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90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
I'd read tankie kratman.

edit: actually, I wouldn't. he's just that bad.

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90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
I am wearing black cloth now, no armor. Twin lightning bolts decorate my collar. My body rocks with the motion of the vehicle I ride. I know what it is. My memory, more memories I did not know I possessed, tells me it is called a “Panzer VI, Ausfuerung A”… a “Tiger I,” some would call it.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

NoNostalgia4Grover posted:

Undecided whether this is parodying late-era Michael Moorcocks Eternal Champion stories or just pure Tom Kratman parody.
Either way, totally plausible.
You can believe that if it helps you sleep at night.

the tank orgasms as it kills russians

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

StrixNebulosa posted:

What the gently caress is that from
I command, “Halt,” then, “Fire,” and my Tiger’s cannon blooms in flame and smoke. Half-stunned by my own vehicle’s concussion, I see a T-34 come to a stop, its turret askew and the first licks of flame sprouting from its violated hull.

My pleasure center tingles very strongly. I shiver in the command hatch. Again our gun belches and the pleasure I feel at seeing another hit grows accordingly. With our first five shots, three of the enemy vehicles are destroyed. The pleasure is overpowering, indescribable. I search my data banks for a word for what I am feeling. It is “orgasm.” I want more. I never want it to stop.

Big Boys Don't Cry, Tom Kratman's Hugo-nominated Bolo knock-off novella.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20882829-big-boys-don-t-cry

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

NoNostalgia4Grover posted:

I immediately thought "...But how would ED GREENWOOD be able to adapt his one character into a sci-fi setting?"
Then I thought NANOMACHINES SON!. Word replace nano-machines for "spells, spellbooks, etc" and jumble around the hyphens in his Forgotten Realms character/location names with apostrophes + Scriptio continua and Greenwood could churn out content like mad.
Ed Greenwood's Numenera.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
Pizza Delivery Person Third Class Alonzo Gomez smoothly turned his control wheel counterclockwise, with the skill of a man who'd practiced this maneuver for years.

Military fantasy is good as well. I like The March North by Graydon Saunders. I also like the sequels which switch genre from MilF to wizard students, but a lot of people wanted more military stuff and weren't as happy. The setting is neat and socialist, the writing style is a bit weird and you have to get used to it, and the world is the kind of hosed-up hellscape any random D&D setting would turn into with a background of unfathomably powerful wizards ruining poo poo and ruling slave empires and making horrifying creatures in vats for a hundred thousand years. The Commonweal doesn't like that sort of thing and they try very hard to keep the bad old days in the past and outside their borders.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

SardonicTyrant posted:

Never a better time to mention that Tom Kratman is a huge piece of poo poo. A few years ago back on the spacebattles forums a mod/former marine tanker named Thanatos did a hate-read of one of his books. Kratman did not take it well, and decided to add a character named Thanatos to a few of his books as a dumber version of him. Then Thanatos came out as trans, and Kratman went full turbo-chud and kept refering to her in the most disgusting and derogatory ways he could think of. I would not be surprised if Big Boys Don't Cry was meant to be a jab at Thanatos.
She's mentioned in the story. It's not good.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
That's a big number, but I honestly can't tell if you're exaggerating or not.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
Gaunt's Ghosts: MilSF.

Ian Watson's Space Marine: not MilSF.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

PupsOfWar posted:

i should probably do a legacy of the aldenata effortpost in here at some point if ringo is gonna keep coming up


47th panzer korps is pressured by leftists

quote:

WATCH ON THE RHINE BEGINS
This is the real warning phrase.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
The giant artillery piece was named after the sluggy freelance rabbit because all the soldiers loved that comic and read it and printed it out.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
You know what also owns? loving Crüxshadows. Winterborn truly captures the spirit of a true soldier and by saying some of the lyrics you can tell if another soldier is the real deal.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

Kchama posted:

His fix was just to shrink the ships, which now means they have more mass in missiles than they do ship.
It's where he was heading all along.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
I always liked that one Berserker story where a planet exiles some guy into space for the crime of making jokes. He finds a damaged Berserker, teaches the bomb phenomenology Berserker that the thing it should be exterminating is joylessness, and brings it back.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

ShinsoBEAM! posted:

Then later after building up the anticipation it has to be used so you have the great reaction shots from all the people on the opposing side who didn't know being in shock and awe of the thing is that is really cool.
Or sometimes just "But none of this mattered, as none of the ships in this battle had it."

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
yes please

also I don't read Weber any more but I know I'll end up reading something of his sooner or later, just to yell at it, and to procrastinate on reading good books that I don't feel like I deserve to read yet.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
It might have been OK if I'd read it in short story form, but whoa did that loving novel need an editor. Or an author willing to write something more than a short story with more words crammed in the gaps.

It could have been a good shitpost with a better author!

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

shovelbum posted:

so was it like blindsight?
No, draculas.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
At least you can get some satisfaction out of Kratman. Don't read the bad space vampire book.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
That's the starfire combat system, though. The full campaign rules kind of expanded from there.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS - WHAT CHANGED?
[Examination of the changes in SOLAR STARFIRE]

Detection rules for WPs also had some major changes that could significantly impact gameplay. Due to the separation of "data" and "information" (in the communications changes below), WP information is now harder to get. No more detection of WPs with regular sensors unless you are close enough to directly see the transit (1/2 T or Scan range). Transits still give you some size and transit information, but you have to observe a transit - no more sending one ship through and that ship getting all the information. Further information on WPs must be obtained through analysis of survey or transit data and that takes time.

Cargo rates have been adjusted so that it takes hours to unload at EL0, but the rate increases to the point it takes much less time at higher ELs

Communications are now broken into "Data" and "Information." Information is what is traditionally passed as communications in STARFIRE. Data, however, is raw data that must be processed before it becomes easily transmittable information. For example, Survey Data and Warp Point Location Information.

Genocide is better defined. Each other race in the game has a modifier to how much they hate or like genocide, so one race could care less and another could go nuts over the slightest infraction. Guess which one is statistically likely to YOUR ally?

Nuclear demonstration strikes can now be used with more or less warheads, and more than once, but it risks turning a potential surrender into defiance against surrender.

more knots added to trees that previously didn't have the right knots. Certain trees had unfair advantages in this regard.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
is, not was, and at least it's got famous Star Trek species the kzinti.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

Kchama posted:

Kratman is 100% grudges. One of his stories is just entirely him making GBS threads on this transperson who Let's Read'd his stories on one of the scifi forums, I forget which.
Athene, SpaceBattles/Sufficient Velocity. It's the story where the bolo knock-off has orgasms while in VR training as an SS tank shooting russians.

Of course, there's a new spin-off site these days, after the right-wing mods on spacebattles got caught making a safe space to teach unfairly-treated right-wing posters how to use terms like "dindu" instead of more common slurs, so they wouldn't have to be banned. I wonder if Kratman'll get an account there, and if they'll welcome him for triggering the libs, or still have some taste?

90s Cringe Rock fucked around with this message at 07:40 on Aug 26, 2019

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

lol, what??

Was there like a secret subforum they'd invite people to or was it just coaching via PM or...? How did they get exposed?
One of the premium member features was being able to create PM threads with an unlimited number of members, effectively a private thread. Originally it was kind of officially sanctioned (but not publicly-advertised), a place for the right-wing mods to help problem posters post more acceptably, despite this being a terrible idea. It was terrible, and was closed, but they started it right up again. And again.

Eventually someone had had enough and exposed them... with some lovely editing and at least one fake screenshot, but a) the posts that did exist were terrible and b) a bunch of private PM regulars showed up to defend themselves and own the libs and did exactly as badly as you'd expect - that's where the "no, stop saying the n-word, say dindu!" thing came from, it was willingly posted in defense of the PM. Currently the big discussion thread is closed while the admins sort through the whole thread and decide who gets banned. Some of the involved mods stepped down, and the staff said they were sad to see them go and wished them the best, which wasn't exactly good for appeasing the bloodthirsty masses.

New site's called The Sietch. QQ (the loli guro erotica-friendly spin-off) bans modern politics (in a way that makes the site veer right and full of assholes), so it wasn't a safe enough space for them.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

NoNostalgia4Grover posted:

I've read that collection of words 6 times now. It still doesn't parse as english to me, not sure I want it mansplained to me to know more {queue Starship Troopers movie " Do you want to know more?"
No. You don't.

NoNostalgia4Grover posted:

90s Cringe Rock, how the gently caress do you know/find out these things? And please share the list of links you regularly hit to find these details out for the rest of the thread please.
I just read a bunch of fanfic on SpaceBattles and Sufficient Velocity. SV was a spin-off, populated for various reasons - mods being shits on SB, and server troubles making SB look like it was at risk of going down. As a historical note, a lot of threads were copied over wholesale - they had a whole import process set up to help authors get their million words of Worm AU SI fic safely preserved on another site. SVs moderation policies aren't too awful, in that they actually ban nazis, and are endearingly quirky because they're extremely lawyer roleplay. When you appeal a punishment for a bad post, you get assigned a public defender and get a big fancy trial from the staff.

The other spin-offs that I am aware of are Questionable Questing, the porn and free speech and no politics and no kinkshaming site (which doesn't show you the NSFW stuff without an account), and The Sietch, the new free-er speech site brought to you by the SB secret conservative mass PM clusterfuck.

The recent secret conservative mass PM safe space clusterfuck was kicked off by this site. One of the images is fake, a lot of the rest are creatively cropped, and yet the idiots involved still managed to make themselves look worse. SpaceBattles has a long and exciting discussion thread. It started in mid-July and simmered along without attracting too much notice, somehow, then the mods decided to notify all forum users that there was a hot new place to argue. I'm not going to summarise 181 pages, but if you're new to the site's style, there are some menus at the top of the page - Threadmarks, Informational & Staff Posts - which are different categories of posts the mods decided to highlight. They also made another thread just to post information. One of the more important posts was PM user Xeno Major popping in to own all the libs, and making GBS threads all over himself.

The Tom Kratman story mentioned earlier has write-up by Athene.

Athene, of course, was the subject of this thread on SpaceBattles, where the rest of the staff announced that she'd decided to retire and thanked her for her service. There are quite a few best wishes posts until she shows up in the thread, at which point it gets angry. There was (at least one) SV thread, the OP of which has exciting drama-filled links to the mess.

So that's a bunch of drama. In penance, some milsf of varying quality from the sites.

The Last Angel and its sequel are cool stories about a crazy AI battleship avenging the human race which isn't entirely dead yet, just being treated really shittily by the Not Covenant From Halo who mostly genocided them. All the Little Lost Boys and Girls from the same author is a story of mercenaries investigating a long-lost secret research space station that's full of horrifying dead space poo poo. The author previously posted it on another site that was kind of a rival to SB? but is rewriting and reposting it. Both of these are original, not fanfic, just occasionally heavily inspired by other sources.

Dirty Harri's Harpies is a nasty as gently caress fanfic based on the new BattleTech video game, involving a lot of war crimes. It can occasionally be heartwarming.

Welcome to 1951 is literally a Kirk/Spock M*A*S*H crossover and that makes it technically military so I'm linking it. There isn't much written. That's a fanfic problem.

Tank is a Worm fanfiction - yes, the superhero story - where the protagonist has a different superpower. Instead of controlling bugs, she can transform into a large number of Soviet tanks, for the people. "Also, these are Communist tanks, so running over protesting students only makes them happier and more powerful." gently caress you all, this is milsf as gently caress, it counts, even if the s stands for superhero. It's also a completed story, which is rare.

If you're unfamiliar with reading stuff on the sites, there are Threadmark menus alongside the main post which let you jump to different story posts, and also go into Reader Mode to just see the tagged posts and not the millions of replies and comments.

90s Cringe Rock fucked around with this message at 20:57 on Aug 26, 2019

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

Larry Parrish posted:

however that sounds incredibly reactionary and bad
yes

unless you mean Tank, which is actually good

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

Larry Parrish posted:

i meant tank.
It's leftist shitposting about tankies mostly.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
Krull loving owns and if Ringo was really influenced by it, he'd have to be better at what he does.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
Just give it to Scalzi. He may not really deserve it but it'll upset a lot of people.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

Khizan posted:

I feel like the setting is really immaterial. Nobody's gonna be ambushing ships in interstellar space as a matter of course because space is really big. If you're camping out in the middle of interstellar space, there's no guarantee you're gonna find anybody. Sure, you can sit on the shortest distance path between places A and B, but as soon as people suspect there's pirates out there they're just gonna take the extra bit of time and pick a different route and you'll never find them. If you want to reliably catch ships, you've got to be waiting where you know you'll find ships, and that means waiting at destination systems.

Or having people in the inside, with an ansible or at least lightspeed secure comms so you can get advance notice of any cargo or data on-board that may affect market conditions to your planetside traders.

Gods bless the good ship Crimson Permanent Assurance and all who sail on her.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
The one where they enter the anime zone?

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
Don't read John Ringo.

Just read straight Kratman instead.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
Do not read Kratman either. My previous post on the subject was false. Not even the orgasming SS tank story or the one with space blimp 9/11.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

Telsa Cola posted:

I thought it was an orgasming battleship.

no it was a knock-off bolo, going through vr training in which it was an ss panther and orgasming every time it killed a filthy soviet t-34

also when its crew died it knew what it meant to be raped

also i'm sorry for misgendering her, the tank was female, this was VERY IMPORTANT because there was one crazy failed tank ai that was trans (named after someone on a forum who laughed at kratman)

edit: I do hate myself, yes. No, I did not give Kratman money.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

PupsOfWar posted:

a balloon full of helium impacting at 6 mph can't melt steel beams
that arab guy in the tower cackling about their oncoming doom to the protagonist's wife and children would have been really embarrassed if the blimp just bounced off

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:

Telsa Cola posted:

Which book had the orgasming battleship then. I distinctly remember that.
It sounds awful, please find it and reread it and post it.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
oh ok thank you

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
riding a neotiger was not one of dio's best lines

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
Maybe an editor told him he needed a prologue sort of thing, so he slapped it in. He probably still had an editor back then.

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
Baen would probably have published the communist manifesto if he was already mates with marx or marx had previously written a spaceship story for him.

It's not necessary for him to die for Weber to get away with refusing a decent editor.

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90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006
:gay:
T. R. E. A. M.

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