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loving hell. I just found a quote from the Illustrated Guide that explains everything about the Quileute.quote:Jacob was an afterthought. He wasn’t suppose to exist in the original story. When I wrote the second half of Twilight first, there was no Jacob character. He started to exist about the point where I kind of hit a bit of a wall: I could not make Edward say the words, “I’m a vampire”. There was no way that was ever coming out of his mouth - he couldn’t do it. And that goes back to what we were talking about with characters. You know, he had been keeping the truth about himself secret for so long, and it was something he was so… unhappy about, and devastated about. He would never have been able to tell her. She took an entire nearly extinct tribe and used them as a cheap plot device. Knowing their real mythology, she purposefully changed all of it for her self-insert fantasy.
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Aug 30, 2020 06:58
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quote:And, yet, as soon as I gave him life, and gave him a chance to open his mouth, I just found him so endearing. He took on this personality that was just so funny and easy. And you just love characters you don’t have to work for. Well now we know why the book keeps repeating that marrying him would be so easy and perfect, despite the fact that he and Bella have nothing in common.
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Aug 30, 2020 16:54
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I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt on not being a complete tool though she’s a really bad writer but so much for that I guess.
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Aug 30, 2020 18:28
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I'm sure she's said before that she didn't consume much vampire media at all. Why was she married to the idea that werewolves and vampires don't get along? I still don't know why they wouldn't to be honest. I know it's common in media, the media she said she hadn't seen.
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Aug 30, 2020 18:33
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HopperUK posted:I'm sure she's said before that she didn't consume much vampire media at all. Why was she married to the idea that werewolves and vampires don't get along? I still don't know why they wouldn't to be honest. I know it's common in media, the media she said she hadn't seen. It's sunk into pop culture and it was a pretty common conception even before Twilight. If she mentioned vampires or writing a vampire book to anyone the topic of werewolves being their enemies would have come up eventually I bet.
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Aug 30, 2020 19:04
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quote:While the rescue attempt began around us—adults arriving, authorities called, sirens in the distance—I tried to ignore the girl and get my priorities in the right order. I searched through every mind in the lot, the witnesses and the latecomers both, but I could find nothing dangerous. Many were surprised to see me here beside Bella, but all assumed—as there was no other possible conclusion—that they had just not noticed me standing by the girl before the accident. She was the only one who didn’t accept the easy explanation, but she would be considered the least reliable witness. She had been frightened, traumatized, not to mention sustaining a blow to her head. Possibly in shock. It would be acceptable for her story to be confused, wouldn’t it? No one would give it much credence above so many other spectators’. Just casually popping all the dents out of a van in front of everyone. quote:It was frustrating to wait—so many eyes on me—as the humans struggled with the van, trying to pull it away from us. I might have helped them, just to speed the process, but I was already in enough trouble and the girl had sharp eyes. Finally, they were able to shift it far enough away for the EMTs to get to us with their stretchers. A familiar grizzled face appraised me. Bella, you could have brain damage. quote:She did not contradict my story immediately, though, and this made me feel easier. huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumans quote:As they put a neck brace on her—and her face flushed scarlet with embarrassment—I used the moment of distraction to quietly rearrange the shape of the dent in the tan car with the back of my foot. Only my siblings noticed what I was doing, and I heard Emmett’s mental promise to catch anything I missed. Amazingly, the way Edward describes Charlie's thoughts here is important. quote:When Alice had warned me that killing Charlie Swan’s daughter would kill him, too, she had not been exaggerating. Oh, now you remember other people are real and have emotions? quote:“Bella!” he shouted. And there you have it. Powers are genetic, and Charlie has limited resistance to Edward's mind reading. This is introduced out of nowhere and will not become important again....at least, not for Charlie. quote:I’d never spent much time around the town’s police chief. I’d always taken him for a man of slow thought—now I realized that I was the one who was slow. His thoughts were partially concealed, not absent. I could only make out the tenor, the tone of them. Also, Edward had trouble hearing Charlie's thoughts and immediately went "Huh, dude must be the stupidest fucker in town." So get hosed Edward! quote:I wanted to listen harder, to see if I could find in this new, lesser puzzle the key to the girl’s secrets. But Bella had been loaded into the back by then, and the ambulance was on its way. For a book that drags on so much, it sure transitions to new scenes fast! quote:It was easy to find my father’s familiar mind. He was in his small office, all alone—the second stroke of luck in this luckless day. Super vampire brains, capable of analyzing any situation within fractions of a second. quote:“She’s hurt, though, Carlisle, probably not seriously, but—” Hang on, you can't just casually mention Carlisle having an undiscovered Childe Hassam painting in his office! quote:He circled the desk and embraced me for a short moment before stepping back.  quote:Carlisle heard the distaste in my voice. Perhaps that won’t be necessary. Let’s see what happens, shall we? It sounds like I have a patient to check on. And as we all know, no it's not! quote:I waited alone in Carlisle’s office—one of the longest hours I had ever lived—listening to the hospital full of thoughts. You just said why: he's consumed with guilt and very upset. Bella is just being a selfish bitch who wants Tyler to stop having emotions that make her uncomfortable. quote:There was a tense moment for me when Tyler asked her how she’d gotten out of the way. Stop that. quote:“Edward Cullen,” she said, when Tyler didn’t realize whom she meant. I found myself at the door, my hand on the knob. The desire to see her was growing stronger. I had to remind myself of the need for caution. Overcome with a need for dramatic entrances. quote:“He was standing next to me.” Surprise? Is her Sueness causing people to uncontrollably consider her desirable against their will? quote:I was out in the hall then, halfway to the emergency room, without thinking for one second about what I was doing. Luckily, the nurse entered the room before I could—it was Bella’s turn for X-rays. I leaned against the wall in a dark nook just around the corner and tried to get a grip on myself while she was wheeled away. That's because you're a dumbass stalker, Edward. quote:I stayed where I was for as long as I could, but impatience got the best of me and I took a roundabout way to the radiology room. She’d already been moved back to the ER, but I was able to peek at her X-rays while the nurse’s attention was elsewhere. Highly improbable! quote:Carlisle caught me there. You and Bella really are made for each other: lying to your dad to keep being an rear end in a top hat. quote:“I think I’m going to go talk to her—before she sees you,” I murmured under my breath. “Act natural, like nothing happened. Smooth it over.” All acceptable reasons. Contusions are bruises. They wouldn't show up on an X-ray. quote:“I’m beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Has anyone in this series ever seen through a lie? quote:When I got to the ER, Tyler was mumbling under his breath, still apologizing. The girl was trying to escape his remorse by pretending to sleep. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing was not even, and now and then her fingers would twitch impatiently. "Perhaps I need to follow her around until I realize why!" quote:Finally, I took a deep breath and moved into view. I know this is supposed to be Meyer trying to state outright that Edward isn't lying when he insists that he's got all these subconscious warning signs to humans that he's a SUPERPREDATOR, but I'm taking it as Edward specifically not knowing how to smile in a way that isn't creepy. quote:It was amazingly easy to ignore Tyler, lying no more than four feet from me, his deeper wounds still oozing blood. I’d never understood how Carlisle was able to do that—ignore the blood of his patients in order to treat them. Wouldn’t the constant temptation be so distracting, so dangerous? But now… I could see how, if you were focusing on something else hard enough, the temptation would be nothing at all. Yeah there's no way you have two medical degrees. Unless you got them by a correspondence course in the 1920s. quote:I kept my distance from her, seating myself on the foot of Tyler’s mattress. Why do you only smile when she's upset? quote:I could hear Carlisle in the hall now. If you go back to Bella's perspective, her jaw is dropping because she thinks Carlisle is the hottest thing on God's Green Earth. quote:“So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling?” Carlisle asked. He had a wonderfully soothing bedside manner that put most patients at ease within moments. I couldn’t tell how it affected Bella. That's because in the original book there was literally no detail. quote:“I’m fine,” she said quietly. Please calm down, sir. quote:“Tender?” Carlisle asked. This isn't "brave"! It's loving stupid! She's trying to deny injury in front of a doctor so she doesn't get treatment for no goddamn reason! quote:Possibly the most vulnerable creature I’d ever seen, and she didn’t want to seem weak. A chuckle slid through my lips.  quote:“Well,” Carlisle said, “your father is in the waiting room—you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all.” You liked that you could do things normal people can do? quote:“Do you want to stay?” Carlisle asked. Edward stop getting jealous of your dad. quote:“I’m fine,” she said before he could comment, faint pink in her cheeks. Actually, you've got clear signs of a possible concussion! quote:Of course, that wouldn’t bother Carlisle. He made sure she was balanced, and then dropped his hands. Yes it does. Shut up. quote:Carlisle smiled as he signed her chart. “It sounds like you were extremely lucky.” That's the worst idea you've ever had. quote:“Thanks so much,” I whispered, quick and quiet. Neither human heard me. Carlisle’s lips turned up a tiny bit at my sarcasm as he turned to Tyler. “I’m afraid that you’ll have to stay with us just a little bit longer,” he said as he began examining the superficial lacerations left by the shattered windshield. As opposed to anyone who's capable of basic social interaction? quote:Bella walked deliberately toward me, not stopping until she was uncomfortably close. I remembered how I had hoped, before all the chaos, that she would approach me. This was like a mockery of that wish. Great job, Carlisle. Send in the guy who's constantly driven to decapitate her with his teeth to handle all the delicate speaking. quote:“Your father is waiting for you,” I reminded her, my jaw clenched tight.  quote:I was full of so many conflicting emotions as I stalked out of the room, listening to her stumbling footsteps behind me, trying to keep up. Stumbling? Are they letting go someone so injured she can't even walk in a straight line? quote:I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play—I had the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel. You never have those better impulses! You're always either a dick or manipulating older women! quote:It made it worse to know that this would be the last memory she would have of me. This was my farewell scene. I want to break a shovel on this prima donna's giant pompadour. quote:I turned on her. I know we're supposed to feel bad for Bella, but I really don't after 4 books. quote:“You promised,” she whispered. THE CHIN It's notable that in the original book, none this chin-jousting is mentioned. It seems to be an idea Meyer got in her head for what showing defiance looks like and she began applying it to everything and everyone at this time. quote:“What do you want from me, Bella?” Which is impossible, because Edward explicitly said he was moving too fast for anything to be visible to the human eye! quote:“You think I lifted a van off you?” I asked, elevating the level of sarcasm in my tone. Yes, from Edward's perspective: why? What has this girl done that makes you convinced she will be the one to keep your secret after almost 90 years? quote:The shock of it ruined my carefully designed expression for half a second, and then I pulled myself together. “ Oh, buddy, you are in for a hell of a future. quote:She was asking me to trust her. Just as I wanted her to trust me. But this was a line I could not cross. Like reading this book? quote:We scowled at each other.
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Sep 1, 2020 16:56
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Chapter 4: Visionsquote:I went back to school. This was the right thing to do, the most inconspicuous way to behave. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcKGw-IO5Uc quote:School today was—somehow, impossibly—even more boring than it had seemed just a week ago. Coma-like. It was as if the color had drained from the bricks, the trees, the sky, the faces around me.… I stared at the cracks in the walls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fWyzwo1xg0 quote:There was another right thing I should be doing… that I was not. Of course, it was also a wrong thing. It all depended on one’s perspective. All right, plan made. Let's see how he handles it! quote:“I’m surprised to see you in class, Edward. I heard you were involved in that awful accident this morning.” Ah. Terribly. quote:It was the wrong thing to do. Unless you looked at it from a more obscure point of view. And then Bella immediately spills the beans to everyone in a panic because you judged her wrong and now you need to flee town? quote:I had a nearly identical conversation with Mrs. Goff—just in Spanish rather than in English—and Emmett gave me a long look. A fistfight between Edward and Jasper to see who gets it first. quote:I shuddered again, but not just in horror. Part of me shivered in desire. How did anyone ever trust this guy with plans? quote:Look out for Jasper, Emmett went on, oblivious to my reverie. He’s not as angry… but he’s more resolved. And then they somehow conceal the evidence by immediately pulverizing the chair and pretending it never existed in the first place. Somehow nobody notices. quote:EASY! he ordered. It's always impossible to figure out what time scale these psychic conversations take place in. The writing makes it sound like Emmett is just mentally sounding out sentences in his head and it takes as long as a normal conversation would, but then Edward says it's all happening super fast and most people don't even notice it. quote:drat, kid, you’re a mess, Emmett added, sympathy in his tone. Should have written the book from Emmett's perspective instead. quote:The rage simmered, barely under control. Yes, Emmett was stronger than I was, but he’d yet to beat me in a wrestling match. He claimed that this was because I cheated, but hearing thoughts was just as much a part of who I was as his immense strength was a part of him. We were evenly matched in a fight. Such a loving family that he cares about so much that he'd *checks notes* fight them all to the death over his crush. quote:But it wasn’t fair to leave her undefended when I was the one who’d put her in danger! So he's not really an ally because if he gets outvoted on killing Bella then he just won't do anything? quote:Esme, doubtful. She would not side against me, either, and she would hate to disagree with Carlisle, but she would be for any plan that kept her family intact. Her first priority would not be what was right, but me. If Carlisle was the soul of our family, then Esme was the heart. He gave us a leader who deserved following; she made that following into an act of love. We all loved each other—even under the fury I felt toward Jasper and Rose right now, even planning to fight them to save the girl, I knew that I loved them. What would she even do, then? This is like Carlisle: she won't fight anyone, but she only wants whatever keeps everyone together, so if Rose, Jasper, and Emmett all go against Edward then she'll just stand there and cry. Have you noticed how out of all the Cullens, Meyer wrote the mother figure as the only one who's completely useless except as a mother figure? She generally had the fewest lines in the original books (in Breaking Dawn she went multiple chapters in a row without speaking at all and had virtually no dialogue in the climax except crying) and she has no particular purpose to the story or abilities except supernaturally augmented ability to love. It's also really weird if you think about it because Esme is biologically only 27 and Edward is the only Cullen under 18. Jasper is chronologically half a century older than her. But she still treats all of them like her children! Actually, take a look at every mother or mother figure in the books. Renee is a useless womanchild to the point of Bella being deprived of a normal childhood because she can't handle basic chores or schedules, Sue Clearwater does pretty much nothing and shacks up with Charlie within months of her husband (Charlie's best friend!) dying of a heart attack so she doesn't have to end the series single. Bella is supposedly the strongest vampire with the coolest and most useful power at the end of the series, but she doesn't really do anything for the climax except clutch her baby to her breast and cry dramatically. When Rosalie has an opportunity to be a surrogate mother, she stops doing anything but obsessing over the baby. The books idolize not just motherhood, but an incredibly passive idea of it where you lose all agency. You take care of your business with keeping house and loving your kids (who, in turn, unconditionally love you because you're their mother) while the men handle everything else. quote:Alice… I had no idea. It would probably depend on what she saw coming. She would side with the winner, I imagined. And Alice is so beholden to her visions that she's lost much of her free will! quote:So I would have to do this without help. I wasn’t a match for them alone, but I wasn’t going to let the girl be hurt because of me. That might mean evasive action. Horny. quote:I wasn’t sure how to manage that, though—kidnapping her. I wouldn’t be able to stand being close to her for very long. Perhaps I would just deliver her back to her mother. Even that much would be fraught with danger. For her. Yes, we know. Thanks. quote:The time passed quickly while I mulled over all the complications ahead of me: the argument waiting for me at home, the conflict with my family, the lengths I might be forced to go to afterward. Even at her most angry, in her thoughts, she's still Mormon. quote:Emmett was right about Jasper. He was sure of his course. Can't vampires just reattach their severed body parts flawlessly with their venom? It happens in Bree Tanner a lot. Casual dismemberment should be a lot more common! quote:I concentrated on Alice, memorizing Jasper’s different avenues of attack. Through the power of Daddy. quote:We went straight to the dining room. Again, invest in some blood storage methods. Bottle that poo poo up and have dinner like a family. quote:I had a feeling that the setting was not going to help much today. Oh no! They're in the Parents Pose! quote:Stay. It was her only thought. She had no idea of what was about to start; she was just worried about me. Because, again, he's 24 and masquerading as a doctor with a bunch of adopted teenagers. quote:As everyone else sat, I could see the lines being drawn. This is another weird thing Meyer does. Whenever she wants people to be divided, they always square off in specific battle lines with whoever's on their side. When Amun was arguing with Carlisle by hissing, all of the vampires who were still with the Cullens dutifully formed a spectator ring while the people fighting went to the center and stood across from each other. Esme, Kebi, Tia, and Benjamin all stood with whoever's side they were on. quote:I took a deep breath. I had started this—I should speak first. Her supernaturally augmented love of families is the only explanation I have for why Esme would be so upset about not having Edward around. quote:I patted her hand. “It’s just a few years.” For someone who's supposed to be the big dumb muscle and spent most of Breaking Dawn being a frat douche, Emmett has almost always been right in his plans! quote:“Alice will catch anything major,” I disagreed. And you've barely spoken to her! quote:“I know this much. Alice, back me up.” But...they're explicitly not ignoring it. quote:Rosalie’s palm smacked down on the table with a loud bang. “We can’t allow the human a chance to say anything. Carlisle, you must see that. Even if we decided to all disappear, it’s not safe to leave stories behind us. We live so differently from the rest of our kind—you know there are those who would love an excuse to point fingers. We have to be more careful than anyone else!” Rosalie Hale: Professional Badass. quote:“Yes, Rosalie, we all know how proficient an assassin you are,” I snarled. Oh gently caress off. The only people Rosalie ever killed were her own rapists and murderers, the same people Edward killed when he decided to prey on humans. She's maintained the moral high ground for almost a century now. quote:She hissed at me, momentarily beyond words. If only that could last. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u6QAjMjtLM quote:“Edward, please,” Carlisle said. Then he turned to Rosalie. “Rosalie, I looked the other way in Rochester because I felt that you were owed your justice. The men you killed had wronged you monstrously. This is not the same situation. The Swan girl is entirely innocent.” Let's be real: what chance does Bella actually have of revealing them? She was the only person to see anything. If she said "Edward Cullen appeared in the blink of an eye and blocked a van with his bare hands", the average person's response would be to either laugh and bully her or say that her head injury clearly hosed with her memory. It's the same how they think that being seen sparkling briefly in the sunlight will cause them to get mistaken for anything except a body glitter addict. quote:There was a brief moment of silence while Carlisle thought through his answer. When he nodded, Rosalie’s eyes lit up. She should have known better. Even if I hadn’t been able to read his thoughts, I could have anticipated his next words. Carlisle never compromised. Oh really? quote:“I know you mean well, Rosalie, but… I’d like very much for our family to be worth protecting. The occasional… accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of what we are.” It was very like him to include himself in the plural, though he had never had such a lapse himself. “To murder a blameless child in cold blood is another thing entirely. I believe the risk she presents, whether she speaks her suspicions or not, is nothing to the greater risk. If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk something much more important. We risk losing the essence of who we are.” "Unless the Volturi or any vampires that we need as allies show up. Then we just ask them to please kill people in the next town over and hand out our cars to make it easier for them to cruise for victims." quote:Rosalie sighed heavily and her lower lip pouted out. Emmett patted her shoulder. “It’ll be fine, Rose,” he encouraged in a low voice. Why? You're billionaires. Play up that you all get plastic surgery to keep looking young for decades. quote:“I like it here! There’s so little sun, we get to be almost normal.” What do the Cullens do outdoors, anyway? Alice loves shopping, but we never see the rest of the family actually hanging out away from the house. Nobody's going to the park or beach, none of them seem to go down main street to buy new books or kitschy art or antiques, we never see them go to sporting events or concerts or movies. There's a few mentions of them doing things in the past but we only see them at home reading, playing chess, playing piano, or staring longingly at each other. quote:“Well, we certainly don’t have to decide now. We can wait and see if it becomes necessary. Edward seems certain of the Swan girl’s silence.” Oh hey, we're actually getting characterization! quote:“Jasper,” I said. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kyy5P1hNCBw quote:I repeated myself, emphasizing each word. “I will not allow it.” "You're supposed to just sit quietly and cry about how existence is a prison!" quote:He shook his head once. “And I will not let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don’t feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Edward, and you haven’t lived through what I’ve lived through, whether you’ve seen my memories or not. You don’t understand.” Does anyone remember them actually doing this pose? quote:“But… Alice…,” Jasper gasped. I couldn’t manage to turn my head to see his expression. I couldn’t tear myself away from the image in Alice’s vision in order to hear his thoughts. I'm shipping it. quote:I was still locked into Alice’s thoughts. I saw the future shimmer as Jasper’s resolve floundered in the face of her unexpected request. I thought she just recited every number in Russian or something? quote:“What, Alice? What are you hiding?” "And she will gently caress around to find out." quote:I could see what she saw… but I could not accept it. Agreed. quote:“I have to leave,” I whispered to Alice, ignoring him. "Unless Jasper injures her trying to eat her. Then we'll definitely have to all leave in the most suspicious and damaging way possible." quote:“I don’t see you going anywhere, Edward,” Alice told me. “I don’t know if you can leave anymore.” Think about it, she added silently. Think about leaving. But she isn't. Alice just said that her virtually infallible future vision says she's not a danger. If Jasper goes and kills her anyway, that just makes him evil. quote:“I don’t hear that,” I contradicted her, still only halfway aware of our audience. Jasper was wavering. He would not do something that would hurt Alice. Not right this moment. Are you sure it's not the same? quote:“Love her, too?” I whispered, incredulous. "You are all pawns following my will, after all." quote:“Oh, come on!” Emmett bellowed. I can't tell if this is Rosalie doing her own huuuuuumans thing or if she's just rolling her eyes at how Edward always makes the worst choices possible in his life. quote:I scarcely heard her. Our hero, standing in the middle of the room and staring in shock without doing anything. quote:“Fall for a human?” Esme repeated in a stunned voice. “For the girl he saved today? Fall in love with her?” I take it "Everyone leaves and Edward handles his emotions with maturity and grace" isn't on the table, then. quote:Someone gasped; I didn’t look to see who. How does that make sense? He's actually talked to her twice, with the second time ending very badly, and her scent is so impossibly addictive that he can barely restrain himself from going full psycho killer when she shows up, but somehow the second part is easier to avoid? quote:I couldn’t find my voice. No one else seemed to be able to, either. The room was still. Now to stand here frozen in despair for 8 hours. quote:I stared at Alice, and everyone else stared at me. I could see my own horrified expression from five different viewpoints. Edward just gets to watch himself get humiliated from a multi-cam view. quote:After a long moment, Carlisle sighed. “Well, this… complicates things.” Yes! Bully him more! quote:“I suppose the plans remain the same, though,” Carlisle said thoughtfully. “We’ll stay, and watch. Obviously, no one will… hurt the girl.” That's not a sound. quote:I had to leave, to be away from the noise of their thoughts—Rosalie’s self-righteous disgust, Emmett’s humor, Carlisle’s never-ending patience.… Because in the world of Twilight, the only way a man or woman is complete is if they find a member of the opposite gender to pair off with! quote:I stalked out of the room. Esme reached for my hand as I passed, but I didn’t acknowledge the gesture.  quote:I ran due east, over and through the mountains without breaking my straight course, until I could see a hazy hint of Seattle lights on the other side of the sound. I stopped before I touched the borders of human civilization. This man just ran a hundred miles in a rage. quote:Shut in by the rain, all alone, I finally made myself look at what I had done—at the way I had mutilated the future. There's an alternate universe out there where this is just Bella and Alice dating and Edward is the loser nobody likes. quote:Then the other image, so much the same, yet now colored by horror. Alice and Bella on the front porch of my house, their arms still wrapped around each other in trusting friendship. But now there was no difference between those arms—both were white, smooth as marble, hard as steel. Bella’s eyes were no longer the color of chocolate. The irises were a shocking, vivid crimson. The secrets in them were unfathomable—acceptance or desolation? It was impossible to tell. Her face was cold and immortal. "Immortal" isn't an expression. quote:I shuddered. I could not suppress the questions, similar, but different: What did it mean—how had this come about? And what did she think of me now? Oh buddy, you wish. quote:But there was one even more horrifying image—worse than any I’d ever held inside my head.
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Sep 2, 2020 21:19
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Just think, Eddie. All you had to do to keep everyone safe was nothing, and you couldn't even get that right.
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Sep 2, 2020 22:46
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If that is how Edward reacted to what he heard of Charlie's thoughts, I cannot wait for his impressions on Bella's mom.
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Sep 2, 2020 23:29
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chitoryu12 posted:There's an alternate universe out there where this is just Bella and Alice dating and Edward is the loser nobody likes. I don't think Meyer is capable of understanding same-sex attraction, and I'd be horrified to see her trying to depict it. In this case, 'lesbian sheep freeze' comes to mind.
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Sep 2, 2020 23:36
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Midjack posted:Just think, Eddie. All you had to do to keep everyone safe was nothing, and you couldn't even get that right. The dumbest part is Edward was exactly right. He can barely resist her blood being inside her body, and Jasper regularly fantasizes about eating random girls in the cafeteria on the spot. The chance of anyone believing Bella's wild story about Edward teleporting in and using his Hulk strength to block a car crash is a lot lower than the chance that he and Jasper would have immediately descended on her body to gruesomely consume the remains in front of the entire student body had he not intervened. But despite bringing this up he never says it because....he's embarrassed about it?
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Sep 3, 2020 00:23
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chitoryu12 posted:The dumbest part is Edward was exactly right. He can barely resist her blood being inside her body, and Jasper regularly fantasizes about eating random girls in the cafeteria on the spot. The chance of anyone believing Bella's wild story about Edward teleporting in and using his Hulk strength to block a car crash is a lot lower than the chance that he and Jasper would have immediately descended on her body to gruesomely consume the remains in front of the entire student body had he not intervened. But despite bringing this up he never says it because....he's embarrassed about it? Well sure, but when they first saw it coming they also could have used their catlike reflexes and super speed to get to the other side of town before Bella popped like an overripe melon and not come back until the fire department was done hosing the pavement off.
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Sep 3, 2020 00:32
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Chapter 5: Invitationsquote:High school. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely Hell. Torment and fire… yes, I had both. Sir this is a high school cafeteria. quote:I was doing everything correctly now. Every i dotted, every t crossed. No one could complain that I was shirking my responsibilities. If you go back to the first book, the previous chapter is the first to not actually match up with one from Twilight. Bella does nothing but sleep through it from her point of view. quote:I was determined to change the future. Not the easiest task to set for oneself, but there was no other choice I could live with. Bella had decided overnight that she needed to be grateful to Edward for saving her and attempted to be pleasant. quote:The questions had stabbed and twisted like the thirst that attacked me every time I breathed. And this is less suspicious than just not coming back to school? quote:That afternoon, as soon as school was finished, my role played, I ran halfway to Seattle, as I had the day before. It seemed that I could handle the aching just slightly better when I was flying over the ground, turning everything around me into a green blur. Imagine how horrifying this really is from Edward's perspective. Alice told him he has two choices: kill her, or turn her into the soulless monster that he thinks they all are. Esme's reaction of happiness is pretty awful if you take it from that angle! quote:More than a month passed, and every day it got harder. That made no sense to me—I kept waiting to get over it, to have the struggle become easier or at least level off. This must be what Alice had meant when she’d predicted that I would not be able to stay away from the girl. She had seen the escalation of the pain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs quote:As this hell ground on, I lumped my torments into four categories. You shouldn't be here then quote:The curiosity was the most constant of my torments. The question was never out of my mind: What is she thinking now? When I heard her quiet sigh. When she twisted a lock of hair absently around her finger. When she threw her books down with more force than usual. When she rushed into class late. When she tapped her foot impatiently against the floor. Each movement caught in my peripheral vision was a maddening mystery. When she spoke to the other human students, I analyzed her every word and tone. Was she speaking her thoughts, or what she thought she should say? It often sounded to me as though she was trying to say what her audience expected, and this reminded me of my family and our daily life of illusion—we were better at it than she was. But why would she have to play a role? She was one of them—a human teenager. Bella's narration gave no indication of this. quote:Only… she occasionally didn’t behave like one. For example, when Mr. Banner assigned a group project in Biology. It was his practice to let the students choose their partners. As always happened with group projects, the bravest of the ambitious students—Beth Daws and Nicholas Laghari—quickly asked if I would join them. I shrugged my acceptance. They knew I would complete my portion perfectly, and theirs, too, if they left it undone. Who? That's right: this is a character who never existed before now! quote:Mr. Banner usually had to assign Tara to a group. She looked more surprised than pleased when Bella tapped her on the shoulder and awkwardly asked if she wanted to work with her and Mike. Again, this is not the same Bella we saw in the previous books. This is the "selflessness" we were supposed to believe she was capable of, not just an eager desire to kill herself for no good reason in between doing household chores. What would we have thought of Bella last year if only we could never see inside her head? quote:Then there was the time at lunch when Jessica and Lauren were talking about the number-one dream destinations on their bucket lists. Jessica chose Jamaica, only to feel immediately one-upped when Lauren countered with the French Riviera. Tyler chimed in with Amsterdam, thinking of the famous red-light district, and the others began sounding off. I waited anxiously for Bella’s answer to the question, but before Mike (who liked the idea of Rio) could ask for her take, Eric enthusiastically named Comic Con, and the table erupted in laughter. I'm going to assume that Edward taking Bella to Rio in Breaking Dawn was specifically to spite Mike now. quote:“What a dork,” Lauren hissed. This never happened either! We completely skipped over the month of silence last time! quote:Eric started breaking down ticket prices and hotels versus sleeping in a car. Jessica and Lauren returned to their earlier conversation while Mike listened unhappily to Eric and Bella. Holy poo poo, this book is making Bella Swan a completely different character! quote:Through all these little things, I was able to add the most important quality to my list, the most revealing of them all, as simple as it was rare. Bella was good. All the other things added up to that whole: Kind and self-effacing and unselfish and brave—she was good through and through. And no one seemed aware of that besides me. Though Mike was certainly observing her nearly as often. I mentioned how Jessica, Mike, and the others have all had additional characterization added through their thoughts that seem to be present purely to bring them in line with Meyer's intentions rather than how readers interpreted them. Little did anyone expect her to do the same to the protagonist. Why? Because both of these stories are completely new for the published book! In the original draft, we skip straight from Edward going "Can she truly be a human teenager and not playing a part like us vampires?" to the next paragraph. The original draft was still a pure "tell, don't show" where Edward simply insisted that Bella was a good person because she was a doormat who would say whatever people expected her to at that moment to avoid conflict. It looks like Meyer caught on and decided that she needed to actually demonstrate how Bella is being kind to people instead of being an empty shell. And honestly? I'd have rather this been the first book than Twilight at this point. This is the Bella that fans wanted all along, the one they truly saw themselves in, rather than the quasi-sociopathic lunatic that she was on the page. quote:And right there was the most surprising of my torments: Mike Newton. Who would have ever dreamed that such a generic, boring mortal could be so infuriating? To be fair, I should have felt some gratitude to him; more than the others, he kept the girl talking. I learned so much about her through these conversations, but Mike’s assistance with this project only aggravated me. I didn’t want him to be the one who unlocked her secrets. Still bad writing and a bizarre obsession on Edward's part, but if you read the original draft you can see for yourself just how much adding those stories about Bella help completely change the context of that paragraph. Originally it was literally Edward telling the reader "Bella is selfless and brave and you should love her." He himself was "creating a Bella in his head who didn't exist." Now it's just his overwrought inner monologue discussing what we've actually seen her do for ourselves. Midnight Sun in its published form reads like a fanfic of Twilight, but not in the same way I meant with Breaking Dawn. With the previous book, I meant it in that it was a bad fic being written by an incompetent writer who had their own bizarre ideas for what the Twilight universe should be like. Everyone is out of character, new powers and plot points appear out of nowhere to hastily patch over plot holes, nobody can remember anything, the main cast is suddenly sidelined by a bunch of brand new vampires that the author thinks are even cooler, and the climax is rapidly ended by a deus ex machina. Midnight Sun now reads like someone trying to fix Twilight. Give Bella all of the actual kindness and personality that we were supposed to believe she had, expand on the Cullens' motivations and pasts to try and make their actions make more sense, and make a vain effort at giving Edward some sympathy points. This will only increase as we leave the draft behind fully 1/3 of the way through and are in totally new territory. quote:These helpful discoveries did not warm me to the boy, however. The possessive way he viewed Bella—as if she were an acquisition to be made—provoked me almost as much as his crude fantasies about her. He was becoming more confident of her, too, as time passed, for she seemed to prefer him over those he considered his rivals—Tyler Crowley, Eric Yorkie, and even, sporadically, myself. He would routinely sit on her side of our table before Biology began, chattering at her, encouraged by her smiles. Just polite smiles, I told myself. All the same, I frequently amused myself by imagining backhanding him across the room and into the far wall. It probably wouldn’t injure him fatally.… Jesus Christ, Edward! quote:Mike didn’t often think of me as a rival. After the accident, he’d worried that Bella and I would bond from the shared experience, but obviously the opposite had resulted. Back then, he had still been bothered that I’d singled Bella out over her peers for attention. But now I ignored her just as thoroughly as the others, and he grew complacent. Well, I don't know. We literally can't know without the narrator telling us. The original book provided virtually no indication of what she really thought of Mike's actions at this point. quote:And finally, the last of my torments, the most painful: Bella’s indifference. As I ignored her, she ignored me. She never tried to speak to me again. For all I knew, she never thought about me at all. From her perspective, she just kinda has a crush. quote:“Bella’s going to stare at Edward in a minute. Look normal,” Alice said one Tuesday in March, and the others were careful to fidget and shift their weight. Alice/Bella is the true love of this book. quote:I’ll admit, you’re better than I thought. You’ve got the future all snarled up and senseless again. I hope you’re happy. So....it is possible to change your destiny and nobody has to be beholden to Alice's visions if they try hard enough? quote:I tried to shut her out, too impatient for conversation. I wasn’t in a very good mood—tenser than I let any of them see. Only Jasper was aware of how tightly wound I was, feeling the stress emanate out of me with his unique ability to both sense and influence the moods of others. He didn’t understand the reasons behind the moods, though, and—since I was constantly in a foul temper these days—he disregarded it. Jasper, how dumb are you? The guy responded to being told that he has no choice except turning or killing Bella by screaming and running across the state. What do you think has him so upset to be here? quote:Today would be a hard one. Harder than the day before, as was the pattern. That's because you were always a loving dork obsessed with petty and trivial poo poo and just repressing it to seem smug. quote:Mike was working up his nerve as he walked Bella to Biology. I listened to his struggles as I waited for them to arrive. The boy was weak. He had waited for this dance purposely, afraid to let his infatuation be known before she had shown a marked preference for him. He didn’t want to make himself vulnerable to rejection, preferring that she take that leap first. Yes, so weak and cowardly. Unlike you, who's a big strong boy! quote:He sat down on our table again, comfortable through long familiarity, and I imagined the sound it would make if his body hit the opposite wall with enough force to break most of his bones. Our hero. quote:“So,” he said to the girl, his eyes on the floor. “Jessica asked me to the spring dance.” /cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/50263513/Screen_Shot_2016-08-01_at_12.34.21_PM.0.0.png) quote:Mike did not hear the relief. His face flushed red—fierce as I suddenly felt, this seemed like an open invitation—and he looked at the floor again as he spoke. Once again, remember that this is what Robert Pattinson got to read before going on camera. quote:The fury ached for some kind of physical outlet. Though this insignificant, undeserving boy might not be the one Bella would say yes to, I yearned to pulverize his skull with my fist, to let him stand as a proxy for whoever it would be. It's called "being a psychopath." Remember that this is what Stephenie Meyer considers true love. This is her ultimate man. quote:“Mike, I think you should tell her yes,” Bella said in a gentle voice. Bro, I got dumped by my fiancee and didn't have nearly as much rage as you did upon imagining that the girl you're refusing to speak to would possibly have a life outside you. quote:“Did you already ask someone?” Mike asked sullenly. He glanced at me, suspicious for the first time in many weeks. I realized I had betrayed my interest; my head was inclined in Bella’s direction. Permanently 17 and can't recognize psychotic jealousy? quote:“No,” the girl said with a trace of humor in her voice. “I’m not going to the dance at all.” Edward just goes full Cujo in the middle of class over Mike Newton existing. quote:"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," she answered. Dude's got full Phantom of the Opera vibes here. quote:Mike’s voice turned unpleasantly wheedling. “Can’t you go some other weekend?” She literally just didn't want to go to the dance. quote:“Yeah, you’re right,” Mike mumbled, so demoralized that I almost felt pity for him. Almost. Sir please. quote:Mr. Banner’s voice pulled her from her reverie, and her eyes slowly opened. She looked at me immediately, perhaps sensing my gaze. She stared up into my eyes with the same perplexed expression that had haunted me for so long. Weird flex, but... quote:She didn’t look away, though I stared with inappropriate intensity, trying vainly to read her thoughts through her liquid brown eyes. They were full of questions, rather than answers. She was thinking "Why do I care so much about him looking at me?" quote:I almost asked the question aloud, but at that moment, Mr. Banner called my name. I picked the correct answer out of his head and glanced briefly in his direction, sucking in a quick breath. Acted like a dumbass. quote:Knowing the battle was already lost, there seemed to be no reason to resist what I wanted. I turned to stare at the girl again. Yes, EL James did rip this dumbass idea off for her "inner goddess" in the Fifty Shades series! quote:My brief hour with her passed all too quickly, while I vacillated between the rock and the hard place. The bell rang, and she started collecting her things without looking at me. This disappointed me, but I could hardly expect otherwise. The way I had treated her since the accident was inexcusable. Our favorite part of the series: staring. quote:“What?” she finally said, a hard edge to her voice. “Are you speaking to me again?” You started talking to her! quote:But how to answer her? It's amazing how when we're put in Edward's shoes and never get to see all of Bella's selfish and cruel thoughts, she looks like a completely sympathetic victim dealing with a weird manchild. quote:How could she be thinking that? Saving her life was the one acceptable thing I’d done since I met her. The only thing I was not ashamed of, that made me glad I existed at all. I’d been fighting to keep her alive since the first moment I’d caught her scent. How could she doubt my one good deed in all this mess? Yes, how could she be thinking that? It's not like you intimidated her, vaguely threatened her, and have spent the past month refusing to even look at her before stopping just to tell her that you can't ever be friends. quote:“You think I regret saving your life?” As you'll see with Grey, EL James also blatantly ripped off this pattern of speech for Christian Grey's internal monologue and just peppered it with more BDSM. quote:She jerked her face away, gritting her teeth again. Her cheeks were flushed, with anger this time. Slamming her books together in a pile, she yanked them up into her arms, and marched toward the door without meeting my stare. I don't either! That's weird as hell! quote:She walked stiffly, without looking where she was going, and her foot caught on the lip of the doorway. Her things all crashed to the ground. Instead of bending to get them, she stood rigidly straight, not even looking down, as if she was not sure the books were worth retrieving. "Well she already knows I have superpowers, so..." quote:She bent halfway, saw me, and then froze. I handed her books back to her, making sure my icy skin never touched hers.
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Sep 3, 2020 16:19
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Every time I see the Bio teacher mentioned I keep thinking back to an interview where Meyer confirmed he too had a “slight crush on” Bella. I can’t find the exact quote for the life of me but in trying to search I’m seeing people insist that can’t be because it’s not mentioned in Midnight Sun.
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Sep 3, 2020 17:54
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Weed and sex worker references in one chapter? Gasp, was this in the original leaked draft?
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Sep 3, 2020 18:08
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SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:Every time I see the Bio teacher mentioned I keep thinking back to an interview where Meyer confirmed he too had a “slight crush on” Bella. I can’t find the exact quote for the life of me but in trying to search I’m seeing people insist that can’t be because it’s not mentioned in Midnight Sun. Got it here: quote:Q: Edward once said that there was a list of people who like Bella more than she thinks and she’d be surprised who’s on it. Who are those people on the list? Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWTOs0Vweq8
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Sep 3, 2020 18:20
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MorgaineDax posted:Weed and sex worker references in one chapter? Gasp, was this in the original leaked draft? The two stories of Bella helping a student in Biology and defending Eric were not part of the original draft. After Edward marvels at how strange Bella is while staring at her in class, he immediately jumps to scowling at Mike Newton and how he can't see that Bella is SO SELFLESS and SO BRAVE and HOW COULD ANYONE NOT SEE IT? Meyer seems to have realized in the intervening decade that you actually have to show people doing the things that express their personality instead of having other characters just tell us what they're like and demand their worship.
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Sep 3, 2020 19:10
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chitoryu12 posted:If you go back to the first book, the previous chapter is the first to not actually match up with one from Twilight. Bella does nothing but sleep through it from her point of view. It's telling that this is the most interesting chapter by far. I noticed this when I read the Bree story, but Meyer loves to show the plot from other people's perspectives by copy-pasting dialogue and having them react differently to every line. It's beyond frustrating to read. "I love you, you sparkly motherfucker," I murmured. His eyes widened in surprise. He must have been surprised by my surprising words. "I love you too, you dead-eyed mcguffin," he murmured in reply. I smiled. I was happy. ----- "I love you, you sparkly motherfucker," she murmured. My eyes widened in horny-ness. Her words made me horny. "I love you too you dead-eyed mcguffin," I murmured in reply. She smiled. She must have been horny. and repeat ad nauseam.
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Sep 3, 2020 20:57
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Wow, Meyer's writing has gotten a lot better in 10 years. I mean, Edward is still completely bonkers.
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Sep 4, 2020 04:13
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PetraCore posted:Wow, Meyer's writing has gotten a lot better in 10 years. I mean, Edward is still completely bonkers. This is the first place you'll see a really huge difference. There's been little bits and pieces added in to the previous chapters and some minor edits to word choice and grammar, but for the most part the book is identical to the 2008 leaked draft except for those two stories of Bella being a nice person. The latter two thirds of the book show what development Meyer had in that time, including figuring out what she thought fans wanted to see. At the time she started the draft over a decade ago, I think she was still in the bliss of her overnight fame and wealth and hadn't really internalized any of the criticism; I think she may have started writing this before Breaking Dawn made even the hardcore fans mad. So in some ways, you're seeing an extreme form of the Forever Dawn scenario for the first third of this book. She's taken a nearly unchanged draft from her early years, but has been forced to write the rest at a later date instead of just editing her first draft and submitting it after a few months.
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Sep 4, 2020 04:28
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I'm seriously  on why she would go back and insert this new stuff that is so much better than the original crap without revising any of the original crap. Personally, I find it a struggle to leave things I've previously written untouched because I know I can do so much better now.
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Sep 4, 2020 07:59
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Sep 4, 2020 23:03
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quote:Spanish passed in a blur. Mrs. Goff never questioned my abstraction—she knew my Spanish was superior to hers and gave me a great deal of latitude—leaving me free to think. How do the Cullens get away with all this poo poo? They show up to every school and immediately blow up the grading curve and speak every foreign language better than the teachers despite taking the classes. That's the kind of thing that gets school districts investigating you for cheating. quote:So I couldn’t ignore the girl. That much was obvious. But did it mean I had no choice but to destroy her? That could not be the only available future. There had to be some other choice, some delicate balance. I tried to think of a way. He's so disconnected he can't even figure out his own emotions! quote:But I didn’t have long to ponder. Sensitive as I always was to thoughts about the girl, the sound of Bella’s name in the heads of those humans I really should not think of as rivals caught my attention. Eric and Tyler, having heard—with much satisfaction—of Mike’s failure, were preparing to make their moves. Did that a long time ago! quote:Bella was on her way out of the gym, and I waited where she would not see me. As she got closer to Eric’s ambush, I strode forward, setting my pace so that I would walk by at the right moment. Yes, it would be so terrible if she was being nice because she liked someone and not because she was faking it to make him feel better! Because you're the one who matters, right? quote:Eric swallowed loudly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Wait, girls can make choices in this series? quote:“Well, yeah,” he agreed wretchedly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syhOt6KS5X0 quote:Eric slumped forward and walked away, headed in the wrong direction from his car, his only thought escape. Tell me, Edward: why exactly do you enjoy seeing your crush get harassed and annoyed? quote:I measured Tyler Crowley as competition, knowing it was reprehensible to do so. He seemed tediously average and unremarkable to me, but what did I know of Bella’s preferences? Maybe she liked average boys. Someone get this guy Yorick's skull so he can gesticulate properly in the high school parking lot. quote:Though I ought to have let her escape, my inexcusable curiosity kept me from doing what was right. Again. But what if Tyler missed his chance now, only to contact her later when I would have no way of knowing the outcome? I pulled my Volvo out into the narrow lane, blocking her exit. You know you're being weird when the Cullens are confused and worried by you. quote:I watched the girl in my rearview mirror. She glowered toward the back of my car without meeting my gaze, looking as if she wished she were driving a tank rather than a rusted Chevy. In the original book, it looked like Bella just had bizarre anger management problems and was fantasizing about smashing up Edward's car just for existing too close to her. Knowing now that he was blocking her on purpose just to ensure Tyler could annoy her, I'm on her side. quote:Tyler hurried to his car and got in line behind her, grateful for my inexplicable conduct. He waved at her, trying to catch her attention, but she didn’t notice. He waited a moment, and then left his car, forcing his gait into a saunter as he sidled up to her passenger-side window. He tapped on the glass. "Yes, she must definitely like me better despite everything I've done!" quote:“Will you ask me to the spring dance?” he said, no thought of defeat in his mind. Have you considered she didn't want to go, Edward? quote:Tyler accepted her excuse, his self-assurance untouched. “That’s cool. We still have prom.” "These human males who wish to engage in the courting ritual. Fah! Pathetic! Only I, the weird guy blocking her in the parking lot to see her get harassed, am deserving of her attention!" quote:My family arrived then, confused that I was, for a change, rocking with laughter rather than scowling murderously at everything in sight. Think about what you're saying about yourself, man. quote:What’s so funny? Emmett wanted to know. Rosalie should have been the protagonist instead. quote:No one spoke to me on the way home. I continued to chuckle every now and again, thinking of Bella’s face. You guys have the weirdest life. quote:I took the final hairpin turn at ninety miles an hour, and then screeched to a stop an inch from the rear garage wall. Well, don't be silly! That would be ridiculous to base your future decisions on! quote:I could hunt no more and the sun was still hours and hours from rising. Now that it had occurred to me, the idea of the meteorite and all its possible allies was hard to dismiss. I tried to be rational, to consider the odds against all the disasters I could imagine, but that didn’t help. What were the odds, after all, that the girl would come to live in a town with a decent percentage of vampires as permanent residents? What were the odds that she would appeal to one so perfectly? Goddammit Edward. quote:It was past midnight, and Bella’s house was dark and quiet. Her truck was parked against the curb, her father’s police cruiser in the driveway. There were no conscious thoughts anywhere in the neighborhood. I watched the house from the blackness of the forest that bordered it on the east. Okay, we're fine. Just stay outside. That's it. quote:The problem with waiting was that it freed up the mind for all kinds of speculation. Obviously the meteorite was just a metaphor for all the unlikely things that could go wrong. But not every danger would streak across the sky with a brilliant splash of fire. I could think of many that would give no warning, hazards that could slink into the dark house silently, that might already be there. Edward quote:In only half a second, I had crossed the yard and scaled the side of the house. This upstairs window would be a bedroom, probably the master. Maybe I should have started in the back. Less conspicuous that way. Dangling from the eave above the window by one hand, I looked through the glass, and my breath stopped. Then stop doing it! quote:I relaxed my fingertips, about to let myself drop. But first I allowed myself one long look at her face. It's not rules, you dolt, it's basic morality! quote:I thought of the multitude of illegal documents my family needed to live as we liked. False names and false histories, driver’s licenses that let us enroll in school and medical credentials that allowed Carlisle to work as a doctor. Papers that made our strange grouping of nearly identically aged adults comprehensible as a family. None of it would be necessary if we didn’t try to have brief periods of permanence, if we didn’t prefer to have a home. In case you weren't sure Stephenie Meyer was trying to patch every plot hole she could with publishing Midnight Sun, this interlude into the legal complications the Cullens go through is completely new text. She was apparently informed in the interim how difficult it really would be for vampires to try to live normal lives with the comprehensive records system of modern American society, rather than just getting a fresh driver's license and passport forged every decade. And their wealth is a matter of insider trading (in short, guillotine the vampires) and complicated forging of identities for inheritance! quote:And then there were all the murders. If we assume that vampires remain stagnant in their human states when they die, I'm taking it as canon that Edward Masen would have been a little poo poo of a young man if he survived the Spanish Flu. quote:I knew I could do this safely. The monster was restless but well fettered. And this, right here, is the problem with constantly calling yourself a hideous monster who deserves only scorn: you decide that it's okay to act like it if you want. quote:I tried the window, and it was not locked, though it stuck due to long disuse. I took a deep breath—my last for however long I was near her—and slid the glass slowly aside, cringing at each faint groan of the metal frame. Finally it was open wide enough for me to ease through. Yes, no dark thoughts here. Just a guy breaking into a girl's house to stare at her. Completely wholesome. quote:Had I really once believed her average-looking? I thought of that first day, and my disgust for the human boys who were so fascinated by her. But when I remembered her face in their minds then, I could not understand why I had not immediately found her beautiful. It seemed an obvious thing. If you're thinking that now, does that mean this entire book has been the internal monologue running in your head 24/7? Like, full out dialogue? quote:She did not speak. Perhaps her dream had ended. How about literally right now? quote:The others could not argue with me now. My absence would not put anyone in danger. There would be no suspicion, nothing to link anyone’s thoughts back to the accident. What the gently caress quote:Perhaps I should have let the creature be, but the thought of anything hurting her was intolerable. This is also a new part of the published book. Edward silently killing spiders while sobbing at his own inhumanity inspired some pretty rapid fan art. quote:I could not hope to compete against the human boys, whether these specific boys appealed to her or not. I was the villain, the nightmare. How could she see me as anything else? If she knew the truth about me, it would frighten and repulse her. Like the intended victim in a horror movie, she would run away, shrieking in terror. Great. Then leave her alone. quote:I owed it to her to do the right thing now. I could no longer pretend that I was only in danger of loving this girl. Now to fling myself dramatically across the chair! quote:“Edward,” Bella said. Yes, she really wrote this. quote:“Stay,” she sighed. “Don’t go. Please… don’t go.” That's because you're a permanent child. quote:My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight? And finally, for the last time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u0wg3t6osM quote:At the time I became a vampire, trading my soul and mortality for immortality in the searing pain of transformation, I had truly been frozen. My body had turned into something more like stone than flesh, enduring and unchanging. My self, also, had frozen as it was—my personality, my likes and dislikes, my moods and desires; all were fixed in place. They also have the advantage of being much more pleasant people than you. quote:It would always be so for me, too. I would always love this fragile human girl, for the rest of my limitless existence. Oh no. quote:I loved her, and so I would try to be strong enough to leave her. I knew I wasn’t that strong now. I would work on that one. But perhaps I was strong enough to circumvent the future in another way. And that's....better? quote:I would have to be inordinately careful. I would never, ever be able to let my guard down. I would have to control my every breath. I would have to keep an always cautious distance. Not if she has any say in it! quote:Deliberately, I locked my body into perfect stillness, froze it in place, then took a deep breath. Another, then another, letting her scent rip through me like wildfire. The room was thick with her perfume; her fragrance was layered on every surface. My head swam from the pain, but I fought the spinning. I would have to get used to this if I were going to attempt any kind of regular proximity to her. Another deep, burning breath. Bella Swan was found dead the next morning, having been violently torn to pieces by a rabid bear that broke in through her window. quote:I got home just after the others had left for school. I changed quickly, avoiding Esme’s questioning eyes. She saw the feverish light in my face and felt both worry and relief. My long melancholy had pained her greatly, and she was glad that it seemed to be over. Nobody would notice he was nowhere near his own vehicle? quote:I heard Bella’s truck rumbling around the corner, and I paused behind a Suburban, where I could watch without being seen. Almost like romance doesn't work this way! quote:Well, it was so much the better for her if she didn’t care for me. That wouldn’t stop me from pursuing her, from trying. But I would listen for her no. I owed her that. I owed her more. I owed her the truth I was not allowed to give her. So I would give her as much truth as I could. I would try to warn her. And when she confirmed that I would never be the one she would say yes to, I would leave. And fling myself onto the fire behind my house. quote:I walked silently forward, wondering how best to approach her. It might have spiders in it! quote:I leaned back against her truck as she started and then straightened up. How bad of an idea continuing this conversation is. quote:Did she hear how my voice wrapped around her name like a caress? According to the original book, she didn't notice anything different about how you said her name, you dolt. quote:“Why the traffic jam last night?” she asked without meeting my eyes. “I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don’t exist, not irritating me to death.” Hey, being amused at her being angry with you is actually a terrible thing! quote:“And I’m not pretending you don’t exist,” I finished. It felt right to make my tone casual, teasing. I didn’t want to frighten her more. I had to hide the depth of my feelings, keep things light. If you told me this was the monologue of a serial killer without saying what book it was, I'd believe you. quote:“Bella, you are utterly absurd,” I snapped. If you only ever read this and not Twilight, you'd be feeling sorry for what Bella was dealing with. quote:Keep it light, I reminded myself. This could be the last time I would see her. If that was the case, I needed to leave her with the right memory. So I would play the normal human boy. Most importantly, I would give her a choice, and then accept her answer. I almost wish I could have the memory of the first Twilight wiped from my mind so I could forget all of Bella's horrible private thoughts and actually like her. quote:“You’re doing it again,” I pointed out. "No." And then she walked away forever. quote:She waited in silence, her teeth pressing into her soft lower lip.  quote:“I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride?” I offered. I’d realized that, better than just learning about her plans, I might share them. If she said yes. Good response. quote:“Do you want a ride to Seattle?” Alone in a car with her—my throat burned at the thought. I took a deep breath. Get used to it. Bro, look at yourself. Come on. quote:“Well,” I said as casually as possible, “I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and to be honest, I’m not sure if your truck can make it.” It felt safer to tease her than to allow myself to be too serious. Come on man! quote:“But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?” How did this guy manage to graduate high school so many times in a row without someone breaking their fist on his jaw? quote:“Honestly, Edward, I can’t keep up with you. I thought you didn’t want to be my friend.” The best way to make Bella Swan seem sympathetic: give us someone worse. quote:She paused, under the edge of the cafeteria’s roof, and met my gaze again. Her heartbeats stuttered. In fear or anger? If this were a sane series, yes. quote:All the better. I would collect my no and attempt to bear it. And of course, without the context of Twilight to know that Bella was also crushing on Edward this whole time, this scene would have seemed utterly bizarre. quote:And then my conscience smote me. What would this cost her? The comedy writes itself. quote:And instantly remembered that I would not see her in class. She scattered my thoughts so thoroughly.
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Sep 10, 2020 19:12
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chitoryu12 posted:Spanish passed in a blur. Mrs. Goff never questioned my abstraction—she knew my Spanish was superior to hers and gave me a great deal of latitude—leaving me free to think. Apparently in this white suburban universe, Spanish is never taught by native speakers. quote:Obviously the meteorite was just a metaphor for all the unlikely things that could go wrong. Tell, don't show, kids. quote:“Well,” I said as casually as possible, “I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and to be honest, I’m not sure if your truck can make it.” It felt safer to tease her than to allow myself to be too serious. This...actually works. This is the kind of teasing flirty banter that make us like main characters and hope they get together. In Twilight, Bella has exactly two emotions: anger and love. Every time she talks to someone, she wants the conversation to be over. Reading dialogue without a constant barrage of internal complaints is a nice change.
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Sep 10, 2020 20:01
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hyperhazard posted:This...actually works. This is the kind of teasing flirty banter that make us like main characters and hope they get together. In Twilight, Bella has exactly two emotions: anger and love. Every time she talks to someone, she wants the conversation to be over. Reading dialogue without a constant barrage of internal complaints is a nice change. Like I said, Bella is actually a pretty good female character in Midnight Sun! When you're not hearing her absolutely insane and selfish inner monologue and learning how much of her behavior is manipulation of other people, she comes off as the clumsy cute girl who selflessly helps everyone all the time that Meyer was telling us she was. It's amazing how much every character becomes so much easier to hate when they're the viewpoint character. Meyer seems incapable of writing any of her drama-filled teen protagonists as anything but insane and violent when inside their head trying to come up with their motivations for letting drama exist.
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Sep 10, 2020 21:03
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Spoilers without context from kellythepitiablefangirl.tumblr.com 
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Sep 10, 2020 21:38
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chitoryu12 posted:Rosalie should have been the protagonist instead. Yes, that's– chitoryu12 posted:It's amazing how much every character becomes so much easier to hate when they're the viewpoint character. Meyer seems incapable of writing any of her drama-filled teen protagonists as anything but insane and violent when inside their head trying to come up with their motivations for letting drama exist. Uh, let's not make us all hate Rosalie as well.
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Sep 11, 2020 13:02
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Chapter 6: Blood Typequote:I followed her all day through other people's eyes, barely aware of my own surroundings. "We've spoken 5 times in the past 6 weeks and I know almost nothing about her, but I am definitely in love with her." quote:Not Mike Newton’s eyes, because I couldn’t stand any more of his offensive fantasies, and not Jessica Stanley’s, because her resentment toward Bella was irritating. Angela Weber was a good choice when her eyes were available. She was kind—her head was an easy place to be. And then sometimes it was the teachers who provided the best view. What....how is that odd? quote:I didn’t know why this was so funny to me, but I laughed out loud as I walked from American History to English and several people shot me wary glances, then looked away quickly from my exposed teeth. How had I never noticed this before? Perhaps because there was something very graceful about her in stillness, the way she held her head, the arch of her neck… Bella must be so used to her clumsiness that she doesn't even notice it, because in Twilight Bella just describes hurrying to her seat without tripping! quote:The time moved with incredible sluggishness while I waited for my chance to see her with my own eyes. Finally, the bell rang. I strode quickly to the cafeteria to secure my spot. I was one of the first in the room. I chose a table that was usually empty, and was sure to remain that way with me seated here. Queen. quote:Rosalie and I had never had an easy relationship—I’d offended her the very first time she’d heard me speak, and it was downhill from that point on—but it seemed as though she was even more ill-tempered than usual the last few days. I sighed. Rosalie made everything about herself. "Stupid woman, trying to have opinions of her own! Doesn't she know she needs to go with what everyone else says is right?" quote:Jasper gave me half a smile as he walked by. "You have no control! Only my will!" quote:Don’t forget about today’s Biology lab, she reminded me. "How dare girls be talkative and interested in their own things!" quote:The moment Bella walked through the door, her eyes flashed to the table where my siblings sat. She stared for a moment, and then her forehead crumpled and her eyes dropped to the floor. She hadn’t noticed me here. What would you even do to comfort her? Neg her again? Tell her to stay away from you but also don't? Laugh when she looks upset? quote:But if that were true… I wished I could offer her that option. Impossible. The physical proximity required by a dance would be too dangerous. Two medical degrees quote:Humans were quite exasperatingly fragile! There were a million different things to worry about. You would know. You've killed enough of them. quote:“Edward Cullen is staring at you again,” I heard Jessica say. “I wonder why he’s sitting alone today.” Nope, still dumb from his perspective. quote:“Does he mean you?” Jessica asked rudely. Would you say that her mouth is saying no, but her eyes are saying yes? quote:She stumbled twice on her way to my table, though there was nothing in her way but perfectly even linoleum. Seriously, how had I missed this? I’d been paying more attention to her silent thoughts, I supposed. What else had I not seen? Any of her likes and dislikes? Any shared experiences or pleasures you have? Anything at all except her being a cute clumsy girl who helps people with their homework? quote:She was almost to my new table. I tried to prepare myself. Keep it honest, keep it light, I chanted silently. Dear God. quote:“Won’t you sit with me today?” I asked her. Actually no, you didn't. In the original text it was "Why don't you sit with me today?" The original draft had the correct dialogue. I don't know why Meyer suddenly changed it. quote:She pulled the chair out and sat, staring at me the whole while. She seemed nervous. I waited for her to speak. I remember being flabbergasted at how bad he was at flirting, and now it's good to know that he really was just being a dumbass blurting out poo poo. quote:She didn’t get up. She stared at me, waiting, as if I’d left my sentence unfinished. Imagine if a guy tried flirting with you at the bar like this. No amount of vampire-granted beauty would keep you from walking off. quote:It was hard to ignore the thoughts screaming at me from behind her back—and I wanted to change the subject anyway. Confirmation that Edward really is just this much of an idiot at talking to people. quote:I laughed at her expression. “You look worried.” It really shouldn’t be funny. She should worry. This is why the book is so long. quote:“No.” I knew this must be a lie; her voice broke, betraying her fraud. “Surprised, actually.… What brought all this on?” Really great for your "true, pure love" story to have the protagonist openly talking about how lovely he is as a lover. quote:“You lost me again.” What are you going to do, start making out with the girl you don't even know right in the cafeteria? This is less "17" than "7." quote:“Or not,” she mumbled, looking embarrassed. Well, I don't know. You only change the meaning of this conversation every loving sentence. quote:I smiled. “Well, we can try, I suppose. But I’m warning you now that I’m not a good friend for you.”  quote:Her heart beat faster. “You say that a lot.” I don't think any book has had a stupider POV character than Midnight Sun. quote:“So,” she said slowly. “As long as I’m being… not smart, we’ll try to be friends?” Now you can go back to Twilight and realize that Edward has spent all of the time he seemed being cool and collected actually having a massive internal panic attack the whole book! quote:“Are you having any luck with that?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could manage. Unless she just immediately goes "Vampire." quote:Her cheeks turned brighter red, and she said nothing. I could feel the warmth of her blush. Clearly because those conversations only last a few seconds. quote:I smiled encouragingly. “Won’t you tell me?” Oh gently caress off. quote:“I don’t like double standards.” Mike is using all the words Mormons aren't allowed! quote:“What?” she demanded. It sounds a lot like she's disowning you. quote:“I’m not. I told you, most people are easy to read.” The truth that means you have no choice but to walk away? Right. quote:“That depends on what you want.” "Because I'm a sociopath." quote:“That sounds fair,” I agreed. "You've also been just...the biggest rear end in a top hat." quote:“Just one theory—I won’t laugh.” Objectively, yes. quote:I tried again. “Please tell me just one little theory,” I pleaded in my soft, non-scary voice, holding her gaze in mine. "Silly girl, don't you know superpowers are fictional? Unlike vampires and werewolves and Native American shapeshifter guardians and..." quote:“That’s not very creative,” I chided her, trying to hide my fresh relief. If she mentioned bites he would probably bare his teeth, hiss, and declare "YOU SHOULD NEVER SEE ME AGAIN" and fly out the window before leaving a note on her truck windshield begging her to come visit him. quote:“You’re not supposed to laugh, remember?” Did Meyer mean for this to sound like she's turned on? quote:I couldn’t answer her. Was this my last moment with her? Would she run now? Could I be allowed to tell her that I loved her before she left? Or would that frighten her more? You don't say? quote:I stretched my hand across the table, reaching for the lid to her lemonade bottle as an excuse. She did not flinch away from my suddenly closer hand. She really was not afraid of me. Not yet. You've done it how many times so far? quote:She jumped to her feet. Just as I started to worry that she’d somehow heard my silent warning, she said, “We’re going to be late.”  quote:To be precise, it was healthier for the humans if the vampires ditched on days when human blood would be spilled. Mr. Banner was blood typing today. Alice had already ditched her morning class. I like how Edward talks about their inability to resist any of the drops of blood and not what would happen if Mr. Banner tried taking a blood sample from a vampire. quote:“Well, I’m going,” she said. This didn’t surprise me. She was responsible—she always did the right thing. Also, Edward was carrying the lemonade cap for the entire book. Good thing to know, I guess. quote:I put on my favorite calming CD—the same one I’d listened to that first day—but I wasn’t hearing Debussy’s notes for long. Other notes were running through my head, a fragment of a tune that pleased and intrigued me. I turned down the stereo and listened to the music in my head, playing with the fragment until it evolved into a fuller harmony. Automatically, my fingers moved in the air over imaginary piano keys. Imagine if he did, though. quote:“Bella?” I shouted. Everyone keeps calling Bella a "danger magnet", but it seems like Mike is the one who's in the most danger being in Forks! quote:“What’s wrong—is she hurt?” I demanded, trying to focus his thoughts. It was maddening to have to walk at a human pace. I should not have called attention to my approach. I hate to say it Edward, but you and Mike are officially a couple now. quote:I knelt beside her while Mike hovered next to me, furious at my intervention. He's trying to be helpful, rear end in a top hat! quote:Thrilled and terrified, half-grateful to and half-aggrieved by the predicament that made touching her a necessity, I gently lifted Bella from the sidewalk and held her in my arms, touching only her rain jacket and jeans, keeping as much distance between our bodies as possible. I was striding forward in the same movement, in a hurry to have her safe—farther away from me, in other words. Doesn't like to show weakness except all the times she dramatically flops down in tears. quote:I ignored Mike’s shouted protest behind us. Shattering it to pieces. quote:Ms. Cope jumped, startled. “Oh my,” she gasped as she examined the ashen girl in my arms. Only in this book, though! It just gets handwaved away later! quote:“Just lie down for a minute, honey,” Mrs. Hammond said. “It’ll pass.” I know it's supposed to be written that all these humans are so weak-minded and easily manipulated, but it now just comes off as Bella being the only one without enough sense to realize how hosed up this guy is. quote:“I’ll go get you some ice for your forehead, dear,” the nurse said, slightly uncomfortable from looking into my eyes—the way a human should be—and left the room. You do not know this girl quote:“You scared me for a minute there,” I said, trying to restart the conversation. The quiet was painful in an odd way, leaving me alone without her voice. “I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods.” Yes, Mike is the one who would just kill Bella and drag her body into the woods between classes! quote:“Poor Mike,” she sighed. “I’ll bet he’s mad.” Chill. quote:“He absolutely loathes me,” I told her, cheered by that idea. "I thought you would just go cry in the woods forever." quote:She opened her eyes again when Mrs. Hammond returned with an ice pack. Mike Newton: Hero of Biology quote:Bella quickly jumped down from the cot, eager to be out of the spotlight. What the hell did Mr. Banner do, use a scalpel? quote:“Oh no.” This was my cue to leave—and Bella’s, too, it seemed. “Go out to the office, Bella.”
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Sep 11, 2020 21:55
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Bella Swan avoiding vans in the Twilight universe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjbUnn32_zU
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Sep 12, 2020 05:01
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quote:She turned to look at me, still unsure. Imagine if this was the first book to come out in the series and you were wondering if they just foreshadowed Bella not being human. How mad would you be to find out she really was just a clumsy nerd who hates blood? quote:“What?” she demanded. Meyer is trying very hard to make Mike seem like a hate sink for the reader, and you can't do that if you make the protagonist worse every time. quote:“Just keep your hand in your pocket,” she said. For one wild second, I thought she was talking to me. Cry me a loving river, dork. quote:“Yeah, I guess…,” Mike mumbled. “So are you going this weekend? To the beach?” We need more of the Cullens bullying Edward immediately. quote:“Sure, I said I was in,” she promised him. I see the Cullens have done a great job of blending in as normal humans! quote:“Gym,” Bella repeated quietly. A groan. Yes, why would the girl who can't walk across a room without breaking three bones be upset about going to Gym? quote:I went to her side and bent close to her face, feeling the warmth of her skin radiating out to my lips. I didn’t dare breathe. Ms. Cope, this is a 17-year-old boy. quote:That was interesting. When Shelly Cope’s pulse quickened, it was because she found me physically attractive, not because she was frightened. I was used to that around human females, those who’d grown somewhat acclimatized to my kind through continued exposure… yet I hadn’t considered that explanation for Bella’s racing heart. Two medical degrees. quote:I liked that thought, perhaps too much. I smiled my careful, human-soothing smile, and Ms. Cope’s breathing got louder. Okay now it's getting too creepy. Does Stephenie Meyer think it's just normal for teachers to all have crushes on their underage student body? She isn't treating it like it's unusual. quote:“Bella has Gym next hour, and I don’t think she feels well enough. Actually, I was thinking I should take her home now. Do you think you could excuse her from class?” I stared into her depthless eyes, enjoying the havoc that this wreaked on her thought processes. Was it possible that Bella…? "Well everything she does is the opposite of all the people I purposefully don't pay attention to and treat as below me, so she must actually think I'm ugly!" quote:“Okay, it’s all taken care of. You feel better, Bella.” I just.....she wrote this and actually thought it was a good idea. quote:“Thanks,” she said, smiling at me now. “It’s almost worth getting sick to miss Gym.” There was a mental "drat" in the original draft that got taken out here. I guess Meyer decided in the intervening decade that Edward can't even curse in his own head. quote:I managed my disappointment, then glanced down at her, smiling wryly. “I really don’t think I was invited.” Oh stop it. quote:“Mike-schmike,” she said, dismissive again. I smiled. And here we go! quote:“I’m going home,” she said, clearly baffled as to why this should upset me. Yes, the implication of weakness is the problem here. Not you manhandling her. quote:“What condition?” she demanded. “And what about my truck?” I hope none of you were expecting Edward to look more sympathetic here. quote:“Let go!” she said, twisting sideways and nearly tripping. I held one hand out to catch her, but she righted herself before it was necessary. I shouldn’t be looking for excuses to touch her. That started me thinking again about Ms. Cope’s reaction to me, but I filed it away for later. There was much to be considered on that front. This isn't balance, dumbass. quote:“You are so pushy!” She should! quote:“It’s open.” Yes, it manages to get creepier! quote:She shivered. I need to intervene here to point out that this used to be far worse: quote:"I'll just drag you back," I promised, enjoying the chagrin on her face when she realized I meant it. The original draft also had none of the pauses Edward had or the justifications he was making for himself. It was 100% pure sociopathy. As terrible as this scenario is right now, Meyer had originally written Edward as little more than an unrepentant abuser who enjoyed dragging Bella around and reveling in the power he had over her. Reading the original draft should put in perspective how Edward was always meant to be at the beginning. While in the intervening decade Meyer seems to have caught on to how wrong she was originally (or at least figured she'd need to cover it up), this right above is how Edward was written in Twilight. Much like the werewolves, the Volturi, and the nature of vampiric powers and Bella's shield, none of the internal conflict Edward is having in this scene existed when she wrote the first book or even the first draft of Midnight Sun! Even when she took the opportunity to try and write explanations for Edward's abusive behavior, she just...didn't. There was no explanation. He simply felt entitled to more of her time and had fun yanking her around to get it. Reading the original draft of Midnight Sun really gets you thinking about how warped Meyer's ideas about relationships and romance were 15 years ago. Edward was meant to be the perfect man who could sweep even her married Mormon rear end off her feet, and she's said as much in interviews that she really does think that Edward is amazing and ideal for Bella or any other girl who sees herself in her. The implications about her life are not great. quote:Her chin held stiffly in the air, she opened her door and climbed in. Her hair dripped on the leather, and her boots squeaked against each other. Not only did those little pauses not exist in the original draft, neither did this. We're about to have pages of new text, baby! quote:I didn’t know how to do this. How to court her as a normal, human, modern man in the year two thousand and five. As a human, I’d only learned the customs of my time. Thanks to my strange gift, I knew quite well how people thought now, what they did, how they acted, but when I tried to act casual and modern it seemed all wrong. Probably because I wasn’t normal or modern or human. And it wasn’t as if I’d learned anything usable from my family. None of them had had anything near a normal courtship, even excepting the two other qualifications. I don't think these are the customs of 1917 either. quote:Rosalie and Emmett had been the cliché, the classic love-at-first-sight story. There had never been a moment when either one had questioned what they were to each other. In the first second Rosalie saw Emmett, she’d been drawn to the innocence and honesty that had evaded her in life, and she wanted him. In the first second that Emmett saw Rosalie, he saw a goddess whom he had worshiped without cease ever since. There had never been an awkward first conversation full of doubt, never a fingernail-biting moment of waiting for a yes or no. Honestly if a hot blonde showed up and engaged a bear in a fistfight to save me, I'd worship her as a goddess too. quote:Alice and Jasper’s union had been even less normal. For all the twenty-eight years up to their first meeting, Alice had known she would love Jasper. She’d seen years, decades, centuries, of their future lives together. And Jasper, feeling all her emotions in that long-awaited moment, the purity and certainty and depth of her love, couldn’t help but be overwhelmed. It must have felt like a tsunami to him. Alice has seen centuries of a potential future timeline....and just hasn't said anything about it. quote:Carlisle and Esme had been slightly more typical than the others, I supposed. Esme had already been in love with Carlisle—much to his shock—but not through any mystical, magical means. She’d met Carlisle as a girl and, drawn to his gentleness, wit, and otherworldly beauty, formed an attachment that had haunted her for the rest of her human years. Life had not been kind to Esme, and so it was not surprising that this golden memory of a good man had never been supplanted in her heart. After the burning torment of transformation, when she’d awakened to the face of her long-cherished dream, her affections were entirely his. I desperately want to like this addition of an actual relationship between Edward and Carlisle that isn't just Edward being an emo jerk and Carlisle constantly patting him on the shoulder like a dad, but what the hell kind of knowledge is Edward going to give him about experiencing love? quote:More than that, it was a very powerful thing, choosing to save someone. It was not a decision any sane individual made lightly. When Carlisle chose me, he’d already felt a dozen binding emotions toward me before I’d even awakened to what was happening. Responsibility, anxiety, tenderness, pity, hope, compassion… there was a natural ownership to the act that I’d never experienced, only heard about through his thoughts and Rosalie’s. He already felt like my father before I knew his name. For me, it was effortless and instinctive to fall into my role as son. Love came easily—though I’d always attributed that more to who he was as a person than to his initiating my conversion. Very easily fell into the roll of the son of a guy who's 6 years older than you biologically? quote:So whether for these reasons, or whether it was because Carlisle and Esme were simply meant to be… even with my gift to hear it all as it happened, I would never know. She loved him, and he quickly found he could return that love. It was a very short period of time before his surprise changed to wonder, to discovery, and to romance. So much happiness. Everything you just read up until the heater getting turned up was completely new text for the book. quote:Suddenly she looked at the stereo with interest, her sulky expression disappearing. “Clair de Lune?” she asked. And actually, you kinda are. Other than a mutual unhealthy obsession with one another and a few shared interests in music and books, what do Bella and Edward have in common? What are they even shown doing most of the time other than sitting together cuddling and staring into each other's eyes? Could they do anything else, in fact? Except for Edward's composing, neither of them actually have hobbies or go out and do things for fun. Going out with friends is treated by Bella almost like a chore and she's content to just read the same books until they fall apart. Edward spends most of his time cooped up in his house. It's impossible to envision them going to the fair, having a family game night, taking a road trip, going skiing or hiking, etc. whether before or after Bella's transformation. I think that's why the honeymoon in the film adaptation of Breaking Dawn ends up one of the best scenes of their relationship: they actually let Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (a real life couple at the time) be shown having a fun vacation with legitimate chemistry. Edward gets to laugh and be silly, Bella gets to go swimming and play chess. It makes them seem human. quote:She seemed more relaxed now, staring at the rain like me, with unseeing eyes. I used her momentary distraction to experiment with breathing. Sounds like a personal problem, my dude. quote:I tried to swallow against the burn in my throat. It didn’t help. This made me angry. I had so little time with the girl. Look at the lengths I’d already had to go to in order to secure an extra fifteen minutes. I took another breath and fought with my reaction. I had to be stronger than this. This seriously reads like a sociopath trying to figure out the right social cues in a conversation. quote:“What is your mother like?” I asked. Yes, Bella is so brave. quote:“She’s irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she’s a very unpredictable cook. She’s my best friend.” Her voice had turned melancholy. Her forehead creased. Yes it is! Just because you have less than 10,000 people in town doesn't mean you know every public figure's home address! quote:“How old are you, Bella?” She must be older than her peers. Perhaps she’d been late to start school, or been held back. That didn’t seem likely, though, bright as she was. It's a lot easier to believe Bella is unusually mature when you can't see all her whining. quote:“You don’t seem much like a junior in high school yourself,” she said, pulling me from my reverie. Not in the continuity where she was bitching about her dad getting her a truck that wasn't brand new, though! quote:“That’s very generous.… I wonder.” I promise, Renee is stupid enough to not notice anything amiss. quote:“I—I think so,” she stuttered, reacting in some way to my gaze. Was it fear? I thought of Ms. Cope again. What were the other tells? Wide eyes could designate both emotions. The fluttering lashes, though, seemed to point away from fright. Bella’s lips were parted.… This is actually new text, and it just makes Edward seem more sociopathic. quote:She recovered. “But she’s the parent, after all. It’s a little bit different.” Hell yeah! Support body mods! quote:“What’s your definition?” Or without trying! quote:I was serious, too. “Are you frightened of me now?” I'm cringing externally at all of your dialogue. quote:“So, now are you going to tell me about your family? It’s got to be a much more interesting story than mine.” DID YOU KNOW THAT I AM SCARY DID YOU quote:“What do you want to know?” I asked cautiously. I thought she was supposed to be totally selfless? quote:“I don’t really remember them that clearly,” I assured her. “Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now.” "Rosalie specifically will probably try to murder me when I get back." quote:“Oh, sorry, I guess you have to go.” Other than all the ones only Edward knows about! quote:I laughed at her words. No secrets, indeed. “Have fun at the beach.” I glanced at the pouring rain, knowing it would not last, and wishing more strongly than usual that it could. “Good weather for sunbathing.” Well, it would be by Saturday. She would enjoy that. And her happiness had become the most important thing. More important than my own. Another addition: Edward being confused and worried by his impulsive stalking. Doesn't help that he keeps doing it, but in the original he was pretty much okay with everything he did. quote:“What are you going to do?” she asked, sounding not at all happy with my revelation. No, we already did William Control! quote:“We’re going to be hiking in the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier.” Emmett was eager for bear season. BEAR SEASON quote:“Oh, well, have fun,” she said halfheartedly. Her lack of enthusiasm pleased me again. That wasn't light. quote:I smiled ruefully at her, hoping she couldn’t see the real sorrow in my eyes. How much I wished that she wasn’t so much better off away from me, no matter what might happen to her there. There used to be an extremely offensive line here where Edward called her "a little kitten that believes it's a tiger." One of the reasons I originally didn't want to do the draft is because Edward was such a smug, punchable rear end in a top hat. He's still a punchable rear end in a top hat in the new version, but it's more because he's a giant baby. Well, can't get any worse from here, right? quote:I curled my hand around the key I’d just picked from her jacket pocket and inhaled her scent deeply as I drove away. Ah.
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Sep 15, 2020 15:17
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I had a feeling the original draft treated him like an edgy predator, and I'm kind of sad I'm right. Honestly, I feel like the change from smoldering bad boy to awkward stunted teenager is less about making him more relatable and more that it's the only type of character Meyer knows how to write. Don't get me wrong, it's far more interesting this way, but I'm not sure she really understands how creepy the old characterization was. I'm one of those people who likes gawking at literary trainwrecks, so I actually read that 50 Shades book from the dude's perspective. Aside from being an incredibly dull retelling, James keeps beating the same "she could say no at any time! I'm not coercing her into ordering this entree/being in this relationship/having sex!" horse. If you need an entire book to explain why your male lead isn't a creepy douche, that's probably a sign that he is.
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Sep 15, 2020 17:06
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Sep 15, 2020 17:18
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At this point I'm genuinely concerned that Myer was never allowed to have fun or find her own hobbies and interests as a child, and has at best a distant intellectual understanding that other people did.
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Sep 15, 2020 18:44
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hyperhazard posted:I had a feeling the original draft treated him like an edgy predator, and I'm kind of sad I'm right. Honestly, I feel like the change from smoldering bad boy to awkward stunted teenager is less about making him more relatable and more that it's the only type of character Meyer knows how to write. Don't get me wrong, it's far more interesting this way, but I'm not sure she really understands how creepy the old characterization was. The writing of the original draft was about as bad as Breaking Dawn in most places. A lot of it (whole pages worth) is still intact exactly as it was in 2008 here, and the only real difference in character voice from Bella and Jacob is that Edward is extremely long-winded, pretentious, and melodramatic. He doesn't speak in an "old fashioned" way, and none of the other vampires do no matter how many millennia old they are. He just uses way too many words and can barely get through a sentence without internal dramatics. But in the original draft, Edward simply had no justification for his worst behavior and it looks like it was because he didn't think he had anything to justify. He never described all the laws the Cullens are used to breaking to explain why his sense of ethics has been warped over nearly a century undead, or that he was emotionally stunted and had no idea how to communicate with people when he couldn't rely on his telepathy to know exactly what to say and do. He was a smirking sociopath who would fantasize about tearing children in half if they dare to hurt Bella while also laughing at how mad she gets when he manhandles her and controls her behavior. The new text seems to realize that and try to fix it, but Meyer is inevitably trapped by Edward's actions. You can change his threat from a legitimate one to an awkward joke that fell flat, but that doesn't mean he didn't drag Bella into the car out of pure impulsive selfishness.
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Sep 15, 2020 20:14
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All the internal monologue and thoughts of others read like what an uncool kid thinks the cool kids think and act like in high school.
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Sep 15, 2020 20:29
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Cythereal posted:At this point I'm genuinely concerned that Myer was never allowed to have fun or find her own hobbies and interests as a child, and has at best a distant intellectual understanding that other people did. So I was intrigued and decided to see if there was any public info on her hobbies. Zip. Zilch. Nada. A few minutes of searching online can't pull up any interviews where she talks about what she likes to do other than reading or writing. A site of questionable provenance includes gardening and traveling, and another site tries to list "being a film producer" as a hobby, but that's it. She's spoken at length about raising her kids and how stressful it is, going on for paragraphs about cooking and going to Little League games, but never anything about what she does to unwind other than read and write. Bella having zero hobbies other than reading and Edward not really doing anything for fun except composing makes a lot more sense if the author likewise doesn't really have anything else she can name as a pastime. And she doesn't even seem to write very much for a professional writer!
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Sep 15, 2020 20:48
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Hey, I havent had much opportunity to join in the conversation but ive been reading along. Thanks so much for doing this one! Ive been enjoying your commentary, as always, and the look at how things changed between bella and edward, and the different drafts, is extremely entertaining. I just couldnt help thinking back to some things I'd said before... chitoryu12 posted:
chitoryu12 posted:
Edward can't be any other way, because if he wasnt controlling and abusive, he wouldnt register to Meyer as "in love." Thats the end result of normalizing red flag behavior into romantic gestures-- someone who doesnt perceive love as real unless it's accompanied by abuse. Both Edward and Christian Grey follow this pattern, and imo it says something about our cultural idea of love as a whole (as well as masculinity and various other things) that these two characters were major attractions in major pop culture phenomenona. Something about the idea of an abusive lover's abuse being presented as proof of true love resonates with a lot of women-- personally, i havent yet been able to sort out what that means beyond "the culture surrounding love is really hosed up." chitoryu12 posted:
chitoryu12 posted:
Love is a predatory act in Meyer's books. Power differences are a built-in part of that predatory act. Maybe she's seeing a situation with a power difference and interpreting it as romantic because of the power difference. That would explain why you see comparatively little of the same sort of thought from students on equal footing, despite that realistically, that high school would be dripping with student hormones directed at each other, and edward would hear all that. chitoryu12 posted:
Shades of imprinting here! Im not going to look for the quote, but isnt it like, "oh, well, any girl who was loved that much and that devotedly would have no choice but to love the werewolf back!" I guess at least this flips the script she usually has in that Alice is the one with the agency in creating that relationship.... if you can call it that when Alice literally just follows the future that she sees laid out of her. Uh... So no one has agency there, i guess, because meyer said just no! Seriously, Smeyer, awkwaaaaarrrrrrrrrd... I guess Rosalie and Esme also had some agency? Except Esme was turned without being asked... so not really, i guess, she just kinda fell in love with the guy who exercised power over her death. Rosalie had some agency though! Hey chitoryu, we've found the one (1) relationship where the woman wasn't coerced into it by the guy or by circumstance!  Back in the early chapters i saw some interesting things about the portrayal of vampires and how they're supposed to seem inhuman or Edward has trouble thinking of humans as sapient beings, but i guess ill save my thoughts on that for if it comes up again since i didnt have time to comment when it came up the first time around.
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Sep 16, 2020 00:02
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Lysistrata posted:Shades of imprinting here! Im not going to look for the quote, but isnt it like, "oh, well, any girl who was loved that much and that devotedly would have no choice but to love the werewolf back!" I guess at least this flips the script she usually has in that Alice is the one with the agency in creating that relationship.... if you can call it that when Alice literally just follows the future that she sees laid out of her. Uh... Funny thing is that's not the only Alice future vision fuckery in this book! The new text explains fully how all of the members of the Cullen family came to end up in Carlisle's house. I guess it's sort of justifiable since Alice is seeing a solid potential future that presumably wouldn't need any forcing from her, but we've seen that Edward is fully capable of changing to different possibilities and muddying the waters by actively fighting destiny, rather than being compelled to follow it no matter what. Presumably if he wasn't an obsessive creep being dragged into romance by the Mormon sealing practice, he would have been able to resist Bella enough to leave and end the possibility of their marriage. Alice is basically relying on being so appealing to Jasper that she can walk up to him out of the blue, tell him they're destined to be together forever, and him not running screaming.
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Sep 16, 2020 01:00
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Lysistrata posted:Love is a predatory act in Meyer's books. Power differences are a built-in part of that predatory act. Now in real life we don't have vampires and stuff but we do have powerful people who are obsessed with less powerful people and the result is less sexy flirting and more sexual harassment. That's one of the reasons these types of books read like nightmares to some people. I hate the Bored Housewife trope, but romances where powerful people stalk less powerful people generally appeal to people who haven't had those types of traumatizing experiences, or feel like having a partner obsessed with them would be flattering.
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Sep 16, 2020 04:38
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Yeah, thats definitely a component of Edward's appeal-- the idea that this powerful, immortal being is completely stricken with love for the audience-insert character. That supposedly makes the power dynamic more equal, because the powerful immortal is "helpless" before the Plain Jane's hidden charms. The problem with this is that judging by his actions, Edward is clearly not helpless, and in fact impresses his will on everything the audience-insert does from almost the moment they meet. Every bit of his controlling behavior is justified in-text as evidence of his love, and his supposed "helplessness" is really just selfishness that he doesnt even really want to resist. It's really strange how so very many people, including Meyer herself, couldn't see that the attempt at equalization of the power dynamic was completely meaningless; Edward's actions are hardly impacted by it. The most we get are guilty thoughts that never stop him from whatever controlling thing he does next.
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Sep 16, 2020 08:48
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