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"Just give me a second, here, folks." *furiously googling the differences between animals, plants and rocks* |
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Jul 31, 2019 20:36
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*pointing to aquarium display* This is a Nemo and it likes to hang out with sea enemies. The Nemo is why we have the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". We don't know why it hangs out with enemies, but I like to think he's trying his best to make sea enemies into sea friends Anyways, let's see what else lives on Karl's Reef. |
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Jul 31, 2019 22:17
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Karl's Reefs arent a single Karl, but millions of Karls living together in some sort of superorganism. Its also a bar in Tallahassee where I met my first wife, but that story is for when the kids are petting the Stingy Boys and it's just us parents on the tour |
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Jul 31, 2019 22:19
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himalayan macaque himaeatin macaque himaclimbin macaque |
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Jul 31, 2019 22:51
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canyoneer posted:himalayan macaque https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 31, 2019 23:02
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washed out of modern major-military school and i thank my lucky stars every day that my dad holds title to like 8% of botswana
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Jul 31, 2019 23:48
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canyoneer posted:himalayan macaque
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Aug 1, 2019 14:45
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And here we have our jumpy boxer guys that carry around smaller jumping boxers inside a pouch. a child asks "you mean kangaroos?" No, no the Kangaroos are next! The Kangaroo has a long neck for eating high green tree growth.
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Aug 1, 2019 17:07
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"ah! we're in luck the coconuts rarely come out when it's light out, look at it's beady coconut eyes" *gesticulates wildly at the bird* *the kiwi looks back motherfuckerly* |
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Aug 1, 2019 17:20
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pixaal posted:And here we have our jumpy boxer guys that carry around smaller jumping boxers inside a pouch. It's a ma-. mar. mar.... marsupial pacquiao |
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Aug 1, 2019 20:04
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A weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh...look everyone, it's a whole family of weema-wehs! |
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Aug 1, 2019 20:40
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google THIS posted:A weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh...look everyone, it's a whole family of weema-wehs!
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Aug 1, 2019 23:41
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google THIS posted:A weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh...look everyone, it's a whole family of weema-wehs!
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Aug 1, 2019 23:47
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And there is an Eastern Snub-nosed Elephant. Note how its trunk is reduced to a hard point. He is stamping his feet and flaring his nostrils as a sign of respect and solidarity. Oh look, he's rushing to greet us! Let's hope he's better at stopping than the last one I encountered was, heh heh. |
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Aug 2, 2019 01:04
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"And that over there is a meth head!" said the otherwise flustered and confused safari guide, pointing at what appeared to be an alligator. Except this time the guide was right, for this was a Florida alligator, and it had acquired a methamphetamine habit as it grew up and matured in the sewers. It had no real purpose or motivation in life. It had no home. It had no spouse. But even more tragic and ridiculous, it had no teeth. |
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Aug 2, 2019 01:46
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*Points at some zebras* So here's some stupid horses wearing urban camo out on the savannah, don't ask me I don't get it either.
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Aug 2, 2019 05:54
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Some awkwardness as the guide pronounces "giraffe" with a hard "g." |
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Aug 2, 2019 08:00
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"This is a group of jerks that spit water at you from this head butt" he says gesturing to a group or whales
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Aug 2, 2019 13:45
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Trying not to be a creep, but also trying to steal this five year old's Illustrated Guide to Monkeys. |
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Aug 2, 2019 13:52
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Usual, these guys hunt for themselves and are also very patient. They spin up their evil traps, waiting for innocent prey to land in, so they can then digest them externally by covering them with highly effective acid that turns their inside liquid. They have long and prosper lives, but do not function well in society. *the entire group stares at the congressman the guide is pointing at*
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Aug 2, 2019 14:36
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We're going to stop for lunch over at the park there's a petting zoo there we have ummm moo moos some me-mas and some ba-bas also a can eater!
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Aug 2, 2019 16:43
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Jeep clattering to a stop on the steps of the natural history museum, "I gotta run in and get...snacks." |
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Aug 2, 2019 16:45
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(Guide flipping frantically though an 8 page animal board book for toddlers) |
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Aug 2, 2019 16:48
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You ever just see a thread title and just go "oh this one's gonna be goooood"? Well it didn't disappoint. Obviously lol at all of the posts itt. "Sir this is a safari" Wait, what? "And you're the tour guide!" Wait, what??? |
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Aug 2, 2019 16:52
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Opening my mouth to make random sounds to describe animals, and just so happening to exist in the universe or part of the universe where by sheer probability all my impromptu noises are the correct names. |
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Aug 2, 2019 17:03
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Looking at an aye-aye, looking at my book, looking at an aye-aye, looking at my book. "Says here that's a ghost." |
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Aug 2, 2019 17:29
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lost my old email posted:i panic for a moment but then start substituting in the name of the nearest pokémon. long story short, an almost four star rating on trip adviser I just noticed this and it cracked me up. |
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Aug 2, 2019 17:31
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*takes out a small red device* "Cubone: Wears the skull of its deceased mother. Its cries echo inside the skull and come out as a sad melody." "okay so this is a cubone and um it's so sad, this one is wearing the skull of it's mother and it's apparently crying but we can't hear it because the skull is on too tight to let sound out I guess" he says pointing to a regular woodchuck.
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Aug 2, 2019 17:33
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vanisher posted:(Guide flipping frantically though an 8 page animal board book for toddlers)  "OK, looks like we got an.... elephant there." *pulls lever several times* "and the sound it makes is PHHRR-OOO" |
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Aug 2, 2019 17:56
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canyoneer posted:
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 2, 2019 17:58
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(guide only knows animal mascot brands and calls them out as they drive through the reserve)
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Aug 2, 2019 18:09
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canyoneer posted:
"hold on folks having technical difficulties" (pulling lever with increased frustration to try and get it to land on the elephant) "trust me folks this minor delay is worth it"
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Aug 2, 2019 18:11
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"welcome to beautiful kauai! on our tour today i'll be pointing out some locations you may recognize from your favorite movies filmed here, including jurassic park and king kong!" me, nervously locks doors |
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Aug 2, 2019 18:12
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a safari guide through Kauai but all they do is point out chickens in the street. Somehow the guide has named over 100 chickens
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Aug 2, 2019 18:13
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family of giraffes eating leaves off a tree "amazing! it's Vachellia tortilis, aka umbrella thorn acacia! these trees are incredible. great canopy, deep roots, and excellent shade. the thorns won't deter those horses from eating the leaves though." *misty eyed* "what a treat. it's a subspecies raddiana variety." |
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Aug 2, 2019 18:50
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| going to the byob zoo to pet all the wednesdays and fridays | |
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Aug 2, 2019 23:56
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And that over there is Daniel the giraffe, David? David the giraffe, folks. Um, and his lovely wife... I'm gonna say Emily? |
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Aug 4, 2019 13:00
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Oh my god we've probably been introduced already but I'm horrible with names |
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Aug 4, 2019 15:10
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| am just realizing something shocking: the guide is probably "high" on marijuana which is why he can't remember the names of the animals | |
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Aug 4, 2019 16:39
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 04:52 |
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Points at a tortoise "Look kids, it's Gamera! Hi Gamera!"
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Aug 4, 2019 17:24
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