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chitoryu12 posted:If he has no blood in his body, was it a boner produced by venom in Breaking Dawn? If so, why does it only work for that? The whole venom thing makes no sense. Does he cum venom? Is his saliva venomous? Does he sneeze venom? Does he produce earwax, and if he does, is it also venomous? I've officially thought more about this than Smeyer has.
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Nov 11, 2020 20:45
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 01:28 |
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macabresca posted:The way they solved it in Vampire: The Masquerade (and possibly other vampire media, I'm not a specialist) is so much better. There the blood that vampires suck just circulates in their bodies so that they can perform all the bodily functions and when it runs out, they need to feed again. Sorta like, um... regular food works. What the hell was Meyer thinking Same in LKH. Feeding made vampires more "lifelike" until it wore off.
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Nov 12, 2020 04:30
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The Assassination of Rosalie Cullen by the Coward Stephenie Meyer
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Dec 22, 2020 06:24
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macabresca posted:How about helicopter harnesses? It's startling how basic EL James's prose style is. There's a lot of sense detail, but it's all told in a flatly descriptive way, with similar sentence structures, and it ends up feeling like a 1st grade grammar book. But pervy.
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Mar 29, 2021 22:24
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I'm looking forward to the HP thread. Trying to maintain enthusiasm for picking at the minutiae of the narrator swapped version of Twilight has been hard. I'm not mad at it, but the novelty of Edward's internal monologue wore off ages ago, and I can only skim for minor changes Smeyer made after the main line finale for so long before my eyes go wobbly. Again, not a slight on chitoryu12, I just very much look forward to new poo poo.
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Apr 16, 2021 06:26
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quote:It took me twelve seconds to shift through the gears until I was in sixth. I didn’t plan to shift down again. It's a good thing she has car people to rely on, because she obviously doesn't know how to drive  The bit about them jacking a Cayenne is especially funny for me, because that happened to my MAGA CHUD aunt and her Escalade in Phoenix about 8 years ago 
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Jul 26, 2021 20:18
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 01:28 |
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chitoryu12 posted:What's supposed to be a relationship therapy video turns into the two of them trying to figure out how a good director and two good actors turned out such a dogshit movie, and it turns out to be "accurate book portrayal." This is where I think Hemlock Grove went astray. I ended up watching the series 3 times in a couple weeks for no good reason, and I've always enjoyed it despite it being...well, it's shite. It's absolutely shite. So I picked the book it was based on up on a whim, and holy poo poo, every problem with the TV series goes back to the fact that they let the author write the series, and my hot take is that he chunked the book up into 13 equal chunks and made each of those an episode. The pacing is poo poo awful, the reveals of key events make little sense, and there are seemingly superfluous characters all over. Turns out, all of that works great in the book! But if I were to adapt it, I would have tossed entire subplots and introduced more core concepts sooner. The other thing people poo poo on Hemlock Grove over is the language, but again, it works in the book. I dunno. The whole thing is a flawed shitshow, but I kinda enjoy it. The later seasons don't have any book basis and are increasingly terrible as they go along. The season finale of S2 is so amazingly horrible it almost wraps around into a MST3K-able situation. And one of the villains goes fully unhinged and starts having a sitcom-roommates friendship with a corpse, and it's  because Famke Janssen grabs the scenery with her teeth and gnaws heartily uponst it.chitoryu12 posted:Also, in case you don't follow my Bond thread where I said this, I'm not dead! I've been forming a new business and traveling constantly so I've just had very little time for posting. Everything I have planned is still getting finished, just at my own pace to avoid overloading myself. Sounds good! Looking forward to it.
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Dec 26, 2021 08:34
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