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Midjack posted:Well this definitely won't get weird or gross. No no, perfectly normal american couple returning from abroad here. What do you mean the thermal cameras indicate that one of them is a corpse and the other has a bomb in their abdomen?
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May 4, 2020 17:54
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Grammarchist posted:I don't think I registered how fast the werewolves pop into existence fully formed. I wasn't picturing American Werewolf in London or anything, but for some reason "poof, giant dog" was not my mental image. If you’re going to disregard thermodynamics you might as well do it quickly.
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May 11, 2020 19:30
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Maybe this is supposed to be about male gaze and how it reinforces the patriarchy. IDK, taking it at face value as it is feels gross so my brain is really trying to come up with some sort of authorial intent to deconstruct the larger ideas of selling/valuing women for their child bearing potential and all the side arguments by men about abortion while the women are strangely silenced and just do their thing as best they can. It's bella's body/life and she's made a very clear choice which everyone acknowledges, yet only esme/rosalie/emmett are on board with that? Meanwhile here is bella's husband colluding with her ex to distract her long enough to forcibly abort the baby he regrets conceiving. Even carlisle is presented as being neutral. Just filing the supernatural bits off, this is powerful stuff, but instead of focusing on any of that from the bella or rosalie or esme pov, we have this jacob lens to see it all through. Presumably Alice also saw all of this and -tacitly approved- by staying silent. Since you know, "WHO COULD HAVE KNOWN?" by our idiot flopster Edward just really drives it home. So that makes a full sweep of the women in the group being silent and taking action to keep the baby. It sure would be nice to have one of their viewpoints here to contrast with.
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May 13, 2020 15:12
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Grammarchist posted:I kinda like the idea of the Alpha writing a letter of condolence to the loved ones of a KIA werewolf, narrated in the style of Ken Burns' Civil War. Of course that would mean there's the possibility of a toddler getting a letter stating that her fiance fell in battle against a demon fetus, which would probably be weird as hell to find in a scrapbook while packing for college. Kindest thoughts young Claire, I hope this letter finds you in good temper and clean diapers. I write with grave news, quill has fallen, and he will not return. He has ventured to the rainbow bridge, to await your coming. I can only pray you live a long life, well. He died young, for our kind, but his love of watching you on the beach was already nearly creepy enough for a restraining order. In mournful sympathy and utter relief, Sam
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May 18, 2020 19:04
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Just imagine if Leah had shifted first and was the Alpha.
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May 21, 2020 14:13
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Just enjoy imagining how amazing a self aware author’s take on MS would be. So much room for hilarious off screen Alice and co hijinx
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May 22, 2020 20:18
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Where is the bendy straw?
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May 23, 2020 20:46
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Clearly Bella has injured herself off-screen 19 times in the period of time since she got home and Carlisle and Jasper are at this point so immune to her falling down the stairs spurting blood that they just assumes she's -always- shy of blood, and that's why she's on fluids and they've laid in the supply of O+. They just hadn't thought to give it to her to drink with a bendy straw. That part needed jacob's childlike wisdom to highlight that bendy straws make everything better.
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May 24, 2020 04:53
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hyperhazard posted:Alien: chestburster scene It’s such a waste too, because well... Bella’s choice to keep the kid is fine, if self harming, but everyone else around it is just flatly absurdist. There is such a rich tension here being entirely ignored in favor of flopping on couches and calling Bella dumb. Yeah, having a monstrous home birth that might produce an actual monster out of a darker bit of folklore should absolutely have mom and dad and doctor having discussions about risk, it should have family figuring out how they are going to prevent unfortunate outcomes. Even more frustrating, it is clear the cullens have had some of that talk, but none of those gripping discussions happen in sight of the reader. Instead here we are watching Sam v Jacob or Edward flop, or Rosalie turn into a chain chomp and trying to decide who wins the readers choice award for most insane reaction. Just imagine if Sam could pick up a phone. Then as alpha of the local pack he could pretty realistically demand to speak to Carlisle as head of the local Vampire family and then have a quick talk about how Carlisle plans to both keep Bella alive (Per the treaty) and also protect the people of la push (Per the treaty) from whatever supernatural half-vampire Bella is having. That seems a lot more reasonable than any of this. But no, people are so freaked out by whatever superpowers this half vamp fetus has inherited from its terminally clumsy mother (hint, it’s clumsy too) that they can’t even step back long enough to really think about it.
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May 26, 2020 20:54
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Cythereal posted:Bella is a sociopath. Edward got with Bella and Bella got Renes she was sharing bella's outlook on the topic of some fleas Baby was a monster kid and Jacob was a rapist They were all in love with dying They were doing it in stages Leah had to suffer because meyer is a hack she bounced off one bad lover and got stuck with jacob's pack They were all in love with dying they were drinking from a fountain that was pouring like an avalanche coming down a mountain...
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Jun 5, 2020 02:08
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Twilight as an idea is really interesting with all sorts of potentially nice things to explore. The execution....well. Remember way back in book one when Rene and Charlie totally believe Bella fell down the stairs? After all this would you believe SMeyer's other books have equally interesting premises and terrible to horrifying execution? That's kinda how R and C feel about B. "Sure sounds plausible. You say she managed to knock over the building? Oh bells..." (They do, or at least "The Host" does, I haven't checked her bibliography recently)
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Jun 6, 2020 01:22
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chitoryu12 posted:Okay I read the first few chapters of The Host and flipped to a few other random pages and it's no better. She improved nothing about her writing style or worldbuilding at all. I don't think I would even have the energy to do a thread on it. I’ll do a post hitting the highlights. Obv spoilers The Host Here we go: The premise is great. Earth has been invaded by bodysnatching symbiotes. Humans lost. Humans are now hosts. Our protagonist is “the wanderer” and she’s nothing special. She’s on a routine post invasion mission and going to find some rebel humans. She’s given a host named Melanie. Normally the hosts are convinced to go dormant, but Melanie has memories wanderer needs, so the usual methods won’t work. Eventually wanderer decides to betray her species. Presumably for Melanie and her memories. This could be such a good story but Meyer is writing so no. When she does this, she has to travel through Mordor (the desert) to deliver the ring (melanies body) to the mountain (the hideout in a cave)...You’ve probably seen this heroes journey so good news it is described In the same way Bella talks about her revelations and then cut very short when wanderer drinks all her water and passes out. She is luckily found by uncle jeb, who is the leader of this cell and also some kinda Moses figure. He takes her to the cave. Melanies boyfriend backhands her as soon as she regains consciousness and they throw her in the oubliette which Meyer has never heard of so describes in detail because of course she does. Meyer has also never been in a cave in her life. Thus begins the exciting no agency protagonist period where she is held by crazy militia people, leads on the boy that is only sort of complicit in the other boy beating her, and is generally confused. Eventually she decides to help the humans get medical treatment, and earns her place in the tribe by being able to go to the invading civ walmart’s and buy nanomeds. Finally, confronted by her boss (The Seeker) and overcome with guilt she helps the humans surgically remove The Seeker and then blast The Seeker into space. Don’t get your hopes up, she helped the humans hijack a cryogenic rocket pod the size of a dorm fridge. (Meyers understanding of actual physics/space flight/etc is bad folks). Yes it makes no sense when you read it too. Eventually, after helping several other humans so the local doc can learn how to do this, and suffering acceptable losses of symbiotes and humans that would make me get loving squirm, she decides to “give” Melanie her body back. The plan is for Wanderer to return to space. The humans, not satisfied with her choice, implant her into a different body. She wakes up, and in this new body realizes she really does love the slightly less a abusive boy. She goes on another supply run for her humans, and maybe also makes friends with Melanie. On the supply run they meet another alien that is helping their own band of humans. Cue sequel? If you want to read a book that fails to explore all sorts of things it hints at, enjoy?!
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Jun 6, 2020 05:45
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Imagine if smeyer knew that many brunettes are born blonde.
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Jun 9, 2020 04:28
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Look. This story gave us non-POV cullens to write fanfic about, and the author took care of writing the boring ones so we don't have to even think about them. What a service. It's like if Harry Potter had been about Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris.
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Jun 10, 2020 21:32
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chitoryu12 posted:If Alice could still see Bella's future when Renesmee was out of her, was she able to predict that Bella would need to go hunting and thus put her in a skintight cocktail dress and stiletto heels on purpose? Yes, with weakened seams.
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Jun 15, 2020 19:26
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Grammarchist posted:Leah is going to be gazing into the mouth of madness the next time she links with Jacob telepathically. By these guys, I am loathed Yet realize that I still know That her face, arouses Jake Our pack is his disgrace Newborn babe, creepy wretch, 'Neath the black her dad looks dead Think my name through your dream And you'll hear me scream again Black wolf's son Why'd you come Now I wash my brain again Black wolf's son Why'd you come Why'd you come (please don't come) ...
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Jun 15, 2020 21:44
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This isn’t the last book. Meyer is still writing, and we will be getting more of this world of vampires presently. She even retold twilight with the genders reversed. I do wonder why she doesn’t just write a book about some random teenage vampires in Australia or Brazil or somewhere other than the Cullen orbit. The world is big, and there are teenage girls everywhere.
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Jul 6, 2020 16:51
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Cythereal posted:Who the everloving gently caress puts that much makeup on a child?! The child, judging by my kids few ventures into unassisted makeup amusement.
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Jul 10, 2020 01:49
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A Real Horse posted:This is absolutely horrifying. Just.... every aspect of this is awful. There’s a reason we’ve just started saying “ok boomer” because addressing the latest boomer “faux pas/nightmare fuel” isn’t worth the effort.
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Jul 15, 2020 01:06
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I do appreciate the drama caused for lack of a loving echocardiogram. They stole an icu, but couldn’t find the time to pick up an ultrasound, or even just take one of renesmee.“an obvious letter” posted:Dear Aro:
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Jul 18, 2020 01:13
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Midjack posted:That there are a few vampires that refuse to touch Baby Sue as well as at least one vampire with full sensory illusion powers brings up yet another problem with the Renesmee character. Since vampire babies are widely known to be extremely charismatic, and since every vampire has some kind of super power, it seems a little foolish to trust anyone who vouches for Baby Sue and encourages you to “let her touch your mind so you can see the truth,” since it’s equally likely that Baby Sue is just a vampire baby who is projecting a heartbeat and other life signs, and then mind controlling vampires who touch her into supporting the “she’s a hybrid” story. The Volturi are still absolutely justified in destroying everyone present at the Cullen house unless they can take Baby Sue away for a comprehensive examination by their own people. As I mentioned up thread, an echocardiogram is trivial, hard to fake, and conclusive proof that a heart is there and beating away. If you're worried about mind control, have it monitored. This entire plot beat where "renesmee will be mistaken for an immortal child" is in contention for the dumbest vampire plot ever, and it's irritating that it wastes such a great idea. Vampire children being lovable sociopathic monsters is great. As usual, Meyer's worldbuilding is interesting and her ability to write the book in that world just can't keep up. For all the mud slung at Anita Blake and Harry Dresden, they are both written by far more competent writers and never approach this level of outright bad craft.
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Jul 25, 2020 16:03
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I take all PR interviews as just that. PR approved interview. Maybe Meyers is super interesting as a human, maybe not, but the “author of twilight interviewed by the times” persona is indeed a bland individual who says tepid things about her monsters. Excuse me, animals. Wouldn’t want to upset the kids.
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Aug 5, 2020 02:11
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hyperhazard posted:
The true meyers reader experience. Frustration mixed with horror.
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Aug 5, 2020 15:32
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I believe I mentioned that she is the best gift to fanfic ever. She wrote the boring characters in the interesting world. It's like she was trying to write companion novels for RPG sourcebooks or something.
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Aug 6, 2020 01:09
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Team Cullen is Blerping Off Again!
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Aug 8, 2020 14:40
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~then Bella went on interminably and Edward thought dark thoughts of sociopathy and blood while Rosalie watched in horror.~
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Jan 25, 2021 18:01
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chitoryu12 posted:Looking back on it, Edward surprising the RN and Renee is so stupidly Edward. His first reaction to hearing people coming is to find a dark corner to dramatically, silently stare from. His first instinct was to look for a fainting couch, the corner of solitude and brooding was a fallback position...
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Jan 21, 2022 22:55
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Ah yes, prayers to the god of lost causes and clumsy idiot children. At last the decision to fail at suicide by maniacal ancients makes sense.
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Feb 10, 2022 21:41
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