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Tip warning you now, Don’t steal my jerking off with shampoo and it stinging your dickhole bit, it’s a killer opener
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Jul 5, 2019 18:50
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Toxic Mental posted:Tip warning you now, IT'S MY SHAMPOO AND MY DICK, I CAN WASH IT AS FAST AS I WANT TO
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Jul 5, 2019 18:54
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head and dick and shoulders.
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Jul 5, 2019 21:09
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Local Weather posted:Honestly pretty funny, that must have taken some nerve. Honestly, yeah, pretty nerve wracking. I already had a lot of stage experience, but nothing else really matches the pressure of being up there all alone performing a five minute comedic monologue you've written about yourself. You have no one to shift the blame to when you bomb (although you'll hear people try, lol). sticksy posted:Good on you for setting a deadline for yourself and that set, that Golden Grams joke was great. I'm glad everyone loved the Golden Grahams joke, I came up with it like ten minutes before I went on stage and it was the only part of that act I hadn't performed dozens of times. I really wrestled with whether it was too dumb, and then it ended up being my biggest laugh. I do have a few more minutes of material I've performed and multiple notebooks worth of totally unrefined stuff. It's actually kinda hard to do longer sets, all the open mics around me only gave you two to three minutes. To put together that five minute set I had to break it into pieces and practice the jokes mixed into smaller sets. It's actually pretty frustrating, because I have a lot of longer stuff I'd love to do on stage but it's story-based and really hard to break down into pieces I could do in that time. I'm on a bit of a break from it all right now, other priorities right now and doing standup really takes up a lot of my attention. This thread does have me thinking about it though, and I just looked and saw a bunch of new mics have popped up offering 5+ minutes. Tempting.
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Jul 7, 2019 00:36
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You can always tell an amateur comedian because they talk too much and too fast.
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Jul 7, 2019 00:44
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Ask audience whether they watch a popular show, and then say you don't watch it. When someone from the audience finally challenges you and asks about what you watch, say you only pornographic films with their mum. Proceed to list various sex acts in which their mother may engage in said films. Should make for a full hour set.
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Jul 7, 2019 02:01
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sticksy posted:Echoing the need for practice - fwiw I had pretty extensive public speaking experience and thought I'd be able to nail an easy couple minutes an open mic several years ago with little prep and (inevitably) I bombed and was a mess up there. Qft I hate doing this poo poo, but have to.
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Jul 7, 2019 03:13
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I liked the the "she has a complaint about racist jokes" ender. Quite good.
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Jul 7, 2019 03:42
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Put the mic stand between your legs like it’s your penis and thrust it at the audience you hardly ever see someone do that
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Jul 7, 2019 03:47
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the Golden Graham bit is very good but if I could offer some maybe constructive criticism I think you should try and speak like 5% slower, for some reason your jokes seem to scroll through my brain and it's like I'm catching up to your punch line slightly after you say it
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Jul 7, 2019 03:52
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Anyone dunks on Tip gets a probe unless they post better self video on stage.
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Jul 7, 2019 04:08
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The key to stand-up comedy, I think, is to set an expectation for something the audience is familiar with, to be followed by a line that then undercuts or subverts that expectation, twisting the situation unexpectedly.
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Jul 7, 2019 04:59
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Odddzy posted:head and dick and shoulders. So head and head and shoulders then
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Jul 7, 2019 05:37
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Burt Sexual posted:Anyone dunks on Tip gets a probe unless they post better self video on stage. Who's Tip? E: oh, thought his name was Lip for some reason.
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Jul 7, 2019 10:37
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Burt Sexual posted:Anyone dunks on Tip gets a probe unless they post better self video on stage. Is he your little brother or something? Laughing at others while having no skills of your own is a basic right of the internet, what the gently caress man.
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Jul 7, 2019 16:09
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I saw this guy recently and he was incredibly awkward but his set was p good all in all. I like dumb poo poo like this. Local stand up is fun. Good luck OP! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMYja-M5zKA
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Jul 7, 2019 19:02
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Can you finally answer the question of what actually is the deal with airplane food. Thank you Namaste
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Jul 8, 2019 07:00
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OP, when you start your set say to the audience "Boy, it's really hot in here." and then strip down completely naked. Then continue to do your entire set as normal, never call attention to the fact that you are naked. At the end, say "Now I'm cold!" and put your shirt back on so you are naked from the waist down. If you want to get on Bert Kreischer's level, you have to step up your game a bit.
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Jul 8, 2019 21:26
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Put your dick between your legs like it’s your penis and thrust it at the audience you hardly ever see someone do that
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Jul 8, 2019 21:31
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OP, if you realise that stand up is something you struggle with, you can always try doing comedy while sitting down.
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Jul 8, 2019 21:34
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here's how to win at standup; 1) find willing stooge 2) take stooge to open mic night 3) get stooge to go on stage and absoloutely and purposefully die 4) start heckling stooge 5) get stooge to say something to the effect "if you're so funny why dont you come up here?" 6) get up and confidently deliver your mediocre material 7) stooge bursts into tears and charlie brown walks away to a chorus of jeers and boos while you get (admittedly undeserved) riotous applause. then you jump into the back of an old timey pickup truck with jacko and the mcartneys and ride over to the next town to rinse and repeat. also all your merch is fake boner pills. easy money.
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Jul 8, 2019 21:49
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Bert Kreischer isn't funny, he's just lucky to be in the group. Same with Theo Von, his "stand up" is awful. His schtick is pretty weak. If you see him live, chances are he'll kick someone out because they're making too much noise. It's weird to see someone that gets in front of people for a living lose their cool so easily. I just don't think either are very creative.
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Jul 8, 2019 23:21
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Jihad Me At Hello posted:Bert Kreischer isn't funny, he's just lucky to be in the group. Same with Theo Von, his "stand up" is awful. His schtick is pretty weak. If you see him live, chances are he'll kick someone out because they're making too much noise. It's weird to see someone that gets in front of people for a living lose their cool so easily. I got kind of excited to watch Theo Von's special because he had a twitter about "Bus poo poo" relating to Conor Macgregor freaking out and throwing a chair at a bus. His special was really bad. He has a really cringey habit of calling women "bitches" which is fine if you are 2 Chainz but not if you are some friend of famous people with a put on accent. I thought Bert's material was pretty funny. Its every day observational stuff, and I enjoyed his stories about his daughters. I didn't pay for the ticket because I work out of the theater.
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Jul 9, 2019 00:07
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i hosted for theo von, he had some encouraging words for me about how hard it is to get a job as a white guy comic. which to be fair to him is truer than it used to be. not in a put-upon way;it's just opened up a little. inevitable. but still dude, just say something pat like "nice set" to me, drat. he definitely did his job well, crowd loved him. i think he got famous from, road rules? or one of the related shows
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Jul 9, 2019 03:03
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ELI PORTER posted:the Golden Graham bit is very good but if I could offer some maybe constructive criticism I think you should try and speak like 5% slower, for some reason your jokes seem to scroll through my brain and it's like I'm catching up to your punch line slightly after you say it Couldn't disagree more. This was perfect pacing.
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Jul 9, 2019 03:23
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Captain Finance posted:Couldn't disagree more. This was perfect pacing. See op, it was a bit fast for me but not noticed, people are different nbd.
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Jul 9, 2019 03:52
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Brolander posted:i hosted for theo von, he had some encouraging words for me about how hard it is to get a job as a white guy comic. which to be fair to him is truer than it used to be. not in a put-upon way;it's just opened up a little. inevitable. but still dude, just say something pat like "nice set" to me, drat. he definitely did his job well, crowd loved him. LOL what an insane thing to say to someone. So you're saying that the southern good ol' boy routine isn't put on and hes just an actual racist?
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Jul 9, 2019 04:07
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Paladinus posted:OP, if you realise that stand up is something you struggle with, you can always try doing comedy while sitting down. This could actually be funny if you had a huge armchair for a prop and spend the first 2 min of your set struggling to drag it to the center of the stage.
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Jul 9, 2019 08:19
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Jihad Me At Hello posted:Bert Kreischer isn't funny, he's just lucky to be in the group. This is often referred to as the Rich Vos effect.
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Jul 9, 2019 17:09
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Tip my worthless advice is to not ask the audience "have you heard of [x]?!". It's consistently the low point of your audience engagement, adds nothing to other jokes, and just serves to fill time you don't need to fill. Cut those parts out, and just give longer pauses to your punchlines to give them time to breathe. Otherwise good set, keep working it and you could open for someone imo.
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Jul 9, 2019 17:39
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Crowd work is poo poo you do when either your jokes are failing or you have no material. A last resort unless you're being heckled.
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Jul 9, 2019 17:44
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