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This entire chapter was pointless torture porn. 
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Jun 8, 2020 22:15
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| # ¿ Apr 23, 2024 23:34 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Unfortunately, there's just no way to get the required look of "A 3-month-old baby with adult intelligence and emotions" without resorting to some serious Uncanny Valley CGI. Bella declining to murder Jacob the moment she learned abt the imprinting with her coven around for backup would have been a better way to show her self-control than the hiker bullshit, except that Meyer immediately tells us to pat herself on the back. I really hope Bella at least gets a decent swing at Jacob before someone stops her. A thought: I really wonder how those first few days went for the rest of the family to be so blase about Jacob. I would expect Rosalie to at least be bitchier about it. Malah fucked around with this message at 18:47 on Jun 19, 2020 |
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Jun 19, 2020 18:39
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gently caress TRUE LOVE. Get his rear end, Bella!
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Jun 20, 2020 02:49
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The worst part of that scene is that Jacob just stood back and watched instead of flipping out, trying to jump Kate, and getting tazed for his efforts. That would have been funny and somewhat rewarding instead of another episode of Oh, Bella, You Dumbass! We've had three and a half books of that so far, please change the channel!
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Jul 30, 2020 09:24
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Even if Benjamin can't just immolate half the Volturi guard the moment they try to pull any shenanigans, I'd imagine just posturing with a fuel container he could easily chuck at their back line would be an effective deterrent. If Jane and Alec require sight to control their witchcraft, then Zafrina and Benjamin or Kate should be able to disable them if combat breaks out. Bella should obviously be protecting her strongest combatants instead of planning to suicidally charge what'd probably be one of the two best defended enemy positions. Or, hell, spend some of that Cullen fortune hiring a PMC to fire bomb the Volturi off the face of the planet if they move aggressively. Super senses wouldn't save them from an unknown attack if they don't even recognize it as such. Vampires that turned centuries or millennia ago wouldn't understand the impending danger unless Aro happened to eat someone with knowledge of modern warfare in the past century. I entirely agree that it feels like they're not even really trying here. The Cullens are obscenely loving rich! Fight dirty like rich people do!
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Aug 3, 2020 23:28
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Wiping out the Volturi isn't even necessary - if they're truly just upholding order then Carlisle's dumbass witness plan actually works, because everyone goes home once they demonstrate Demon Baby's growth and self control. If they're making a power grab, then the Cullens only have to credibly threaten Aro's other collectors pieces and the Volturi legitimacy as peacekeepers. I still don't remember how this ends up going down, but betting on a contrived confrontation that works out because Deus Ex Alice is just free money
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Aug 4, 2020 00:37
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I never saw the movie. That fakeout battle was a godly troll, especially with the book's ending right next to it for comparison. It really shows the utter disdain that the actors and crew had for these books.  The book's climax is godawful, of course, but it is comical that, after all that posturing and then Aro resorting to fully unmasking, Alice shows up out of nowhere and completely owns him. The Volturi fully unmasked their evil in front of a mass of witnesses, including their own picks, and they got absolutely loving nothing for it. Everyone else will go home, spread the news, and the Volturi are going to lose their legitimacy. The Volturi are only special because of two things: Chelsea's power enables many vampires to cooperate in their guard instead of the usual instinctual infighting that would occur. Aro has also collected a group of powerful witches that completely disable enemies, while Renata ensures Aro is safe from ambush. At some point the Cullens actually had the winning strategy: take out the twins and then disable Renata or use an ability that goes through her shield. A competent writer would have done a better job of seeding the idea that the Volturi - effecticely Aro and Caius - act out of self interest. They just have good PR. Any group with sufficient numbers or the right witch setup could eliminate rogue vampires. If Bella controls her shield properly and Zafrina can blind the guard, then Kate could take out the entire guard while dancing and painting her nails. Her taser ability would prevent any retaliation while she decapitates everyone . Benjamin would be even easier if he just set everyone on fire. Stephanie Meyer, however, just chickened out and dragged Deus Ex Alice in to curb stomp the social boss fight. I can't believe that film clip inspired me to write this much about this awful book.
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Aug 22, 2020 08:09
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| # ¿ Apr 23, 2024 23:34 |
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The LP curse looms. 
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Dec 31, 2020 00:55
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