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Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
One of my best friends was an apache pilot who came up through ROTC.

A year or two in, his facebook exploded with photos of him and his new wife, having an extravagant wedding.

Then a bunch of us realized it was April 1st. He spent 10k on getting photos done for an april fool's joke. We made fun of the fact he could never retire if he spent money like a dumbshit.

He was fatally hit by a car at the airport around thanksgiving on his way home five years ago, not long after the april fools joke.

This time of year always reminds me of that dude.

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Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
I posted in the last thread about how to get hard proof to bust one of those (claimed to be former force recon and would not shut up about it, said he got evicerated by an IED but didn’t have a scar, etc) and they told me to ask for his DD214, but in that case I was able to actually do that because it was for a job.

Fun fact, took that guy to the hospital via ambulance a while after. He had torn his bicep while working as a bouncer beating seven shades of piss out of a guy for talking to a bar patron he liked (she was 20+years younger than him, too). He was, uh, pretty thoroughly under arrest at the time. It was great.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
From the r/relationships thread:

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I [F17] met an USAF guy [M19] last month and he's already talking about babies and marriage.

Living right next to an Air Force base my whole life I (F17) always heard the joke that Air men propose on the third date.... Which I thought was just a joke but oh my god I was wrong.....

Last month I met an air force guy (M19) online, despite living in the same town I didn't think we'd even see each other but boy was I wrong, we've been sleeping with each other for the last month, I've definitely seen a few red flags, like he hardly ever uses condoms (he pulls out but I don't think that's a good form of birth control)

Last night we were talking, he made it fairly clear that he wants me pregnant. I asked him "what if I get pregnant" and he responded with "Not if... when you do get pregnant." I explained to him that my mom would kill me if I were to get pregnant seeing as I'm only 17. Then he suggests that when I do get pregnant, I can move in with him... and get married

Personally I think he just wants off base, he's currently an e2 which means he has to live in the dorms on base until next year (unless he's married before then) So basically I'm his ticket to living off base.

Despite some of the concerns I have, I still really do like him, we're definitely moving way too fast but I've heard that's normal for service members. I hope with time that we can get to know each other better and maybe in the future have kids or whatever.

TL;DR I (F17) have been seeing an airman (M19) for a month, I told him my concerns about getting pregnant he kinda brushed it off he suggested marriage and moving in together.


I dunno if he's the idiot or if she's the idiot for seeing through it and still saying "but I really like him!"

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Stravag posted:

So this is going to be a domestic violence story next right? Cuz that sounds like the prelude to my friend's abusive relationship with her ex

Looking at the comments on the original reddit post... probably. :smith: she's already convinced she's in to deep to leave even while people tell her to GTFO.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

piL posted:

I've touched all the walls of a shared shower. I've searched racks for watch reliefs under red lights in places I wouldn't go in the full light of day. I've found bottles in spaces man. Bottles in spaces.

Have you ever slept in a jack shack?
Do you desperately hope all these things would wash away, like tears in the rain?

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
I was reading a journal article about the dumbass soldier that tried to eat C4 to get high, and I have a followup question that google has failed me on, but maybe one of you know. Definitely idiot-adjacent.

The article mentioned that the first non-wartime case of RDX poisoning was in a 3 year old. How in the hell did a 3 year old eat RDX? I haven't been able to find anything on how, exactly, that baffling set of circumstances actually happened, only the aftermath of "kid had a big ol' seizure".

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Thank you! I was all stuck searching medical stuff, I have no idea why the EPA never crossed my mind.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

LingcodKilla posted:

I wasn’t. I need a solid business plan that profits off of idiots. I’ll market a plan we’re you can send In your dice quarterly to be retested.

200 dollar “fair” dice. Also sell them on a different site as speaker weights to reduce sound quality loss from negative ions in the air or whatever the gently caress. Tap two markets.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Rolling dice, like moving actual minis on a map, is fun. It's a fun part of the tabletop experience.

Plus, the DM can randomly toss dice behind the screen to make the players think he’s rolling spot checks and keep everyone paranoid.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

MA-Horus posted:

Nah, god's perfect idiots are protected from that kinda stupid poo poo from sheer dumb luck. The kind of idiots that fall off of trucks and smack their kevlars off of the gun trails, split the fucker right in half and pop up going WOW THAT WAS CLOSE!

In EMS we call that the “cockroach factor”. The dipshits always live.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

I see this one all the time and I hate it.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Bored As gently caress posted:

Is that a "black eye" level inury or "cracked eye socket / jaw" level injury?

If it went lower he’d definitely have cracked some teeth.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Milo and POTUS posted:

The one where it slams him right in the gut?

That’s the one I was thinking of when I read that. IIRC the guy died later that day of massive internal injuries.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

not caring here posted:

Was that the loving idiot who used the primer end of a .50 cal as you would a mallet?

And then had a hand that looked like a plate of spaghetti and marinara sauce, yes.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Ken Bone Comeback posted:

I'll be honest, the "'high' similar to ethanol" doesn't sound quite worth it

I’m assuming they figured it would be worth it since, as near as I can tell, there’s no piss test for C4.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
The SDS for RDX is a helluva thing. Most of the instructions for mishaps may as well just be “BURY ME, WE’RE hosed!”

https://chemringnobel.no/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Safety-Data-Sheet-RDX-eng.pdf

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

If someone photoshops this into a Tattoo Safety Message poster I will love them forever.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Every time Seagal comes up I always think of this Tom Segura bit:

https://youtu.be/VA4UZMHTjRA

Seagal is a ridiculous man.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Man, loss edits are getting real weird.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
Was it TFR that did the let’s read of Unintended Consequences? That book was straight up 90’s right wing militia porn and that thread went to town on it.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Ken Bone Comeback posted:

Tinned beef is not that bad you big baby

Fry it up with some onion and potato and maybe throw a sunny egg on top and you've got the best breakfast a scout troop could ask for

Corned beef out the cab is best when it’s in the form of a canned hash. So good. So greasy, but so good.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

piL posted:

It really helps if you brown it. Canned corned beef (and corned beef hash) is delicious with hot sauce maybe a little bit of runny yolk.

I always scotch the exterior of either and drown it in tabasco. Always Tabasco. There’s better hot sauce out there but there’s something about the flavor of just vinegar and peppers that works with canned stuff.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Corned beef hash, scrambled powdered eggs with hot sauce and pepper, wheat toast, some black coffee...

I have a weird nostalgia for powdered eggs. I could never eat them on a daily basis, or even more than very rarely, but whenever I have them it’s like some weird mental time warp.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

stinkypete posted:

but what the hell is going on with the Bacon cheese. Bacon cheese is salty very salty.

The new sandwiches are not so great.

My best guess without being able to actually find the ingredients list is that the bacon is like the bacon bits you find at the store- soy protein with artificial flavoring like liquid smoke. The cheap versions of those artificial flavorings can be absurdly salty, like ramen flavor packet level salty.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Guest2553 posted:

At least they get human contact periodically. Years back at a station there was someone known as 'porn guy' because he had like five or six screens playing porn between two different computers. It wasn't a shock thing either, it was just...always on. Even when he wasn't there, because you could see it in the background when he opened his door to leave the room, or through the window when the curtains were open. Every once in a while he'd ask some rube for tech support on one device while porn was playing on the other one. He must have been paying for at least some of it because even if streaming sites existed, he wouldn't have had a high enough bandwidth or data cap to download it all in a time frame measured in anything other than years.

I don't recall anybody knowing his actual name.

What cyberpunk novel were you stationed at? That dude’s whole vibe is “bit character in a book by William Gibson”.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

aphid_licker posted:

It's gonna be a fight to have isolation measures persist into the summer. Everyone's gonna have grown bored with it and want to hang out in the sun and have barbecues etc. Even having heard of gramps dying sans ventilator in the hallway of / tent outside a hospital in April / May probably won't prevent that.

It’s a fight to have isolation measures now. I know way too many idiots in emergency services that think there’s no epidemic. I mean, way too many is like 4, but any is way too many.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Milo and POTUS posted:

What MRE is this



Intestinal Parasites in Spinach Sauce

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

McNally posted:

Yeah but now he's a member of Martin-Baker's cool tie club.

Is Martin-Baker going to rules lawyer him out of it, though? Their tie club says "emergency ejections".

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

McNally posted:

Oh man I hope not.

Arguably any ejection is an emergency.

I asked the company on Twitter if he’s in or not, I’ll update if they answer.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
It’s not making GBS threads per se, but I did manage to fart up a train so badly people thought the septic tank on the shitter broke. Like, they had to go get changed as soon as they got off the train. I still remember the tuna sandwich and four dill pickles that did it.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Guest2553 posted:



Almost seems like an unintentional critique about the overbearing eye of state security and their surveillance methods. I ate a probe once for an awkwardly worded compare-and-contrast between US' superpower suicide trajectory and France's Yellow Vest movement in regards to populaces upholding their end of the social contract. It's not like CSPAM is generating Nobel laureates, but it's also weird to think I could have eaten a perma for engaging in good faith current event discussion.

Didn’t Martello get hosed by the green weenie for one of his posts here?

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Milo and POTUS posted:

Really stuck together

Unit cohesion is when your junk sticks together on a humid day, right?

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Humbug Scoolbus posted:

It was and the music in 3 is fantastic.

Hendrix on the opening menu and it gets better from there!

Does anyone have a stupider injury than what I did to myself? Was on the shitter so long my leg fell asleep, then stood up, had my now-asleep leg go out from under me, and got a 6 inch cut on my scalp since it’s an old house and doesn’t have normal doorknobs, it has those rods you turn and I slapped directly into that. There has to be a dumber injury. There has to

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Duzzy Funlop posted:

My 4th (or 5th?) knee surgery resulted from rupturing my meniscus...



...in my sleep.

Funny you say that, when I blew out my meniscus the PT knew it was that even before I got my CT scan because I was waking up a lot in the night. It was the first question she asked when I mentioned my knee pain. I guess the way people move in their sleep involves a lot of meniscus poo poo.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

The dummy AT4 is loving hilarious. I know I feel like I need (to pretend I have) the armor penetration of HEAT rounds when I’m out buying sandwiches.

E:Make sure to blow up the M2 picture. Pretty sure the real thing doesn’t have wood grain on the feed tray.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Valtonen posted:

Also pretty sure anyone carrying a full m2 with barrel attached so nonchalantly is shredded like the hulk.

Psssht, it’s 80 pounds, that’s nothing for a dumpy old guy who looks like he risks knee injuries getting the paper.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
Jesus, and the one dipshit has a KSG. I don't know when you're going to need 15 rounds of 12-gauge ammo for a sandwich run.

And I say that as someone who owns a goddamn KSG.

Steezo posted:

that would explain the wooden M2...

What loving point are they even trying to make? I dont get it, are they hoping for a boston market massacre? Paula Deen's ride? One if by McDonalds, two if by Subway?

It's basically to terrorize minimum wage workers. There's been what, four people shot because they asked someone to wear a mask in the last week? It's entirely to make people afraid to do their jobs.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

kill me now posted:

Just noticed the backwards eotech on the KSG person.


There is always a backwards eotech at these gatherings


Always

Are you sure it’s an EOTech? The last time I noticed a backwards EOTech someone on twitter responded and told me it was actually a cheap airsoft sight.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Stravag posted:

Either way it won't survive being on aksg after it's fired like twice. I put a chesp eotech knockoff on my ksg and the sight adjustments don't do poo poo now lol

Yeah, I bought a cheap sight for mine because it’s a goddamn shotgun, there’s no reason to put a 400 dollar aimpoint on there. Having a good flashlight on there is way more important. Which I notice this dipshit doesn’t have.

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Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Internet Wizard posted:

What’s worse, a backwards eotech or an airsoft knockoff that is supposed to look like a backwards eotech

What about buying the airsoft one and putting it on backwards so it looks like you have an EOTech on the right way?

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