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ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Tiggum posted:

The weirdest stories here are the ones where apparently they're still Facebook friends with, still talk on the phone to, and still visit their "estranged" children. What does that even mean?

The adult children may have just gone low contact. That can mean only having indirect contact through the internet and one phone call a week, etc. They may just be one step away from telling the narcissistic parent to gently caress off for good. I do wonder if some of these "estranged" children have simply set and enforced healthy boundaries which their awful parents see as some sort of personal attack or disrespect. Like they'd be surprised to find out the parent considers them estranged.

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ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Mammon Loves You posted:

I am struggling with this right now and I simultaneously can't imagine not being in contact with my parents again but at the same time how I would ever be in contact with them again.

The last straw was last summer when my wife and I were planning to visit my sister, my mom who was not included in the trip called me up to tell me she had planned my itinerary for me. When I told her I would be planning my own itinerary she hung up in tears. My dad called me back to yell at me about how I made my mom cry.

Every "reconciliation" email she's sent has included some form of the language "we raised you to be too independent." I'm 37 years old

Well really, how dare you not allow her to manipulate your vacation from afar. It's weird how these people put all this effort into this manipulative poo poo. Being a decent human being legit takes less effort.

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

Where to I sign up to be adopted by one of these rich toxic parents?

Are you familiar with the concept of the Wonderful Stranger? I have narcissistic fuckup parents, and one of my support groups brought up this concept. The Wonderful Stranger is someone who the narcissist vents to about all their problems. The Wonderful Stranger is someone kind enough to listen and usually doesn't know any of the family or the narcissist's history. They will believe everything the narcissist has to say, or at least listen politely. Sometimes they'll even start poo poo with the family. The narcissist will lecture their own family or whoever is unlucky enough to walk within speaking distance of them about how wonderful this other person is. It's a little similar to the golden child/scapegoat dynamic, but it reaches outside the immediate family. The Wonderful Stranger might be a neighbor. It might be someone who took pity on them and listened to the narcissist rant for a minute while they were eating alone at McDonald's. If you can somehow become a WS to a narcissist, there's a chance they will leave you everything in a will to spite their own family. Get out there and start chatting up weirdos.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




It's amazing how not a single one of them claims any personal responsibility.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




I like the red lines but they need some arrows to indicate who's estranged who. A dotted or dashed red line could indicate temporary estrangement. Green dots for whoever has taken over the estranged parent's role in the family and


ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




If they had a normal relationship, it wouldn't take that long. When you dread contact with your parents because every interaction is an opportunity for them to treat you like poo poo, yeah, you push off those phone calls. People like this also tend to exaggerate their problems, so that "four weeks" could in reality be one week or even a day. Narcissists are full of poo poo and will often say whatever to make themselves look good. Reality is much more pliable for them.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Yeah I was rolling my eyes at all the "pain" of having to deal with things like receiving a gift with your grandchild's name on it. I don't know if that's the same woman, but reacting like she was given kryptonite is so WTF. She was given a heartfelt gift by her family, but her grandchild's name being on the object ruins it because... Narcissist logic. You made a great point about how exhausting these people are. Always ruminating. It's also really disgusting how little sympathy or empathy they have for their pregnant daughters or parents with young children. Or really anyone with their own life. Spend your life driving people away and you get to be lonely when you're old.

I want to know what that gift was that was ruined by having a child's name on it.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Randler posted:

So, how does the estranged parents community react to that woman? Is the fact she admits to being estranged from her mother herself quietly ignored?

I don't think these people spend too much time thinking about anyone else's posts. This board is like a parody of a real support group.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




I think the idea is to remind her daughter that mom is in fact responsible for her success in life. Narcissist mom could also just be getting rid of some trash in the most convoluted way possible. Who knows!

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




That is such a bizarre story I'm having trouble following it. Mom's leaving a bunch of poo poo out. Daughter tries to jump out of a moving vehicle, and mom keeps driving? And mom is more concerned about her ruining a pair of boots. Also you don't need a place to pull over when someone is hanging out of your loving car. You stop and you help them out.

No mistakes here!

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




BrigadierSensible posted:

I just noticed something else. Forgive me if this is obvious.

Many of these mothers don't even like their Estranged Children. In so much as they don't like them as people, and don't enjoy their company, and don't can't relate to them/hang out as friends.

Which, to me, makes all their wailing and gnashing of teeth about being estranged a little odd. They don't want actual contact/a relationship with their children or grandchildren, they want the idea of a relationship with their children/grandchildren. So, as a poster said above, they slot it into their memories as a perfect Hallmark photo of their perfect Norman Rockwell family. And sadly reality is seldom like that, even for good, normal, non-toxic families.

Another thing I am finding odd, (although maybe this is just a symptom of the house style of that forum, and the way people on the internet exaggerate), is the theatrical and performative PAIN that these people are in. It is never, "My daughter called me an abusive bitch, so I was angry at her and felt bad.", it is always "I received a birthday card from my grandson but he only signed it with his name and didn't hand write I love you grandma. I have been crying and wailing at the skies in eternal torment for the last 2 weeks over the agony my ungrateful daughter has caused me over this estrangement." And I would imagine that no apology would ever be good enough for such a terrible slight, and so that may be another reason that the children keep their distance, to avoid all the operatic "woe is me" and "it's your fault I burned the toast last Wednesday" wailing.

Yes! Narcissists are very theatrical. They live for these performances. For my parents, it's all about appearances. It's very important for them to appear to be intelligent, successful people. When my brother and I were kids it was important for them to appear to be good parents. Not to actually be good parents. They did not do that work. As long as they appeared to be doing their jobs, that was enough for them. My dad apparently had a great work ethic at work, so naturally everyone assumed it would be the same at home. He did a good job of painting this picture of my brother and myself as rebellious/ungrateful children. That was not reality. My mother died of cancer when I was a kid, and my dad remarried this crazy person he'd been screwing around on her with. Well, my new stepmother would brag to everyone about how God had blessed her with two more children, after she was unable to have kids. Never gave a single poo poo about either of us when she wasn't being watched. Same with her own biological children. I don't even want to think about what she put them through. It was really like someone flicked a switch when she no longer had an audience to impress.

BrigadierSensible posted:

A question. And I am sorry if it is rude. But to people who grew up with parents like that, does it de-sensitize you to other people's real pain? i.e. "Yeah, I can see you crying, but that doesn't affect me because I have seen my mum do worse over a cup of spilled milk.", or are you hyper-sensitive to it, i.e. "Please please please don't be upset, I will do anything to stop you from being even the slightest upset because I am scared it will erupt into wailing and gnashing of teeth like it did with my mum."?

I don't feel desensitized. Probably the opposite. It's probably compensating, in a way, because I've spent so much time with people who trivialize everyone else's pain or make grand, bullshit statements about suffering. I don't tend to have big reactions when things happen though. Sometimes I worry that, because I've been working so hard to ignore my loving drama queen parents, that I don't give people enough attention when they do need it.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




BrigadierSensible posted:

Am I over-reading into this, or is there some racism involved here? As in this is from a crazy white lady who adopted a black, or hispanic baby, (to give it a better life and opportunities that it wouldn't have had in "those" communities)? All the stuff about her "genetic pre-disposition" and the way she damns with faint praise how well the girl is doing at school due to her IQ, (which others like her don't have) makes me think that here is a racist undercurrent to this story. Which may be why the mother and daughter haven't bonded sufficiently for the crazy lady's taste.

There's some serious old-school racism with the whole growing into her "genetic balance" and being "afraid" of her preteen daughter. She's insinuating her minority genes are taking over and wiping out the "civilized" white, middle class upbringing she has tried to instill in her adopted daughter. This old hag sounds like she's from the 1850s. I doubt her adopted daughter is doing anything more than reacting to the way she's being treated. Narcissist mom also likes having a smart daughter, despite how it contradicts her bullshit narrative.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Whatever you decide to do, you're under no obligation to re-establish contact.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Picnic Princess posted:

I got into a fight with my mom when I was a teenager when she forbid me from seeing my now husband to "keep me safe". To make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with him, she screamed at me that she lost her virginity to her brother when she was 13. I have no idea what the gently caress that had to do with it.

She's been holding a grudge against me the last few years because I refuse to go with her to visit him since he has a terminal cancer. I'll never be sorry for not maintaining relationships with child rapists just because they're family. I'm pretty sure he did things to me too when I was little but they gaslit me over that saying he prefers teenagers.

"No, sweetie, he's an ephebophile, not a pedophile." That's a defense? What a piece of poo poo.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Cerebral Mayhem posted:

These parents always seem fixated on visions of the ideal family. My mom would frequently bring up examples of other children from books and nag me, "Why can't you be more like ___? Look, she is always meek and respectful and never talks back!" Uhhhh, maybe it's because she's a fictional character? Maybe the author is an abusive piece of poo poo themselves and has created their version of the ideal child? Or, we would be out and see another family and my mom would tell me, "Look! ___ always says 'Sir' and 'Ma'm' when talking to his parents! How nice!" Well, maybe it's because he knows he'll get a beating when they get home if he doesn't.

One time during an argument, I made the point that if you want respect you have to give respect she shouted, "I don't have to do anything! We're not equal! It says so in the Bible!"

What a whiny bitch. Respect is earned. The bible doesn't give parents carte blanche to be assholes.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Clitch posted:

It...kinda does.

I don't want to get too into bible chat but there are passages that can be interpreted either way. It's irrelevant because the idiot boomer narcissists, for the most part, only know the commandment about honoring your parents, and they equate respect with tolerating abuse and shaming.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




trickybiscuits posted:

Here is something I've wondered for a while: do narcissists and people with narcissistic tendencies repeat themselves a lot? The estranged parents seem to repeat themselves over and over again (the woman who adopted a couple of kids and blamed their "genetics" for their behavior just posted a 1,275-word recap of her life story), and the people I've dealt with in real life who behave this way would repeat themselves a lot. One woman told me the same story about her dog three times in about two weeks, right down to the same wording. Another person would take any opportunity to launch into the story of his health problems.

Yeah my parents do that. If my stepmother doesn't get the reaction she wants after telling some long, boring story about herself, she will turn to the next person and start telling it again. Doesn't matter if you already heard her. Sometimes she'll just start telling it to the same person again. She's always the hero of the story who managed to figure out something someone else couldn't possibly have done. She's very smart, you see. Or it's her laundry list of made-up problems about her health, because she needs attention 24/7. She has claimed to have various problems including polio, brain damage because a surgeon pulled her out of her mother's womb using metal tools and damaged her skull, and wall-eye vision. Her own parents had no memory of her ever having polio or that brain trauma story. Her oldest daughter has type 1 diabetes. Nobody can mention that without my stepmother going into her own pre-diabetic symptoms in depth. All she has to do is get a little exercise and stop eating Cheez-Its and gummy bears all day. The last time she told me she had no depth perception I offered to drive her over to the DMV. If she doesn't have depth perception, she shouldn't be driving a car, and we should go turn her license in. She stopped making that particular claim, but is still a worthless leech.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




That's pure, unfiltered narcissism.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




"I'm not going to go into what I invested in my daughter, because it will become crystal clear how much more time and effort I put into my dogs/literally anything else."

A lot of narcissists can't tolerate being made fun of, even by a small child. How many times has her daughter had that drawing she did when she was six years old thrown back into her face? In contrast, when my dad was a little kid, he got yelled at by grandpa for doing something wrong. In retaliation he drew a picture of his father as the devil, in crayon, on the kitchen wall. Grandpa actually thought that was funny, felt a little ashamed at how angry he'd gotten, and then went and had a talk with my dad about what happened.

I'm glad her husband came to his senses and divorced her. What do you want to bet all her "problems" started when he stopped being codependent?

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Tin Can Hit Man posted:

Willing to bet money that mom is trying to get back with dad and son is being a major obstacle to that. Otherwise I struggle to see why she's so invested in a father that isn't even around.

It's more about keeping up appearances. Who cares what her son is going through? Can't let the neighbors know mom makes poor choices.

Splash Attack posted:

theyíre not full out horrible like some of these parents, but they definitely are close. my dad always loves to go off about how much heís invested in me and how heís failed to receive any result, also if i was a employee under him he would have fired me.

This is pretty terrible, as is the other poo poo they've done. It's weird that your father is talking about investing in you as if he's investing in his retirement and not your future, as their child.

ohnobugs fucked around with this message at 22:22 on Sep 25, 2019

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




It's also, for many of them, a tool for controlling their kids that stopped working the second they moved out/became adults. They don't understand why, and I'm loving it.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




PinheadSlim posted:

I'm so sorry. This reminds me of when my mom got my fiancee a bag of two year old expired pasta. We only discovered it was old when we tried to cook it. Because that's actually a bad gift, unlike perfectly good chocolate. We still wonder what she was thinking. No she doesn't drink, before you ask lol.

Quick edit : After posting this I may realize it's because my fiancee is Jewish and I only recently found out my mom's an anti-semite. gently caress

Veering off topic here a bit, but that seems like a very hoarder thing to do. Give a gift that they've held onto for years, and they have actually attached value to it, despite it being literal trash. It's a terrible gift, no matter what. Bet she'd be insulted and throw a shitfit if you complained about it too.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




PinheadSlim posted:

We used to be really poor so that could be it. She doesn't have any other hoarder tendencies that I know of, but I desperately want to believe my mother isn't a 0/10 garbage person so I'll take it

That could definitely be it. She may not have realized how old it was. I know a lot of Depression survivors hoarded food and supplies, but weren't really traditional mentally ill hoarders. It's just a mindset they had.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Grimdude posted:

These people and not replying to texts quick enough for their liking.

Going through a whole thing with my mom and she pulled this poo poo. She texted (along with several others) on my birthday last week and I had the gall to not reply fast enough and boy howdy did I hear it in a voicemail the very next day. And this isn't new with her. I'm constantly reminded when I haven't called back or messaged fast enough.

I told her like a month ago I've been feeling depressed (which my paternal grandpa battled with) and that I needed time before meeting up. This was right after she threw a fit because I canceled dinner plans (that she told me about that day, not asked). I told her she's stressful for me and I needed to just figure poo poo out on my end.

She actually used the line "I guess I thought I raised you better" in the voicemail and it made me go from "oh God I feel so guilty maybe I'm wrong, maybe this voicemail will be nice and make me regretful" to "haha wow okay then."

Seriously, my stomach was in knots all day anticipating hearing that message. What a relief.

How dare you answer when it's convenient to you and not according to her own predetermined schedule. She can't effectively control your time when you do that. It's like every interaction with a person like this they are trying to extract something from you.

These people also have no concept of how their own behavior makes people not want to talk to them or interact with them.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




PetraCore posted:

Wait, is the birth trauma thing saying the daughter has brain damage causing impulse control issues bc of forceps being used on her soft newborn skull?

Like I completely believe there's mental illness going on there that mom ignored bc it was inconvenient, but I didn't realize that was a thing.

That's a lovely therapist. Every time therapy gets around to talking about mom's abusive behavior, or the daughter starts showing independence or improved function, I suspect mom is cutting out on that therapist and goes looking for a new one.

Not sure why she owes $30,000. I'd like to see a breakdown of that. She could have refused to pay her bills because she wasn't told what she wanted to hear. She may be on the hook for her daughter's court-ordered hospitalization or care. That number could also just be unrelated credit card debt or completely made up. Who knows?

My dad had our family switch therapists a few times when we were kids, usually when we got to talking about what he and my stepmother were doing. Off-topic, but my hoarder stepmother is a disability scammer and claims to have every kind of illness ever. She also claims to have brain damage from birth for the same reason. According to her, in the olden days doctors used heavy metal forceps and went in like Wolverine to pull out babies. It's bullshit, but it's also difficult to prove it didn't happen. There are a few legitimate cases of that kind of damage happening to boomers during birth, but it's blown way out of proportion. I'm imagining this mother demanding an explanation for what's wrong with her daughter that doesn't involve her being an abusive bitch, and this poor therapist is just racking their brain for something to tell her.

ohnobugs fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Oct 14, 2019

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




That stuff just ruins the game of golden child/scapegoat they've got going on with the daughter and son. Also, effort.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




I get the feeling mom has basically disowned her and the daughter is only contacting her for basic things she needs, like her birth certificate and social security card, so she can get a job or her driver's license. I don't want to diminish anything the daughter's going through, but a lot of these parents embellish and heavily exaggerate their children's behavior and turn a night or two of smoking weed or drinking with friends into terrible, family-destroying addictions. The daughter could have legit drug issues, but I don't believe mom. I do think there is a legit disability or developmental issue of some sort going on that mom is trying to wallpaper over.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




One of the worst things about getting out of an abusive home is looking back and seeing how many people knew, but just didn't give a gently caress. Or they're annoyed at you for bringing it up, because denial is easier. It's way too common.

quote:

My seven-year-old granddaughter isn't doing enough to make ME feel welcome!!

She is suffering so much because she's forced to play with her granddaughter for an afternoon. I wonder what exciting activities she had planned for her granddaughter. I imagine a kid waiting alone in the car or sitting on a bench while grandma gets her shopping done. That little girl is pretty smart for refusing to go out alone with this harpy and insisting on staying home, in a safe space with her parents a room away.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




BrigadierSensible posted:

I think you are misreading it. As I read it, the crazy woman is annoyed that her daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter, (who all seem to act civil, and polite, and welcoming to her), didn't want to hang out with her enough for her liking, AND have the temerity to also be hanging out with another relative, (somebody's aunt?), that the crazy lady blames for tearing this family apart. And that is a terrible crime that causes crazy lady much pain.

Although I could be the one misreading it. It is horribly garbled.

I think we're both right, in a way. It's difficult to parse these narcissistic monologues. You're talking about the end of her post and I'm talking about the beginning. She's annoyed she can't control the entire day. In the first sentence, she talks about the granddaughter being dressed to go out. I got the impression granny wanted to take the girl out for the day, but ended up staying at her kids' house. Crazy grandma's also suggesting doing things other than playing in the grandkid's room, and granddaughter doesn't want to do them, because she's a seven-year-old girl. This old lady expects her granddaughter to follow her script, and I'm really enjoying that she's not. And she manages to shoehorn in a complaint about her ex who is not involved in any of this. So much boomer stink in one paragraph.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




quote:

Drinking and using was bad??? In, Ď70s and í80s it was just what most did.

loving hell no. This era was huge for alcoholism awareness and treatment, and anti-drunk driving efforts ramped up, etc. Like many addicts, she just surrounded herself with other alcoholics.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




trickybiscuits posted:

Earlier in the thread someone said that people like this tend to cling to external things like money and nice cars and stuff because they can't actually have real relationships so maybe it's the same with holidays- they have to have everyone come over to THEIR house and eat the dinner THEY made and spend two hours doing the white elephant exchange that THEY planned and everything has to be nice and picture-perfect because if they don't have that to cling to then there's nothing else.

This was my family. We didn't celebrate holidays. We hit bullet points.

quote:

Today is one of those days that I briefly forgot that I am estranged from my adopted daughter and I went into worried mom mode. The trigger was an article about daughter that is suspected of foul play with her own child. It made me google my daughter to see if she made the news. Iím okay though remembering didnít make me cry but just a tiny ping of sadness hit my heart for a second. Iím trying very hard to live my own life with no expectations of a relationship ever again. I am somewhat fortunate that my case is different in that I adopted an older child. I can kind of put the years she was with me in a box. I was a good mom when she let me do my job. I miss those times. I canít say I miss her disrespectful mouth. I still have this sense that Iím going to get a call one day that something horrible has happened to her. Maybe I will never get a call. I just canít waste the time in between those two possible outcomes worrying day and night. Iíll take this day and add it to the imaginary box that holds our relationship.

How did she get through the adoption process? Were they just throwing babies off the back of a bus? LOL at thinking "worried mom mode" is watching the news about some sort of human tragedy and hoping it's your own daughter.

quote:

She has always been very moody and I am scared that she will distance herself if I say anything, but if I donít Ė I will end up walking on eggshells for the rest of my life.

This person can either be constantly spewing poo poo and starting fights or walking on eggshells. There is no in-between. Seriously though daughter needs to live somewhere that isn't soul-killing.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Admiralty Flag posted:

(This is assuming that when she says the trigger was an article about "daughter" she meant "woman" and had a giant Freudian slip; it's even more weirdly written if the article was about her daughter though that might explain why she was so eager to put "adopted" in there.)

These people always make sure everyone knows their child is adopted so they can be constantly praised for adopting a child and also constantly reminding said child of how much they have done for them. I grew up near a family that had adopted children. If they hadn't told everyone, no one would have guessed their first son was adopted. The kid could have grown up and gone to school without the stigma of being adopted. But that would have benefited the kid, not the parents.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Ghost Leviathan posted:

You'd think people could realise that we have a societal gold standard for adoptive parents, and they're literally Superman's family.

It'd be nice if we had standards yes. Continuing to refer to your adult children as adopted in every conversation is weird and wrong.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Is this a scenario where the narcissist focuses on the parents instead of children, or is it just where the child, not the parent is the problem? I'm not sure there is an exact opposite scenario. In my experience, these people fling their poo poo in every direction. I just imagine my stepmom as a child. She would unironically post that psycho mom screed on Facebook, and I hear her voice in a lot of these rejected parent forum posts. Her parents were relatively normal, from what I know, and they kept a lot of her worst behavior in check when she was young. They seemed to be very aware of her toxic personality and kept their distance. We only ever saw them at weddings or funerals. Stepmom would make a big show about seeing her "mommy and daddy" and then we wouldn't hear anything else about them for years.

Another thought I had about that was these people aren't really interested in having and maintaining relationships. They don't seem to need that approval from mom and dad or any other direct family, unless they think it will get them a big inheritance or something.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




That whole family is just rear end.

quote:

Itís literally impossible to be physically active with a child who has zero liking for board games, reading, watching movies.

I like how she talks about how difficult it is to be active then lists a bunch of things that involve no physical activity of any kind. An active kid not interested in being a couch potato? That's some good parenting.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Dienes posted:

People aren't entitled to infinite chances from you.

Agreed. She's trying to guilt you into contacting her. It's absolutely a calculated move, and you shouldn't feel bad about ignoring her.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




The part where she talks about having her kid taken away is way too sane. I would expect the whole diatribe to be about how her perfect angel got taken away from her and what that's doing to her.

Though talking about being *blessed* with a child and then never changing that child's diapers or feeding or holding it right is on point.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




It's nice when narcissists self-identify

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Picnic Princess posted:

My mom took me to see The Headstones after I won tickets in a radio call-in contest when I was 13. Some people were smoking weed nearby and she asked if I knew the smell. I thought she was weird because my dad smoked crack and I thought it was like a less gross form of that so I said yes. I didn't know about drugs or the different types, I just sat in my room playing video games and reading books as a kid and just knew it as the gross stuff dad smoked.

She was actually trying to find out if I was smoking it yet because she did when she was in her teens and assumed I was going to do the same thing. I didn't actually try it until I was like 26.

That's an amazing disconnect there needling you about pot smoke at a concert and ignoring crack use at home.

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




Dienes posted:

I'm fairly stunned, since "I demand to be in the room for the birth and they won't let me reeeeeee" has come up before and the estranged parents have commisserated on the cruelty and unfairness of it.

If you look at it, it reads differently from the other posts on that forum. It's really cleanly written, and while the writer still comes off as a narcissist, she clearly outlines her DIL's perspective. There's no gaslighting or missing details. The backstory moves cleanly from point A to point B. I would bet Sheri McGregor wrote it for the purpose of pointing it out and saying, "See? We do call out bad behavior."

I also think it's weird other posters were calling out this person. These narcissists only read other posts long enough to agree, fake some sympathy, and then using whatever post as a springboard to whine some more about their own lives.

ohnobugs fucked around with this message at 03:50 on Jan 14, 2020

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ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003




I think it's fake. It doesn't read like a regular narcissist's post. Narcissists know what they're doing is wrong. They know they're hurting their friends and families. They don't care. They just want to look like good people. That's why many of them have these gaping holes in their stories. They're avoiding talking about what they've done. Some are better at this than others. And then we have Sheri McGregor who wrote an entire book painting herself as the blameless victim of her son and her daughter-in-law.

It could also be a real post, and this could just be this person's one issue. Maybe they're a little blind to their behavior out of excitement of finally having a little girl in the family. If they're not a real narcissist, that might explain why these other irate boomers are eagerly throwing her under the bus and claiming to suddenly be able to see their own flaws.

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