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Pvt.Scott posted:Upstaging a pregnant woman at her party celebrating said pregnancy upset her? Truly, DIL’s reaction is baffling! Way earlier in this thread (I think. Might've been Issendai)there was a post that fundamentally boiled down to "my daughter in law who had a miscarriage is cutting me out of her life. Can't she see how much that hurts me, the person who lost their grandchild to a miscarriage?" Upstaging is just the name of the game to these people.
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Jan 16, 2020 01:05
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To an extend, I think it's also a kinda weird backlash from the Spotlight Effect run amuck. They assume everyone is watching and judging them all the time (My mother, who once insisted I lug a bag of trash through the house rather than use the front door because "we aren't hillbillies" being an example), so when someone agrees with them, they assume that it has the same devastating effect on you that someone agreeing with or judging you would have on them.
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Jan 22, 2020 15:15
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I always wondered what it would look like if Gene Ray, Cubic got into the meth.
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Jan 24, 2020 20:00
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catapede posted:Putting Grey Poupon on my sandwiches, sipping Starbucks out of the fancy china, while I gaze disdainfully at the peasants strolling along the path below my manor's balcony. Rejected parents asking people to "please pass the Jelly", like god-fearing folk.
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Feb 4, 2020 18:00
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Tunicate posted:saw this, thought of this thread "Parents: Do you have a have a creepy amount of access to your adult children's lives? Better use that to abusively bully them into having the right opinions!" Like, I have issues with how much access my mom has to my personal life sometimes, but I'd never imagine giving her access to the point that she can determine poo poo like this.
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Feb 14, 2020 17:31
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Pope Corky the IX posted:My father would tell me how lucky I have it that he doesn't beat the poo poo out of me the way his father would beat the poo poo out of him...while beating the poo poo out of me. The worst part of this is definitely that someone is, somehow, a die-hard Yankees fan. It's like rooting for the rich kid team in the Mighty Ducks; I'm sure it happens, but I can't imagine it. *Puts on his "Boston is best at everything" shirt and strides confidently to his death in the Bronx*
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Mar 16, 2020 16:15
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Random Words posted:and that these things need to be kept in the family, "What goes on in this house stays in this house" has probably enabled more abuse than most things. Having moved out and gotten out from under direct involvement with my mom, I've cooled on my seething dislike of her, though having some Honest Talks with my dad over christmas made me realize how much I missed when I was younger (which I'm pretty sure wasn't his intention, but whatever.)
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Feb 25, 2021 02:44
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At least she's consistent about her complete and total lack of boundaries in any way shape or form?
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Mar 9, 2021 17:49
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13Pandora13 posted:Your child should not ever be your "friend" until they are a mature adult themselves. You should not be relying on your child for emotional support, confiding in them, etc. - it's an inappropriate and abusive exploitation of a child. As a friend of mine likes to say, describing their experiences as a child, "Excuse me sir, that's my emotional support eldest child." BrigadierSensible posted:Also the second one has made me have a thought, which may be super obvious, so I am sorry if I am being trite. I don't even think it rises to that level. I think for a lot of these parents, their children aren't even to the level of fetish objects; they didn't have kids out of a genuine desire to raise an independent life from childhood to independence, to see a life blossom under their care. It wasn't even to the level of "Well, I can have something that will always love me no matter how I treat it, and something that will take care of me in my old age". It's "Well, Tim and Darline have a kid now, what, do they think they're better than me or something?. Gina, throw away the condoms, I'm raw dogging you every night until we have a kid too!" Kids to these people are a tick-box on a list, like owning a house or complaining about how downtown's gotten a little "dark" these days.
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Apr 15, 2021 18:50
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Deki posted:My mom treated my adhd diagnosis like being diagnosed as retarded (her wording). Having mad flashbacks to a partner I had in college who did that when she found out I had diagnosed ADHD. Probably should've been more of a clue as to what she was, frankly.
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May 4, 2021 15:24
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As written, she's not exactly the champion of compassion but she's not in the wrong. That said, live footage of the phrase "they never warmed up to me" in that sentence: 
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May 24, 2021 18:44
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Rutibex posted:yup i just got a furious email from her about "my posts on that forum". I'm hoping its not a goon cuz that would be seriously creepy and i want my mother to have paid $10 to read my posts I'm so ultra super glad that my mom and I, at the start of the social media era, both looked at each other and said "I'm not following you" at the same time.
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May 27, 2021 14:20
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The cruelty is the point, as it were.
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May 27, 2021 18:55
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Alice should absolutely be reprimanded, good intentions are irrelevent. Also, found this on Reddit, thought it was appropriate for this thread:  Ninja Edit: For mockery, of course, especially the line about "Biological property".
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May 31, 2021 14:53
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teen witch posted:I feel like I’m reading a stroke SovCit poo poo will do that to ya.
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May 31, 2021 15:10
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Literally A Person posted:Okay, you noticed too. I mean, I found it on /r/amibeingdetained, a sovcit mock sub, but yeah, CPS is a lesser-known but still common target amongst those types.
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May 31, 2021 15:52
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teen witch posted:Oh, oh this is a little GEM There's a whole network of weird-as-gently caress SovCit mock subs, /r/schizophreniarides is also pretty good (though I'm not a fan of the name). Also, JFC I must be on a roll today, this popped up in my feed, thought it wicked appropriate to (some versions of) the relationships in this thread: 
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May 31, 2021 17:30
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BrigadierSensible posted:So. Does the "biological property" belong to the parents, or the grandparents? MRAs, SovCits, and Rejected Parents venn diagram stacks on top of each other like a set of delicious pancakes.
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Jun 1, 2021 03:39
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kntfkr posted:YES. What the gently caress is DC and DD? Dead children, dead daughter, dead husband? I want to la chancla this woman in the face every time she does it. What a piece of poo poo. Dear. Dear Husband, Dear Daughter, etc.
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Jun 4, 2021 18:11
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My mom didn't want me to watch Ninja Turtles or play with toy guns until she realized it was inescapable one day when I bit my toast into a gun shape and went "bang, bang". She was also super not a fan of violent video games until I was old enough that she didn't really have to care. I remember thinking Doom was verboten until I was like.... 17.
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Jun 10, 2021 01:15
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Picnic Princess posted:I made the mistake of suggesting my mom invite me over whenever she wants when she complained I only visit on holidays. Apparently she wasn't supposed to be responsible, it was my job as the child. And the fact I didn't constantly ask to be invited over was a huge insult and proof I don't love anybody. She never verbalized any of resentment until our huge fight after years of her ignoring me intentionally to prove to herself how awful I am and how she's justified in pitying herself. My mom pulled this with texting when I lived at home and was away, and when I was in college. She would make a big to-do about how worried she was about me when I didn't text and keep contact. My counterpoint was perpetually "If you're worried, just text me", to which I got a variety of responses. "I don't want your friends thinking I'm a nag" They won't, and it's none of their business anyway. "I don't want to interrupt something" The beauty of texting is that it's asynchronous. "It shouldn't be my responsibility" And we get to the core of the issue: she wasn't worrying and didn't want me to check in, she just wanted to make sure that even when I was away from her she had a way to inject herself into my life.
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Jun 22, 2021 15:10
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Tarkus posted:It's so they can determine if the PTSD is 'valid' or not. Valid: IDK some warrior princeling who saw 14,000 members of his family decapitated and then bodyslammed Sadam's head off. Invalid: yours.
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Jun 23, 2021 14:22
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pentyne posted:what's the line about boomers and 'respect'? Something like they expect to be treated like the boss but expect to treat others like lesser subordinates "Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes to mean "treating someone like an authority" For some, "if you don't respect me, I won't respect you" means "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person""
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Jul 6, 2021 18:31
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I just got repeated mentions of "What goes on in this house stays in this house", which is a terrifying thing in retrospect.
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Jul 18, 2021 18:36
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Starting therapy has caused me to realize just the extent to which my mom pushed her bullshit on me and parentified me. Just working through the levels of shame I feel for the slightest thing is almost exhausting.
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Aug 15, 2021 22:56
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Picnic Princess posted:That question has been baffling me more and more as I've gotten older. My dad literally tried to murder my mom, and afterwards she pushed my sister and I into having a relationship with him. When her dad died maybe 6 years ago(?), she wanted to talk to me, and she told to reach out to mine and make amends so I 'wouldn't have any regrets'. I think it's biology. We tend to bond and desire bonds with the people who raised us from a young age. That said, just because it's  doesn't mean it's good. My biology tells me to eat 157 cookies a day and jerk off every hour instead of working. It's up to our higher functions to regulate what the lizard brain has access to.
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Aug 16, 2021 13:48
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Lieutenant Dan posted:I'm excited for you! Good luck in therapy! That sounds like either a beautiful heaven or a terrifying hell, and I'm not 100% sure which.
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Aug 16, 2021 16:28
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Anyone else have that moment where you're describing how your mom acted when you lived with her and then pause and realize you just described a cycle of abuse in different words? Gonna need a hot minute or two to process that one.
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Sep 7, 2021 14:14
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Imagined posted:I do think, though, if you're planning on having more than one kid, you should try to have what you plan to have (keyword: plan) as quickly as possible so they're close in age. There's no guarantee that siblings will even like each other, of course, but virtually no chance of a close peer relationship if they're more than 5 years apart. Plus once you're set up for and used to dealing with one baby having a second or third isn't 2X and 3X the difficulty. I know it's the dreaded pet analogy, but it's a bit like how owning two dogs isn't twice as hard as owning one. I'll say that my little brother and I (6 years apart) are closer now than when we were in school, but we're very different people, and it's almost like having two only children. We definitely had the "I hated him in high school but we reconciled as adults" timeline of events. I remember one time my mom hitting me; (I have to re-write this constantly, because even now my default perspective was "I was being a lovely 20something") she and I were having an argument, one of those screaming yelling ones, and she backed me up against the stairs and slapped me in the face so hard she broke my glasses. I remember distinctly that I didn't have insurance at the time and couldn't afford a new pair so we glued them back together; at several public events she had me take them off because they were "embarrassing". Jesus, that's the first time I've thought about that in... years. Maybe over a decade.
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Sep 18, 2021 18:56
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My wife's, the second-born in her family, is like that, as is my younger brother's.
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You ever have the moment/crisis where you wonder how much of your personality is you, and how much was cultivated to make life easier for one of your parents?
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Sep 21, 2021 17:48
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hallo spacedog posted:I also had this horrible realization of being like a bonsai tree, trimmed and stunted in growth, for my parents convenience, a few years back. I'm still trying to figure out which parts are hosed up and fix them little by little. That's hauntingly accurate.
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Sep 21, 2021 20:14
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quote:[...] your suggestion that [fiance] and I should think of it as our child since we're women and can't have one of our own easily is simply gross.  Good on your cousin for not getting drawn into a spiral of bullshit.
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Sep 24, 2021 14:19
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hallo spacedog posted:Thing is I guarantee her daughter was not manipulative and needy, but just a normal child. As we observe over in the Boomer Hate thread, a lot of people have kids cus it's the expected thing to do, like voting, or paying taxes, or disliking when brown people move into your town.
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Sep 29, 2021 01:32
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mllaneza posted:Gonna need a link to that. Beachcomber posted:Hello, I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. I'll leave it here, along with the Nextdoor thread, which is ALSO more or less a Boomer hate-thread: Does Generation X even exist Is it even real? thread What the gently caress is up with Nextdoor? Lieutenant Dan posted:Here's a question for the thread: How come this kind of parent ends up apoplectically angry when others decide not to have children? Like they're angry other people won't have to "go through what they did". teen witch posted:sort of tangentially related but I’ve been mulling it over: what is it with people and this “I suffered with x, now you gotta” mentality? like, no desire to improve for the future but to instead continue a cycle of lovely things. Spite, and an internalized belief that suffering is good and makes you stronger. Which loops into Kids These Days, who are Too Soft, not like me, who has no ability to conceive of the existence of opinions outside a center-right regulated capitalism. Neito fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Sep 29, 2021 |
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Sep 29, 2021 17:20
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There's levels of manipulation and codependence in there I can't even begin to unravel. It's like watching a train crash into a plane crash into a car crash into a boat over a pit of lava.
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Oct 1, 2021 17:39
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Lieutenant Dan posted:My mom's the same way! Even with stuff that has multiple witnesses, photo evidence, my dad saying "well I was there it DID happen", she just repeats and repeats "no it didn't, I don't know why you would make things up" and getting very very angry. She'd just shout that it never happened until you gave up. He might've copy-pasted from something your mother wrote. Speaking of, I talked with my dad the other day over lunch and god is it freeing to hear him express some of the same concerns I have over my mom. It's just... It's nice to not be stewing in your ideas alone, you know?
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Oct 5, 2021 20:10
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WaywardWoodwose posted:Another was so offended at someone having plantation wedding that she loudly proclaimed all over facebook how horrible that was and that she wasn't going, but she didn't post it to her page, just on the pages of the five or six black ladies she knew from work. One of em called her out on it and she made it a whole thing. Lemme guess, about how ungrateful people are and how she was just trying to do THE RIGHT THING but etc etc etc?
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Oct 9, 2021 01:42
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I got a copy via the author myself (PM me if you want a copy)SCHOPPE-SULLIVAN, et al posted:Data were drawn from the Understanding Interesting that this confirmed my suspicion that a significant amount of estranged parents are white, though that may be a bias of the methodology (had to speak english, survey was online, etc) For this group, this table is probably the biggest thing that would be seen as important:  Seems other spouses are a problem for estranged mothers.
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Oct 12, 2021 15:08
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"I moved on, and you're just an extension of me, so you moved on too!" is some loving nutso thinking, but is clearly what is going on here. Also, any time anyone says "<Specific type of> Family comes before anything", they're being an rear end in a top hat.
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Oct 13, 2021 14:50
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Panfilo posted:Human trafficking maybe? Interesting, because trafficing is real and does happen, but nobody's looking to traffic Shela and her three pugs from 1337 Who Gives A poo poo Street.
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Oct 20, 2021 20:03
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