Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma

lordofthefishes: Mar 30, 2008; 01000111 01010010 01000101 01000101 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 01010011 00100000 01000110 01000101 01001100 01001100 01001111 01010111 00100000 01000011 01000001 01001110 01000001 01000100 01001001 01000001 01001110 01010011

canyoneer posted:

It is pretty neat that the guy who designed it was John Ericsson, brilliant naval inventor who invented the screw propeller, guided torpedo, and designed the ironclad USS Monitor. Ericsson was not present for the demonstration because he trusted his gun (Peacemaker), but doubted the construction and safety of Stockton's gun (Oregon).

The Orator (renamed Oregon) was Ericsson's design.

Peacemaker (the one which exploded) was Stockton's design.

Back to lurking for me.

E: A truly idiotic snipe on my part.

# ? Jan 24, 2022 23:02

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:44

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

lordofthefishes posted:

The Orator (renamed Oregon) was Ericsson's design.

Peacemaker (the one which exploded) was Stockton's design.

Back to lurking for me.

E: A truly idiotic snipe on my part.

Better shot than that cannon was :dadjoke:

# ? Jan 24, 2022 23:04

stealie72: Jan 10, 2007; Their eyes locked and suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass.
\

EvenWorseOpinions posted:

The iron cross predated nazi Germany, it's not necessarily assumed to be a nazi symbol in Germany in the same way you assume some things about a guy in the US sporting one, but it's not entirely disconnected from nazism either.

Feel like the rule of thumb is if one has to explain how something is not actually, strictly speaking, JUST a nazi symbol, one should steer clear of it. There should really be a pretty stark "gently caress those guys" with nazis.

# ? Jan 24, 2022 23:06

EvenWorseOpinions: Jun 10, 2017

Just saying there are specific contexts in which someone might be wearing it without being a nazi. Rule of thumb stands

E: Or apparently the newer medal they introduced is specifically supposed to be distinct from the Eisenkreuz and nvm I'm dumb

EvenWorseOpinions fucked around with this message at 23:23 on Jan 26, 2022

# ? Jan 24, 2022 23:19

Hyperlynx: Sep 13, 2015

Casimir Radon posted:

Some idiot I was in JROTC with, who thankfully didn’t end up joining the military, worked with my dad for a bit. I guess he’s into collecting Nazi guns now and will lecture anyone he can trap into a conversation about dumb Clean Wehrmacht poo poo. Also he’s a Trekkie.

Which is weird, because Star Trek is all about progressivism

# ? Jan 24, 2022 23:20

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Hyperlynx posted:

Which is weird, because Star Trek is all about progressivism

People�s ability to miss the point of media is on par with the accuracy of a Star Wars stormtrooper.

# ? Jan 24, 2022 23:22

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Icon Of Sin posted:

People’s ability to miss the point of media is on par with the accuracy of a Star Wars stormtrooper.

This is probably more deliberate than stupid, but still

# ? Jan 24, 2022 23:27

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Hyperlynx posted:

Which is weird, because Star Trek is all about progressivism

Yeah. Sci-Fi is full of idiots missing the point.

Guy is/was very religious. The reason he didn�t join the Marines was that he prayed on it and god told him not to.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 00:17

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

The number of people complaining about Star Trek being "woke nowadays" never ceases to amaze.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 02:32

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

First interracial make out session on TV.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 02:48

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

The only reason old Star Trek isn�t �woke� nowadays is because it was woke back then.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 02:56

Steezo: Jun 16, 2003; Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

FrozenVent posted:

The only reason old Star Trek isn�t �woke� nowadays is because it was woke back then.

I think sergeant majors like it for the episode where wesley gets sentenced to death for walking on the grass.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 11:32

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

CainFortea posted:

Is the iron cross still awarded in the german military?

Nope, there were some yokels that petitioned to get it awarded again because HERITAGE NOT HATE, but even despite the fact that it existed even before WW1, our DoD wouldn't touch it.

They came up with a new award called the Ehrenkreuz der Bundeswehr für Tapferkeit as an equivalent to the US MoH, and made all the Wehraboos real mad-like.

So yeah, that idiot with the tat just straight up got the old version of the iron cross and is full of poo poo.

Duzzy Funlop fucked around with this message at 12:57 on Jan 25, 2022

# ? Jan 25, 2022 11:58

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Steezo posted:

I think sergeant majors like it for the episode where wesley gets sentenced to death for walking on the grass.

*eye begins twitching*

It's me, I'm the idiot who has been poisoned by the Army and cannot completely stop the reaction before it starts.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 14:11

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

Didn't remember that episode and looked it up that's some uhhh innovative costume design

# ? Jan 25, 2022 14:42

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

shame on an IGA posted:

Didn't remember that episode and looked it up that's some uhhh innovative costume design

"Captain's log, Stardate 45372.1. We have entered orbit around the planet Mooseknuckle IV and made contact with the inhabitants."

Bill Theiss was a noted costume designer on the original series who was brought on to TNG because Roddenberry was an inveterate horndog and Theiss had a certain theme to his work.

https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/William_Ware_Theiss

# ? Jan 25, 2022 14:55

Grip it and rip it: Apr 28, 2020

bird food bathtub posted:

*eye begins twitching*

It's me, I'm the idiot who has been poisoned by the Army and cannot completely stop the reaction before it starts.

Sergeants major?

# ? Jan 25, 2022 15:50

US Berder Patrol: Jul 11, 2006; oorah

US Berder Patrol fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Feb 18, 2022

# ? Jan 25, 2022 15:51

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

I like how the eagle is flexing and showing off his big beefy arms

# ? Jan 25, 2022 16:01

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Those don't look like beefy arms to me. It looks like it's doing something else.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 16:30

Xakura: Jan 10, 2019; A safety-conscious little mouse!

canyoneer posted:

I like how the eagle is flexing and showing off his big beefy ~~arms~~

# ? Jan 25, 2022 16:33

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

you know what also predated the nazis?

the swastika

there's no "well actually..." for nazi stuff. sorry.

boop the snoot fucked around with this message at 16:47 on Jan 25, 2022

# ? Jan 25, 2022 16:45

Hobo on Fire: Dec 4, 2008

What's the German equivalent to a lance corporal with a sharpie in a port-a-shitter? Why did they let one design this medal?

Seriously, is that supposed to be the lower half of it's beak, or a money shot?

Hobo on Fire fucked around with this message at 16:51 on Jan 25, 2022

# ? Jan 25, 2022 16:49

MonkeyWash: Jan 14, 2005; Donkey Rinse

Hobo on Fire posted:

What's the German equivalent to a lance corporal with a sharpie in a port-a-shitter? Why did they let one design this medal?

Seriously, is that supposed to be the lower half of it's beak, or a money shot?

It looks like they even have veins, quality dick drawing

# ? Jan 25, 2022 17:29

madeintaipei: Jul 13, 2012

Hobo on Fire posted:

What's the German equivalent to a lance corporal with a sharpie in a port-a-shitter? Why did they let one design this medal?

Seriously, is that supposed to be the lower half of it's beak, or a money shot?

Too cheap for feathers. A plucked Adler.

Amusingly, the military version of the Bundesadler is, in fact, a lot more buff than any other.

It's the lower half of the beak. Eagles stick out their tongues when they really, really need to screech.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 17:34

Hobo on Fire: Dec 4, 2008

madeintaipei posted:

Too cheap for feathers. A plucked Adler.

Amusingly, the military version of the Bundesadler is, in fact, a lot more buff than any other.

It's the lower half of the beak. Eagles stick out their tongues when they really, really need to screech.

Ahh, lower beak + tongue, I see it now.

The bird is licking it's giant dick-arm, not giving itself a facial.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 17:41

madeintaipei: Jul 13, 2012

Hobo on Fire posted:

Ahh, lower beak + tongue, I see it now.

The bird is licking it's giant dick-arm, not giving itself a facial.

The Austrian Adler has two mouths.

Just sayin'

# ? Jan 25, 2022 18:23

NightGyr: Mar 7, 2005; I � Unicode

A story from reddit

quote:

We're doing this demo shoot, right? And we have this rear end in a top hat of a gunny who is all hard-charging about ensuring we know our explosives math that we never use.

So people are legit having to cut off 1/4 of a stick of C4 to blow a freakin' engineer stake in half, right? It's lame. Lame and boring.

My fireteam got a tree to make no longer exist. Sorry... orders were to knock it over. We succeeded with aplomb.

I myself checked the math of my fireteam, young corporal that I was. It was going to be 3/4's of a stick of C4 to cleanly sever that tree's trunk and make it fall over. It was a sturdy tree.

Now, I don't know if you've met a Marine, but I assure you being one, I would never trust a Marine's math. Especially my own.

Normally, we try to solve for P=pounds of explosive needed. You have to take into consideration the diameter of the tree, the type of wood/material, the rate of explosive being used... to solve for P which is pounds of explosives.

We just figured P=plenty, yeah? Ya don't call in the Marines when you want something gently and carefully absolutely destroyed overnight, now do ya? No. Marines come in to make an absolute scene about it.

So. I suggested to the gunny to use sandbags to reinforce and help direct the blast and ensure mission completion. He loved the idea, since it is a legit textbook-suggested engineer solution.

I ran over and filled a couple sandbags...

I also put (2) 1.25lbs of C4 into those sandbags. Each. That's (4) 1.25lbs of C4 more than the math said we needed. Which was under 1 stick for those keeping track.

And I come running back carrying "sand"-bags with detonation cord hanging out of them. (C4/B4 on a rope used to make things go boom together).

I quickly tie in the det cord and we get back our 300 meters.

Boom. Little engineer stake blows up. Boom. Another one. BOOOOOOOM. Our tree goes skyward.

We didn't knock it over. We launched it. This freakin' tree launches so high people are like, "Careful, that branch is coming our way!"

Nope. Not a branch. It was the whole drat tree. We launched that thing a few hundred meters up, towards us, and it crashed into the forest maybe 50 meters from us to the side.

And yes. A tree that was temporarily a rocket does make a sound when it falls in the woods.

The gunny turned right at me with a death glare as the Captain spun around and screamed, "NOW THAT WAS MOTIVATING! OOO-RAH!"

The gunny walked over and said, "C4 in the sandbags, huh?" I confirmed his suspicion. He said, "Don't ever fuckin' do it again."

That one was more fun than blowing up dirt.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 16:43

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Thanks, that made me really miss blowing poo poo up.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 16:53

Lemony: Jul 27, 2010; Now With Fresh Citrus Scent!

Stupid Gunny, getting on us about things like carefully checking out "math" when planting live explosives. Like some loving nerd. I totally owned him by doing something that could easily have killed and/maimed a bunch of people for no reason.

Anyhow, story checks out. Sounds like a marine.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 17:11

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

There's a space force subreddit now for people to shitpost about dumb stuff working there.

https://www.reddit.com/r/SpaceForce/comments/scmm2h/not_today_russia/

# ? Jan 27, 2022 19:38

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

NightGyr posted:

A story from reddit

As so that's where LAPD got their EOD guys.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 19:40

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Grip it and rip it posted:

Sergeants major?

Yes.

My question is is it Lieutenant Colonels or Lieutenants Colonel?

# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:15

McNally: Sep 13, 2007; Ask me about Proposition 305

Do you like muskets?

Wasabi the J posted:

Yes.

My question is is it Lieutenant Colonels or Lieutenants Colonel?

Google says the answer is yes.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:26

Stravag: Jun 7, 2009

Leftenants colonels

# ? Jan 27, 2022 21:36

SerthVarnee: Mar 13, 2011; It has been ~~two~~ zero days since last incident.; Big Super Slapstick Hunk

Leftbehind colonels

# ? Jan 27, 2022 22:00

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Livelaughlovetenant colonelses

# ? Jan 27, 2022 22:01

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

lovetenant colon

# ? Jan 27, 2022 22:03

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Lemony posted:

Stupid Gunny, getting on us about things like carefully checking out "math" when planting live explosives. Like some loving nerd. I totally owned him by doing something that could easily have killed and/maimed a bunch of people for no reason.

Anyhow, story checks out. Sounds like a marine.

Maybe after he got out he wound up in the LAPD.

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2021-09-13/atf-report-finds-lapd-badly-miscalculated-weight-of-fireworks-before-south-la-explosion

# ? Jan 28, 2022 00:49

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:44

cult_hero: Jul 10, 2001

Wasabi the J posted:

Yes.

My question is is it Lieutenant Colonels or Lieutenants Colonel?

Nobles waiting for promotion or retirement.

# ? Jan 28, 2022 00:55

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma

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