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This whole bean dad thing reminded me of how I'd never call my father for directions when first learning to drive. This was a little before GPS, so I'd usually look something up on MAPQUEST. Sometimes I'd miss a turn or two, even if going someplace kinda familiar, and then I'd need help. If I called my dad I'd get berated for several minutes first "You've seen me drive there so many times" "You KNOW it's west, just go west" etc. This actually lead to my first and only significant traffic accident because I went in circles for like 15 minutes trying to find this turn I knew was nearby. Then I finally found it from the opposite direction of travel I normally take. I made a left across a few lanes of traffic at a green light without giving enough time because I was super anxious and just glad to have found my turn. I called my dad after the accident and he mainly made fun of me, like "its 5 minutes from home, you go here every week, why were you turning LEFT" He would do the same thing to my brother / mother. I remember calling like my college room mate between semesters, my girlfriend, my brother, random friends who might be at a computer and making them look directions up for me because I was terrified to call my dad and would only do it as an absolute last resort.
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Jan 6, 2021 18:33
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| # ¿ Apr 18, 2024 21:39 |
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DAAAAAAD! MOM IS WAKING ME UP AGAIN! every. single. time.
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Mar 25, 2021 20:37
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poo poo i wish that had worked on my parents. Any time i wanted to stay home sick i was confined to my bedroom which did not have a tv or anything. Best I could do was read. I was grounded for entire semesters for "poor" grades, which was the same punishment as being home sick. No tv, no games, no going out to friends. I hated school and was probably severely depressed. This is probably how i learned the life skill / maladaptation / coping mechanism of doing the bare minimum to not be punished, that way I get a few hours of peace each day and just keep moving.
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Jun 11, 2021 17:45
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Picnic Princess posted:Remembered a cringy grounding moment, I was grounded from TV but they wanted to force me to be part of the family, so they put a chair in the middle of the room facing them while they sat on the couch and watched TV. But they tried to pretend they weren't. Our TV was hooked up through the stereo, so if the stereo wasn't on, there'd be no sound. So they used the remote to turn the TV on, but TVs make sound. I heard the click and high pitched whine of the TV come on and called them out, and I guess they couldn't hear it? They were confused how I knew and I said I could hear it and they didn't believe me. Of course, they never loving believed anything I ever said. I argued several times after that all TVs emit a faint high pitch noise and they still said I was making it up. I could always tell when they were arguing for the sake of being right and genuine bafflement. I honestly think they had never noticed it or possibly couldn't actually hear it. I am much more sensitive to noise than most people I know. CRTs do in fact make a very high pitched noise that many people over ~30 can't hear. I'm almost 35 and can still hear it. Just depends on the person's individual biology and exposure to sounds over time. People tend to naturally accumulate this type of hearing damage with age and high frequencies typically get lost first. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIZR2PX9K8g&t=197s
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Dec 16, 2021 03:37
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AceOfFlames posted:Sorry if this sounds like nitpicking but it's been kind of bothering me.  or at least dont think about her motives, it will just make you unhappy. I'm sorry you have to deal with her.
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Aug 23, 2022 01:39
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| # ¿ Apr 18, 2024 21:39 |
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My experience is not as severe as many here but my dad especially made fun of all my interests, friends, body, clothing etc. My grades were never good enough, I didn't apply to enough colleges, I didn't graduate with the right major, I didn't try hard enough to get a good job, I should buy a house or rent a better apartment. He visited my place once in like 15 years of me living on my own. Every time I visit my parents they complain that i don't drive 2 hours to their house often enough. But they are never interested in my life or hobbies or job or anything that I do in my private life at all. There is a general sense of love because humans are wired that way, but we just have no connection or rapport at all because they have never been willing to humor my interests my entire life. So I visit them less and less and stopped bothering to stay the night. Best bet is to go early, make some small talk, eat, talk a little more and leave. I've tried to connect with them too, my dad is in great shape for his 60s and rides/works on motorcycles, etc. I invited him a few times to a place that gives group blacksmithing classes about halfway between our houses, and he chuckled at it like its a dumb idea even though I went once and showed him the railspike knife I made there. Not really a point to any of this. I spent alot of my 20s thinking I could do more, but nothing has worked. I've seen how several of my partners' parents interact with them and me over the years and I invariably build up a fast and easy relationship with them even bonding over things outside my normal interest like going to driving ranges, etc. It took me a long time to realize it's just them, and it sucks but there's nothing I'll ever be able to do to change it. Seeing them interact with their adult children by watching tv together or playing video games, or just talking about their child's life was an eye-opener for me but unfortunately didn't solve anything.
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Nov 4, 2022 21:48
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