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MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:

He gets to go to the docks. Cool.

The docks.

During wartime.

All access.

That guy basically had an no-questions-asked pass to take whatever the gently caress he wanted.

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MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Thump! posted:

:stonk:

gently caress artillery guys are dumb

I saw a whole lot of dumb poo poo during my time with the guns. I saw young gunners jump off the back of a truck and crack their skulls on the trails. Guys trying to unload 105 HE with wooden sticks. 105 barrels so fouled that we had to pound thru a costco sized bag of TP to get it clean. Guys tossing fuzed 105 rounds.

Not once, in my entire time in service, did I witness anything as monstrously unsafe as that practice. It's not like the pendulum test, there's some variance in the recoil depending on the charge/round/trail spade depth. You've got a 3000lb barrel/breech assembly moving at roughly 100 meters/second, you will lose any fight you get into with that thing. The number one loving thing we always, ALWAYS taught gunners was "never stand between the trails, never stick something between the trails you're not willing to lose".

An injury of that kind in the CF would have resulted in, minimum, loss of command for Gun Det commander, Battery CO and CWO and probably Regimental CO/CWO, and I'd expect criminal charges against the gun det commander as well. But it would never, ever have happened because the rest of his det would have beat the poo poo out of him for even thinking about doing that.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Just like

is it SOP in Marine Artillery to gently caress with the firing mechanism with a round in the tube? Where installing it means actuating it and possibly NDing a 155 round down range? There are so many loving questions there, Jesus.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

We had something similar, much less sad and more :wtf: happen to us on training back in '08.

Got shipped to the Canadian Manoeuvre Training Center at ASU Wainwright in Alberta with a bunch of other Reservist units from Ontario to practice operations in built-up areas using MILES-like gear with GPS. However, being artillery, we promptly got dropped in a field and pretty much forgotten about. GPS stuff killed the batteries in our trucks, so any movement order took forever as we had to jump truck after truck. Purestrain uncut Canadian Forces Bullshit at it's best.

One night I was trying to sleep in the back of my truck, freezing my balls off because it's August and right around 0 celsius because gently caress you Wainwright and I hear activity outside, specifically a diesel engine. Not one of ours because the batteries were all hosed. So I get up, hop into my trench just in time to see a C6 team training on a moving shape out in the field. A shape that was moving towards us, no lights. Was this finally the attack on our position we had been expecting?

:haw: Movement, 12 o'clock, vehicle. 200 meters and closing.
:commissar: Is it one of our vehicles?
:haw: No, sergeant.
:commissar: LIGHT IT THE gently caress UP THEN.

Cue a C6 GPMG, a few C9 LMGS and personal C7s firing. Theoretically, the laser transmitters on these guns should have been hitting the truck driving right onto our position, and the weapon effect simulators would have killed it dead.

Except that the truck didn't have any of that poo poo, because it was loving Range Patrol. Nobody had told them we were there, so it ended up being a lot of screaming about what we were doing there and how we weren't even on a manoeuvre map for that area. We got extremely lucky that the range patrol truck saw the flashes from the blanks on the MGs else they would have driven someone over or smashed into one of our trucks.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Steezo posted:

No, it's actually SOP to call MISFIRE and not touch the drat thing for two or three minutes before yanking the cord again. Then if no, fire wait for longer before popping the firing mech and checking the primer for a dent.

The firing mech on a 777 is a lot like the one on a 198 or a Paladin, same cannon tube. The whole "can be installed upside down" thing has been a known issue that could have been solved with some CAD machining before the 777 entered production. I'm not sure if procurement or that guys section chief are the bigger idiot.

You're right, it's something that should have been poka-yoke'd out at proof of concept phase.

Procurement are always idiots. But the section chief is 100% certified dipshit for not following misfire procedure, and one of his troops paid the price for it.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Just listen to Robert Evans's podcast if you want to know more about the white supremacist movement, dude is awesome.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Speaking of idiots,

Have you guys read "The Hooligans of Kandahar"? It's by the dude that runs the "Lions led by Donkeys" podcast.

The description of the fighting position inside of the loving bath-house/sleeping quarters complete with concertina wire, C4, a claymore and a M240 had me howling. Everyone had a Creep that made that stupid poo poo happen.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.


So on a scale of "a good talking to" to "supremely turbo-hosed", how turbo-hosed is this guy?

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Stravag posted:

Thankyou for that because jfc looking through those images is amazing

the guy checking to see if his laser is on by pointing a loaded pistol at his palm

good god

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

when we beat the nazis we used to have ladies, beautiful naked ladies on our planes but now they say no to having ladies on our big beautiful airplanes, it's sad! I've had these handsome generals come to me with tears in their eyes saying "sir, please let us paint the big strong airplane with the naked ladies again!" and you know what folks? I think we should do it. I think we should paint the big planes with the naked ladies again

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

I mean I get that you can't put standard paint on RAM but come on paint some 40s style pinups on a BUFF, what's it gonna hurt

Might help keep the rust together

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Wild T posted:

Do this but they're all dudes, in the same outfits

Tom of Finland dudes all up in the radome

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I didn't bother looking too far into the thread beyond the first page but somebody working for a dice company saying he has no idea how fair they are sounds really dubious. Like, yeah, you need to do some quality control even for dice that determine whether or not your orc missed, not just whether or not you've won this round of craps.

From what I read of how Chessex works they buy dice from an overseas supplier and re-package them.
It's really the responsibility of the supplier to be doing random sampling and QA work.
Mind you, with injection-molded parts defects are pretty obvious, I'd be surprised if they didn't pass through a size gate or something.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

I mean FFS there's always going to be minor deviations that occur while molding. But as long as your injection/clamp pressure stay the same and there's no major variances in the material you'll get a reproducible part within tolerances.

Mind you this is probably a cheap chinesium mold so your tolerance band is probably rather large.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

oh my god

yeah some poor fucker in guangzhou is gonna take a pair of calipers to your 3 dollar unknown-resin die are you kidding me

Like gently caress unless you're polishing each side of the die you're going to have imperfections! Like, what is your loving datum on a D20? Do you just pick 1 side and go with it?
Even the difference in the engraving will cause minute deviations! Like, you remove more material engraving 20 than you do 1, making it 0.00001g lighter on that one side!

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

If you were paying a premium for a product that advertised that level of precision and they weren't delivering, yeah I'd be ticked off

NOWHERE in their advertising, their website, anywhere is there a guarantee of precision manufacturing.

I have put far too much thought into this subject now.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

aphid_licker posted:

Imagine getting asked why you didn't just get a trash bag and then, instead of losing some dignity, you get sepsis because of some nick on your shitter-rummaging hand and lose an assortment of extremities plus your kidneys

Nah, god's perfect idiots are protected from that kinda stupid poo poo from sheer dumb luck. The kind of idiots that fall off of trucks and smack their kevlars off of the gun trails, split the fucker right in half and pop up going WOW THAT WAS CLOSE!

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

lol pre-Madonna are you for loving real

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Midjack posted:

like a virgin lmao

whalla

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.


EDIT: aw gently caress apparently deus vult is completely alt right now, I didn't know.

MA-Horus fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Jan 6, 2020

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

madeintaipei posted:

What is the scene in Stalingrad? "...remember what it says on your own belt buckle, Gott mit Uns." "poo poo, it says that? *checks buckle* Never noticed."

holy poo poo I nearly forgot about that movie, saw it in theaters. What a fantastic piece of blatant propaganda that was, good god.

As for the deus vult thing, it's been firmly co-opted by the alt right. Not made better by Don Jr's loving crusader AR-15 that has DEUS VULT engraved on it.
Actually that rifle belongs in this thread, gently caress is it ugly and stupid.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Milo and POTUS posted:

Are you talking about the 2013 movie? Because the 93 movie is very highly regarded

Oh yes, the 2013 movie. The 93 movie is purestrain depression and wonderful.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

My favorite part of R6 is where the sniper team deliberately takes a bad shot and gut-shots the child-killing terrorist so he can watch him die in agony

pre-teen and teenaged me thought that was cool. It's very hosed up now.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Also it's a well known clancy trope that the main characters dig pregnant chicks

Jack Ryan was always getting Cathy knocked up in the books

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

I have ptsd from mess hall french toast made from wonder bread that you could play raquetball with.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Oh we haven't even discussed Mack Maloney and the Wingman series.

Because that's full on whackadoo bananas poo poo right there.

Makes Dale Brown look like high art.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Omelette with Salsa, AKA the Bloody Lung
Somehow flavorless and gag-inducing at the same time.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Flying_Crab posted:

OTOH I’ve witnessed a deer get lit up, cooked and eaten on a 240 range before.

I saw a deer take a near-direct hit from a 105 round before while on FOO party. I have no idea what that idiot deer was thinking going onto a live range, animals know better than that. We called stop as soon as we saw it but they'd already fired, so there was like 20 seconds of anticipation before seeing airborne deer bolognaise.

When I tell the story people tend to laugh and say "that's good eating"

No. There was nothing left to eat. Pretty much just red mist and bone fragments.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Flying_Crab posted:

A FO once told me they saw an entire herd of deer get obliterated by arty since they pretty much live in the impact area where this occurred. They’re impossibly stupid creatures.

:stare:

Holy gently caress how the hell did THAT happen? Normally if there's animals in the impact area the sound of the first round causes them to gently caress right off.

I mean at least it was a quick death. Deer one moment, gone the next.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Milo and POTUS posted:

He even looks like Trombley

Whopper Junior!

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Milo and POTUS posted:

What MRE is this

EBB posted:

the ultimate orgasm

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Thailand is a land of wonderful contrasts and is one of my favorite places on earth.

I spent 3 weeks on Koh Tao scuba diving, drinking and relaxing and they magical
the days when I had to spend in Phuket getting to and from the island were awful.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Everything about that is so laissez-faire French it's wonderful.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Let's not talk about the second half of that story for a second, but just to recap: You went full recon-style-tactical-squat...at Oktoberfest?

:stare:

In ze autobus I believe.

When I was in Egypt back in 2009 (just before poo poo went bananas) we were in Abu Simbel and the traveller's shits finally caught up to me. It's a pretty touristy place with MUCH better bathrooms than the majority of Egypt's cultural sites...except that toilet paper was handed out by the individual square by an extremely crotchety old woman. I tried asking for more before going into the stall, knowing I would need more, and got chewed out.

So I go into the stall, blast out what felt like a waterjet from my butthole, wipe with the piddly one square and KNOW there's going to be more than one round. While there's still time pull my pants up, leave the stall, literally pull the roll from the old woman's hand and waddle back into the stall.

She chased me into the men's room screaming and banging on the stall door. I slipped 10 egyptian pounds underneath the door and she left me alone to poo poo my brains out in peace.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

canyoneer posted:

It's a cultural thing there. She may have been listening to compare the sound of your farts and trying to match it to someone else.
In ancient and modern Egypt it's considered good luck to have a toot-in-common.

:dadjoke:

you motherfucker

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Did you ever think that maybe sending out a MASS EMERGENCY ALERT saying

"GUNMAN IS DRIVING AN RCMP CRUISER AND WEARING AN RCMP UNIFORM"

might lead to problems WRT reporting while the law enforcement agencies of the entire province were driving around hell's half-acre?

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

needs that terminal lance strip of the SNCO "Look at these Marines having a good time. I think I'll charge them."

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

And at least partially military connected because those stories just screamed late cold war bullshittery.

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

The part about straddling a mountain of crates containing either nukes or chemical weapons screaming I AM THE GOD KING OF gently caress MOUNTAIN while a general? was yelling at him to get down was a little over the top but still a good mental image.

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MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Tell me that fucker wasn't balls deep in cold war insanity.

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