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teen witch posted:Actually, it’s why I decided to do the thread: my father most likely has NPD and this behavior is like “if Trump wasn’t name dropped, I’d sincerely believe it was him”. Yeah cathartic is how I would describe it, I think.
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Jul 12, 2019 18:19
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Colonel Cancer posted:If your mom didn't yell at you for being sick in between telling you that she's gonna kill herself and how nobody appreciates everything she does, you weren't raised right This hit close to home. After my dad commit suicide last year my mom told she was mad at him because now if she did it, it would make her look like an rear end in a top hat for leaving me without any parents.
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Jul 13, 2019 03:12
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ArbitraryC posted:Not a good thing to tell your kid but as a random anecdote it seems like a perfectly normal coping thought for them to have. Like "man it sucks they commited suicide cause I have to deal with it and it's even worse if I do the same thing" is a dark thought for sure but not really a difficult to understand sentiment. Thinking about how it would affect others is basically the entire reason not to off yourself when you're in a bad place. I don't think it would have bothered me as much if it wasn't like, literally the day after I had to tell the doctors to pull the plug on him. Honestly that's just a fun anecdote, idk if I'm ready to start posting my childhood trauma for goons to pick apart. That said I still love my mom, I genuinely believe tried her best when I was a kid but she became a hosed up person from her own childhood trauma.
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Jul 13, 2019 11:17
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BluesShaman posted:I don't think that's how brain chemistry works. The environment you grow up in absolutely effects your brain chemistry.
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Jul 13, 2019 11:32
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teen witch posted:
Thanks 😘 My favorite mom stories that aren't traumatic: - Her and my aunt being blitzed on coke and weed while hosting a Halloween party/sleepover of several 11 year old girls. Party was fun and a hit though, helped me make some friends lmao - Taking me to work with her after hours at the country club to make a gingerbread house with all the supplies they were going to throw away after the rich kids paid to make some and absolutely cursing out her boss in front of like 5 year old me when he threatened to fire her for it.  - Letting me play MK2 with her and her co-workers while they drank and smoked (& did coke in the bathroom probably) & only one of them actually taking it easy on me cause I was a 7 year old child. 😂
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Jul 13, 2019 14:09
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share what you wish, no obligation. I love my dad too but turns out brutal civil wars and a low key genocide fucks with a kid. Still keeping my distance because while it may explain who he is, it certainly doesn’t loving excuse his behavior towards me.
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MasBrillante posted:This sounds like if I wrote a YouTube skit about how I imagined White Thanksgiving. Same lmao I'm glad my family is really mixed between black folks, italians and latinx.
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Jul 15, 2019 04:21
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A big flaming stink posted:loving italians, man. Yes but that extends to all sides of the family lmao
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Jul 15, 2019 05:59
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MasBrillante posted:Mentally ill: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3893331&pagenumber=1&perpage=40#post496502930 Maybe he's just mad his kids won't talk to him
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Jul 16, 2019 02:54
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Captain Rufus posted:Oh poo poo that's the story of my goddamn life at home and beyond. (Which tbf does make me wonder if it's me on some level or at least my way of speaking or mannerisms.) This was me as well. Funny how my mom chilled the gently caress out eventually when she stopped doing cocaine. Another thing she did was brag about how smart I was for music, art and coding as a kid (this was in the late 90s before Learn To Code™) but I have a very vivid memory of taking our vcr apart (not like ripping it to shreds or anything, just unscrewing some stuff and fiddling) because I really liked engineering and I wanted to know how things worked and she found me and was apoplectic. If I was creative in any way she didn't understand I got shut down or my rear end handed to me and it led to her praising me for creativity/ingenuity and punishing me any time I exhibited those traits. My grandmother was the same way except more chill about it. I had a really nice wooden easel she gave me Christmas and I drew on it so she gave it away because I "wasn't using it properly". She did the same thing with a trainset that I lived when I was 6. ugh I spent a lot of my childhood hiding in the woods because if I made any noise in the house it's a one way ticket to getting my rear end whooped or chewed out.
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Jul 17, 2019 13:54
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The thing my therapist and I have been working on right now is exactly this.Bobbie Wickham posted:Serious reply this time, YOU CANNOT SATISFY AN ABUSER AND THEIR DEMANDS. It's impossible: they're never happy with what you give, and they always demand more. I survived a lot of my childhood trauma (including sexual abuse) by people pleasing and making peace. I threw down a couple kids in highschool a few times but with adults that's just what worked. I used to do kickboxing as an anger outlet and lately it's been jogging/walking. I still really have to catch myself to speak up to my mother about a lot of poo poo which is funny because I'm pretty sure I parented her more than she parented me lol One thing that helped me was yeah she's gonna pitch a fit either loving way so I might as well tell her how I feel. 50% of the time she apologises afterwards so that's something
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Jul 18, 2019 13:30
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OMFG FURRY posted:the only time my mother ever apologized or even admitted she was wrong was when she got a hold of her xanax or got high on lunesta To give my mother credit she has been in therapy since she quit doing drugs when I was like 12 and I think at some point she genuinely wants/wanted to change but yeah I'm sure a lot of it now is her using stuff she learned to manipulate me. Because now if I say anything about her it's "At least I'm better than I used to be" which yeah ok. And usually led to me going "yes you've done a good job" but now I say "you did a good job and that's how I know you can do better" which never makes her happy and leads to whole new argument lmao
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Jul 18, 2019 13:43
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My mom definitely tried (& succeeded for a long time) to handicap me this way including not letting me get a permit to drive at 16, not letting me use her car at 18 when I did get a permit with money from my first job (which is where she used to work lol) and then (I'm not even sure this was an accident but) crashing my then bfs car soon after he let me start to use it to learn to drive. I also found out that the first time I moved out at 20, she was tracking my phone through our family plan. So she could know where I was throughout the day. I refuse to have a family plan to this day because of it and she still pesters me about it
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Jul 18, 2019 18:21
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Just live on the streets so you can be abused and victimized in a different way! Problem solved!
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Jul 18, 2019 18:25
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Literally A Person posted:I like this idea that not changing your situation is somehow better than changing your situation. I know how Detroit cops treat the homeless and all the shelters around here are just places to sleep and that's if you can get a space because they're often full. I also have a severe chronic pain disorder and know that pharmacies around here will straight up lie and tell you they're out of your meds and call the cops if you look a certain amount of disheveled even if you're there to pick up a legitimate script because of drug addicts. I also worked with a local group that did peer to peer counseling for low income people, many who used to be homeless or in a group home and the amount of rape was loving staggering. And I haven't even talked about the weather conditions here without shelter. So yeah I will take financial and emotional abuse over that.
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Jul 18, 2019 18:33
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Literally A Person posted:I mean, I'm not saying you can't have a place to go, just go running right into the streets. But seriously, exit is really the only choice whether in the short-term or the long-term if you plan on being independent and healthy at any point. I am working with a therapist to get out safely but I feel like you're really underestimating how many abused people end up isolated or just jumping from one abusive relationship to another. I jumped into an abusive relationship to escape and it was just a different kind of hell. I tried to crash on a friends couch once and was nearly sexually assaulted. Now I have friends I love and trust but I still won't do it because there's the little voice in the back of my head saying, ok they seem like a good person but you never really know until they gently caress you up. And I realize that's ptsd/trauma but intellectualizing it doesn't make it go away.
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Jul 18, 2019 19:09
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Oh man so tying into the creative thing I was talking about earlier, my mom gets mad if I buy her anything as a gift. I have to specifically make it. Her birthday is right around Mother's day so I used to usually just start working on both projects at least 2 months in advance. Eventually I started phoning it in and she never really noticed. This year for MD I went to the dollar store the week before and bought a vase, 2 kinds of potpourri and a ribbon. Poured in the potpourri, wrapped the ribbon around it and put a card on top. She loved it 😂😂
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Jul 18, 2019 19:30
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:when do you start giving her just straight up macaroni art I could probably legit glue a single piece of macaroni to a canvas and put it in a frame and say I'm having a minimalist phase and she would accept it at this point.
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Jul 18, 2019 20:33
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Interesting you mention that because my mom also mellowed out when she got a dog she could hold onto 24/7 instead of me. My mom is definitely a control freak due to ptsd from her abusive as gently caress childhood and to her credit I believe she wanted me to have a better childhood than she did and raised me the way she wanted to be raised but I wasn't the same kid. Also there's a poo poo ton I could unpack about my mom seeing me as an extension of herself for a long time and trying to make me her "Mini me" but that could be it's own thread tbh I will say she fought really hard to keep me away from the family pedos and though I did get sexually abused as a kid she definitely made sure to teach me about physical boundaries and bad touching really early. I did not heed her advice though now that I'm older I wish I had.
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Jul 19, 2019 16:09
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:Cutting off toxic family members, specifically my psychotic inlaws who faked a suicide attempt to try and make us look evil by tricking us into not calling 911, is so satisfying and I hope my mother-in-law is on that forum whining about us.
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Jul 20, 2019 21:49
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Minus the ace stuff and having a dad around, your mother was basically mine (especially the rage after talking to her and her saying "It was a long time ago, I had demons" etc) and even the loving CORNER. Jfc I'm so sorry Jane.
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Jul 21, 2019 15:09
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I like how she is "supporting a con artist" by reading a book she found one time Also iirc that book is from the 80s/early 90s and mental health has changed a lot since then. I personally know of a kid that had a similar experience to the book. I know that we want to think nobody is that evil, but yes people are that evil.
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Jul 21, 2019 17:32
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MasBrillante posted:Diff lady. Like 80% of the addicts I've known, including my dad, used drugs to self medicate the pain and psychological effects of their childhood trauma and I have almost no doubt her son was the same.
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Jul 25, 2019 11:48
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Dirt Road Junglist posted:Holy gently caress, threatens suicide to get back at her own daughter? That's...wow. Lol my mom used to do this all the time. One time I came home drunk at 22 and she pulled that card so I told her she threatened that too much and when I wanted to die I actually followed through on it and she was a coward, so she got real quiet, let me go to bed and proceeded to call the rest of our family in tears and told them I said she should kill herself. that was a fun time
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Aug 5, 2019 14:34
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LyonsLions posted:Jesus H Christ, that is horrifying. What the fuuuuuuuck!
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Aug 20, 2019 12:02
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quote:Born in October of 2000 – this handsome boy, 'Rick' was placed from India a year ago and is obedient and eager to please," one ad for a child read. Nope nothing sinister about writing about a child like an unwanted pet quote:Another parent advertised a child days after bringing her to America. "We adopted an 8-year-old girl from China… Unfortunately, We are now struggling having been home for 5 days." The parent asked that others share the ad "with anyone you think may be interested." 5 whole days!! Practically an eternity! gently caress all these people goddamn 
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Aug 20, 2019 12:06
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 11:00 |
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trickybiscuits posted:Didn't the wife in The Shining (the novel) have a terrible mother as well? It made her even more stuck with Jack, since she had no other family. Yeah Wendy's mom would fit right in with this thread. Iirc even after Jack died in Shining and Dr Sleep, she still never went back to her mother and leaned more on Dick Halloran (especially when it came to Danny) instead.
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Apr 29, 2020 06:09
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