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What is the worse weed?
This poll is closed.
Wild Garlic 3 8.82%
Sheep Sorrel 6 17.65%
The Devil's Lettuce 12 35.29%
Goku 13 38.24%
Total: 24 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
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EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
Weeds. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Any plant growing in a spot it is not wanted is classified as a weed. But some plants are wanted in fewer spots than others, and have gained much more notoriety.

I have an old rear end book from the 1940's about a guy describing a bunch of random weeds. In this book is untapped knowledge about weeds of all shapes and sizes, tell you what to look out for, why these weeds suck rear end and are your enemy, and sometimes the best way to kill them.
Authentic hard cloth covers and hand drawn illustrations. Oh yeah :mmmsmug:



The following weeds are discussed in this book:





If there is a particular weed you would like to know about, holler at me and I can share what this book has to offer.

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EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
To start with, here is what this book has to say about a particularly vile weed: the WILD GARLIC






Do you believe there is no weed worse than WILD GARLIC, whose complete eradication is to be devoutly wished, goons?

PsychedelicWarlord
Sep 8, 2016


let's hear about fall panic grass OP

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Food needs more garlic. Weed needs more garlic. The World needs more garlic. My farts have just enough garlic

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

PsychedelicWarlord posted:

let's hear about fall panic grass OP

I got you covered.





That's all there is about fall panic grass. It is an utterly unremarkable, but downright despicable weed nonetheless.

Slush Garbo
Nov 20, 2007

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
how about ol' Poor Joe?

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
But what if I told you about a plant communist? One that waves the red flag wherever it moves in to invade the democratic grasses? A true child of calamity, naturalized only from European soil and not of pure American soil?

I speak of the one and only SHEEP SORREL





:ussr:

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

I swear someone already made this same stupid fuckin thread like 2 years ago

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

a primate
Jun 2, 2010

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I swear someone already made this same stupid fuckin thread like 2 years ago

Thread good

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Hugh Malone posted:

how about ol' Poor Joe?

It got its name because it loves growing in poor soil, where little else grows. Making it a perfect plant opportunist :wink:



sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I swear someone already made this same stupid fuckin thread like 2 years ago

And here we see the Goon Weed that sprouts between the cracks in a thread, making everyone wonder "how does life find itself there?"

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
Go for the classic dandelion

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.
What's this guy got against wild garlic? It tastes good.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Who What Now posted:

Go for the classic dandelion






Fun fact about dandelions: They can make their own viable seeds via a process called apomixis, a form of asexual reproduction.

That means for dandelion infested yards, it's very likely all of them are genetically identical, being derived from a single individual plant :buddy:

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

EorayMel posted:

I got you covered.





That's all there is about fall panic grass. It is an utterly unremarkable, but downright despicable weed nonetheless.
It's actually not unremarkable. Unless I'm totally mixing them up, this stuff (https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/agricultural-and-biological-sciences/bromus-tectorum) is more commonly called cheatgrass now. It's an invasive species and a huge problem in the American west. It can do a lot of damage to pets and livestock because it can be so rigid and sharp, and it's a big fire hazard.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.
Hit us with the Smartweed OP. First in its genus to graduate university.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

FactsAreUseless posted:

It's actually not unremarkable. Unless I'm totally mixing them up, this stuff (https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/agricultural-and-biological-sciences/bromus-tectorum) is more commonly called cheatgrass now. It's an invasive species and a huge problem in the American west. It can do a lot of damage to pets and livestock because it can be so rigid and sharp, and it's a big fire hazard.

You're mixing it up. Different genus and species entirely. Panicgrass is native in the US.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

FactsAreUseless posted:

It's actually not unremarkable. Unless I'm totally mixing them up, this stuff (https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/agricultural-and-biological-sciences/bromus-tectorum) is more commonly called cheatgrass now. It's an invasive species and a huge problem in the American west. It can do a lot of damage to pets and livestock because it can be so rigid and sharp, and it's a big fire hazard.

There are reasons why it's in this book about weeds, but you might be thinking of "cheat" when it comes to problematic plants mingling in wheat fields.



Slush Garbo
Nov 20, 2007

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
aw, scrappy ol' Poor Joe :unsmith:

Resting Lich Face posted:

What's this guy got against wild garlic? It tastes good.

clearly you got demons, child. repent!

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves
Thread is good. Wish I had ops book it looks mad good too.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Gridlocked posted:

Thread is good. Wish I had ops book it looks mad good too.

I bet it smells real good too. Old book is good sniffin'

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Need to hear about the weeds of moist wet places. Thanks chum.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Resting Lich Face posted:

You're mixing it up. Different genus and species entirely. Panicgrass is native in the US.
drat. I tried to google it but the only thing I could find it was ambiguous. Good to know.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Resting Lich Face posted:

Hit us with the Smartweed OP. First in its genus to graduate university.

:actually: there are two smartweeds. Which one do you mean?

Perhaps...both :eng101:









EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Outrail posted:

Need to hear about the weeds of moist wet places. Thanks chum.

Looks like a couple of the ones already posted here are weeds of moist and wet places.



So here's a new one from that group: the MORNING GLORY



Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Carpet weed haha we've all been there amirite

Grevling
Dec 18, 2016

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I swear someone already made this same stupid fuckin thread like 2 years ago

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Pretty sure it was Pick.

immortalyawn
May 28, 2013

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
nut grass

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

EorayMel posted:

Looks like a couple of the ones already posted here are weeds of moist and wet places.



So here's a new one from that group: the MORNING GLORY





Ugh I hate this plant, it’s killed two new planting trees and I can’t get rid of them. It killed a Japanese maple that I paid some real money for. I just don’t go in the backyard area enough and it’s spread every week. It has poison ivy mixed in too in the area. gently caress.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
A new weed has sprouted? Which one is it?

This one is NIMBLE WILL. With bonus self-censored swearing about it, that's how you know this is a REAL weed!



Fabulousity
Dec 29, 2008

Number One I order you to take a number two.

EorayMel posted:

Fun fact about dandelions: They can make their own viable seeds via a process called apomixis, a form of asexual reproduction.

That means for dandelion infested yards, it's very likely all of them are genetically identical, being derived from a single individual plant :buddy:

Ah, so the people growing mushrooms from cum socks aren't just gross grognards, they're attempting apomixis! :science:

What's "Man-under-ground" (page 190) all about?

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
jimsom weed obv :catdrugs:

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

Fabulousity posted:

Ah, so the people growing mushrooms from cum socks aren't just gross grognards, they're attempting apomixis! :science:

What's "Man-under-ground" (page 190) all about?

Let's find out!






The Walrus posted:

jimsom weed obv :catdrugs:

*There was the plant's common and scientific name on the very bottom of a previous page so it's omitted, but nothing's lost:


Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

"Smiling on all the world like a big woman obstructing the view of a small boy at the movies"

was not a phrase I was expecting to see describing morning glories today.

Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy
scan in the page on blooming onions

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017
I was interested if something my grandma called "skunk cabbage" was in there. Its scientific name is symplocarpus foetidus. The only symplocarpus genus in your book is "Buck Brush," which when I google has a totally different genus.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
Flower flower, of an hour.
Which weed will I next scour?
Read this: knowledge is power!



Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
This dude has some deep weed knowledge and I’m impressed. Thanks for this thread and effort op.

Alien Sex Manual
Dec 14, 2010

is not a sandwich



Man-under-ground is purdy :3:

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OxMan
May 13, 2006

COME SEE
GRAVE DIGGER
LIVE AT MONSTER TRUCK JAM 2KXX



I wonder if it's the same book as that other old thread too, it too was filled with all sorts of personal opinions and anecdotes about the various weeds and such. I'm happy to see it back though, loved that thread and it's been long enough that I've forgotten it and can love it all over again.

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