Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«80 »
  • Post
  • Reply
NAPALM STICKS TO
Jun 22, 2005



Flying_Crab posted:

So uh porn spillage from JWICS to SIPR? I’m sure there are some good stories regarding actual spillage, I remember hearing about someone who hand jammed TS/SCI material into SIPR for some godforsaken idiotic reason. Like that takes a special kind of idiot.

i had a spillage incident when i was attached to a marine sigint battalion and created a product on sipr that referenced selector names that apparently could not be used on sipr. i specifically asked the class level and if i could do it on sipr cause my jwics machine sucked and he said yes. and that was the last time i ever listened to a marine

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

NAPALM STICKS TO posted:

i had a spillage incident when i was attached to a marine sigint battalion and created a product on sipr that referenced selector names that apparently could not be used on sipr. i specifically asked the class level and if i could do it on sipr cause my jwics machine sucked and he said yes. and that was the last time i ever listened to a marine

What’s that in English?

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you


porn and spillage

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!


new friend from school posted:

But why is the rifle filthy, that’s what I want to know. And why tf is her ejection port cover open?
I thought the E-6 inside me died many years ago, but this photo is making me furious.

Flying_Crab
Apr 12, 2002



FrozenVent posted:

What’s that in English?

Basically an idiot (the marine) told him a piece of information was at a lower classification than it actually was, so he inadvertently put information on a system/network that it should not have been on.

TLDR, this is bad

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL


Flying_Crab posted:

Basically an idiot (the marine) told him a piece of information was at a lower classification than it actually was, so he inadvertently put information on a system/network that it should not have been on.

TLDR, this is bad

They're both idiots, lol at not verifying the class and blindly doing it.

nullscan
May 28, 2004

TO BE A BOSS YOU MUST HAVE HONOR! HONOR AND A PENIS!



Just need to forward that ppt to 69420 ISR/All so the whole squadron gets their NIPR PCs and accounts locked down until everything is sterilized.

No, this didn't just happen, who would do that.

No, it's not the 4th time this year, you're crazy.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010


When they started the Medboard process, but hadn't let me go inactive Guard, they assigned me to watch a phone at a desk in HQ.

There was no phone at the desk. There wasn't a phone line into that little office. When I said that there was no phone to watch, they said to sit there anyway.

I got paid drill pay for months to sit at a desk and read books. Anytime they bitches at what I was doing doing, I'd ask if they hear a phone ringing.

Wingnut Ninja
Jan 11, 2003

Mostly Harmless


bulletsponge13 posted:

Anytime they bitches at what I was doing doing, I'd ask if they hear a phone ringing.

I'm not sure how this line was supposed to read, but that sounds like an awesome song lyric.

Dick Burglar
Mar 6, 2006
Check out my hot takes because I'm a straight white male

"Anytime they bitched [about] what I was doing,"

And the meaning was that the phone wasn't ringing, so he was doing his job by sitting and "waiting to answer the phone."

Guest2553
Aug 3, 2012


nullscan posted:

Just need to forward that ppt to 69420 ISR/All so the whole squadron gets their NIPR PCs and accounts locked down until everything is sterilized.

No, this didn't just happen, who would do that.

No, it's not the 4th time this year, you're crazy.

Two of my happier weeks in garrison were my shop lost our NIPR accounts/PCs after a deployed crew did something similar. The investigation was slow going since there was a nine-hour time zone difference between units. I'm told it would have gone on a few weeks longer if someone didn't find a clever way to pin it on an entirely different unit - apparently someone else burned similar information a few days prior without getting noticed, so at the time of our incident it was technically not a breach.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010


Dick Burglar posted:

"Anytime they bitched [about] what I was doing,"

And the meaning was that the phone wasn't ringing, so he was doing his job by sitting and "waiting to answer the phone."

Yeah, that's what I meant. They kept bitching that I was always reading books. I was the only one in the section without a real job or tasking, and was literally sitting at an empty desk all day.

DaNerd
Sep 15, 2009

u br?


I&I: you guys are useless, you never do anything

Me: please give us access to systems so we can train and do stuff so we aren't useless

I&I: no, you guys will just gently caress things up

Me:

A Bad Poster
Sep 25, 2006
Seriously, shut the fuck up.



My old CSM instituted a policy that nobody could be on their cell phone during duty hours while on staff duty, but said that we could watch videos as long as they were "military related". This lead to me getting to re-watch Generation Kill and Band of Brothers several times since staff duty during duty hours is a pointless job and is just a way to not have to hire a janitorial staff.

aphid_licker
Jan 7, 2009

kiss kiss


Pillbug

A Bad Poster posted:

My old CSM instituted a policy that nobody could be on their cell phone during duty hours while on staff duty, but said that we could watch videos as long as they were "military related". This lead to me getting to re-watch Generation Kill and Band of Brothers several times since staff duty during duty hours is a pointless job and is just a way to not have to hire a janitorial staff.

Should've watched Catch-22

Cenen
Apr 7, 2011


I “read” Catch-22 for an English course. You’d be surprised in general how many people at a private northeast university get upset when you start to imply the military may be staffed by a not small number of illiterates and the mentally ill. A disturbing number of these kids think it really is a bunch of supermen kicking in doors 24/7 with some considering dropping out to enlist. In 2019.

Wild T
Dec 15, 2008

The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

That's because there's an entire industry dedicated to making it appear that way, despite the military loving up in high-profile and hilarious ways constantly.

The military is basically a human trafficking pimp that hangs around telling high schoolers that no, baby, it's gonna be great. Just come work for me and I'll make you rich, buy you nice clothes, I'll take real good care of you. Ain't nobody gonna gently caress with you when you're Uncle Sam's girl. By the time you're blowing dirty truckers for $20 and hopelessly addicted to meth it's too late.

SIGSEGV
Nov 4, 2010


Does anyone have the story about first lieutenant mormon girl having to make a powerpoint presentationt to an entire platoon of marines about STDs because half of them hosed the same fleshlight and they all got gonorrhea?

Tythas
Oct 3, 2013

Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars




So I won't go into specifics on this one, but imagine a large TS SCIF that has many cubicles in it and they all have NIPR phones with no push to talk buttons on them as well as no way to indicate that someone is using a NIPR phone.

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL


Tythas posted:

So I won't go into specifics on this one, but imagine a large TS SCIF that has many cubicles in it and they all have NIPR phones with no push to talk buttons on them as well as no way to indicate that someone is using a NIPR phone.

Lol

nullscan
May 28, 2004

TO BE A BOSS YOU MUST HAVE HONOR! HONOR AND A PENIS!



Imagine it? I thought that was the standard.

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007



SIGSEGV posted:

Does anyone have the story about first lieutenant mormon girl having to make a powerpoint presentationt to an entire platoon of marines about STDs because half of them hosed the same fleshlight and they all got gonorrhea?

MARINES

redreader
Nov 2, 2009

I am the coolest person ever with my pirate chalice. Seriously.



Dinosaur Gum

I read "armor" because of this thread or the previous one. I was on my kindle so I kept track of the good and bad bits. Armor bits starring felix: from 0%-22% of the book. Then Jack Crow from 22%-70% of the way through. Then Felix for about 4%, then Jack Crow again until the last 2 pages. It's like 2 books, a great one and a really poo poo one. The poo poo one is most of the book.

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.



redreader posted:

I read "armor" because of this thread or the previous one. I was on my kindle so I kept track of the good and bad bits. Armor bits starring felix: from 0%-22% of the book. Then Jack Crow from 22%-70% of the way through. Then Felix for about 4%, then Jack Crow again until the last 2 pages. It's like 2 books, a great one and a really poo poo one. The poo poo one is most of the book.

mods

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones

SIGSEGV posted:

Does anyone have the story about first lieutenant mormon girl having to make a powerpoint presentationt to an entire platoon of marines about STDs because half of them hosed the same fleshlight and they all got gonorrhea?

Lol what?

Tythas
Oct 3, 2013

Never felt at home in reality
Always hiding behind avatars





I mean it is the idiots thread

bird cooch
Jan 19, 2007


redreader posted:

I read "armor" because of this thread or the previous one. I was on my kindle so I kept track of the good and bad bits. Armor bits starring felix: from 0%-22% of the book. Then Jack Crow from 22%-70% of the way through. Then Felix for about 4%, then Jack Crow again until the last 2 pages. It's like 2 books, a great one and a really poo poo one. The poo poo one is most of the book.

I also read it. It was ok/pretty good for hard sci-fi of the era.

The forever war is much much much better. I read it twice in a row. I love me some military sci-fi

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010


redreader posted:

I read "armor" because of this thread or the previous one. I was on my kindle so I kept track of the good and bad bits. Armor bits starring felix: from 0%-22% of the book. Then Jack Crow from 22%-70% of the way through. Then Felix for about 4%, then Jack Crow again until the last 2 pages. It's like 2 books, a great one and a really poo poo one. The poo poo one is most of the book.

Boo this man.

Hagop
May 14, 2012

First one out of the Ranger gets a prize!


bird cooch posted:

I also read it. It was ok/pretty good for hard sci-fi of the era.

The forever war is much much much better. I read it twice in a row. I love me some military sci-fi

If you like Forever War try David Drake's Redliners. I am not sure it's really all that similar, but I group the books together in my mind.

bird cooch
Jan 19, 2007


Will do.

SpaceSDoorGunner
May 4, 2018



Wild T posted:

That's because there's an entire industry dedicated to making it appear that way, despite the military loving up in high-profile and hilarious ways constantly.

The military is basically a human trafficking pimp that hangs around telling high schoolers that no, baby, it's gonna be great. Just come work for me and I'll make you rich, buy you nice clothes, I'll take real good care of you. Ain't nobody gonna gently caress with you when you're Uncle Sam's girl. By the time you're blowing dirty truckers for $20 and hopelessly addicted to meth it's too late.

Hits close to home

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005



Cenen posted:

I “read” Catch-22 for an English course. You’d be surprised in general how many people at a private northeast university get upset when you start to imply the military may be staffed by a not small number of illiterates and the mentally ill. A disturbing number of these kids think it really is a bunch of supermen kicking in doors 24/7 with some considering dropping out to enlist. In 2019.

During WW2 the navy literally had to make a training film titled "DON'T KILL YOUR FRIENDS", you should show it to them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU2T793tNqk

Softface
Feb 15, 2011

Some things can't be unseen


Tythas posted:

So I won't go into specifics on this one, but imagine a large TS SCIF that has many cubicles in it and they all have NIPR phones with no push to talk buttons on them as well as no way to indicate that someone is using a NIPR phone.

This is why you hone your "phone up!" until it carries across the entire room loud enough to make people drop what they're doing, because unless you make work grind to a halt to acknowledge that some moron or career SIGINTer with a quarter of their hearing left will miss it.

In other SCIF idiocy, last week someone got their badge pulled for typing in their team's chats "They won't be laughing when I bring a bomb to the ops floor."

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones



JFC

Remulak
Jun 8, 2001

The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics. Oh, and that stupid children's book 'The Little Prince,' ugh.


Yams Fan

Softface posted:


In other SCIF idiocy, last week someone got their badge pulled for typing in their team's chats "They won't be laughing when I bring a bomb to the ops floor."

But they would be laughing, which makes it funnier.

SIGSEGV
Nov 4, 2010



Yeah, approximately that.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Clapping Larry

Hagop posted:

If you like Forever War try David Drake's Redliners. I am not sure it's really all that similar, but I group the books together in my mind.

I just opened that link and it told me it was free, so, thanks!

Cenen
Apr 7, 2011


So during the time we were in Africa American and French relations weren’t exactly at their height. Our team lead though was fluent in French having enjoyed the subject in school enough to do his Mormon mission in France and ended up marrying a French chick and speaking French around their household so their kids could be at least bilingual. This obviously made him super popular with the French and somehow turned this into us staying on the nice built up French base proper for Flintlock 15 instead of the sketch international camp at the end of the runway. Anyway one day for some reason the French drag our team lead to their version of a secure building to do some officer poo poo that apparently involved a map of most if not all French forces in a good chunk of Western Africa. The French guy our team lead is talking to excuses himself to go to the bathroom or whatever but leaves our team lead alone with this sensitive map. So obviously he takes a picture on his cellphone and sends it to ARSOC or whatever the gently caress they call it headquarters in Germany. He apparently immediately gets a text or call back from our overall commander freaking the gently caress out about spying on the French and what the gently caress are we doing over there and to totally not spy on the French that isn’t even close to our job. Our team lead manages to clear things up that they just blatantly left their stuff in the open alone with him and this smooths things over with our commander. In the end the French end up thinking we are somehow the greatest thing ever and we all form a ton of friendships and before we leave they give us their medevac number which is something that apparently our actual diplomats and what not couldn’t get from them.

Also about not killing your friends, when we thought the base was about to get car bombed and we were taking positions on the hesco barriers they made super sure to remind us where the French were located and “don’t shoot at the French, they will shoot back!” was one of the pieces of advice given.

Edit: the French still have a waaaay more competent military than England in like every aspect still though.

Cenen fucked around with this message at 13:30 on Aug 7, 2019

bird cooch
Jan 19, 2007


All of my interactions with the French military boiled down to three points.

1.the french are dicks

2.the french are good at their jobs.

3. The dick french that are good at their jobs will run you the gently caress over if you aren't good at yours and leave you there, come what may.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Dick Burglar
Mar 6, 2006
Check out my hot takes because I'm a straight white male

bird cooch posted:

All of my interactions with the French military boiled down to three points.

1.the french are dicks

2.the french are good at their jobs.

3. The dick french that are good at their jobs will run you the gently caress over if you aren't good at yours and leave you there, come what may.

I never thought I'd say this, but I suddenly really like the French.

Dick Burglar fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Aug 7, 2019

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«80 »