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Defenestrategy
Oct 24, 2010

Worst decision I ever made.


movax posted:

I install Cloud to Butt on any unlocked computer I find.

Same, but Guns to Keytar

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Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!





Wrr posted:

Should tank drivers have seat belts or would that only slow them down when trying to evac and the tank shouldn't be flipping and poo poo to require it?

I've been in lots of AAVs and MGSs with seatbelts, and I've never seen anyone wear one inside of them. I can't imagine it's any different for 19Ks. The only 'seat belt' I've ever used or really seen used is a gunners restraint harness.

DarkDobe
Jul 11, 2008

Things are looking up...


Canadian LAVs have seatbelts but you can tell nobody wears the things when the vehicles roll over (every year baby!) and everyone inside gets mashed up like they got rattled around in a tin can.

Leviathan Song
Sep 8, 2010


Next time I'm in the cable shop I need to get a picture of the cable stretcher. That's a completely standard tool for flight control cables and I have no idea why it's being treated like blinker fluid or a sky hook.

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007





Leviathan Song posted:

Next time I'm in the cable shop I need to get a picture of the cable stretcher. That's a completely standard tool for flight control cables and I have no idea why it's being treated like blinker fluid or a sky hook.

https://youtu.be/-FhrDcQwOzc

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!





Leviathan Song posted:

Next time I'm in the cable shop I need to get a picture of the cable stretcher. That's a completely standard tool for flight control cables and I have no idea why it's being treated like blinker fluid or a sky hook.

I used to switch it up when I was a carpenter, I'd ask someone if they had a board stretcher after making a cut a little too short or something.

Pikehead
Dec 3, 2006

Looking for WMDs, PM if you have A+ grade stuff


Fun Shoe

GD_American posted:

My first field problem ever, they locked me in the switch and told me if I had a problem, the TMs were right there. I thought it was a hazing thing, but no, they legit locked me in until chow and locked me back up.

I loving despised them after two days of that poo poo. But I became a really loving good operator, so there's something to be said about throwing them off in the deep end.

I'm not familiar with this - they locked you in a switch? What's a switch in this context?

TM would mean Technical Manual?

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

I ate too much crab and transformed into this.



DarkDobe posted:

Canadian LAVs have seatbelts but you can tell nobody wears the things when the vehicles roll over (every year baby!) and everyone inside gets mashed up like they got rattled around in a tin can.

Would it matter too much with boxes of ammo flying around? We had that issue with armored trucks having cages in the back but when the trucks rolled the loose coin boxes would fly around and gently caress up the guy in the back pretty badly.

DarkDobe
Jul 11, 2008

Things are looking up...


Crab Dad posted:

Would it matter too much with boxes of ammo flying around? We had that issue with armored trucks having cages in the back but when the trucks rolled the loose coin boxes would fly around and gently caress up the guy in the back pretty badly.

I think most of the time when we have these incidents, it's a mixture of folks not wearing belts and the hatches being opened with people stickin' out.
They have five point harnesses on the gunner and driver seats - and even something crazy top-heavy like the new TAPV has seats with harnesses that are on their own suspension rig attached to the ceiling (pretty sure that's for shock absorption from explosives) - but they tip over easy, too.

GD_American
Jul 21, 2004

427 TOTALLY LEGITIMATE, DEFENSIBLE NATIONAL TITLES AND COUNTING


Pikehead posted:

I'm not familiar with this - they locked you in a switch? What's a switch in this context?

TM would mean Technical Manual?

Oh, yeah, Signal speak, sorry. Mobile telephone switch. The previous (or poo poo, is it now two?) generation's tactical phone network, with an operator in a box on the back of a Humvee.

And yeah, Technical Manual.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

MESS WITH THE OWL GET DISEMBOWEL





Wasabi the J posted:

Ctrl + Alt + (down/left/right)

I walked back to the engineroom one day to see one of my sailors (Pants-making GBS threads Racist) with a laptop perched on its side, squinting furiously and trying to use the touchpad to navigate. Had a laugh and showed him how to fix it.

A few months later I get called in to work to relieve the other mechanic on duty, because PSR had gotten so mad at the other guy doing that to him, then locking the computer (ctrl+alt+up doesn't work until you log in) that he had punched the laptop to death, and would break down rage sobbing every time he saw the other duty mechanic.

Stupid gently caress got to stand both watches for the rest of the night, because I wasn't qualified to stand Shutdown Roving Watch anymore.

I am infinitely grateful I don't have to work with that motherfucker anymore.

Wrr
Aug 8, 2010





Its not even stretching the cable. Its just holding onto it and pushing the lever thingy back

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


Wild T posted:

The classic Windows 95 era trick was to take a screenshot of their desktop, move all their icons into a folder and drag it offscreen. Lower the task bar all the way, too. Then set the picture of desktop as the background.

Folks will be madly clicking on everything thinking their computer has frozen. gently caress. I'm old.

I did this with a screenshot of my outlook inbox. Until the AF locked down desktop backgrounds and screen savers, I was able to just leave my computer running and go to the restroom or whatever. Nobody had enough time to figure out why their pranks weren't working.

For CACs, we usually taped over the chip or drew dumb poo poo with dry erase markers, or taped it to the office doorframe. We zapped (squadron sticker on the back) some SSgt's at another base because he left it in a computer over the weekend while we, uh, visited their empty building.

Flikken
Oct 22, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it


Godholio posted:

I did this with a screenshot of my outlook inbox. Until the AF locked down desktop backgrounds and screen savers, I was able to just leave my computer running and go to the restroom or whatever. Nobody had enough time to figure out why their pranks weren't working.

For CACs, we usually taped over the chip or drew dumb poo poo with dry erase markers, or taped it to the office doorframe. We zapped (squadron sticker on the back) some SSgt's at another base because he left it in a computer over the weekend while we, uh, visited their empty building.

I like to flip the display and then change it portrait and also rearrange the monitor s in multiple displays.

Bonus points for increasing mouse sensitivity.

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL



GD_American posted:

Oh, yeah, Signal speak, sorry. Mobile telephone switch. The previous (or poo poo, is it now two?) generation's tactical phone network, with an operator in a box on the back of a Humvee.

And yeah, Technical Manual.

Good ol memories of the AN/TTC-42 cropping up now

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!



Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?


Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013





Cyberpunk 2077 movie adaptation looking... mediocre.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

Man-oh-man, Cowboy looks like a bag of leftovers from a V.F.W. barbecue. Of
course, I've got nothing against dead people. Why, some of my best friends are dead

Carth Dookie posted:

Cyberpunk 2077 movie adaptation looking... mediocre.

Not sure if trolling or unaware of Marvel movies

GD_American
Jul 21, 2004

427 TOTALLY LEGITIMATE, DEFENSIBLE NATIONAL TITLES AND COUNTING


PathAsc posted:

Good ol memories of the AN/TTC-42 cropping up now

We didn't play with those (Marines? USAF? Can't remember). I was in an AN/TTC-47 (Node Center, Echelon Corps Below), but I'm sure the suck was similar.

Only the DoD could buy its own proprietary digital voice and data network....in 1989.

(For those non-Signal folks, this was MSE, Mobile Subscriber Equipment. Switches and phone hookups in humvee shelters. They tried keeping it limping it along for years by attaching commercial routers, but by the time I deployed in 2004 it was already laughably obsolete.)

Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013



UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:

Not sure if trolling or unaware of Marvel movies

I am aware of the Marvel movies, I just saw that picture and saw parallels between the Winter Soldier and Johnny Sivlerhand character designs.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Bleak Gremlin


https://twitter.com/MikaelThalen/status/1376653334396903428

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!



"notice to delete it occurred telephonically" is so loving military.

Brute Squad
Dec 20, 2006

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human race






for some homegrown thread content, our new IKs. volunteering is for rubes.

stinkypete
Nov 27, 2007
wow



I was the Idiot this time I might have shared this story before.

We found this siren unit from a cop car and being the nerds we were we found power supply to power it. We were now in command of a 120 watt PA with 4 siren sounds. We were giddy with our new found treasure!

Let me tell you we were being true Idiots and lit up that siren like we were a stationary Ambulance for 10 minutes.
We then thought it would be funny to start reciting mathematical equations over the PA.
Then more math problems were told. I am not sure why that was a good idea at the time. Still not sure why but we were laughing our asses off all through this.

I think someone said "Hey we might get caught" so radio silence commenced.

We all still got caught.

Remulak
Jun 8, 2001

The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics. Oh, and that stupid children's book 'The Little Prince,' ugh.


Yams Fan

Wow, brings back a memory of a cop that thought a great second date would start with HIS kids serenading my friend with PA and sirens. It turned out GREAT, a touching ending!

She had enough connections to make sure that he never contacted her again.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

"That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."



A guy from my high school went into weird conceptual performance art for a while. One of his works was to recreate a police car, and get a performer to pull up in the car at the exhibition opening dressed as a police officer and serenade the attendees with "Can't take my eyes off you". The actual police station was one block away.

http://www.west-denhaag.nl/artists/Simon_Gush/0/24/

He also did a thing where he sold an artwork called "21 Gun Salute for the Death of a Collector". The totality of the artwork was a contract (and money put in trust) requiring the purchaser to have a 21-gun salute at their funeral.

http://www.west-denhaag.nl/artists/Simon_Gush/0/35/

Ataxerxes
Dec 1, 2011

What is a soldier but a miserable pile of eaten cats and strange language?


Speaking of guns and idiots, a few years back the Swedish royal family was visiting Finland and when they landed in Helsinki harbor they got a multi-gun salute (with vintage cannons) from a re-enactor group dressed in Swedish early 19th century uniforms. The group had informed the police well in advance, but the cops on duty that day hadn't gotten the memo and so they got calls to the tune of "who is firing cannons in the harbor when the royals are coming?" and didn't know what the hell was happening. It was sorted out eventually, as someone found the notice from the cannon group and the whole official visit wasn't disturbed, but the cops racing down to the harbor on reports of cannon fire must have been really confused for a while

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Lead out in cuffs posted:

A guy from my high school went into weird conceptual performance art for a while. One of his works was to recreate a police car, and get a performer to pull up in the car at the exhibition opening dressed as a police officer and serenade the attendees with "Can't take my eyes off you". The actual police station was one block away.

http://www.west-denhaag.nl/artists/Simon_Gush/0/24/

He also did a thing where he sold an artwork called "21 Gun Salute for the Death of a Collector". The totality of the artwork was a contract (and money put in trust) requiring the purchaser to have a 21-gun salute at their funeral.

http://www.west-denhaag.nl/artists/Simon_Gush/0/35/

That 2nd one is rad tho

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.



It's been a while... Let me tell you about:

SHADOWBLADE

In Korea we got a new guy. Seemed like the normal, quiet, small, nerdy guy. More or less the flag ship for when others thought of our MOS. He had a deep, dark secret. On his back was a full tattoo of a giant dragon. We are talking full back, no space left. poo poo must have taken weeks to complete. Granted, the nerd meter was off the charts, but he gained some respect for the commitment. As he attempted to integrate everyone felt he was... off. He never went drinking with us, only chilled in his barracks room. We all figured he was Mormon and left it at that.

His barracks room was an unique situation. We had two buildings. One brand new, the other slated for demolition and rebuild. It was the last "old" building left. The few people in that building had their own rooms. They were large, and no one complained. It was the "perk" of staying in the old building. The place wasn't a total shithole, just old. So we figured he liked the solitude, that's why he spent so much time alone.

Legend of his tattoo work quickly spread. Everyone wanted to know: how long? How much? Why?!? What does it mean? Turns out, there was meaning. A dark meaning. You see, he explained, that epic dragon tattoo was his real name. His TRUE name. SHADOWBLADE.

"Wait... what?!?"

We demand an explanation. He provides. Turns out, he isn't actually a human. He is the reincarnated spirit of a great alien warrior. The tattoo represents his TRUE name, SHADOWBLADE. He must live this life with honor, so when he dies he can return to his home planet once again. It is the reason he joined the Army, to ensure honorable death by combat. He joined as a satellite guy. If we see combat something went wrong (so horribly wrong) or we were VERY unlucky with taskings. Que his free mental health screening! Doc says he is fine, just really weird. We are unsure and slightly fearful of him now.

One day he doesn't show up for PT. Calls for SHADOWBLADE ring out in the morning darkness. We search, they unlock his room, of course it is trashed. No sign of him though. We search for some hours, still no luck. Eventually two of us are tasked to stand guard by his open room door to catch him when he returns. One of the NCOs show up to check on us two privates. He informs us that the search is ongoing, hold in there, after 24 hours we can say he is AWOL and stand down guards and what not. At least there is a end to the madness.

Then the moaning starts. Everyone freezes, looks at each other, then at the giant pile of laundry on the floor. Another moan. Holy poo poo, he is hiding under the laundry. Was he asleep? He's been there for a while. Clothes are removed from the pile to find SHADOWBLADE. He had made a nest of cough syrup bottles and dirty laundry. We had discovered his shame, the true reason he was sent to earth to atone. He loved to drink bottles of cough syrup until he passed out. Turns out he was the reason the small PX on our base had to start buying limits on the poo poo. He spent almost everything he had on the poo poo.

We know he got sent to a hospital, eventually chaptered. Can't for the life of me remember the dudes real name, always wanted to see what he was up to.

Scratch Monkey
Oct 25, 2010

Proč bychom se netěšili když nám Pán Bůh zdraví dá?


Uh his name was SHADOWBLADE duh

BIG HEADLINE
Jun 13, 2006

Make your move...'cause mine's gonna be ugly.

Kinda reminds me of that story with the psychopathic kid who thought he was a Super Saiyan.

But with a way less ending.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

What, Me Worry?


writing spirit bomb on piss bottles and chucking them out the barracks window

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.



BIG HEADLINE posted:

Kinda reminds me of that story with the psychopathic kid who thought he was a Super Saiyan.

But with a way less ending.

Yeah, everyone expected some grand meltdown. Maybe even the discovery of a "list".

He just fizzled out and went away. The strangest part was he was (relatively) normal except for the fact he believed he was reincarnated alien warrior (and the drug abuse).

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.



I mean, wouldn't you go a-robotrippin' to cope if you were a reincarnated alien warrior?

Sacrist65
Mar 24, 2007
Frunnkiss

I had to train a late thirties cross trainee from a non technical field. She was okay at the material but training her was a chore because she smelled like cat piss and didn't wash her hair.

I brought this up to superiors but nobody wanted to bother because they weren't in close enough proximity to care. So as a 21 year old I had to give the hygiene talk to a woman who could have been my mother.

She did LARPing on the weekends.

Wasabi the J
Jan 23, 2008



Holy poo poo dude I'm a 25S and the "old building" thing sounds like it would have happened when 25S barracks were getting moved in 2006, or a bit before then. Back then the 25S MOSQ unit was 447 then it went to 551 or something and we moved to refurbished barracks that allegedly had black mold and poo poo. I remember the new (to me) building felt shittier than the old one on the inside but we had new wall lockers and beds, so it was an overall upgrade. But I also think I remember hearing from the old timers of the AIT unit (basically delinquents waiting for a discharge or some other administrative limbo) that this was their second move from barracks buildings.

Anyways I can't be sure where our stories nearly intersect, but being such a small world I can't help that ours almost do.

One of my MOS classmates was taking packs of CCC recreationally in Gordon Hall. 2007 was a wild time.

Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 18:58 on Apr 2, 2021

Ataxerxes
Dec 1, 2011

What is a soldier but a miserable pile of eaten cats and strange language?


BIG HEADLINE posted:

Kinda reminds me of that story with the psychopathic kid who thought he was a Super Saiyan.

But with a way less ending.

Wait, what was that?

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.



Wasabi the J posted:

Holy poo poo dude I'm a 25S and the "old building" thing sounds like it would have happened when 25S barracks were getting moved in 2006, or a bit before then. Back then the 25S MOSQ unit was 447 then it went to 551 or something and we moved to refurbished barracks that allegedly had black mold and poo poo. I remember the new (to me) building felt shittier than the old one on the inside but we had new wall lockers and beds, so it was an overall upgrade. But I also think I remember hearing from the old timers of the AIT unit (basically delinquents waiting for a discharge or some other administrative limbo) that this was their second move from barracks buildings.

Anyways I can't be sure where our stories nearly intersect, but being such a small world I can't help that ours almost do.

One of my MOS classmates was taking packs of CCC recreationally in Gordon Hall. 2007 was a wild time.

I was in Korea, Camp Carroll around 2004ish. Back then we were 31S... That is odd they moved the MOSQ guys to 447 for you, we just had a PLT of the guys going through 1C and the MOSQ, never left 551.

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PookBear
Nov 1, 2008


Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's going to die.


ASAPI posted:

It's been a while... Let me tell you about :

SHADOWBLADE

In Korea we got a new guy. Seemed like the normal, quiet, small, nerdy guy. More or less the flag ship for when others thought of our MOS. He had a deep, dark secret. On his back was a full tattoo of a giant dragon. We are talking full back, no space left. poo poo must have taken weeks to complete. Granted, the nerd meter was off the charts, but he gained some respect for the commitment. As he attempted to integrate everyone felt he was... off. He never went drinking with us, only chilled in his barracks room. We all figured he was Mormon and left it at that.

His barracks room was an unique situation. We had two buildings. One brand new, the other slated for demolition and rebuild. It was the last "old" building left. The few people in that building had their own rooms. They were large, and no one complained. It was the "perk" of staying in the old building. The place wasn't a total shithole, just old. So we figured he liked the solitude, that's why he spent so much time alone.

Legend of his tattoo work quickly spread. Everyone wanted to know: how long? How much? Why?!? What does it mean? Turns out, there was meaning. A dark meaning. You see, he explained, that epic dragon tattoo was his real name. His TRUE name. SHADOWBLADE.

"Wait... what?!?"

We demand an explanation. He provides. Turns out, he isn't actually a human. He is the reincarnated spirit of a great alien warrior. The tattoo represents his TRUE name, SHADOWBLADE. He must live this life with honor, so when he dies he can return to his home planet once again. It is the reason he joined the Army, to ensure honorable death by combat. He joined as a satellite guy. If we see combat something went wrong (so horribly wrong) or we were VERY unlucky with taskings. Que his free mental health screening! Doc says he is fine, just really weird. We are unsure and slightly fearful of him now.

One day he doesn't show up for PT. Calls for SHADOWBLADE ring out in the morning darkness. We search, they unlock his room, of course it is trashed. No sign of him though. We search for some hours, still no luck. Eventually two of us are tasked to stand guard by his open room door to catch him when he returns. One of the NCOs show up to check on us two privates. He informs us that the search is ongoing, hold in there, after 24 hours we can say he is AWOL and stand down guards and what not. At least there is a end to the madness.

Then the moaning starts. Everyone freezes, looks at each other, then at the giant pile of laundry on the floor. Another moan. Holy poo poo, he is hiding under the laundry. Was he asleep? He's been there for a while. Clothes are removed from the pile to find SHADOWBLADE. He had made a nest of cough syrup bottles and dirty laundry. We had discovered his shame, the true reason he was sent to earth to atone. He loved to drink bottles of cough syrup until he passed out. Turns out he was the reason the small PX on our base had to start buying limits on the poo poo. He spent almost everything he had on the poo poo.

We know he got sent to a hospital, eventually chaptered. Can't for the life of me remember the dudes real name, always wanted to see what he was up to.

was his name sean smith?

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