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teen witch
Oct 9, 2012




Clitch posted:

I don't know where I heard it. Maybe here, but the saying goes: If you've lost an arm, and you meet someone who's lost both arms, you're still missing an arm.

Even if you found it on a laffy taffy wrapper, that statement is going into the ol mental Rolodex. It explains something (unrelated) I couldn’t explain before

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Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Indeed. I often implore people to vent to me because I know it would be cathartic for them, but they usually just end up apologizing because they know I've had it worse. That they don't deserve to complain. And I keep arguing that no, your pain is completely valid too. It's not a competition. You and I both knew beforehand how lovely my life was and I still encouraged you to whine about your situation, so seriously, don't feel bad for bitching. It helps and I'm more than willing to listen.

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


It's absolutely not a competition, bad poo poo happening to someone else doesn't mean it didn't happen to you, too!

Anyone in this thread end up watching F is for Family? In the most recent season, the main character's abusive dad drops in by surprise, and the abuser puts on this super nice face to his grandkids, and the dad is going apoplectic because grandpa was an abusive shithead to him and is acting like nothing ever happened. Only at the end of the season do the kids realize what a "cycle of abuse" is and how lovely grandpa really is, and the dad realizes he's been unconciously adapting some of lovely grandpa's behaviors. It's a nice season.

Laminar
Dec 11, 2006



Rat Patrol posted:

I've heard other people phrase it as a safety thing, if that helps. "We don't see them because they are not nice, and it is not safe to spend time with them." That way they get a sense that it's not just you avoiding the question, but also a matter of you looking out for them, too.

This is the path I think I'm going to go down I think. Appreciate it. I'll let the thread know how it goes.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Lieutenant Dan posted:

It's absolutely not a competition, bad poo poo happening to someone else doesn't mean it didn't happen to you, too!

This 1,000%.

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