smoothed her shirt. Silly, she thought to herself. He’s almost young enough to be my son. “Hello, Edward. What can I do for you?” Her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick glasses. You'll also note that Edward's telepathy is actually very limited to things that are easy for Meyer to envision and write. He never identifies abstract emotions, songs stuck in someone's head, or concepts. It's always either plain dialogue or specific memories of the past. quote:Uncomfortable. But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be. It was easy, since I was able to know instantly how any tone or gesture was taken. So his normal voice is scary, then? quote:I heard the tempo of her heart increase. Actually you're wrong, Edward! While vampires may physically pass through time, it's established that their minds are stuck at their development when they were turned. Edward may chronologically be 104 years old, but mentally he'll always be 17. It's technically statutory rape for eternity! quote:“I was wondering if I could move from my Biology class to a senior-level science. Physics, perhaps?” Again, not exactly keeping on the down low! Other than their mysterious disappearances, the Cullens are getting the best marks in every school they attend to such a degree that it makes the humans suspicious. Unless they're at schools that require extracurricular participation for consideration, the entire family should be top contenders for valedictorian everywhere they go. How many times can they get away with that before people start noticing how many times these same kids (who may or may not be using different names but always look identical) are appearing in high schools around the country and showing up everyone else? quote:“I wouldn’t be any trouble.” "Your parents who are mysteriously slightly older than you." quote:The door opened behind me, but whoever it was did not think of me, so I ignored the arrival and concentrated on Ms. Cope. I leaned slightly closer and stared as if I was gazing more deeply into her eyes. This would work better if they were gold today instead of black. The blackness frightened people, as it should. Please stop seducing the secretary. You are 17. quote:I smiled at her, careful not to flash my teeth so widely that it would scare her again, letting the expression soften my face. Why would it scare her? Your teeth are perfect and straight! You don't have fangs! quote:Her heart drummed faster. Too young, she reminded herself frantically. “Well, maybe I could talk to Bob—I mean Mr. Banner. I could see if—” If Edward doesn't find it unusual for someone to not have any thoughts when they're passing by him, that almost sounds like a direct statement that someone has to be thinking either dialogue or specific memories in order for him to pick them up. Normal surface-level thoughts, emotions, abstract concepts, etc. are blank to him. quote:I turned, though I did not need to make sure. Is she turning into an anime character? quote:The smell of her blood saturated every particle of air in the tiny, hot room. My throat burst into flames. Jesus Christ, Edward. quote:The monster waited anxiously, hungrily, for me to do it. Edward is the nofap master. quote:“Never mind, then. I can see that it’s impossible. Thank you so much for your help.” If he wasn't lucky with his timing, he would have just done a Speedy Gonzales impersonation in front of the entire student body. quote:When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control my breathing, but I was gasping at the fresh air as if I’d been suffocated. Emmett! You can't curse here! quote:Instead of answering, I threw the car into reverse. I had to get out of this lot before Bella Swan could follow me here, too. My own personal demon, tormenting me… I swung the car around and accelerated. I hit forty before I was out of the parking lot. On the road, I hit seventy before I made the corner. Keeping a low profile. quote:Without looking, I knew that Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had all turned to stare at Alice. She shrugged. She couldn’t see what had passed, only what was coming. This is a fun end to a school day! quote:“Oh,” she said again. In case you wanted a solid idea of how fast a vampire can run! These guys are really overpowered! quote:“I’ll miss you,” she said. “No matter how short a time you’re gone.” And Charlie doesn't deserve any of the poo poo he's going to go through! quote:She slid out to join the others, her eyebrows pulling together in anxiety. They melted into the woods, out of sight before I could turn the car around.
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 20:55
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:Yes, and I guess Nahuel is the only hybrid in existence who generates venom for....reasons. I bet his scientist murder-father has skillfully deduced that venom is stored in the balls.
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2020 20:58
|
|
|
my god rosalie and emmett (the best characters btw) got done dirty. this is shameful
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2020 00:10
|
|
|
Up Circle posted:my god rosalie and emmett (the best characters btw) got done dirty. this is shameful I'll point out the exact moment we transition from the unfinished manuscript to completely new text. There's a pretty strong change between scene breaks as Meyer is clearly writing years in the future. She's still not a good writer, but you can tell her style has evolved after writing a few more books and short stories. Characterization has changed and she's putting more effort into writing things fans had stated they were interested in. There's even a scant few places where I actually liked what I was reading, which I didn't expect! In particular, we get a very deep scene between Edward and Rosalie that will probably make you like her even more.
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2020 00:14
|
|
|
Chapter 2: Open Bookquote:I leaned back against the soft snowbank, letting the dry powder reshape itself around my weight. My skin had cooled to match the air around me, and the tiny pieces of ice felt like velvet under my skin. And here's what Edward was doing when he mysteriously disappeared for a week after Bella's first day: sitting in the snow in Alaska, moping. quote:When I stared up at the jeweled sky, it was as if there were an obstruction between my eyes and its beauty. The obstruction was a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn’t quite seem to banish it from my mind. And if this was the actual first book, we would have been introduced to the Denali and their relationships with the Cullens from the second chapter instead of just being brought up as asides until the end! quote:She sprang into sight about sixty yards away, leaping onto the tip of an outcropping of black rock and balancing there on the balls of her bare feet. And she's just as dramatic as Edward, apparently. quote:Tanya’s skin was silver in the starlight, and her long blond curls shone pale, almost pink with their strawberry tint. Her amber eyes glinted as she spied me, half-buried in the snow, and her full lips stretched slowly into a smile. I don't get what Tanya sees in this kid. quote:She hadn’t dressed for human eyes; she wore only a thin cotton camisole and a pair of shorts. Crouching down on a promontory of stone, she touched the rock with her fingertips, and her body coiled. Tanya has chronologically been on-screen for a few seconds and is already more interesting than Edward or Bella. quote:I sighed again, breathing in the ice, but didn’t move to unearth myself. The blackness under the snow neither hurt nor improved the view. I still saw the same face. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4qRDb_uKyM Our hero. quote:“Edward?” Holy poo poo, she's actually being given a personality! quote:You’re going home, aren’t you? she thought. Another minor edit here: this sentence originally had her thoughts being "chagrined." I guess Meyer finally learned how that word is used over the years. quote:“You’re a thousand times lovelier than the stars, Tanya. Of course, you’re already well aware of that. Don’t let my stubbornness undermine your confidence.” I chuckled at the unlikeliness of that. Oh, well that's nice-- quote:“Succubus,” I teased, hoping to interrupt the images flickering in her head. Aaaaand now it's ruined. quote:“When you showed up here,” Tanya said slowly, “I thought that…” Or ever! quote:“You thought that I’d changed my mind.” Seriously, there is nothing appealing about this guy except being hot and eternally young. Also, have you noticed how Edward is supposed to have an old fashioned manner of speaking because he's from an older generation and retained all of those habits? Nobody else does that. Esme's only slightly older than him chronologically and Rosalie and Emmett slightly younger, and Alice is the exact same age, but they speak like normal modern people. Tanya is from the 11th century and Carlisle from the 17th, and all of the vampires from Breaking Dawn centuries or even millennia old, but all of them have gladly switched to modern syntax and slang. The only explanation is that Edward is an arrogant dork. quote:She was quiet again, still speculating. I ignored her, trying in vain to appreciate the stars. Also, most other vampires are nowhere near as miserable as Edward! Carlisle helps people instead of scoffing at how pitiful they are, everyone has hobbies and has taken advantage of immortality to learn everything possible in the world, and they seem to acknowledge that there will always be more to learn as time goes on. We really are following the least interesting two characters. quote:Tanya threw her slender arm around my shoulders. I stiffened but did not flinch from her touch. She meant it as nothing more than friendly comfort. Mostly. According to the Illustrated Guide, Tanya is from Slovakia. Someone give this writer a map. Or at least a link to Wikipedia. quote:Her thoughts were as certain as her words. I tried to embrace the vision of myself that she saw. The one who faced things head-on. It was pleasant to think of myself that way again. I’d never doubted my courage, my ability to face difficulty, before that horrible hour in a high school Biology class such a short time ago. That is such a loving lie. quote:I kissed her cheek, pulling back swiftly when she twisted her face toward mine. She smiled ruefully at my quickness. When Edward was preparing for his honeymoon, he asked Emmett and Jasper for sex advice. He really should have gone to the Denali! quote:“Well, if you leave before I see you again… goodbye, Edward.” That's....you can't do that. You can't run on snow so quickly that you just ricochet off it without leaving marks. quote:My mouth twisted downward. I didn’t like hurting Tanya, though her feelings were not deep, hardly pure, and, in any case, not something I could return. It still made me feel less than a gentleman. That's why he can't date Tanya. She's just a hussy! quote:I put my chin on my knees and stared up at the stars again, though I was suddenly anxious to be on my way. I knew that Alice would see me coming home, that she would tell the others. This would make them happy—Carlisle and Esme especially. But I gazed at the stars for one more moment, trying to see past the face in my head. Between me and the brilliant lights in the sky, a pair of bewildered chocolate-brown eyes wondered at my motives, seeming to ask what this decision would mean for her. Of course, I couldn’t be sure that was really the information her curious eyes sought. Even in my imagination, I couldn’t hear her thoughts. Bella Swan’s eyes continued to question, and an unobstructed view of the stars continued to elude me. With a heavy sigh, I gave up and got to my feet. If I ran, I would be back to Carlisle’s car in less than an hour. You can't do that quote:“It’s going to be okay,” Alice breathed. Her eyes were unfocused, and Jasper had one hand lightly under her elbow, guiding her forward as we walked into the run-down cafeteria in a close-huddled group. Rosalie and Emmett led the way, Emmett looking ridiculously like a bodyguard in the middle of hostile territory. Rose looked wary, too, but much more irritated than protective. See, this is the loving Emmett and Jasper I want! Two bros just screwing around and bullying Edward! quote:“She’s not here yet, but the way she’s going to come in… she won’t be downwind if we sit in our regular spot.” God, shut up. quote:She blinked once as Jasper helped her into her seat, and her eyes finally focused on my face. You just spent 6 days straight lying in a snowbank because of how much you couldn't handle this issue. quote:I hated being the focus of their concern. I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper, remembering all the times we’d hovered protectively over him. He met my glance briefly, and grinned. This book is giving so much more personality to the Cullens and it just makes Edward look so terrible by comparison. quote:Was it just last week that this long, drab room had seemed so killingly dull to me? That it had seemed almost like sleep, like a coma, to be here? It's been a week and they're still fawning over the new girl like she's an alien? quote:Had she said nothing to anyone about me? There was no way that she had not noticed my black, murderous glare. I had seen her react to it. Surely, I’d traumatized her. I was convinced that she would have mentioned it to someone, maybe even have exaggerated the story a bit to make it better. Given me a few menacing lines. Ah yes, the sheeple, with their annoying and primitive habit of "asking if that guy is always this weird." quote:“Anything new?” Jasper asked. I'm taking this as canon that nobody finds Edward nearly as scary as he thinks he is. quote:I rolled my eyes at him. As hilarious as this is, there's no indication that this happened in the original book. Bella doesn't notice anything but the Cullens sitting at their table again. quote:“Very human, Emmett,” Rosalie said scathingly. “Why don’t you punch through the wall while you’re at it?” Do it! Do it! quote:I tried to pay attention to them, keeping a grin fixed on my face as though I were part of their banter. I did not allow myself to look toward the line where I knew she was standing. But that was all I was listening to. No, come back to the rest of the family! They're so much more fun! quote:Mike Newton was with the two girls. I heard both his voices, mental and verbal, when he asked Jessica what was wrong with the Swan girl. It was distasteful the way his thoughts wrapped around her, the flicker of already established fantasies that clouded his mind while he watched her start and look up from her reverie as though she’d forgotten he was there. Edward is just having Mike's threesome fantasies blasted in his brain non-stop. quote:“Nothing,” I heard Bella say in that quiet, clear voice. It seemed to ring like a struck bell over the babble in the cafeteria, but I knew that was just because I was listening for it so intently. I will never get tired of them making GBS threads on Edward. quote:Jessica was wondering aloud about the girl’s lack of appetite. “Aren’t you hungry?” This guy's obsession with hating Mike Newton is a little weird, not gonna lie. quote:Regardless, I didn’t like monitoring her through Mike’s thoughts. I switched to Jessica’s, watching carefully as the three of them chose which table to sit at. Fortunately, they sat with Jessica’s usual companions, at one of the first tables in the room. Not downwind, just as Alice had promised. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxpIwQoaMX4 quote:“Ease up, Edward,” Emmett said. “Honestly. So you kill one human. That’s hardly the end of the world.” Emmett, please, I'm trying to like you. quote:Just then, Alice tossed a smaller handful of ice that she’d been hiding into Emmett’s unsuspecting face. This would make me very uneasy about associating with Alice. You'd never know how much of her behavior is natural and what's meant to manipulate you for her plans. quote:Alice kept laughing and held her tray up as a shield. The girl—Bella—must still be staring at us.
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 01:31
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 05:58
|
|
|
That Midnight Sun looks like the sort of thing you'd link as NSFW, or maybe the insides of pomegranates are inherently freudian.
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 11:44
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 12:53
|
|
|
Reading his endless internal monologue is almost as boring as reading Bella's, and I think I figured out part of the reason why. Everything is in the moment. He describes what's currently happening and what he currently sees, and doesn't plan more than a few hours ahead in the future. This is not how people operate! We're constantly referring to things in the past to make sense of the here and now. It's part of what makes us intelligent and adaptable. "Wow, I can't stand her, what should I do? Well I remember what happened with Jane Smith a few years ago, that didn't go well. Maybe this girl will react more like John Doe, she seems like she has some of his personality, although that time in the Bahamas was a really dark period of my life. I wonder how Anne is doing now that I'm gone? Oh right, this girl. Well how did I react the last time I was tempted? Remember the day I decided not to kill anymore? I was standing there in the alleyway thinking about what..." And so on. Maybe the idea is that vampires only think in the present and don't really deal with their past memories and emotions (an interesting idea, seeing as they're predators). But Bella's inner monologue wasn't much different, except to refer back to Phoenix every once in a while.
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 17:29
|
|
|
Maybe they can't form long term memories. Nothing but tats and polaroids.
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 18:20
|
|
|
quote:What is it about her? Jessica thought, echoing my own irritation. Our girl got done dirty! I can't believe we got such a sudden shift in perspective here, with no warning. Was Meyer always intending for us to think Jessica was a conniving bitch, or is this her reaction to fans taking her side in everything and wondering why Bella seemed to never spend any time with her human "friends"? quote:I listened, too engrossed, to the girl’s response. Two medical degrees, constantly observing humans and hearing their thoughts, can't recognize body language to save his life. quote:“The Cullens don’t like anybody,” Jess reassured her. “Well, they don’t notice anybody enough to like them.” They never used to. Her thought was a grumble of complaint. “But he’s still staring at you.” Pathetic Mike Newton, and his ears. quote:When the lunch period ended, I stayed in my seat. The humans filed out, and I caught myself trying to distinguish the sound of her footsteps from the rest, as if there were something important or unusual about them. How stupid. All of his siblings looking at him and trying to figure out why he can't just make faces like a normal person. quote:As a family, we’d already discussed this moment from every possible angle. Carlisle disapproved of the risk, but he wouldn’t impose his will on mine. Jasper disapproved nearly as much, but from fear of exposure rather than any concern for humankind. Rosalie only worried about how it would affect her life. Alice saw so many obscure, conflicting futures that her visions were atypically unhelpful. Esme thought I could do no wrong. And Emmett just wanted to compare stories about his own experiences with particularly appealing scents. He pulled Jasper into his reminiscing, though Jasper’s history with self-control was so short and so uneven that he was unable to be sure he’d ever had an analogous struggle. Emmett, on the other hand, remembered two such incidents. His memories of them were not encouraging. But he’d been younger then, not as adept at self-control. Surely, I was stronger than that. So there's confirmation: Emmett has two bodies on his count. quote:“I… think it’s okay,” Alice said, hesitant. “Your mind is set. I think you’ll make it through the hour.” But Alice knew well how quickly a mind could change. You're 18 and look like a supermodel, Rosalie. You can spend a decade or two pretending to be an adult. quote:I was evenly torn on the decision. I wanted, wanted badly, to face this head-on rather than running away again. But I didn’t want to push myself too far, either. It had been a mistake last week for Jasper to go so long without hunting; was this just as pointless a mistake? Edward. That's not how that works, Edward. quote:“No, Rose, I think it really will be okay,” Alice said. “It’s… firming up. I’m ninety-three percent sure that nothing bad will happen if he goes to class.” She looked at me, inquisitive, wondering what had changed in my thoughts that made her vision of the future more secure. And ram your head through the wall if it fails! quote:“Go to class,” I ordered, pushing away from the table. I turned and strode away from them without looking back. I could hear Alice’s worry, Jasper’s censure, Emmett’s approval, and Rosalie’s irritation trailing after me. He has no concern with the petty and trivial! Except wondering why a human would mindlessly scribble! quote:I pulled my chair back with unnecessary roughness, letting it scrape across the linoleum—humans always felt more comfortable when noise announced someone’s approach. So your first positive interaction with her is gaslighting. quote:“Hello,” I said in the quiet voice I used when I wanted to make humans more comfortable, forming a polite smile with my lips that would not show any teeth. Again with this whole "I have faces and voices specifically for not scaring humans" thing. No other vampire does that! Is he delusional, or is his natural state really just that terrible that he has to specifically try to not come off like a psychopath during normal interaction? quote:She looked up then, her wide brown eyes startled and full of silent questions. It was the same expression that had been obstructing my vision for the past week. Count yourself lucky you can't hear her thoughts then! quote:Her cheeks began to flush, and she said nothing. You know this! Vampires are capable of laughing! Seriously, this is coming off less as "Vampires are so alien and unlike us, how can we ever be compatible?" and more "Edward just gave up loving everything about humanity on the spot when he got turned." quote:“Oh, I think everyone knows your name.” Surely, she must have realized that she’d become the center of attention in this monotonous place. “The whole town’s been waiting for you to arrive.” Shut up, dork. quote:“No,” she said. “I meant, why did you call me Bella?” So, here's my theory: Edward has spent so long completely reliant on his telepathy to understand everyone's intentions that over the decades he's lost all memory of body language, tone, context, etc. quote:“No, I like Bella,” she answered, leaning her head slightly to one side. Her expression—if I was reading it correctly—was torn between embarrassment and confusion. “But I think Charlie—I mean my dad—must call me Isabella behind my back. That’s what everyone here seems to know me as.” Her skin darkened one shade pinker. Would he, though? Everyone else has been calling her Bella. If she really was as incredibly interesting to this town as he claims (which is doubtful, as I pointed out in the first book), he would have heard her being called "Bella" by everyone after she initially corrected them over the first week. quote:I felt a pang of unease. It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip. Quite astute, especially for someone who was supposed to be terrified by my proximity. So I'm sure you have a very non-suspicious method of dealing with that, right? quote:I leaned as far away from her as I could without moving my seat, twisting my head out into the aisle. I braced myself, locking my muscles in place, and then sucked in one quick chestful of air, breathing through my mouth alone. Ah, no. He's just going to Tay Zonday this and lean into the aisle to take a breath every time. quote:“Get started,” Mr. Banner commanded. I hope you guys like secondhand embarrassment, because that's what this book is all about! quote:I stared at the equipment on the table—the battered microscope, the box of slides—rather than watch the blood wax and wane under her clear skin. I took another quick breath, through my teeth, and winced as the taste scorched the inside of my throat. Bella felt the exact same "electric current" from her perspective. I'm guessing that's the Mormon Connection rather than one of them picking up static electricity from all the flannel they're wearing. quote:“I’m sorry,” I muttered. Needing somewhere to look, I grasped the microscope and stared briefly into the eyepiece. She was right. There's a reason this book is twice as long as the original, and it's pretty much just Edward being overdramatic. quote:I glanced at the slide. Bella is getting so competitive with the weird kid that she isn't even noticing anything she's "supposed" to be afraid of. quote:“Slide three?” she asked, not looking up from the microscope, but holding out her hand. I dropped the next slide into her palm, keeping my skin far from hers this time. Sitting beside her was like sitting next to a heat lamp. I could feel myself warming slightly to the higher temperature. Of course, the first book showed Mike having no particular ill will toward Edward any more than the rest of the school thought they were weird. His transformation into a creep was after the fact. quote:I looked down at the girl again, bemused by the vast range of havoc and upheaval that, despite her ordinary, unthreatening appearance, she was wreaking on my life. The "for a human" is another addition to the final version of the book. I'm not sure why. And yes, this does still resemble Stephenie Meyer a lot! quote:Eyes that were suddenly boring into mine. Oh my God, he forgot colored contacts existed. quote:“Oh,” she mumbled. “I thought there was something different about your eyes.” Super smart vampire brain. quote:I’d sat beside humans for two years now at this school, and she was the first to examine me closely enough to note the change in my eye color. The others, while admiring the beauty of my family, tended to look down quickly when we returned their stares. They shied away, blocking the details of our appearances in an instinctive endeavor to keep themselves from understanding. Ignorance was bliss to the human mind. It's been pretty apparent that everyone stares at you guys a lot! quote:Why did it have to be this girl who would see too much? But wouldn't he still smell like a human and make you hungry? quote:“So, Edward,” he said, looking over our answers, “didn’t you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?” I can assure you from past experience, being in an AP program is not a sign of intelligence. quote:“Well,” Mr. Banner said, pursing his lips, “I guess it’s good you two are lab partners.” He turned and walked away, mumbling “So the other kids can get a chance to learn something for themselves” under his breath. I doubted the girl could hear that. She began scrawling loops across her folder again. Going back to the first book, Bella immediately identified that he was faking small talk. quote:I tried to steer the conversation back to trite paths. She was from a much brighter, warmer place—her skin seemed to reflect that somehow, despite its fairness—and the cold must make her uncomfortable. My icy touch certainly had. Ben Shapiro's ears perk up. quote:“Forks must be a difficult place for you to live.” Perhaps you should not have come here, I wanted to add. Perhaps you should go back where you belong. "Unlike all of the other people I know who displayed special powers as humans." quote:“You have no idea,” she said in a low voice, glowering past me for a moment. How about you not do that, dipshit? quote:She looked up suddenly. It was a relief to be able to see the emotions in her eyes. She spoke in a rush, hurrying through the words. You huuuuumans and your emooooootions. quote:“That doesn’t sound so complex,” I said, my voice gentle without my working to make it that way. Her dejection left me oddly helpless, wishing there was something I could do to make her feel better. A strange impulse. “When did that happen?” Which you haven't even told us about, but go ahead. quote:“Why didn’t you stay with them?” My voice was too eager; it sounded like I was being nosy. Which I was, admittedly. Gasp! A true emotion! Only true love can cause this! quote:“Have I heard of him?” I ran through the rosters of professional ballplayers in my head, wondering which Phil was hers. Did Edward...memorize every baseball player in America? quote:“And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him,” I said. Making assumptions seemed to get more information out of her than questions did. It worked again. Her chin jutted out, and her expression was suddenly stubborn. This is like Breaking Dawn where every person who walks up to the Volturi all make the same "raised chin, looking down their nose in contempt" expression to show that they were being proud and honest. I really don't think Meyer knows any other body language to show that. quote:“No, she did not send me here,” she said, and her voice had a new, hard edge to it. My assumption had upset her, though I couldn’t quite see how. “I sent myself.” Come the gently caress on. In almost 90 years of undeath, you've never once encountered a girl who was this ordinary? quote:“I don’t understand,” I admitted, hating to concede. He keeps insisting all of these things about vampires and none of them turn out to be true in practice. Is he doing a loving Nosferatu face at anyone who looks at him? quote:“She stayed with me at first, but she missed him,” Bella explained slowly, her tone growing more forlorn with each word. “It made her unhappy… so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie.” And right here, we encounter the problem with going from Twilight to Midnight Sun. Obviously a massive violation of the "show, don't tell" rule, but think about Bella if you only know about her from this point of view. She's quiet, shy, relatively intelligent, and trying to get along with people in her new town to the best of her abilities without knowing most of them secretly can't stand the attention she's getting. It's fairly believable that she could be portrayed as a selfless person always willing to sacrifice herself and her own happiness for others. You come here from the other books, it's loving laughable. If you didn't have Edward outright telling us the author's intention, it would be impossible to tell. She's "selflessly" spent the entire time groaning about how terrible her life is, treating her parents like small children, and begrudgingly accepting kindness from people on her first day of school. And that's just two chapters in! We're not even at her becoming so selfish as to willingly give up everything about her humanity and all of her human relationships to stay with Edward, or manipulating Jacob and others into feeding her harmful impulses. Her "selflessness" becomes expressed purely in the form of a crazy desire to throw her life away over and over, whether or not it makes sense at the time, and eventually devolves into trying to drag all of her loved ones along with her. That's another reason I hope Meyer sticks to her guns and never rewrites the other books from Edward's perspective. Hearing Edward straight up tell the reader that Bella's supposed to be a selfless paragon at this point is bad writing but not divorced from reality. The justifications we'd need in the future would be too much to handle. quote:As I saw this, the mystery of the person hiding inside this quiet mind began to clear a little. It's like reading an overly detailed screenplay with every intended emotion for each line spelled out. quote:She stared back at me, seeming confused again. Her eyes flickered away, and then came back to mine. Breaking Dawn says what? quote:“Am I wrong?” And yours are? quote:I was not used to being the less intuitive of any pairing. I relied on my extra hearing too much—I clearly was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for. Hilarious! At any moment he could kill her and every other person in the room! It's dramatic irony! *jazz hands* quote:“Am I annoying you?” I asked, smiling at the absurdity of it all. Yes, she can't ever tell a lie! She'll never be able to deceive anyone in the future! quote:I stared at her in amazement. She was upset because she thought I saw through her too easily. How bizarre. I’d never expended so much effort to understand someone in all my life—or rather existence, as life was hardly the right word. I did not truly have a life. You've got that right, Budget Hamlet. quote:“On the contrary,” I disagreed, feeling strangely… wary, as if there were some hidden danger here that I was failing to see. Beyond the very obvious danger, something more… I was suddenly on edge, the premonition making me anxious. “I find you very difficult to read.” And yes, the original book confirms that Bella found absolutely nothing unusual about his smile. What he thought was making him look like the Ultimate Predator just looks like a hot guy smiling with perfect, white teeth. quote:I didn’t get to see if my warning had the intended effect. Mr. Banner called for the class’s attention just then, and she turned away from me at once. She seemed a little relieved for the interruption, so maybe she understood unconsciously. "We can't afford characterization in this book! We have angst to fill!" quote:Absentmindedly, she tossed her thick hair just at the moment that I allowed myself another breath. A particularly concentrated wave of her scent hit the back of my throat. Smooth. Not suspicious at all. quote:No, I could not afford to find her fascinating. The more interesting I found her, the more likely it was that I would kill her. I’d already made two minor slips today. Would I make a third, one that was not minor? Like completely freezing up and breathing fresh air only from the hallway? quote:As soon as the bell sounded, I fled from the classroom—probably destroying whatever impression of politeness I’d halfway constructed in the course of the hour. Again, I gasped at the clean, wet air outside as though it was a healing attar. I hurried to put as much distance as possible between myself and the girl. Emmett waited for me outside the door of our Spanish class. He read my wild expression for a moment. Seeing Emmett actually being a decent vampire here makes up for Breaking Dawn turning him into a frat douche. quote:It wasn’t, he reassured me. Nobody died, right? This would be a really good time for the book to talk about the conflict between the nature of vampiric hunger and regret over centuries or millennia of immortality, but... quote:I was revolted by his acceptance of the idea that I would kill the girl, that this was somehow inevitable. Was it her fault that she smelled so good? See, this is a good baseline to establish. When you encounter your "singer" victim, an ordinary vampire will pretty much instantly charge in and chow down without thinking about it. Edward's self-control would have been more meaningful if we knew just how unique it was. quote:I jumped to my feet, my teeth locked hard. Emmett actually being a bro is refreshing after the last book. quote:He was quiet for a moment. Take a page out of your advice to Jasper, that you've decided to soundly ignore? quote:I returned to my car to wait for school to end. To hide. Again. Edward's got a Dan Backslide-esque obsession with Mike Newton. quote:I put in a CD of violent music, and then turned it up until it drowned out other voices. I had to concentrate on the music very hard to keep myself from drifting back to Mike Newton’s thoughts to spy on the unsuspecting girl. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRoeeEVhifU quote:I cheated a few times as the hour drew to a close. Not spying, I tried to convince myself. I was just preparing. I wanted to know exactly when she would leave the gym, when she would be in the parking lot. I didn’t want her to take me by surprise. Being an idiot. quote:I didn’t move, though I tried to convince myself to get back in the car, knowing my behavior was reprehensible. I kept my arms folded across my chest and breathed very shallowly as I watched her walk slowly toward me, her mouth turning down at the corners. She didn’t look at me. A few times she glanced up at the clouds with a scowl, as if they had offended her. I love that Bella has basically been having semi-normal days for the most part while Edward is taking everything in the most dramatic way he can think of. quote:She got into a faded red Chevy truck, a rusted behemoth that was older than her father. I watched her start the truck—the old engine roared louder than any other vehicle in the lot—and then hold her hands out toward the heating vents. The cold was uncomfortable to her—she didn’t like it. She combed her fingers through her thick hair, pulling locks through the stream of hot air as though she was trying to dry them. I imagined what the cab of that truck would smell like, and then quickly drove out the thought. This whole book is a farce when you combine both perspectives. quote:She stared into her rearview mirror, her mouth hanging open, horrified at her near miss. When the other car had pulled past her, she checked all her blind spots twice and then inched out of the parking space so cautiously that it made me grin. It was as though she thought she was dangerous in her decrepit truck. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 19:50 on Aug 27, 2020 |
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 19:41
|
|
|
God this is terrible. And they let him go to class when there was “just” a 1-in-12 chance that something bad would happen? You don’t make it very long as a secret conspiracy when you take chances like that!
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 20:49
|
|
|
Edward really is a tedious fucker, isn't he? What's meant to be alluring about this?
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 20:54
|
|
|
Midjack posted:God this is terrible. 
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 20:56
|
|
|
Midjack posted:God this is terrible. what are they gonna do? spend time around edward just to make sure he doesn't lose it? look at how mopey and unpleasant he is! it's easier to restart your secret life with a whole new fake identity then to deal with him for more than 5 minutes.
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 21:08
|
|
|
Up Circle posted:what are they gonna do? spend time around edward just to make sure he doesn't lose it? look at how mopey and unpleasant he is! When surprised by a threat like this the right answer is probably to immediately evacuate Eddie under some pretext like “whoops rare disease, he’s being treated on the other side of the country for the next year and no visitors or phone calls” while the rest of them do an orderly departure and they all move on to their next set of identities rather than have to talk him down off the ledge every day like this. Far simpler to eliminate Edward if he’s risking bringing the whole charade crashing down but since the Cullens are Good Guys they wouldn’t do that. Alternately they could split up but it sounds like they don’t want to do that either since vegetarian vampires have to stick together.
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 22:48
|
|
|
No one in these loving books, human or vampire, acts like a human being.
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2020 23:02
|
|
|
quote:“I don’t want to move yet,” Rosalie complained. “I don’t want to start over. We’re almost out of high school, Emmett. Finally.” To your point, I really don't understand why they would keep choosing to repeat high school of all things! I understand the argument about glory days, etc but high school wasn't even a thing when these guys were actually that age before they were turned. There's nothing fascinating that you would learn in as part of the high school curriculum that would warrant going back multiple times. I could see college/university being a thing worth repeating and it's not that hard to age up your appearance with make up. The Cullens would stick out way less in that environment and I suppose the only reason it's not set in college is because Bella wouldn't be in college.
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2020 00:34
|
|
|
Leng posted:To your point, I really don't understand why they would keep choosing to repeat high school of all things! I understand the argument about glory days, etc but high school wasn't even a thing when these guys were actually that age before they were turned. There's nothing fascinating that you would learn in as part of the high school curriculum that would warrant going back multiple times. I could see college/university being a thing worth repeating and it's not that hard to age up your appearance with make up. The Cullens would just be those guys who barely show up to class but pass all the assignments and get straight A's anyway. Though I think that would cause some more issues just because of how rigorous universities should be about academic history. How many identities would they be going through to avoid multiples of themselves? Do they keep all their degrees on their walls? Also, there's a major problem with Edward having "two medical degrees" that shows how little research Meyer did. Medical school regularly involves students practicing procedures and examinations on one another, which means his literally statuesque body would be instantly discovered, and he'd need to actually work in a hospital surrounded by blood to finish it. My headcanon is that he just read enough books that he claims to have the equivalent of two medical degrees, which explains some of his later bizarre behavior.
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2020 00:47
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:The Cullens would just be those guys who barely show up to class but pass all the assignments and get straight A's anyway. Though I think that would cause some more issues just because of how rigorous universities should be about academic history. How many identities would they be going through to avoid multiples of themselves? Do they keep all their degrees on their walls? If they're smart they completely destroy all paper from previous identities though their wealth persists so there has to be some sort of legal/financial instrument that persists across pesonas. The whole high school situation kind of invites the question of "why bother" in the first place. If they're just trying to pass the time it would be more advantageous to have a small business that they all work at, such as a small medical practice if they need to have the patriarch employed in the medical industry. Nobody would question where an individual vampire is at a given moment, and they can drop the masquerade entirely when nobody else is around. The one advantage high school has over college is that there are fewer expectations for a high school kid; it's enough to show up, do just well enough to not get held back, and not get into fights and you don't have to have a job or do any of the other social things that are a big part of college in the US. What they do with their time outside of high school is entirely up to them, though there's no reason they couldn't run college the same way since they'd all presumably share a house in that case too. As rich as the Cullens are supposed to be they can probably buy their way past any problems with transcripts if they can't just forge what they need like they did to get into high school in Forks. I know the real answer is "it's the author's fantasy" and she wanted to revisit high school.
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2020 01:07
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:Also, there's a major problem with Edward having "two medical degrees" that shows how little research Meyer did. Medical school regularly involves students practicing procedures and examinations on one another, which means his literally statuesque body would be instantly discovered, and he'd need to actually work in a hospital surrounded by blood to finish it. My headcanon is that he just read enough books that he claims to have the equivalent of two medical degrees, which explains some of his later bizarre behavior. Any other part of his life seems like it could be more exciting than this.
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2020 01:07
|
|
|
There's even some backstory later on that implies that the Cullens didn't just relive high school every decade, at least not before it became common and expected for kids to attend public school. There's no reason they shouldn't be able to pass for adults and just chill, especially someone like Jasper who can barely contain himself in such a setting.
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2020 01:14
|
|
|
After four books and the start of this one, I’m starting get the crazy idea that Stephanie Meyer might just be a hack.
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2020 01:50
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:Though I think that would cause some more issues just because of how rigorous universities should be about academic history. How many identities would they be going through to avoid multiples of themselves? Do they keep all their degrees on their walls? Surely throughout the centuries and millennia, there is some vampire who has infiltrated academia. And to be honest, why even bother trying to get in through the official admissions process? Rich kids get into the colleges all the time via massive donations of a new building or whatever. I don't know about the US but in Australia the general state of higher education is so dismal that international students are the lifeblood of universities - without them paying full price, universities basically don't get enough funding to continue operating. The Cullens could afford to pay for a four year bachelor's degree on international student fees at any Australian university just with the spare cash lying around in any one of the random drawers in their house. The only one who actually needs official qualifications is Carlisle, since he wants to work in hospitals and do Good Things. The rest of them are just doing whatever, so they don't need a degree, or a job, or anything like that. If they were going to blend in, why would you not go full Crazy Rich Asians or the white equivalent? That would actually be the most natural environment for them to blend in, given their penchant for flaunting fast cars and single wear designer clothing. If they simply wanted to learn things, campus security isn't exactly super tight - just go wander into random lecture halls and the library. Midjack posted:If they're smart they completely destroy all paper from previous identities though their wealth persists so there has to be some sort of legal/financial instrument that persists across pesonas. The answer here is "family trust". 
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2020 03:21
|
|
|
I figured home schooling would be a go-to justification, unless the Mormons are less big on that than other Christians?
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2020 16:52
|
|
|
Chapter 3: Riskquote:Truly, I was not thirsty, but I decided to hunt again that night. A small ounce of prevention, inadequate though I knew it to be. TWISTED IN FIERCE DESPAIR quote:“Edward?” You, uh, weren't going to follow him? quote:He was wondering now if he’d done the right thing then, sending me away. Wondering if he had hurt me with his lack of trust. Eternally 17. quote:We’d slowed—we were barely jogging through the darkness now. It's something much worse! quote:Nowhere to go? "Unless the Volturi are coming to confront us, in which case we'll stand our ground and bring two dozen vampires to eat the residents." quote:I flinched at his words. "Unlike you, who's dedicating all of his free time to violating a girl's privacy." quote:“Thank you. It’s generous of you, seeing as how I give privacy to no one.” With one exception. And I was doing what I could to deprive her of that, wasn’t I? God, I want to strangle him. quote:We all have our quirks. He laughed again. Shall we? Is it like tofu, or does it smell bad? Make up your mind, man. quote:It was colder when we returned home. The melted snow had refrozen; it was as if a thin sheet of glass covered everything—each pine needle, each fern frond, each blade of grass was iced over. They already barely check the Cullens' records anyway. These guys can do anything they want. quote:It was just a year or two, and then the girl would disappear. She would go on with her life—she would have a life to go on with. She’d go to college somewhere, start a career, perhaps marry someone. I could picture that—I could see the girl dressed all in white and walking at a measured pace, her arm through her father’s. Very subtle, Meyer. quote:I should leave her to her future. Stop risking her life. That was the right thing to do. Carlisle always chose the right way. I should listen to him now. I would. He won't. quote:The sun rose behind the clouds, and the faint light glistened off all the frozen glass. It's like....just the first one. quote:I went inside to change into fresh clothes for school. What's so appealing about Edward that his family can't bear to see him leave? All he does is mope and throw tantrums. quote:“They’ll need you all the more if I’m not here to watch out for them. And think of Esme. Would you take half her family away in one blow?” The one clear image: sparkles. quote:“I didn’t catch much of that,” I told her when the vision went dark. "Like you were written by a first-time author." quote:She stuck out her tiny tongue at me. Normal conversation. quote:“Go get dressed. I won’t say anything—I’ll let you tell the others when you’re ready.” What do you even do with her? Do you hang out? quote:It was a quiet ride to school. Jasper could feel that Alice was upset about something, but he knew that if she wanted to talk about it, she would have done so already. Emmett and Rosalie were oblivious, having another of their moments, gazing into each other’s eyes with wonder—it was rather disgusting to watch from the outside. We were all quite aware how desperately in love they were. Or maybe I was just being bitter because I was the only one alone. Some days it was harder than others to live with three sets of perfectly matched lovers. This was one of them. I would be! quote:Of course, the first thing I did when we reached the school was to look for the girl. Just preparing myself again. Edward had eighty years to find something to do and all he's done is be lame and play piano a lot. quote:She had not yet arrived, but I could hear the thunderous chugging of her truck’s engine in the distance. I leaned against the side of the car to wait. Alice stayed with me while the others went straight to class. They were already bored with my fixation—it was incomprehensible to them how any human could hold my interest for so long, no matter how appealing she smelled. Because your obsession is already on the verge of stalker behavior and they can tell that's not normal? quote:The girl drove slowly into view, her eyes intent on the road and her hands tight on the wheel. She seemed anxious about something. It took me a second to figure out what that something was, to realize that every human wore the same expression today. Ah, the road was slick with ice, and they were all trying to drive more carefully. I could see she was taking the added risk seriously. She jumped off a cliff. quote:She parked not too far from me, but she hadn’t noticed me standing here yet, staring at her. I wondered what she would do when she saw me? Blush and walk away? That was my first guess. But maybe she would stare back. Maybe she would come to talk to me. "I will just stare at her unblinking from a distance." quote:Instead of turning toward the school, she made her way to the rear of her truck, clinging to the side of the truck bed in a droll way, not trusting her footing. It made me smile, and I felt Alice’s eyes on my face. I didn’t listen to whatever this made her think—I was having too much fun watching the girl check her snow chains. She actually looked in some danger of falling, the way her feet were sliding around. No one else was having trouble—had she parked in the worst of the ice? Super smart vampire brain, forgetting she's from a desert. quote:She paused there, staring down with a strange expression on her face. It was… tender. As if something about the tire was making her… emotional? You're entitled to nothing, motherfucker. quote:I would go talk to her. She looked like she could use a hand anyway, at least until she was off the slick pavement. Of course, I couldn’t offer her that, could I? I hesitated, torn. As averse as she seemed to be to snow, she would hardly welcome the touch of my cold white hand. I should have worn gloves— "Hey, sorry my hands are clammy." That's it. All you have to say. quote:“NO!” Alice gasped aloud. "Injudicious speed"? gently caress off. quote:The vision came just half a second before the reality. Tyler’s van rounded the corner as I was still watching what had pulled the horrified gasp from Alice’s lips. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmyJ1RVfnPE Same energy. quote:Not her! The words shouted in my head as if they belonged to someone else. If you took her from standing to the ground in a hundredth of a second, that would be an instantaneous acceleration to over 300 MPH. You would have sliced her in half. quote:When I heard her head thump against the ice, it felt as though I had turned to ice, too. This van is sentient! It's trying to kill her! Seriously, Meyer realized that the way she initially wrote it made no sense so she just had Edward pull her out of the way before the van somehow loops around the truck to come back for more. quote:A word I’d never said before in the presence of a lady slid between my clenched teeth. This motherfucker's so Mormon he can't even say bad words. quote:I had already done too much. As I’d nearly flown through the air to push her out of the way, I’d been fully aware of the mistake I was making. Knowing that it was a mistake did not stop me, but I was not oblivious to the risk I was taking—not just for myself, but for my entire family. I think we found evidence of another supernatural phenomenon in the Twilight universe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20BeizHnW3s quote:I dropped her and threw my hands out, catching the van before it could touch the girl. The force of it hurled me back into the car parked beside her truck, and I could feel its frame buckle behind my shoulders. The van shuddered and shivered against the unyielding obstacle of my arms, and then swayed, balancing unstably on its two far tires. I've never been so bored with an action scene. quote:With an internal groan, I shoved the van so that it rocked away from us for an instant. As it fell back toward me, I caught it under the frame with my right hand while I wrapped my left arm around the girl’s waist again and dragged her out from under the threatening tire, pulling her tight against my side. Her body moved limply as I swung her around so that her legs would be in the clear—was she conscious? How much damage had I done to her in my impromptu rescue attempt? Realistically, you've done enough damage to tear her body to shreds! quote:I let the van drop, now that it could not hurt her. It crashed to the pavement, all the windows shattering in unison. That's some shoddy construction! quote:I knew that I was in the middle of a crisis. How much had she seen? Had any other witnesses watched me materialize at her side and then juggle the van while I tried to keep her out from under it? These questions should be my biggest concern. Imagine if Bella had been allowed to get crushed and Edward just immediately ran in and started licking the blood from her corpse in front of everyone. quote:Her eyes were open, staring in shock. So Bella's eyes were supposed to be open wide and witness everything...but he was explicitly moving too fast for the human eye to see and the van violated several laws of physics itself. quote:“Be careful,” I warned her. “I think you hit your head pretty hard.” "Dear Lord, Edward! You've pulverized all of her internal organs! The whiplash has powdered her spinal column!" quote:“Ow,” she said, her tone comically shocked as she realized I was right about her head. "Bella the van just crashed into your truck and then sprang off at a 90-degree angle. Clearly my speed is of the least concern." quote:“I was standing right next to you, Bella.” I knew from experience that if I was very confident as I lied, it made any questioner less sure of the truth. Gaslighting just comes naturally to him now! quote:She struggled to move again, and this time I allowed it. I needed to breathe so that I could play my role correctly. I needed space from her warm-blooded heat so that it would not combine with her scent to overwhelm me. I slid away from her, as far as was possible in the small space between the wrecked vehicles. Two medical degrees. quote:“But it’s cold,” she objected. The chin! quote:“Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way.” Nothing about what happened is rational! quote:Her jaw set. “No.” None at all. She shouldn't. Ever. quote:“Why?” she asked, still defensive. You don't have to tell me how to read dialogue. quote:“Fine.”
|
|
#
?
Aug 28, 2020 21:54
|
|
|
This is, somehow, even more boring from Edward's POV. Since you've said it improves after the point the original draft ends, how much longer is that?
|
|
#
?
Aug 29, 2020 05:45
|
|
|
Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:This is, somehow, even more boring from Edward's POV. Since you've said it improves after the point the original draft ends, how much longer is that? It’s almost exactly at the 33% mark. We’re at about 10% now.
|
|
#
?
Aug 29, 2020 06:19
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 05:59 |
|
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 30, 2020 00:50
|
|