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| i just print everything at the office because stealing office supplies rules |
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191 | 38.28% |
| *printer making a bunch of random noises and taking 5 minutes to print a loving document |
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104 | 20.84% |
| that scene from office space |
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89 | 17.84% |
| goku traveling printer repair tech. hates his life and job. |
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115 | 23.05% |
| Total: | 315 votes | ||
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EorayMel posted:It also does so whenever the gently caress it wants after every 2 weeks or so, especially in the middle of the night. It's usually when I have a train to catch and need to print the ticket asap and leave.
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Jul 26, 2019 07:37
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Kazak posted:This is a big pain in the rear end. Always run your diabolical prints through multiple printers or better yet print on a letterpress 
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Jul 26, 2019 07:40
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Kharnifex posted:With the small cheap brother lasers you need to put them into continuous print mode and constantly battle the software that's actually what's good about brother is that they work out of the box with no fancy software that requires it's own proprietary bullshit login for whatever ~reasons~. the only thing I had to do was set it to a static IP because it would change IPs too often and my computer would get confused, but i think that's a basic staple of all printers is a static ip. also i'll go 6 months without printing anything and then randomly do one and it works just fine printing out in less than a minute.
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Jul 26, 2019 07:43
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Btw multiple printers does nothing, for example my manufacturer prints the serial number of the copier nearly invisibly all over each print/copy. If you are trying to do something illegal or that you don't want the government to know about, don't print/copy it.
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Jul 26, 2019 07:46
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the dude who comes in to fix our ATM is a fat troll of a man and clearly hates life and drives a pontiac minivan full of garbage the other dude who fixes our other poo poo drives a black range rover and hes pretty alright im not sure why there is a such a discrepancy between the two, their jobs are really similar, but one is like a nasty man and the other is not could just be all the other poo poo going on in their lives
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Jul 26, 2019 07:51
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I wish Steve Jobs would rise from the grave and sell us $699 printers that just work
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Jul 26, 2019 08:10
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Printers are the interface between the computer world and our world, i.e. literal rifts into hell.
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Jul 26, 2019 09:16
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For the last year or so at my company we have just bought whole new Xerox printers whenever one of them has complained about needing a fuser unit, since the latter costs like ~£300 whereas the entire printer is less than that after cashbacks, and as a bonus you get a set of basic toners too. So we've got like 4 that are sat unused in the warehouse because they need a part that costs more than the whole thing does. That's my printer story thanks.
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Jul 26, 2019 09:27
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My printer story goes like this; my supervisor sighed and complained because the printer wasn't working. I took a quick look at it and did some simple troubleshooting and came to the conclusion that the HP wasn't recognizing the non-name-brand cartridge and that we just needed to buy the HP kind because it's fussy like that. She looked confused and said, "No that's not it. It's broken, I'll order us a new one." My reply, "no, honestly, we just need to buy HP brand stuff for this, it's not broken, just finnicky and picky. Some printers are like that, there's code in the programming that gives it instructions to only work with proprietary hardware." "Huh? No, it's broken, I'll call maintenance" "Well, ok, but... ok, you know best, I'ma go file my reports. I'll be in the back if you need me." A few minutes later she heads to the back, "You were right, it was just the cartridge. How did you know?" "Years and years of working with them, thank you, it's cool. Glad we figured it out." "Why are printers like that?" "Technological hegemony, we have allowed companies to continue to sell us a shoddy product and we keep buying it. If we all got together and abstained from buying them until they came out with better, we'd advance, but they make too much money off of how affordable and cheap they are, so they're not going to change" "What?" "It's a vicious cycle, but we're not going to stop buying them out of necessity." "huh?" "um.. printers are crappy because we keep buying them that way so they make them crappier to sell more" "So, do we need a new one?" "No, not yet, anyway." Then last night I came to work only to find that both printers were down, so I took a quick look and nobody had bothered to replace the toners. They didn't even bother to tell me anything. We had a big stack of them in the supply closet too. PLUS 3 opened up paper reams still with half of the paper in each. *does impression of the confused Jackie Chan meme*
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Jul 26, 2019 09:50
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Printers refusing to work with anything but Genuine®™ toners is a fucken racket. We bought a new Xerox, not a big beast one, just one for one of the managers in the office. It eventually ran out of Genuine®™ black toner. No big deal I thought, I'll just get a "compatible" toner cartridge like I did for the model we had before it. Nope it wouldn't accept it. Tried another one from a different supplier, same deal. Turns out that because it was a new model the software hadn't been "cracked" yet to allow compatible toners to work on it. So yeah, it's sat on the floor of the manager's office because faced with a choice between spending £100 on a Genuine®™ toner cartridge, probably 1/3 of what the whole printer cost, for a printer he maybe uses once or twice a day to print a few sheets, and walking to the big managed printer in the main office... it's a no-brainer. Compatible cartridges are about 1/4 of that price. £100+ for toner is daylight robbery.
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Jul 26, 2019 10:02
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Agreed. And it sucks that you have to go through like 3 of the cheap ones before you figure out that the printer's picky.
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Jul 26, 2019 10:07
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...or when dumbasses slam in a new ink cartridge with the plastic tab/film still on it and sit there wondering why it doesn’t work... followed by days of ignoring the problem before finally calling for help and being shown how much of an idiot they are. My favorite is the 60+ olds that buy a $80 printer from Walmart, have no clue how to read or set it up and expects it to just work like magic right out of the box. Then if the slightest issue comes up, it’s back in the box and they buy another cheap one... I met some people with 5 or 6 barely used printers stacked up because they “didn’t work”. It’s insanity!
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Jul 26, 2019 10:36
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If you have a 3D-printer you can replace the print head with a pen and now you have a vector printer that'd probably take 20 minutes to write a full page of text, but at least you could make it look really nice 
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Jul 26, 2019 10:57
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lol ^ : xpost Side story: I was practicing drawing muscles and I left a picture of former Governor Schwarzenegger flexing in the big machine by accident, only to have my supervisor find it and freak out and exclaim that she works with a pervert. She turned it in to management and I was super embarrassed, but then went to fess up as the office pervert and explain that it was for art, not for ogling. Management had a good laugh about it.
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Jul 26, 2019 11:07
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Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:just get an old dot matrix printer, the kind that will just print whatever characters it receives over the parallel port Yes because there’s nothing like hearing SKREEEEE ZRRRT ZRRRT ZRRRT AIEEEEE at 200 decibels while it takes for loving ever to print something I agree that modern home printers are total loving trash but yesterday’s technology had its own issues.
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Jul 26, 2019 13:32
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ive had a brother 2280dw for like 8 years. usb, ethernet, wireless, prints both sides, prints fast, toner lasts long as gently caress, uses cheap generic toner with no problems, has a scanner built in, costed like $50 maybe youre just an idiot op? 
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Jul 26, 2019 13:38
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Xaris posted:You should checkout an Epson Stylus 7600, it's an old printer but it's a beast. We buy giant bottles of CCMMYKK ink and just fill em up with a syringe, it's cheap. Pretty good print quality when set to microweave and 720p. We print all our large 24x36 files on it. Now, thats an actual printer, not a mechanism for moving an expensive cartridge around. I have gone through 3 scanner/printers in exactly the same way: something heavy falls on them and smashes the scanner glass, I must be suffering from a weirdly specific curse.
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Jul 26, 2019 13:59
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Peachfart posted:Btw multiple printers does nothing, for example my manufacturer prints the serial number of the copier nearly invisibly all over each print/copy. What company? Our Xerox only prints the tiny faint yellow dots as far as I can tell, I scanned a sheet back in at 1500dpi to look for the lil snitches
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Jul 26, 2019 14:39
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Just print on yellow paper, then they can't prove nothin 
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Jul 26, 2019 15:51
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Peachfart posted:Btw multiple printers does nothing, for example my manufacturer prints the serial number of the copier nearly invisibly all over each print/copy. the point is to hi-res scan each print and then print it on a chain of different machines so the steganographic dots come from everywhere and don't mean anything, not "print it a bunch of times" lol
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Jul 26, 2019 18:53
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There's an old rear end OKI printer in my office at work and every time I print something, it takes like 4 minutes to warm up. When it's done, it smells like my office is on fire. It's probably giving me cancer lol
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Jul 26, 2019 19:50
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laser printer>inkjet If you use an inkjet printer please remove yourself from my presence
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Jul 26, 2019 21:09
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It's nice to have something at home to print a package label or a recipe or something. The Brother DCP-1610W I've got is like the size of a picknick basket but it scans and prints and works half the time over wifi and was the cheapest option. All the people who come into the store where I work and we take packages on the side and act indignant when I tell them they need to print their label at home: gently caress you. Get a printer and hate it like the rest of us. The Epson 7880 at work has spontaneously decided it'll drop itself from the network every time you'll turn it on, and then the PC we print from will be like "yeah there's a printer, here's the ink levels. You should prolly buy a new maintenance tank soon. What, you want to print something? No that printer's offline you idiot, you absolute buffoon." Reboot the PC and oh, there it is. For now.
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Jul 26, 2019 21:17
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I worked at an airport which was basically printer hell. Every airline had its own profile at the station with its own suite of applications, then the company had its own directories or WANs to deal with. Printers would regularly fall into a service desk impasse where the airport couldn't do anything because it was airline software, and the airline IT desk could do gently caress all because it was airport hardware. It is also the only place I know of that buys new Dot Matrix printers. I am not sure if that's cost savings, contractual obligation, or just archaic reservation software needing that printer specifically.
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Jul 26, 2019 21:42
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How are Samsung printers? My theory is that they were developed outside of the prevailing printer cartel so they might not be as poo poo
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Jul 27, 2019 12:23
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it will be like 2519 and printers will still suck rear end
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Jul 27, 2019 17:39
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At an old job I had to drive all over a state to various law enforcement agencies, pick up their old hardware, install new HW and configure our software. Part of that was taking away these old Okidata dot matrix workhorses for some HP bubblejet crap. In some cases we are talking about printers that run all day. It could be the primary terminal in a metro police department where they want to print every transmission, like every plate or ID they run, every transmission from other state or even federal agencies, everything. I left knowing they were getting a poo poo deal but I assume the state had picked the hardware.
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Jul 27, 2019 17:48
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feeding and lining up dot matrix printers was something i was really good at. also dialing rotary phones, basic programming on a commodore 64, and littering while not getting caught
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Jul 27, 2019 17:58
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Gonna get extremely specific here and vent about garbage rear end Zebras and knockofs of Zebras and the business systems you end up plugging into them. As far as I've learned they only take proprietary garbage input for which no WYSIWG utilities exist so you're always trying to make it work 16 steps back and noone under 40 understands why the little text is showing up at the bottom instead of the bottom of some subdivision so it takes like 2 weeks to do the equivalent of select and move. Then you get everything working and they bought the cheap label stock with backing that just flakes off inside the fucker and gums up the rollers including the thermal print head unless you thread it just so, in a way advised against in the manual. Home inkjets and office laser printers are a dream compared to those little shits.
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Jul 27, 2019 18:10
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How are Americans still buying printers with cartridges in 2019? Every printer I've seen for the past decade in Asia comes with an ink well built in. They used to mod printers to have ink wells, so the manufacturers just decided to sell them that way. It's great. I print color all day every day.
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Jul 27, 2019 18:17
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zedprime posted:Gonna get extremely specific here and vent about garbage rear end Zebras and knockofs of Zebras and the business systems you end up plugging into them. As far as I've learned they only take proprietary garbage input for which no WYSIWG utilities exist so you're always trying to make it work 16 steps back and noone under 40 understands why the little text is showing up at the bottom instead of the bottom of some subdivision so it takes like 2 weeks to do the equivalent of select and move. We use Zebras down in the mailroom. They're tied in to some cartloader systems and every time a cart is ejected with paper bundles in it, it spits out a label with a truck number and address zone and number of bundles on the cart. They're slow as molasses and loving suck to work with, I hate them, but it's the newspaper industry so lol at trying to convince someone to spend money on new things.
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Jul 27, 2019 18:18
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Chinatown posted:please consider the environment before printing this thread Lol someone I work with uses this and I have to get poo poo from her printed all the time and that line always uses another sheet of paper but I print it out of spite
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Jul 27, 2019 18:24
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I don't understand why you guys don't all have these:   If I buy official jugs of ink, it costs me less than $10 to refill all three colors. This lasts for... years? I think I've refilled it twice total. Only downside is that you need to print somewhat regularly to keep the lines from drying out. But we've gone weeks without printing anything without a problem, so far.
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Jul 27, 2019 18:54
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I once spent several hours trying to coax my lovely printer into scanning my timesheet into a format that my employer would accept. Compared to mobile phones, printers are hilariously backwards technologies.
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Jul 27, 2019 19:34
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Play posted:yeah I'm not sure about that. I'm convinced that a lot of the problems we have is due to our office manager dude being a penny pinching little bitch Or the printers sabotage themselves when you put in a generic cartridge. I know some HPs won't print until you agree that using this non-Genuine™ cart voids your warranty.
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Jul 27, 2019 20:42
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Atlas Hugged posted:I don't understand why you guys don't all have these: They don't sell Inkwell stuff in my country.
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Jul 27, 2019 21:17
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anyone ever have one of those solid wax printers that took like 20 minutes to warm up
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Jul 27, 2019 21:50
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Has anyone ever used a 3D printer to make a 2D printer?
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Jul 27, 2019 22:02
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my father is a salesman for one of the 3 largest corporations in the world that build industrial sized printers (2 japanese, 1 german) his largest client is the department of engraving, because my dad literally sells machines that print money ama about 3/5 colors, 7 colors with toner, LCD printing (which only exists in japan and is basically just a meme) and how much he hates dealing with "the loving germans." also have some printing porn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClAN1XYydCg&t=133s
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Jul 27, 2019 22:03
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 08:20 |
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FizFashizzle posted:my father is a salesman for one of the 3 largest corporations in the world that build industrial sized printers (2 japanese, 1 german) How many counterfeiting jokes/temptations did he encounter or tell you about?
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Jul 27, 2019 22:05
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