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Last week I noticed a bird nest on my lawn. It was about 15' away from a large tree, so I assumed that the wind must have knocked it down. Being a gentle, helpful human, I put on gloves and very carefully placed it back in the tree: I felt like I'd done a good thing and was really proud of myself, but then the next day I saw the beginnings of a new nest on the ground underneath my partner's car. The next day the nest was complete, so in an effort to try and teach this idiot bird that nests go in trees, I moved it to the tree:  *Noticeably crappier construction, I think given more time it could have done a better job* That day I noticed a Robin plopping around where the nest was. Another Robin landed near it and it chased it off, then returned underneath my partner's car to chill. Then I left for a few days. During that time I got a text from my partner telling me that a new nest was on the ground. Then the next day there was a cute little egg. That afternoon my partner came home to find the nest torn to shreds and the egg gone  Anyway, this morning I walked out to find this:  The moron bird is at it again. I fully expect that it will be done by the end of the day. What can I do, GBS? This bird is obviously not cut out for bird stuff but he works really hard.
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Jul 11, 2019 10:22
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 01:32 |
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the bird is a metaphor for you, op
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Jul 11, 2019 10:30
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Put up a little sign that says "Don't build a nest here!"
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Jul 11, 2019 10:31
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salt the earth
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Jul 11, 2019 10:41
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Dang, I feel that if I knew how to fix a birdbrain I'd also know how to fix my brain. Unless you can find some obnoxious toy that will emit loud noise at random, I don't think the bird will abandon the sweet spot.
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Jul 11, 2019 11:06
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Fill the nest with fake eggs.
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Jul 11, 2019 11:12
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Have you tried talking with the bird? He might be having a hard time.
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Jul 11, 2019 11:13
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Do you know what kind of bird it is? It's probably a ground nesting species (like a sandpiper).
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Jul 11, 2019 11:14
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Fight the bird and put it on youtube.
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Jul 11, 2019 11:16
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Icochet posted:Fight the bird and put it on youtube. This isn't Disneyland lol
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Jul 11, 2019 11:20
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You gotta move now. White flight.
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Jul 11, 2019 11:23
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Telebite posted:Do you know what kind of bird it is? It's probably a ground nesting species (like a sandpiper). No it's a Robin, just a dumb one
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Jul 11, 2019 11:25
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Complain to your homeowners association, that bird definitely didn't get permission from the architectural committee before building those nests.
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Jul 11, 2019 11:52
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just let it nest and park your car carefully. egg season isn't that long. build it a little box?
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Jul 11, 2019 11:59
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Blow up the whole tree you idiot.
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Jul 11, 2019 12:03
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I feel helpless. Maybe a human-made birdhouse with pretend chimney is more it's liking
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Jul 11, 2019 12:06
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You have to spray your musk all over that car and tree. Better spray the perimeter of your house too. You must do this in broad daylight too.
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Jul 11, 2019 12:11
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Shark mouth eat the eggs
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Jul 11, 2019 12:26
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Cool story OP, have you ever heard of this idea called "natural selection?"
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Jul 11, 2019 12:34
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Ask to speak with the birds manager.
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Jul 11, 2019 12:43
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God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title
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Jul 11, 2019 12:54
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Stop taking away his home you dick!
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Jul 11, 2019 13:34
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I think I'll see if it keeps building today and if it does go with peanut's suggestion and make a little stick fence around it to keep out egg poaching animals It's own little Groverhoause
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Jul 11, 2019 13:52
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Xaintrailles posted:Shark mouth eat the eggs
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Jul 11, 2019 13:55
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Load bearing feathers
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Jul 11, 2019 14:00
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In all honesty, touching the nest, even with gloves on, marks it with scent. Birds do not like that. Disturbing a nest or attracting attention to it freaks birds out, especially robins. If they think you've seen the nest (OH NO) they will abandon or destroy it. Moving it or putting a box or things around it will confuse and anger the birds because birds are loving stupid, stupid animals. The best thing you could do is put up a nice box for them NEAR the location that they've seemingly chosen, again, stupidly, because they are stupid, stupid birds and are dumb, and hope they move themselves into it after this new nest is again destroyed. The fact that they laid an egg in the other nest before it got blown up is PROBABLY not a good sign, because I THINK the birds want to build a nest when they are getting ready to pop out their egg(s) and once they laid, they, well, are out of eggs. They may still want to build another nest because they are stupid and still feel the need to build a nest now that it's nest building time, but might not have any more eggs left in their bird-egg tube to crap out into it, because of how dumb they are.
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Jul 11, 2019 14:02
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My understanding was that songbirds have a poor sense of smell, and our moms told us otherwise to stop us from meddling with wild birds and coming home covered in insects. Robins are really skittish about disturbed nests and very stupid in where they put them though, that much I'm sure is true. If this bird is building a ground-nest to lose eggs out of, maybe he is too stupid to breed. Or maybe he was playing cards with a snake and got really far behind and now he owes the snake a couple of eggs.
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Jul 11, 2019 14:06
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Jul 11, 2019 14:11
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If you gently caress with the nest or the eggs they will reject them and poo poo. Go watch Watership Down (original) and get sorted. Animals dont have parents, ambulances, healthcare, strangers who can help with a wound. They cant help them selves, and neither can other birds help them, if their beak is broken, theres nowhere to go. ---------------- immortalyawn fucked around with this message at 14:42 on Jul 11, 2019 |
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Jul 11, 2019 14:38
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Uhh bunny rabbits don't lay eggs.
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Jul 11, 2019 14:41
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Yeah, sounds like you got the original nest and eggs rejected dude. Birds don't need your help, sounds like they're all laughing at you tbh.
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Jul 11, 2019 14:42
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Colonel Cancer posted:Uhh bunny rabbits don't lay eggs. its an animal film with similar poo poo dumbdick ----------------
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Jul 11, 2019 14:43
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I saw this thing on tv that is a plastic owl that makes noise and flashes spooky red laser eyes at unwanted animals, maybe look into that OP.
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Jul 11, 2019 14:46
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Robins build their nests in dumb places in general build a little box and put the nest in it. The robin will use it
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Jul 11, 2019 14:48
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No, OP should kill themselves under the tree, the animals that would like the birds will feast on the body instead, and the egg can just do its poo poo.big nipples big life posted:I saw this thing on tv that is a plastic owl that makes noise and flashes spooky red laser eyes at unwanted animals, maybe look into that OP. theres one of those owls in storage at my work, i want to have it on my counter next to my plant, but nooooo. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) ----------------
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Jul 11, 2019 14:50
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Moron Bird Help sounds like a cool album name.
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Jul 11, 2019 14:50
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Badman (OP) and robin
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Jul 11, 2019 15:05
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This bird has failed to learn from thousands of years of bird development. Evolution has failed this bird. It is too stupid to place its nest out of reach from predators, and does not deserve to pass on its genes. A bird who endanger he own nest. A shameful bird.
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Jul 11, 2019 15:15
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Birds always assume the intelligence of their landlord, OP. This is known since ancient times
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Jul 11, 2019 15:20
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 01:32 |
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Chomp8645 posted:This bird has failed to learn from thousands of years of bird development. Evolution has failed this bird. It is too stupid to place its nest out of reach from predators, and does not deserve to pass on its genes. Word
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Jul 11, 2019 15:23
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