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“The well of human knowledge – by the standards of the Universe, anyway – runs as shallow as they come. Much of humanity’s thought concerning life, heaven, hell, and god has been anthropocentric and in general divinity has been lovingly crafted by man to appeal to man’s ego. But below the traditional Judeo-Christian and Muslim religions, below even the older pagan rites and observances runs something cold and dark. I’ll tell you the real truth: in the sticky, wet places that exist between what you and I know to be reality lies an entire manifestation of all the horrible poo poo you can’t even begin to conceptualize. Empty intelligences and unthinkable geographies are there to eat you up and won’t even deign spit out your hollow bones. But one can bargain. I will not be one of the sheep to be sheared." - Asphodel’s journal Welcome to Undercroft, my CYOA love letter to all my favorite horror-noir writers. This is a story where together we get to pilot our hero/ine through the black passages and twisted landscapes of cosmic horror while doing our best not to go insane or die at the hands of true believers or the ichorous masters they serve. My plan is to give this the best go that I can. Updates will occur hopefully every 48 hours or so, with pauses possible over the weekends. I'm only human and I'm terrible at writing but this is designed to be a shared creative outlet. While I absolutely, 100% do not intend for this to be torture-based disgusting wank fantasy, this story will involve violence, some gore, and generally what you’d find in the stories of authors like Barker, Barron, or Pugmire (although without all the gross sex you might find in Barker). I’m a compete hack so I will be cribbing material directly from their catalogues although I promise not to just copy/paste. There will be violence against men and women (no sexual violence, however) so please consider this your disclaimer that if you’re not into that, please don’t read my idiot shitposts. ----- With that said, we need to begin by creating our protagonist. This story is set in the modern era and I’m putting the locations in Oregon because I love Oregon. Consider the following options: 1. Protag Background A) Pete, the college newspaper reporter (21) B) Rosa, the Iraq War veteran, currently employed as a private detective (30s) C) Annie, Professor of Religious Studies (40s) D) Vic, Mob Enforcer in WITSEC (late 50s) 2. How did you discover the dark occult underlying our own reality? A) Picked up a weird grimoire in a dusty corner of a used bookstore B) Fell in with the wrong crowd C) Met a person who knew more than they should and they taught you everything you know 3. Who’s your best friend? A) Joanie, the girl with whom you worked at Louie’s Diner in your teens B) Ben, the never-do-well slacker you’ve been friends with since childhood C) Sam, your lovable mutt 4. Why are you chasing Casper Asphodel? A) He stole some relics from a friend, who’s asked you to get them back B) He murdered both your brother and sister C) He’s hinted at something sinister and grand during a social encounter edited for typos sephiRoth IRA fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Jul 19, 2019 |
# ? Jul 19, 2019 04:52 |
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# ? Apr 26, 2024 06:23 |
Oh this looks very promising! 1: A or D 2: B 3: A 4: C Come tell people about it on the goon CYOA discord
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 05:14 |
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1: A 2: A 3: A 4: C
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 05:16 |
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CCCC
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 07:10 |
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DBCC Sorry but the idea of a former hitman in WITSEC bored out of his skull in rural Oregon grabbing flyers off a bookstore bulletin board just to have something to do and accidentally joining a cult, that probably also has some of his WITSEC handlers in it, so now the only one he can trust is his faithful dog... that idea just delights me, please say it can happen
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 11:21 |
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D A B C
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 13:19 |
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CABC Religious professor finds strange but appealing references to a book in an article or something many years ago. Her friend Ben calls her to tell her that he's found that weird book she mentioned a few times. Her colleague Caspar overhears this news and threatens Annie, suggesting that he might do something radical if he doesn't get his hands on this book. Or something.
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 13:30 |
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Religious professor found the BLACK BIBLE!
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 13:40 |
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C A A A (w I'm a crow!!!)
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 15:42 |
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A A A C Dumb idealistic kid is a good way to get going.
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# ? Jul 20, 2019 07:02 |
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It's an even split between Pete, Annie, and Vic. (Nobody likes Tulsi, I guess). I need a tiebreaker! First three posters get to decide. If it's an even split again I'll pick my favorite.
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# ? Jul 20, 2019 16:15 |
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Changing C to D
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# ? Jul 20, 2019 20:43 |
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D Mobsters vs Cthulhu sounds fun.
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# ? Jul 21, 2019 13:42 |
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B C B C
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# ? Jul 22, 2019 07:23 |
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areyoucontagious posted:Consider the following options: Vote: D) Vic, Mob Enforcer in WITSEC (late 50s). A) Picked up a weird grimoire in a dusty corner of a used bookstore. A) Joanie, the girl with whom you worked at Louie’s Diner in your teens. C) He’s hinted at something sinister and grand during a social encounter.
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# ? Jul 22, 2019 22:45 |
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God, I hope this is entertaining... I hope you're all prepared for hacky, freshman english storytelling If you’ve ever had a chance to see the 1990 film “Goodfellas”, you’ll have a flawed – but not completely inapt – view of Vincenzo Catena’s trajectory within one of New York’s Five Families. He won’t mention which family, of course. “Victor Marra” has been the state’s witness and voluntary captive for the past three years. Vic, née Vincenzo, was as good a witness as the feds could ask for; not only had Vic witnessed The Nose give direct orders for murder and grift from the Danbury Fed visitation rooms, he looked the part. Vic was six-five and built like a walking refrigerator. The prosecutor saw him and drooled all over herself at thought of the jury listening to this stereotype tell them exactly the kind of mob poo poo they wanted to hear. They knew the Nose was still moving from prison and gave Vic the tough choice of ratting or rotting in a cell. Vic, always a pragmatist, saw that this was his best opportunity to depart his life of being Bonanno muscle before he found himself on the wrong side of sixty, or maybe just the wrong side of a .45. He told them everything and put the Nose back into prison not two months after he was out. The assholes at WITSEC thought it’d be funny to toss Vic as far from New York (and Connecticut) as they could, and got him a gig at a small-town grocery in Newberg, Oregon. Vic has seen Goodfellas, and to hear him say it “that loving line about the spaghetti, it hits you right here.” Once the feds dropped him off and told him to be good, that they’d be in touch, and not to do anything stupid, life passed like somebody paid God to gently caress with Vic in particular. Accustomed to life in the City, Newberg operated much like Vic would expect it to once the handlers told him where he was going: time slowed down, people drove like the speed limit was loving fifteen, and the food sucked.He did his best to stay occupied. He drank gallons of pinot with the tourists at the wineries and watched a lot of bad TV. Finally, after a year, he started to branch out. Maybe it was because he was an old man now, but he started going to the library. His bosses in the Bonanno family had always told him his brain was wasted on beating people, but Vic wasn’t one to rise above his station. His mama had told him that ambition would ruin him, so while Vic usually picked things up quicker than his fellow goombahs, he kept his mouth shut and his knuckles bloody. The books he liked were the older stuff, like Cervantes, Dante, and Shakespeare. He read the philosophers Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, and Kant. When that wasn’t enough, he branched out further. Despite his mother’s best efforts, Vic had never been religious or superstitious, but that changed on the day he browsed Dundee Books. He had tripped upon the black guidebook with the oily leather cover, embossed with a single broken ring. He spent hour upon hour, long into the time when the sun cracks over the horizon and bleeds red into the early blue of the dawn. He found new gods; gods he previously had never heard of nor even considered could possibly exist. ----- A series of scenes comprising the next six months of Vic’s life: -Stumbling on a series of mold-covered lithographs in a dank cave in northern Washington State depicting the birth of a something the guide named “Blegephor”… -Finding a notice in the guide to drop by a “society meeting” at one of the vineyard-adjacent mansions in the hills; stalking past an empty house to the backyard, where a group of people dressed in eveningwear watched a naked man drown something the size of a doberman in the koi pond… -Meeting Bill Tanner, a man of 80-plus years with piercing blue eyes and a penchant for “unique films”… -Attending his first meeting of the Procession of the Black Sloth: a group of academics, connoisseurs, writers, and deviants dedicated to the study and appreciation of the Guide and its related works… -Hearing the skittering sound of claws from underneath his hardwood floor, and upon failing to find sleep, checking into a nearby hotel… -Buying a .357 from a hunter on one of the local Facebook groups and sleeping with it under his pillow… ----- Casper sits, cornering the latest pretty undergrad to find her way into this group of villains. Vic watches her squirm, scrunching her neck to draw an exposed shoulder away from Casper’s pale, pink baby-fat hand. Long ago Vic found that not only was chivalry dead, but it could get you killed too. Still, that loving punk was a goddamn piece of gristle in Vic’s teeth. The kid was twenty-two and postured like he was royalty; he claimed to know more than the most obsessed collectors and frequently bragged about his latest obscure find. Vic didn’t care about Casper being a creep, but being disrespectful to his elders was a different matter entirely. The girl finally has enough, leaving her gin behind to grab her coat to flee on clacking high-heels out the door of Bill Tanner’s home. Casper walks up to Vic, a sneering smirk plastered across his scarred face. “Did you see that girl, Vic? Must be a long time since you’ve had a slice like that.” How does Vic carry the conversation? A. Aggressive – This little poo poo needs to take a step back and remember who he’s talking to before something unpleasant happens. B. Aloof – This conversation isn’t even worth the time it takes Vic to sip his merlot. C. Congenial – Bill doesn’t like a ruckus, so Vic’s going to keep it friendly.
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# ? Jul 22, 2019 23:06 |
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areyoucontagious posted:God, I hope this is entertaining... I hope you're all prepared for hacky, freshman english storytelling Its a promising start, and, we're all behind you! areyoucontagious posted:How does Vic carry the conversation? Vote: A. Aggressive – This little poo poo needs to take a step back and remember who he’s talking to before something unpleasant happens. Old habits die hard, and, Vic's had a lifetime of experience in teaching manners to those who don't show the proper respect to those who deserve it. "Yous knows Casper, I'ds be more careful if I was yous; these are awfully slick floors, yous wouldn't want to trip and ruin that pretty faces of yours."
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# ? Jul 22, 2019 23:33 |
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A
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# ? Jul 22, 2019 23:54 |
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Vic just needs to find a nice goumad. Below is a pretty comprehensive and accurate dictionary of Italian-american words, in case others are interested in trying to give the paisano a more accurate voice. https://americanitalian.net/
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 00:24 |
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HiHo ChiRho posted:Vic just needs to find a nice goumad. This is awesome! Thank you!
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 00:29 |
Aggressive posture, some habits die harder than others and watching that little poo poo all night has prickled our nerves.
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 04:53 |
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Can we drag him out back and thump him around a bit?
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 05:38 |
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Aggro
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 07:58 |
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A. Vic's been chafing under these small-town ways, and all this stress he's been under has him forgetting some of the secrecy the Marshals drilled into him.
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 08:41 |
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A. We we're a professional violencer. Let's violence this guy with words.
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 13:46 |
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A Smug is for thumpin'
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 22:01 |
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Vic was third-generation Italian, growing up with first- and second-generation Italians. He’d lived in the US his entire life and still his English was really more a mix of Italian and English, with a relatively thick accent. His secret pleasure was mob movies where all the actors faked the Italian accent the best they could. In social situations, because of the stereotype of Italian Mafiosos being intimidating, murderous bastards, Vic used his accent to his advantage. “Ey, Casper, I’d tell ya to get hosed, but, uh, it looks like dat ain’t happening tonight, is it?” Vic smiled as the sneer on Casper’s face dropped to a scowl. “I gently caress plenty, you insect. Women love power, and I wield more than you can even imagine. The propensity for subhumans like you to assume I don’t is so misguided.” Vic rolled his eyes. Casper was always using five-dollar words and it made him sound insecure. Vic supposed the punk thought it sounded smart but Vic had a long history of seeing dumb kids act tough and knew the score. “Women like two tings, kid, a platinum credit card and a big dick. From what I hear you ain’t packing. So why don’t you get outta my fuckin’ face before I have to put my wine down?” Blood rushed through Casper’s face, making his pale skin red like a fat, unripe peach. He bared his teeth, pointing a finger into Vic’s face. “Why are you even here, you maggot? What makes you think you’re even close to being on the same level with the likes of me, or anyone else here? We know things that would pop your tiny guinea brain. You can't even begin to understand what you don't know.” “Yeah, what do you know, you fuckin’ giamoke. You a dumb fuckin’ kid like all the udder dumb fuckin’ kids I seen.” “I’m going to make you bow to me, you piece of poo poo. I’m going to bring a new evolution. You and the rest of the scum here are going to squirm at my feet. I’ll show you the face of God!” Vic frowned. This outburst is different than Casper’s normal bragging. The conviction on his face, his eyes shining black in the dim light of the chandelier, made Vic uneasy. Casper thumped his outstretched finger into the slightly doughy slab of muscle over Vic’s heart and whispered “I can’t wait to see your new face.” Looking down, Vic frowned deeper and wrapped a scarred, ham-sized fist around Casper’s hand. Vic squeezed, feeling the bones in the moist hand clack together. He smiled when a gasping whine burst from the boy’s pouty mouth. “You gonna smudge my suit wit you greasy finga.” Vic crushed the limp appendage for an extra three count before letting Casper rip his maimed hand back into his midsection. Casper looked up into Vic’s face, beetle-black eyes wet with tears. “gently caress you, Vic. Igmem’s going to make you eat your own entrails and I’m going to watch.” Casper left. Vic stood, wine untouched in his left hand, wondering who or what Igmem was. He’d been getting more familiar with the names of the creatures and gods that were thrown around the meetings, but this wasn’t one he knew. What should Vic do next? A. Talk to Bill about Casper and Igmem – Bill knows more than anybody B. Read the Guide – there’s gotta be something in those pages about Casper’s god C. Go home and get some sleep – Vic’ll have a better head in the morning
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 23:12 |
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C
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# ? Jul 23, 2019 23:54 |
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areyoucontagious posted:What should Vic do next? Vote: A. Talk to Bill about Casper and Igmem – Bill knows more than anybody Not for nothing, let's go talk with the Capo.
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# ? Jul 24, 2019 00:15 |
CourValant posted:Vote: A. Talk to Bill about Casper and Igmem – Bill knows more than anybody This, then when we head home we can do B.
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# ? Jul 24, 2019 01:15 |
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Follow the little shite outside and beat his rear end in the parking lot
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# ? Jul 24, 2019 02:46 |
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A. Talk to the guy that knows stuff. Can't just go beat him down, can't afford the cops looking into us, so let's get some info first. Then we can go break his loving legs.
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# ? Jul 24, 2019 03:09 |
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DivineCoffeeBinge posted:A. A
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# ? Jul 24, 2019 04:32 |
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C
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# ? Jul 24, 2019 16:09 |
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A. Despite his aggressive posture, Vic knows better than to barge into situations unprepared.
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# ? Jul 24, 2019 20:31 |
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A
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# ? Jul 24, 2019 20:53 |
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Votes locked - update tomorrow
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# ? Jul 25, 2019 05:19 |
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A
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# ? Jul 25, 2019 06:25 |
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Bill Tanner’s home resembled something out of the days of English nobility in the 1920s; there were wall-sized oil paintings juxtaposed with gilded bannisters and outsized, gaping fireplaces. Vic had never bothered asking what Bill did for a living or how he had accumulated such wealth, but he did accept the proffered hand-rolled Cubans, imported cigarettes, and fine wines the old man seemed to always have on hand during gatherings. This particular night the group had assembled to view Bill’s newest acquisition. It was a set of photographs Bill claimed were made from negatives pulled from the remains of a spelunker found in a ruin in the northern Congo. The photos were complete with provenance in the form of a shabby Moleskine filled with insane ramblings. The unnamed spelunker had titled the photos “Instar – Series”. Earlier, Vic had watched in grim silence as the entire group waited with bated breath as Bill’s trembling hands pulled the cloth covers from the easels displaying the shots. The pictures drew gasps, followed by an instant burst of chatter. Vic felt bile rise in his throat. Like with everything else that he’d seen and heard, he lacked the inherent joy that was splashed across the grins and bright eyes of everyone else. The pictures reminded him of the scratching below his floor and the hissing whispers that filled his head when he spoke certain words or read certain phrases. He would never admit it, but the photos made his guts churn; the last time he felt this way was watching his father go after his mother with a belt when he was eight. Later, after his run in with Casper, Vic figured that Bill might be able to answer some questions. Sitting now in Bill’s ornate den, however, with a third, cloth-covered easel sitting by the fire, Vic found himself clenching and unclenching his hands around the arms of his club chair. Bill sat behind a cherry desk, the biggest Vic had ever seen, lighting a French cigarette with one liver-splotched hand. Vic’s assessment of Bill was that he was a smart, cruel man betrayed by the inexorable tides of time. Bill’s mind was as sharp as ever but his palsied hands, frayed vocal cords, and use of a cane belied a weakness Vic could tell galled the man. Bill blew a swirling cloud of smoke up into the vaulted air and looked at Vic. “What did you think of the photos tonight, Victor?” Bill’s rheumy blue eyes locked with Vic’s. Vic paused, understanding that this question was not idle. “I dunno, I don’t tink I got the same message as everybuddy else, you know what I mean?” “That’s because you haven’t learned enough, but that will come with time. I’ve lived long enough to run my hands in the primordial rivers of the earth, and I’ve seen the crypts of ancient gods, but as they say Rome wasn’t built in a day. You’ll learn the truth in time.” “Yea, about dat… Casper was goin’ on about some ‘Igmem’ bullshit and I was wonderi—” Bill chuckled, drawing deep on his cigarette before letting out a series of hacking, pestilent coughs. “Casper is ambitious, isn’t he? Tremendous intelligence, but again, limited in experience and wisdom. Time will prove out a great many riches to be laid upon Casper’s head.” Bill stared into the middle distance and fell silent. Vic waited a beat and replied “Uh, yeah, okay Bill, but who is Igmem?” “Igmem is the Cockroach King, Victor. There are scholars of our unknown vistas that believe a divergence occurred billions of years ago, a divergence that will eventually wipe Homo sapiens from the rock on which we stand. If we’re the current superior form of the apes, serving the gods of man, what do you think the evolved insects might look like? What gods do you think they might serve?” In Vic’s mind he pictured a chittering wave of black carapaces rising over the skyline of New York, enough to blot the sunlight from his face – rising, rising, rising – and finally crashing, suffocating the wailing din of the warm blooded as a billion billion tiny gnawing mouths consumed all. His face paled as Bill continued. “I believe from my conversations with the boy that he thinks he’s stumbled onto a rite of rebirth. There are many such litanies scattered hither and yon, Victor, but the more erudite of we acolytes know that most are rubbish. I do not know if Casper has found something true, but if he has it will be a key to his immortality.”Bill shrugged, chuckling wryly. “I wouldn’t put too much thought into this. For years I chased the same kind of goal and as you can see nothing has borne out. I know you and Casper aren’t friends, but if you’re interested in knowing more, I recommend you visit the proprietors of Red Ram Vineyards in the north. I understand Casper has been seen there frequently as of late. You can also just go pay a Casper a visit if you’d like.” Bill passed a small white business card with an address in flowing cursive written on its face. The cold cut of Bill’s smile made Vic feel like he had a leash attached to his neck. He got the feeling Bill wouldn’t mind seeing Vic or Casper over a barrel; sadists rarely cared who got the knife as long as they got to watch. Bill stubbed his cigarette out on a silver ashtray. The conversation was over. Vic stood, thanked Bill for his time and was about to leave when Bill asked “Victor, would you like to see the final Instar? I didn’t think it appropriate for the younger children, but for you…” Bill gestured towards the easel. Should Vic agree to see the picture? A. Yes B. No How should Vic follow up on Bill’s information? A. Hit the Books – Vic hasn’t been frightened of anything since he was a kid, but this poo poo is making him uneasy. B. Visit Red Ram – Vic had visited this winery before; the owner was a pair of fat Oregonians who got a kick out of Vic’s accent. Maybe they know more than they let on? C. Visit Casper’s House – The kid could certainly use a beating, but was Vic ready to give him one? typos!! sephiRoth IRA fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Jul 25, 2019 |
# ? Jul 25, 2019 19:31 |
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# ? Apr 26, 2024 06:23 |
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Pardon the new username, everyone, I got drunk and made myself laugh at my own dumb joke enough to spend money on it.
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# ? Jul 25, 2019 19:58 |