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Keanu Reeves STATUS: Vampire This is a well documented fact at this point and I don't think we need to discuss it much further.  Sean Connery STATUS: Vampire Sean Connery was a normal human when he made the James Bond movies. He aged normally until about 1980 when he was sired by a vampire. (probably Keanu) It's very clear that he has not aged since and is not fooling anyone.  Jennifer Aniston STATUS: Ageing well Jennifer Aniston seems like she might be a vampire, but you need to consider that Vince Vaughn was with her for a period of time. There's a 0% chance that Vince Vaughn would ever dump a hot vampire.  Other notable individuals: Elizabeth Hurley STATUS: Vampire Mary-Louise Parker STATUS: Vampire Rob Lowe STATUS: Ageing well Kevin Bacon STATUS: Vampire Christie Brinkley STATUS: Vampire Kate Beckinsale STATUS: Ageing well Paul Ryan STATUS: Widows peak of Vampire but is actually just a douche
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Jun 28, 2019 18:59
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Some of those are clones, OP.
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Jun 28, 2019 19:02
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90% sure gilbert gottfried is a vampire myself
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Jun 28, 2019 19:03
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Debunk This! posted:90% sure gilbert gottfried is a vampire myself Holy poo poo you are right.
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Jun 28, 2019 19:06
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There's a reasonable scientific explanation for all of this OP https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WdCvGDpM9k
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Jun 28, 2019 19:13
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Picture me as a ten year old Kirsten Dunst
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Jun 28, 2019 19:16
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some people may think that Johnny Depp is a vampire because he constantly gets tangled up in hawthorn bushes, but that's actually just because he's drunk
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Jun 28, 2019 19:22
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similarly, Gary Busey's compulsion to count all the seeds he finds on the ground can be attributed to his well-documented brain damage rather than satanic powers
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Jun 28, 2019 19:26
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Michael Jackson - Skeletal Horror
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Jun 28, 2019 19:31
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Leslie Neilsen, famously silver-haired and unaging for decades, was a real-life vampire. sadly for the world of spoofs and spooks alike, his unlife was cut tragically short during the filming of Dracula: Dead and Loving It when improper handling of a prop stake caused him to burst into a sulfurous gout of hellfire--an event reminiscent of Brandon Lee's death on the set of The Crow, and which only underscores Hollywood's insufficient regard for safety regulations.
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Jun 28, 2019 19:41
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Angela Lansbury is definitely an immortal crone. http://nymag.com/arts/theater/features/31790/ 
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Jun 28, 2019 20:17
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Debunk This! posted:90% sure gilbert gottfried is a vampire myself I dunno, he's in this Critters TV show and he looks old as gently caress maybe he just hasn't drank any blood in a while?
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Jun 28, 2019 20:25
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I have been writing letters to Keanu asking to be his familiar and also maybe ride bikes and shoot guns with him but no reply yet. 
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Jun 28, 2019 20:27
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If I learned anything from the noted Vampire documentary series The Twilight Saga it's that Vampires sparkle in sunlight.
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Jun 28, 2019 20:29
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Pawn 17 posted:I have been writing letters to Keanu asking to be his familiar and also maybe ride bikes and shoot guns with him but no reply yet. Don't worry, he's just really busy lately, I'm sure he'll respond soon
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Jun 28, 2019 20:30
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Cat Army
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Paul Rudd is flirting with coming out of the coffin.a vampire posted:“I’m 80 years old on the inside.” He pointed to his chest: “In here, pure darkness — and a little moisturizer.”
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Jun 28, 2019 21:58
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uli2000 posted:If I learned anything from the noted Vampire documentary series The Twilight Saga it's that Vampires sparkle in sunlight. also they date high school students
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Jun 28, 2019 22:00
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Gary Busey is a Nosferatu
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Jun 28, 2019 22:02
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That girl who played in Drop Dead Fred hasn't aged a bit.
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Jun 28, 2019 23:35
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Tinfoil Papercut posted:Mary-Louise Parker I'm glad my post about Red Dragon in the Chernobyl thread finally got people to cotton on to this one
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Jun 28, 2019 23:38
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https://youtu.be/Lct6x-XqWrw Evidence.
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Jun 28, 2019 23:40
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*snoofs some vamps*
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Jun 28, 2019 23:43
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Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman STATUS: Ageing Well
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Jun 28, 2019 23:51
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Vampire = Botox
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Jun 29, 2019 00:02
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dog have you seen sean connery recently
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Jun 29, 2019 00:11
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Nope because op is a dumb dumb doodie head
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Jun 29, 2019 00:25
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Also Kate Beckinsale once tucked a piece of chocolate between a friend's butt cheeks while they were asleep once and made them think they'd poo poo their pants during a work meeting
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Jun 29, 2019 00:47
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Skypie posted:Also Kate Beckinsale once tucked a piece of chocolate between a friend's butt cheeks while they were asleep once and made them think they'd poo poo their pants during a work meeting I saw her tell this story on Graham Norton and it was loving hilarious. What a genius prank. Is Jeff Goldblum a vampire? I mean he's aging extremely well but also has a wife 30 years younger than him which I hear vampires like
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Jun 29, 2019 01:52
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Reiche posted:I saw her tell this story on Graham Norton and it was loving hilarious. What a genius prank. Vampire confirmed  she sired him, I would think
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Jun 29, 2019 01:58
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sometimes I wish a pretty vampire lady would do me but I bet that’s scary so no also biting people is gross
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Jun 29, 2019 02:03
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I think I'll always regret having never hosed a goth girl.
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Jun 29, 2019 03:18
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Burt will live forever.
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Jun 29, 2019 03:19
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If you ask a girl how many underworlds there are and she responds accurately, she'll gently caress I guarantee it.
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Jun 29, 2019 03:21
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Rad-daddio posted:That girl who played in Drop Dead Fred hasn't aged a bit. Eh, She Still looks great, but there doesn't appear to be any magic voodoo going on or anything 
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Jun 29, 2019 03:40
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gey muckle mowser posted:I dunno, he's in this Critters TV show and he looks old as gently caress True but its not so much his appearance as the dark aura of power and malevolence that seems to surround him. I get the sense he is capable of acts both great and terrifying... perhaps beyond even human understanding.
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Jun 29, 2019 04:24
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Wilford Brimley is a vampire but he was bitten when he was 80 years old so that's he looked 80 since the 80s.
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Jun 29, 2019 04:32
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RaceBannon posted:I think I'll always regret having never hosed a goth girl. In high school, one of the goth chicks wanted to bang me after finding out my girlfriend and I had split up. But I didn't think it was right to use her as a rebound and declined. She wound up loving one of the other goth/alt guys, who came to me and said "wow you dodged a bullet because not only is she bad in bed, she is also extremely dependent and will not leave me alone"
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Jun 29, 2019 04:46
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Came here for Aging Goths. Left disappointed.
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Jun 29, 2019 06:42
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I'd say George Clooney is a vampire, but he's been dying his hair gray to try and hide it for as long as he can.
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Jun 29, 2019 07:07
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Vampires, all of them. 
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Jun 29, 2019 07:08
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