Rejected Parents: if you can't figure it out you don't deserve a blog

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Rejected Parents: if you can't figure it out you don't deserve a blog

«‹›6 »

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

New to the thread.

I haven't voluntarily spoken to my parents, or my 3 flying monkey siblings, in 9 years. My mother has undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and has literally no friends, outside of her siblings who are now starting to die off one by one. My father let her abuse their children because he wasn't the target as long as we were in her line of sight.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2020 03:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 00:11

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Basically what Pope Corky said. I'm unsure if there's a name for what you suggested though. Thankfully it hasn't happened where my new phone number (changed it when I went No Contact in 2011) has been given to my parents, but it's a possibility I fear.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2020 23:45

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Picnic Princess posted:

My uncle attempted to get my Alzheimer's-ridden grandfather to change his will to get way more than he deserved, fortunately any changes had to be approved by my mother at that point becaise she had control over his estate and she put a stop to it.

My aunt had also been written out of my grandmothers will and she only found out after the death and freaked out and cried over it. Ripped up the will, which was a photocopy my mother had made because she expected it.

I've started going to therapy and I'm getting a whole lotta shocked reactions out of her because my stories are loving insane. I really ought to write my life story out, it's been so crazy and somehow I'm still alive and kind of thriving. More than you'd expect someone who had my childhood would be, anyway.

You know when your therapist gives you the :stare:

look because you told them something you hitherto considered COMPLETELY loving NORMAL AND REGULAR BEHAVIOUR then you're gonna be alright.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 19:30

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Many abusive parents insist on being joint owners of kids banking accounts. Up there with installing location trackers as a tool of abuse.

Along with:
-installing nanny-cams in various points around the house,
-insisting on their adult child texting them every 30-45 minutes when they go out, even during the daytime,
-"allowing" their young or teenage child to be friends with people they approve of, and policing their social media, phone calls and texts to make sure they're not conversing with people that didn't get their express approval,

or in the example of my own mother
-waiting until their child has reached the age where they're going to start going out socially without them, then uprooting the entire family from a suburb with bus routes and accessible friends and social spots, to the cripplingly isolated countryside where the child now has no friends and no escape without the parent's ability to drive them somewhere.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 20:58

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Boywhiz88 posted:

What�s so funny to me is that if it�s the parent busting their rear end to have money for college, why would they be opposed to debt relief?!! It gets them off the hook or keeps their kid from spending half their paycheck on loans. It�s sooooo dumb.

L E V E R A G E

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 20:59

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Picnic Princess posted:

Yeah, one of my moments was "my dad wasn't around because he was sometimes in jail or living on the street."

"He was in jail?"

"Yeah, once it was for trying to stab my mom. I saw it happen. I was 8."

Got that look when I casually mentioned during my third session with my psychotherapist that my eldest brother was taken into foster care when I was 7 because my dad tried to kill him.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 22:23

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Krispy Wafer posted:

Whatever happened to people clutching their chests and being dead before they hit the ground. The Greatest Generation knew how to exit this mortal coil. Boomers just linger.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2020 15:42

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

BrigadierSensible posted:

poo poo like this makes me wonder if I am an Evil Estranged Son. Coz I don't talk to my parents often, (I live in a different continent to them, and we have a 10 minute conversation over the phone every month or so, whist remaining in contact via Facebook nonsense). I am happy with this arrangement, the phonecalls are pleasant enough, and everything seems cool. But what if my mum and dad are doing all the seething and pouting this woman is doing behind my back?

I often wonder that myself since I haven't made any attempts to contact my parents or siblings since 2011. My rear end in a top hat parents always joked that my eldest brother was the child they were going to end up losing contact with, since he was always the emotionally distant one (makes sense what with him being taken into foster care when he was 15 after my dad threatened to kill him), but he always went to them to bail him out of whatever stupid lovely situation he'd gotten himself into, which is something I just never did. When things went wrong for me, I rolled with the punches and was made to feel like poo poo for not talking to them about it. If I did talk to them about stuff, they'd shout at me about how much of a gently caress-up I was so I stopped telling them anything, unlike him.

Now he's their golden child because he gave them a granddaughter, and I'm the Evil Estranged Child, and they don't understand why.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 21:03

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

quote posted:

I wanted to ask any of you who have AC that are not estranged � what is a normal relationship with an adult child like? How often are you in touch? Do they visit often? Do they reply to messages and calls within a reasonable time? How does it differ from the behaviour of the estranged AC (if that�s not a really obvious question!)

I�m at the stage with my AC that I feel almost completely excluded from his life �but not quite, and I�m finding it hard to know whether I can call it estrangement. He hardly ever calls (two or three times in the last year) but last time he called, he talked for an hour. He hasn�t visited in over a year but I�m sure that if he decided to visit, he would expect a warm welcome. I�m also sure that if anyone told him that I consider us to be almost estranged he�d be shocked (and probably angry). Is this estrangement? Or do your non-estranged kids do this kind of thing too? I think I probably know the answer but it would be great to hear about your good experiences with your AC. I hope it�ll help me figure out what�s going on in what�s left of my family. Thanks in advance!

If there are any AC left that parents like this are still in contact with, then it's either fractured because the AC who's FUBAR hasn't worked out how to cut off contact with them yet, or is in a situation where they simply can't but have forced a communicative distance for their own sanity, OR...the AC that are still in contact are the golden children who maintain way above average contact with the parents. We're talking multiple phone calls a day, visiting pretty much every day even if they're not living or working nearby.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2020 00:24

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

Gilmore Girls fans are bugfuck crazy a large majority of the time so that tracks

My sister, currently in her mid 40's, unmarried with no children or boyfriend or even pets, loves the Gilmore Girls, and is essentially my mother's loving shadow.

Ironically my sister once told me she hates dogs because she can't respect a creature that indulges in blind loyalty. If I'd have held a mirror right in front of her face as she said it she wouldn't have realised how loving stupid she sounded.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2020 21:33

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Tin Can Hit Man posted:

To clarify, I don't think it's impossible or unhealthy to develop a friendship with your kids.

It's a parents imposition and expectation of a friendship that makes it screwy. The forced nature of it automatically makes it not a real friendship.

It's not a friendship, it's a hostage situation.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 02:52

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Sisal Two-Step posted:

My daughter asked for time and space and I didn't give it to her because ~my feelings~ and now she won't talk to me!!!!!!!! Can't she see how much she's hurting me I'm sad I have depression me me me me meeeeee.

these people are addicted to being victims

i'm editing this post to add this one too because i'm fascinated by that small glimmer of self-awareness and apparent responsibility-taking. there might be hope for this one?

It's par for the course for lovely parents to use an event to elicit sympathy from others who aren't familiar with the situation with their kids. This type of poo poo will get worse as the parent gets older as well: if they start getting sick as they age, they'll use it as a tool to gain sympathy from people, telling others how their evil heartless child won't even talk to them when they're (probably not actually) dying. This parent is most likely telling anyone who'll listen how horrible their daughter is for doing the bare minimum expected of them by showing up to her uncle's memorial service and not talking to her father/mother.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 18:12

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

AuntBuck posted:

Narcissist parents' focus is on how they look and not on how they hosed up or fixing their horrible behavior.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2020 01:13

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Rockbear posted:

When my ES Deklynne was 5, we were at a family gathering, and my sister suggested that we let all the kids play with crayons while the adults socialized. Innocent enough, I thought.

A half hour later, ES runs up to me and hands me a picture that he's drawn. It's a crude drawing of two persons, one peach colored and the other blue.

"Look, mommy, I drew you and Sonic!"

The words were like a dagger in my heart. It had been in the news all week. Sega had declared bankruptcy. And now, my ES was associating me with their mascot.

The message was obvious. "Mother, I see you as a failure. You will never be successful. Everything you do will fall to pieces. Shenmue is overrated."

The other adults in the room pretended not to notice this mortifying insult, out of politeness, but they all grew awkward and quiet. My ES looked at me, feigning confusion as my hot tears hit the paper.

I'll never forget the sinister look in his eyes as he said, "What's wrong, mommy? Don't you like Sonic?"

When ES ignores my texts and calls, when he sends back my gifts, I think back to that day. I should have known then that his heart was wicked. I should have had the strength to stand up for myself against his abusive, gaslighting behavior.

I know better now. I understand my worth. It's hard but I get better every day.

Thanks for listening, everyone. This message board has been such a good support system. Anyway, it's lent, so I gotta go fast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR7jm-MU5Bk

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 13:54

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

I'm gonna feel dumb for asking, but what does ES stand for?

Estranged Son. EC, when you inevitably encounter it in these posts, means Estranged Children which is an even bigger alarm bell.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 14:50

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Picnic Princess posted:

I fuckin LOVE this holy poo poo. The only difference is I bought my mom fancy chocolates and it apparently meant I was telling her she was fat

Flawless execution 10/10

I stopped putting any thought into gifts for my mother long ago because she is the re-gifter type. If I bought her something for Christmas or her birthday she'd give it to someone else for their birthday or Christmas. In 2006, her aunt bought her a lovely cameo pendant necklace as a thank-you gift for letting her and her husband stay with them for the holidays; on Christmas Day (2 days later) she gave it to me as a Christmas present.

This said two things to me:

1. She hated the necklace and pawned it off on me instead of just putting it away somewhere, and
2. She either couldn't have been bothered to get me a Christmas gift ahead of time or had forgotten about me and was too proud to admit it, so she just gave me the necklace in the hope that neither I or my aunt would notice (which we both did).

Poo In An Alleyway fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Feb 29, 2020

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 16:52

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Rockbear posted:

I've never claimed to be perfect, but sometimes the way that my ES treats me is just overwhelming and I can't help but react.

Yesterday ES and I were having our weekly Sunday lunch at Olive Garden, and maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but I feel like I need to finally stand up for myself.

I said, "Sonic the Hedgehog did $40 million its opening weekend."

"Oh yeah? That's nice," my ES said.

I waited a few moments, and when he didn't say anything, I prompted "I think you owe somebody an apology."

"Uh, what?" He pretended to have no idea what I was talking about. Just like his father.

"You know, I've worked really hard to change, just like they changed Sonic to appeal to everyone. And everyone else is appreciating how Sonic changed, and spending all this money on him, and after what you did to me I would think you would at least compare me to Sonic now that it's a favorable comparison! But no! No, you just sit there!"

Again, pretending like I'm the problem. He just says, "Mom, you're scaring the baby."

So I finally stood up for myself! I stood up, put on my coat, and said "Shenmue's only sin was being ahead of its time, Deklynne!" And I walked out!

It felt so good to finally make them feel the way I've been feeling. No more getting walked over! I'm done with it! This is the new Karen!

General Bullshit > Rejected Parents: Shenmue's only sin was being ahead of its time, Deklynne!

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 14:28

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

jemand posted:

Going to guess the emotional priorities that ranks temporary estrangement from sexual molesters as one of the big sacrifices of parenthood, an action which was not worth it ultimately because the adult child doesn't constantly and performatively display gratitude for such deep sacrifice, is at the heart of this estrangement.

And this person will never figure that out. I think this is common. Someone survives severe and deep abuse, but remains quite broken and refuses therapy. Then they raise slightly less abused and broken children who are capable of having boundaries. Since the broken mother cannot have boundaries and doesn't really understand them, this explodes until estrangement occurs.

It's really sad. They did better than their parents but not well enough to cut the cycle of abuse in one generation.

This is one of the main reasons I'm happy to remain a biological cul-de-sac. I can't be the mother I didn't have, I know I'm not capable of it, and never will be, even with hours of therapy already behind me and more to come. I'm never going to be capable of ending the abuse cycle while raising a family; I know that some of the worst aspects of my mother will end up coming out of me if I had children, and I'll end up hurting them like she hurt me.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 15:27

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

AuntBuck posted:

I feel bad for all the bingo ladies about to be stuck with her on a bus for hours.

I feel bad for the two fuckbuckets that were stupid/lonely/horny enough to marry her.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 00:35

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Picnic Princess posted:

Not having to deal with them treating me like poo poo has been wonderful. Amazing. It was great not being called stupid and disappointing for a while. I'd rather keep that up.

The peace and quiet you're met with when you cut them out is shocking and amazingly refreshing, isn't it? I changed my phone number in 2011 and never looked back. I hated being at my bitch mother's constant beck and call, and got sick of her treatment towards me when I did answer her calls.

Ignore her messages, block her number, consider changing your number if that's possible. Phone company will almost certainly charge you for it but it's only a one-off fee that pays for itself in the relief of knowing you'll never have to answer the phone to her ever again.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2020 00:24

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

It appears that my own mother is on the warpath again. I got the following Facebook message from one of my cousins yesterday:

quote:

Hey PooInAnAlleyway please don't shoot the messenger I just had your mom on the phone completely out of the blue and she asked me to make contact with you she and your dad are worried about you as they haven't seen you in so long and if you needed anything like money or anything or even to come home etc etc again I was completely taken aback by the call and dont want to be in the middle but said I'd pass the message on. I have her number again don't shoot me and I understand if your raging I didn't know what was the right thing to do

An unforeseen side-effect of the current world situation: narc parents using it an a flimsy excuse to re-initiate contact with no-contact children because 'we have to take care of each other or something'. This is absolutely the case with my bitch mother, and worse again, pulling my cousin into it when she has nothing to do with it, and wants nothing to do with it.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2020 21:17

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

HelloIAmYourHeart posted:

So now that we're fully into quarantine hell, do any of you who are brave enough to stare into the abyss have anything to post? (I am not brave enough)

Thankfully there's been no more word from my cousin about my Narc mom contacting her. Hopefully that'll be the end of it (it won't be, I know what she's like).

# ¿ Apr 7, 2020 16:06

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Picnic Princess posted:

My parents were forced to get married after my mom got pregnant via her weed dealer on purpose at 17 along with a couple of her friends who wanted their kids to grow up together just like they did, but my mom's parents were Catholic and refused to have a daughter give birth out of wedlock and could use the fact my dad was a drug dealer to minors as collatoral to force him to marry her. My childhood was really not good as a result. They stayed together in a brutally abusive relationship for 8 years until he tried to stab her one night and only didn't because I came out of my bedroom because of the yelling and smashing and screaming and he didn't want to kill anyone in front of a kid.

Happy Tuesday everybody! My insomnia is bad these days.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2020 16:00

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

skewetoo posted:

I can't get over just how irreparably damaged growing up with them has left me. I mean, I could have been a completely different person. Instead I'm instilled with a litany of mental, emotional, and physical problems. I still can't get over it. It's such neverending and potent toxic poison.

It's honestly heartbreaking to think about this, even for a brief moment. You look around at others your age, or even older or younger people, and you see how relaxed and well-adjusted and not even slightly guarded or paranoid or internally self-destructive they've ended up being, all because the right people hosed each other, had them and then raised them to be normal functional adults with independent goals and concerns, rather than broken husks, and it loving hurts to think about all the possibilities that have been snuffed out of your life, all the people you could've been friends with, all the opportunities for travel or love or employment or education or just general fun that you've lost because your mother/father decided they were gonna have a kid for the sole purpose of having someone take care of them when they're a human raisin with even less to offer the planet than before.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2020 21:28

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

ElGroucho posted:

I sympathize with people with boomer-rear end parents, but I also assume anyone who uses all those stupid DD, DH acronyms on Reddit is a loving loser

I personally prefer them because I'd hate for people to think of my mother as a mother in the way that smelly well-adjusted normal people mean it. Also calling her by her name humanises her when she's done nothing to deserve it.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2020 12:57

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

quote:

We have done nothing but love her and try to support her but any reason she gets she will get mad at us and stop talking to us. Something as simple as me commenting on her friend�s Facebook post.

Why the gently caress is she commenting on her daughter's friends' Facebook posts in the first place? Your family and your friends are two separate worlds that should never loving cross. I would suspect there's more to that story tbh, something along the lines of her mother snooping through her friend's profile for something to use against her daughter. There's almost certainly more that she's not saying, but as usual with Narc fucknuggets the truth is a bad thing for them.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2020 23:34

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

I don't remember when I realised this as well, but at some point I just stopped talking to my mother, and eventually my sister, about whatever interesting or exciting projects or things I was working on in high school, or whatever films or TV shows I really enjoyed, because both she and my sister would make no secret of how disinterested they were in anything I liked, but I had to pay as much attention to their projects or interests as possible and take part in whatever poo poo they were into. If you asked my mother today what I'm actually interested in, even after almost 10 years of no contact, she'll probably swear blind that I love Jasper Conran Wedgewood antiques, the thing that she and my sister are avid collectors of, and that I have less than zero interest in.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2020 21:48

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Preechr posted:

I don�t think my wife�s family even knows we�re married. It�s been more than 6 years and they weren�t invited.

My fiance and I will be getting married sometime later this year, or possibly early next year (it was supposed to be August but, y'know, corona-chan). The only people invited on my side are my best friend, his fiancee and their three small children.

My parents and siblings will not be informed or invited. They don't know I'm engaged. They don't even know his name or anything concrete about him. For all they know, he might not even exist. They'll never meet him, unless by accident if they bump into us somewhere. He's done nothing to deserve being in their utterly intolerable presence.

# ¿ May 8, 2020 23:31

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

quote:

when she made it known to me, I repeatedly apologized, no ifs, ands, or buts. Wasn�t good enough. She dismissed them all and then said I never apologized, despite one of them even being in writing she claimed it didn�t contain an apology. It�s clearly there, in writing. It�s not even up for interpretation. It�s a full on apology � no ifs, ands, or buts.

People like this are not capable of genuinely apologising in the way that most people think of apologies. I would wager that the apology this woman offered her daughter was something like

-"I'm sorry you feel that way"
-"I'm sorry you think I did that"
-"I'm sorry if I made you feel bad"
-"If I did that it was wrong"
-"I'm sorry, but I there's nothing I can do about it"
-"I'm sorry I made you feel clumsy, stupid and disgusting"
-"I'm sorry but it was just a joke. You're so over-sensitive"
-"I'm sorry that my own child feels she has to upset me and make me feel bad."

# ¿ May 10, 2020 14:16

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Kind of ironic given their kids usually learn to convincingly insincerely apologise as a survival skill.

And then we spend our entire lives worrying that we sound insincere to people we want to be sincere with. Yay for broken brains!

# ¿ May 10, 2020 16:10

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

It's not Mother's Day here in Europe (it happened in March for some reason), so I had no idea what the last couple of posts about today being tough were referencing for a good hour. How are people in the thread holding up?

# ¿ May 10, 2020 16:44

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

number 1 snake fan posted:

I really hope everyone in here gets the chance to have a therapist that will actually listen and be supportive like she is, she's the first one i haven't chafed against bc she actually treats me like a person instead of a wounded animal.

I've somehow been very fortunate with the two therapists I've spoken to about my family situation. They were both very understanding as soon as I explained my mother's behaviour and my father and siblings' complacency. They didn't try to convince me that I should open up a dialogue with my family or that 'family is important' or any of that horsecock.

# ¿ May 12, 2020 02:08

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

teen witch posted:

Regarding the continuation of lovely behavior, honestly it�s a split. Y�know how you get those types that pontificate �my parents hit me as a child and I was fine!� and you immediately know that dear god they�re anything but? That frightens me. That cycle doesn�t stop until someone monkeywrenches it to a halt, and that takes strength. Unlearning unhealthy behaviors feels like writing with your non dominant hand when your dominant hand wants to strangle you throughout.

The monkeywrench for me is to just not have children at all. I've had a few people ask me and my fiance when we're gonna start a family, and very thankfully he's also not inclined to feel like he desperately needs to continue his DNA. Being a biological cul-de-sac is the absolute best way to ensure that the pattern of lovely child-rearing is stopped dead in its tracks, but I also get fully that there are people here who still want to have kids, or already have kids at this point in time, and are unsure of how to be the parent who's actually an adult rather than simply a tall child throwing an eternal egotistical strop.

It's incredibly difficult to give what you didn't get yourself growing up.

# ¿ May 12, 2020 19:35

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Wicker Man posted:

lovely domineering parents that you have to do everything in your power to make sure they stay happy and not explode again into another tantrum acts as the breeding ground for people pleasers. According to my therapist there's nothing wrong with developing this or it's not something you should really lament having as long as you know how to keep it from making you a doormat.

About 6 months ago I got burned badly by a person I was basically best friends with for 4 years. I did a poo poo-ton of work to help him out with his music career, doing video editing, promotion, getting him interviews on some of my other friends' radio shows to promote whatever album or EP he had out at the time, graphic design work etc. I even ran his loving Facebook business page because he claimed he didn't know how to do it. I bent over backwards for him, I saw him as the kid brother I never had, and I thought he appreciated all the poo poo I was doing for him. Then he hosed me over badly, I called him out on his behaviour and he blocked me on everything. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, the whole lot. Just dropped me like a sack of poo poo.

A couple of days after it happened, I had my regular psychiatrist appointment and spoke about it because my whole mood and demeanour had taken such a drastic shift since my previous appointment and it wasn't going to go unchecked. After I explained the whole thing to him, he said probably the most important thing anyone has ever said to me:

'Please don't let this change you. You care a lot about people, and you cared about him a lot, and he took advantage of that, but please don't let that change you. Don't let it change how you care about other people in the future. Don't let it harden you so that you don't care about people or things anymore.'

# ¿ May 12, 2020 20:16

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

quote:

She may have made the decision to walk away from us, I made the decision to honor her choice.

But she didn't; by remaining in contact with her son-in-law she's not leaving her daughter alone. She's trying to go over her daughter's head in order to be in her daughter's children's lives, so she's clearly not listening to her daughter's requests. By making the son-in-law the go-to contact, it makes her daughter looks possessive and insane to anyone listening to the mother's view of things.

# ¿ May 18, 2020 02:02

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

chaser lowtax posted:

they both suck pretty bad, if you read what i wrote they gave me the ptsd i talked about :/

i do feel like i look great. im young and im happy and it shows and im pretty and i like it a lot. ive been hella fortunate, i was bald last june, this is my bed head now:

This is a glow-up if I've ever seen one.

chaser lowtax posted:

one of the nicest things that i only notice sometimes but it feels good when i do is that i dont see a young skinny version of my dad in the mirror anymore

This is something I wrestle with as well, the fact that I'll always look in the mirror and see my mother's Wicked Witch nose sticking out of the centre of my abnormally round head and deathly pale moon face. Since I was a child I've wanted to have a rhinoplasty so that I'm not always reminded of the monster I'm involuntarily related to.

# ¿ May 21, 2020 20:30

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

Tunicate posted:

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-52758787

one of them just lost a court case about posting grandkid pics on facebook

That's gonna be an awkward Christmas dinner.

# ¿ May 22, 2020 01:55

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

shame on an IGA posted:

My dad is dead and everything is better now

Fantastic news. Also appreciate the Bojack Horseman reference.

# ¿ May 27, 2020 01:21

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

bad posts ahead!!! posted:

i got diagnosed with bipolar somewhat recently and holy gently caress did that clear a lot of things up...

I got diagnosed with bipolar 2 in July last year! Bipolar Buddies! awkward sterile high-five

# ¿ May 28, 2020 01:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 00:11

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

bad posts ahead!!! posted:

so are you getting the sudden flashes of �holy gently caress, so that�s what happened back then�, too? all this completely textbook poo poo has been going on since i was a child, and none of the shrinks i�ve seen realized what was happening, until a few months ago

Exactly THIS.

As soon as he said the words 'bipolar 2', a sense of weird relief washed over me, as if after 31 years I finally found a term that my broken brain could actually be attached to. I had been previously (mis?)diagnosed with depression at 22 after a failed suicide attempt, and it's much harder to do concrete research into managing your own particular branch of depression when, and I'm aware this could come off quite badly, it seems like everyone and their mother has depression, like it's somehow the 'in' thing like gluten intolerance, and every Buzzfeed-esque clickbait article that Google throws at you about managing depression is so base-level, contrived and full of dozens of clueless talking heads telling you to 'just go for a walk', that it's incredibly difficult and frustrating to find a genuinely helpful article about how you manage it when your energy levels for bullshit are zero, there's nobody to talk to about it because so many people self-diagnose and have no loving clue what you're talking about, and every medication you try either makes your mood bounce around like a fly while having horrendous nightmares when you can eventually get to sleep, or it makes you completely apathetic and you hair starts falling out.

With a concrete diagnosis of something that's cohesively documented and not buzzword-y, Googling it basically nuked every lovely clickbait article and just tells you straight facts about it. Suddenly the thing in your brain that you've been struggling to live with for so long is not as nearly complex as you previously thought; you just had no real solid idea how to work with it until that moment. Similar to what you said about the sudden flashes of realising this behaviour or that reaction now has a medical explanation, it's made me think about my reactions to different situations over the years and how stupidly impulsive I had been in different situations and with different people and events. Realizing that I can stop that now that I know how to do so is the most relieving thing to suddenly discover.

# ¿ May 28, 2020 13:04

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Rejected Parents: if you can't figure it out you don't deserve a blog

«‹›6 »