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ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Give your mom a good solid stone cold stunner next time it happens

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ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

just gonna drop my stone cold stunner suggestion in here again incase you missed it

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

i dropped out of college to move out of a toxic household and NO RAGRETS

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

The Slack Lagoon posted:

Hi everyone long time reader first time poster :)

So I tried talking to my parents about some stuff back in December (e.g. respect the boundaries I set) and they did not respond well so I went no contact. They showed up at my house in February to 'make sure I was alive' and my mom told me how she was having to drink herself to sleep because she was so sad I wasn't talking to her.

Anyway, I tried talking to them again and reiterated my need for boundaries to be respected and was told "we were raised as methodists and believe 'honor your mother and father' and we feel disrespected. I'm not sure they're really interested in having a relationship built on mutual respect.

Any advice?

Buy your mom a nice bottle of wine and tell them you're going back to no contact.

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

trickybiscuits posted:

This comment has the usual level of delusion but there's also so much projection that the commenter is basically describing the situation in reverse: her daughter has moved on and the commenter has spent the past year-plus with this eating away at her and her life not so perfect as she wants to believe, as her other comments reveal.

lmao, "every time they see a happy family they are reminded of what they don't have. they are the miserable ones!!"



*quick cut to daughter having the time of their life, riding rollercoasters, eating pizza and having a healthy relationship with their spouse unburdened by family drama*




practically loving nobody who cuts toxic people out of their live ever goes on to regret it in the slightest. every time they see YOU they are reminded of what they don't have. they are better off not even remembering that you ever existed!!

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Oh boy mother's Day time to act like her alcoholism and neglect didn't result in her kids getting molested by a sexual predator, a fact she remains completely unaware of over 15 years later.

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Clark Nova posted:

They did what KFC did - the name is officially just the acronym and "TLC" doesn't actually stand for anything
it now stands for Touching Little Children

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

ElHuevoGrande posted:

Just lol on the gender stuff. My mom is deeply, deeply offended that her oldest daughter turned out to be a butch lesbian. Up until around 30, every time I came home I would get the "you could be so pretty if you tried." And "Lets get you a nice dress for [EVENT]." Then eventually she tapered off into passive aggressive "I guess you just don't care how you look." If that woman only knew how much $$$ I've blown on bespoke suits. . .well she'd have something else to feel aggrieved and superior over.

The answer turned out to be working on my relationship with my 4 siblings. The last time she tried to shame me (over my wallet, of all things), I just narrowed my eyes and called her the heteronormative gender police. She tried again so I said it again. Then one of my brothers repeated it. Then ALL of my brothers started banging on the kitchen table, chanting HETERONORMATIVE GENDER POLICE until she threw her hands up and literally fled the room. It's one of the best memories of my life, and she has never mentioned my gender presentation again.

Lmao that's good stuff

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Sucks for rutibex (as much as your own mom saying "hey I read all those things you wrote about how much I suck rear end" can suck) but it's definitely very funny that there are some rejected parents out there trolling the web for evidence their children don't like them.

Like you're basically going to die alone because of how bad you suck and you spend your time looking for evidence of the people that know you best talking about how bad you suck. Like that's going to get you unestranged from those very people or something.


Lmfao, die alone, and hurry it up please

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Anne Whateley posted:

I don't think that's what happened? I imagine their referrer logs showed a ton of hits coming from this thread, they came to see what it was, and got mad there was a thread created to make fun of them

Regardless of the little details, it's very funny that the estranged parents are getting a glimpse at how their children talk about them when they're not around and they're mad at it.

"Oh wow can't believe my OWN SON who cut me out of his life because (his words) I don't respect his privacy or self-determination is telling people that I don't respect his privacy or self-determination?? What the hell?"

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Rutibex posted:

yes yes it does:

Imo the paywall is really the flimsiest layer of security and if you don't think plenty of people will cough up the 10 bucks to get past it, or at least have someone else reporting on whats being posted... Lol.

I mean we should take their money either way but it is absolutely no guarantee that your posts will remain private. You should assume anyone could read your posts at any time and avoid identifying information or usernames if that matters to you.


Also your mom sounds exactly like someone who is estranged for valid reasons so lmao that she's big mad. I hope someone reports this back to her and the rest of that forum: leave your son or daughter alone and drop dead already. Stop prolonging the inevitable.


I would also generally advise against playing into their bullshit. Don't interact with your parents if you don't want to, no matter what they say to get you to respond. Most of all, they want to suck you back into their stupid game. Continue ignoring them unless it's unavoidable, you don't owe them a god drat thing.

ben shapino fucked around with this message at 16:40 on May 27, 2021

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Deki posted:

Hello visiting RP friends. It's not that hard to not estrange your kids lmao.

My mom had a legitimately abusive childhood that caused her to have legitimate anger issues, and while she can be a bit much some times, we still have a decent relationship because she has worked on bettering herself, isn't a raging narcissist, and has been willing to admit fault.

We're even taking the kid out to see her this weekend. It's gonna be fun, family times! 😁

Ok but have you considered that I cannot possibly be even the slightest bit at fault for people wanting nothing to do with me? Huh?? By the way please tell my son "parentstomper58" that we will set a place for him at the table this Thanksgiving incase he wants to apologize for how he's treated us and come have a nice supper.

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Again, just to make sure it's perfectly clear: if your children have cut you out of their life, it's almost certainly because you have failed spectacularly as a parent. It eats you up inside because you know they're right even though your ego doesn't allow you to admit it. What should have been your proudest achievement in life is actually your single biggest source of shame and it's your own drat fault. Get busy dying, your life is basically over and nobody is going to miss you.

Not only does nobody need you, but nobody even wants you. Take the hint.

ben shapino fucked around with this message at 16:56 on May 27, 2021

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

life is killing me posted:

Okay I’m glad we can assume everyone itt aside from the Infiltrating Parents realizes probably how absolutely loving bonkers this is.

Who the gently caress cyber-stalks their adult children to a forum and pays $10 just to be mad?

Like, not even my dad would do this I think (?)

People with personality disorders and major brain problems, that's who (coincidentally, the people statistically most likely to have their own children tell them to gently caress off forever!)

ben shapino fucked around with this message at 17:07 on May 27, 2021

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

nishi koichi posted:

i don't think you should be messing with stuff like this

give me a "rutibex's mom is a piece of poo poo who will die alone and it's nobody's fault except hers" gang tag plz

ben shapino fucked around with this message at 17:20 on May 27, 2021

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

unless i'm mistaken, rutibex hasn't even really posted about their mom in this thread that much, so someone (probably her) is seriously going out of their way to keep tabs on what's being said and getting really mad about it. the fact that she immediately tries to shame him about it without realizing it just makes her look even loving crazier to literally everyone here is just a cherry on the poo poo sundae.


it's both extremely funny and pathetic at the same time. lol

ben shapino fucked around with this message at 17:31 on May 27, 2021

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

thinking about how in the future, multiple people will randomly think to themselves "drat, rutibex's mom really was a crazy piece of poo poo" when they're busy doing non-forums stuff

it's just a proven fact now that our brain will occasionally remind us of completely unprompted

and it's 100% her fault.

lmao

ben shapino fucked around with this message at 17:43 on May 27, 2021

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

AND you know she's gonna read these posts with her internal monologue going "they don't know what they're talking about!!! he has poisoned them against me with vicious lies!!!" like the narcissist she is.


nothing eats a narcissist up inside like knowing that people finally saw through their bullshit. nothing.










get therapy, lovely parents. look inwards, for therein the problem lies.

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Axqu posted:

It’s me, I’m one of the multiple!! I told a buddy of mine and her response was “WOW that woman is absolutely off the deep end.”

Sorry about the lunatic stalking you, Rutibex. Glass half full version, I guess, is you’ve got validation that estrangement was 100% the right call.

see, it's already started to leak to (i assume) people who don't even read these forums. excellent.

extremely good point about the validation (not that rutibex likely needed any). almost every single thing these people do just further confirms every reason they're estranged in the first place.

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

teen witch posted:

But real talk I do not understand the end game here. Like is this to drive your child back to you because it doesn’t seem like it’s going to work.

It doesn’t even seem like this was a “I read what you said and I’m sorry, I didn’t get it, how do we work on this” - if it was that I could respect it. I could respect contrition and trying to do better. But clearly this ain’t it.

it is nothing more than the desperate attempt of an unhealthy ego to avoid acknowledging personal flaws. there is no end game, there is no long term strategy, it's a defensive response to criticism that simply avoids internalizing the criticism at all costs. that's it.

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

life is killing me posted:

I’m sure in her mind it’s his wife’s fault for letting him get posted in Benghazi

too bad for all the estranged parents out there that this thread, much like benghazi, ain't going away

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

thinking about making a "post itt everytime you lol that rutibex's mom is a toxic narcissistic stalker" thread but wondering if that might be a bit much

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Ghost Leviathan posted:

It takes an incredible amount of bullshit for people to choose to escape from their own parents and yet so many people manage it

You are always bad parents; if your children were truly manipulative, they'd be trying to exploit you for money and property. they've cut you off because you have nothing to offer them, not even and especially not in words or feelings. You are worthless.

Hell, I keep "worthless" acquaintances around or at least stay on good terms with them because at least they don't actively make my life worse.

Estranged parents are a net negative on their children's lives. You have to be such a lovely person to make someone override the instinct to love their parents lmao

ben shapino fucked around with this message at 19:44 on May 27, 2021

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

ElHuevoGrande posted:

I'm waiting for SEO bots to get to those cursed pinterest memes from a few pages back. I want a Discarded Gramma t shirt. Or maybe a whole cafe press site such that I can get a Discarded Gramma old bag.

DON'T mess with
an eighty-four
year-old who hasn't
talked to THEIR
GRANDSON in
twenty YEARS!!!!

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

blunt for century posted:

My parents banned Captain Planet because "it's propaganda to make business owners look bad".

Well... It is. It's just accurate and correct propaganda.

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

2022 would be a great year for lovely alcoholic parents to drop dead

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Rutibex posted:

report him for terrorism

see something, say something

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

I guess I'm lucky. My dad wasn't around and my mom just drank too much to be concerned about what her kids were up to, ask them to do things, support their hobbies or protect them from opportunistic predators. At least she tells me she's super proud of how well I've turned out despite having done almost nothing to help me get here!

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Alterian posted:

My mom really wanted me to be a doctor when I was a kid to the point she bought me a large medical dictionary for my birthday. I never showed any interest in medicine once my entire childhood. She just wanted to be able to brag her daughter was a doctor and wanted me to make a lot of money. Spoiler, I don't do anything remotely close to medicine. She also was upset I didn't give up my career to be a sahm. Which one did you want, mom? Dr or sahm?

Doctor, or stay at home mom if not doctor. Duh?

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

my mom is leaning hard into "I have no friends, nobody wants to be around me, nobody takes my side on everything, everything I do is wrong, nobody wants to help me, I'm so lonely, I want to die, I'm so depressed, what am I supposed to do" and yet every time we point out something she's doing that's pissing people off (she literally asks us to do this) she goes all "oh wow I guess I can't say anything, I should just shut the gently caress up and say nothing I guess" (yeah probably)

on top of responding to "have you considered therapy" with "what the hell is that going to do to help me"



loving be alone then I don't care gently caress

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

My mom was also really annoying about eating everything on the plate, we grew up with no money so a combination of "don't waste food I paid for" as well as "there are starving kids in Africa who don't have any food so you're being ungrateful by not eating it".

For the record she didn't like my suggestion of packing it up in a box and sending it to Africa if they're so hungry over there.

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Ghostnuke posted:

In my family, it was "eat it or wear it". I can remember getting tomato soup dumped on my head

psychotic abusive side of this notwithstanding... doesn't this just make a huge mess that someone has to clean up? something is wrong with your family on multiple levels

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

*listening to hours of endless criticism that does nothing but make me feel like poo poo* this person cares about me

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

AceOfFlames posted:

And to make it worse, one of the stuff they say is "you ignore all the good stuff we say about you, I don't understand why your self esteem is this low!"

Of course their excuse for pressuring me to move closer to my brother and threatening to get a house close by is "what if you break a leg or have a serious health issue or lose your job? You will be helpless!"

Though my therapist says this is not ok she still says things like "I am sure your parents still love you"

Edit: in any case, I will be shortening future holidays until I just stop coming all together until they learn to be civil. I already made this visit one week long for this purpose, next time it's a weekend.

delaying the inevitable, always a solid choice

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

broken pixel posted:

I’ve been avoiding posting here since I’ve known about the thread for like, a year, so I’m just going to talk where I’m at with my god drat grandmother. Normally, I’d explain all of the key events that show why she’s miserable, but I’m just gonna give the beats hitting me right now with faith that the thread Gets It.

My grandmother is the type of person who favors guilt trips and self-pity. She loves to be pitied. She also has a cool quirk of trying to humiliate her family based on their interests and preferences, including laughing at us when we express liking… anything… and telling us that it’s weird. She also loved giving prank gifts to embarrass people or put them down.

I answered a phone call from her a few weeks ago, thinking it may have been my (everything-phobic) grandad. It was her, telling me he was dead, and that she was alone and can’t believe she’s able to talk to me and doesn’t want to bother me and be a burden AND still doesn’t know what she did to deserve this treatment (i.e. me ignoring her rear end). The usual. I didn’t answer her, because she has never listened to my responses before.

At this point, I want are two scrapbooks at her house that have irreplaceable photos of my dad and me. If I could gather the courage to go over once and take them, I’d be free. It’s still immensely painful and annoying. I know it’ll be a small debacle. The guilt tripping, the begging, the complete ignorance of everything between us… It sucks so loving badly. I’d simply wait for her to die, but I’m relatively confident that I’d have to deal with my aunt, who is notably -phobic of my sexuality and gender.

In summary: I’m very tired, dude!

go get those scrapbooks my guy

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

tell your narcissistic family members that they suck and you're going to enjoy watching them die alone, imo

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

parents bad

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

Pogonodon posted:

One is good. One is an abomination unto the Lord and should never have been created by our sinful hands.

can we not make this thread about Israel and Palestine too please

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

extremely hosed up complexes about gifts, money and generosity ftw

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ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

i remember getting a toothbrush for christmas. not a fancy one, just a new basic dollarstore one. there were a couple other gifts, and its not like my mom was rolling in money or anything, but i remember being like "this is kind of a basic necessity, not a gift??" and getting yelled at

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