Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

Plastic_Gargoyle posted:

Someone got the time a goon almost invaded Syria?

Found it, it's my absolute favourite story:

Vasudus posted:

Being an Engineer on the Iraq/Syria border means a lot of border construction. We had a huge, huge AO and we were responsible for building a 15 foot berm between Iraq/Syria to prevent smugglers, allegedly. Since being inside dozers and ACEs in 120 degree heat is an excuse to have heat casualties, most of the work we would do was at dusk into the night.

So we're out building a berm at a new site at like 0200 and something isn't right. The paper maps had us right were we were supposed to be. The FBCB2 had us about a mile on the wrong side of the border. My XO, believing himself to be the second coming of Patton himself, said that we were fine and to continue on mission. This was his project, after all.

About 0230 rolls around and my gunner says

'uh...SGT Vasudus, a BMP is the wheeled ruskie APC right?'
'...no, why?'
'so what's wheeled with a 50 on it?'
'...that's a BRDM...are you studying for the board or something?'
'see those lights way out to the west? like 50 of those BRDM things are coming right for us'

Welp.

I immediately hop up there and look down the nightvision scope to see what the christ he was talking about. Sure as poo poo, there was a huge fuckoff wheeled and light track force heading for us at high speed. At least two whole company+ sized elements.

I tell my XO that we're on the wrong side of the border and the Syrians aren't very happy about it. He says they're wrong and we'll be fine, and he's gonna call in some air support to scare them off. He relays his coordinates and my TOC informs him that the FBCB2 is correct.

XO comes screaming over the radio 'PACK YOUR poo poo! PACK YOUR poo poo! WE'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BORDER'

So we quickly left this half finished berm project and immediately left the area back to Iraq.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2019 21:05

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 22:13

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

EBB posted:

_{maybe a form of government created to benefit white male landowners isn't super practical 200 years on}

they still own all the land, it's worked out perfectly practical

# ¿ Oct 31, 2019 05:47

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

Memento posted:

I had this up on my screen and my six year old daughter said "urgh, what is that gross stuff?!?"

Freedom!

# ¿ Apr 4, 2020 00:17

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://twitter.com/sovietvisuals/status/1338811290551156741?s=20

From the stories in this and previous threads, I think you could just reuse the same poster.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2020 17:13

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma