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Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Saw a movie late at night on cable (this would have been around 1991?). It was foreign, and subtitled. I only remember two scenes from it:

1.) A kid (I think) says something along the lines of "I never liked this painting. In fact, I hate it!" and slashes it up with a knife.

2.) An outdoor scene at night in which someone says "And now for the fireworks!" and they set off, like, four bottle rockets and everyone oohs and ahhs over it.

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Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

DocBubonic posted:

I've been curious about a book I read back in elementary school. This was during the early eighties, I remember reading a book about ghosts and paranormal stuff. I believe the book was for kids. It was larger than a regular book, more like the size of a magazine. The cover was like a trade paper back book. It also was completely illustrated. This book might have been part of a series, but I'm not sure. Not sure if anyone has a clue on where to even start looking for such a thing.



This was published in 1977, so it very well could have still been on the shelves, especially in a school library, and was roughly the print format you describe.

Searching for the title and such online also brings back a lot of reviews along the lines of "I'd been looking for this for years," etc., so it seems like it made an impression. You can read the whole text on the Internet Archive, and there are plenty of single page scans to look at, as well.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

The Dregs posted:

Here's one I've been looking for for like 20 years, even posted in these threads before. This was mid to late 80's. I had a Choose Your Own Adventure book that was extra super hard. It bragged about it on the cover. It was 2-3 times as thick as a regular CHOA book, and I don't think it was affiliated with them at all, nor Lone Wolf. It was sci-fi themed, and I think the cover had some space man cresting a hill with a gun in one hand. It was mostly red. I never did beat that fucker.

This might be The Badlands of Hark:



This and its sequel were both thick and notoriously difficult. Obviously, the difficulty cover-brag isn't here, but it might be on the back cover or on the title - I read the sequel and specifically remember the difficulty being An Announced Thing.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

DocBubonic posted:

Holy poo poo! I don't know how you found that, but I'm really impressed. Thanks!

Edit: I'm not surprised that other people remember this as fondly as I do. I think the illustrations really stuck in my head.

Well, speaking of —

https://twitter.com/Bob_Fischer/status/1159043285975011328

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

wankel13b posted:

2) Elementary school alphabet aid, where the letters were anthropomorphized. I am drawing a complete blank on any of their names, but I think S was Mr. Shoe. I want to say he wore wingtips.

This sounds like The Letter People.



Mr. S had super socks, which might be what you're remembering.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

I just remembered something I've been wanting to see again for ages, but haven't been able to find —

It was a commercial for... insurance? I think, and it was pretty unremarkable except for one line, spoken to the camera by the pitchman, and it went something like "This offer is valid in 49 states! Sorry, Tennessee."

Web searches seem to indicate that other people remember this phrase, but no one seems to have preserved the original commercial.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013


HOLY poo poo. Thank you so much!

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

bad posts ahead!!! posted:

a music video, camera pointed out a train window, everything passing by does so to the music. i remember telephone poles and stuff. probably electronic. circa 2000s?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S43IwBF0uM

I used to put this song on a loop and tear around on a motorcycle in the desert in GTA San Andreas for, like, hours

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Harmonia posted:

An ambient track called something like "Werewolf at midnight" if I remember it correctly.

No music, just recording of night insects making noise, leaves shuffling.. some bírd far away.

It doesn't even have any wolf howls, just these noises from a forest or lake. It might have been in some Halloween atmosphere album.

I had it on mp3 like 15-20 years ago. It would bring me back to the nostalgia of that era in my life.

I have tried searching it under different titles from youtube but no luck yet. Some stupid powermetal bands or reaction videos on some roleplaying game.

"Werewolf howls at midnight" "Werewolf at night" "Werewolf at midnight"

As years go by the memory of the correct title has been fading slowly from my mind.

I'd be willing to bet that it's the first track, "Night Creatures," off of New Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House from 1979. It's got everything you've described here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHGC9HrUBsE

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

I've got a really weird one:

This would have been in the mid-80s. A children's TV show I saw while home sick from school about the history of computers. The characters were, I believe, talking computer puppets, if that makes any sense. Like, this big, "older" computer was telling a smaller, younger computer about ENIAC and so on.

After this aired, there was a test pattern - this was a public access/educational channel - with the names of the upcoming broadcasts on it



and this electronic/synthesizer music played in the background, and I would LOVE to hear it again but I realize that's almost certainly impossible.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Archer666 posted:

Another animation movie that I saw during the same time. I'm almost certain its some kind of anime and again, I can barely remember it. There were like 3 main characters. It was sci-fi where evil robots hunted the characters after they had arrived on a planet. There was a big city. The most memorable scene was the main character being in a completely white room and he saw a skeleton reaching out to something... which turned out to be a gun.

I feel like this is Galaxy Express 999 (made in 1979 but released in English a few years later). It checks almost all of your boxes; the skeleton / white room / gun thing could be a few scenes sort of mashed together in memory.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Debunk This! posted:

A vhs cartoon compilation my parents must have picked up when my sister and I were kids had a segment on it called Bens Dream. Looking it up I found out it was based on a story but I can't seem to find any trace of the cartoon version anywhere, Ben 10 seems to have drowned out any chance of searching for things involving the name "Ben".



Any way thats the book and I distinctly remember the scene from the cover drawn almost identically and a bunch of other weird surreal scenes. Really wish I could find this and the tape it came on. :(

I couldn't find the clip in question, but the tape you watched was called Ben's Dream and Other Stories & Fun, aka Fun in a Box, vol. 1

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Rikimaru posted:

Not sure if this was ever answered but #1 is called Teknoman. In Japan it was called Tekkaman Blade. It’s what my avatar is from.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MURDGxx7FJo

You only need to watch the first two minutes and thirty-five seconds of this video in order to see one of the funniest things you will ever see.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

There was an early ARG called Majestic. I didn't subscribe to or play it myself, but was friends with someone that did, and I watched a few times. There was this series of electronic tones that played when the game client was booted up and it was one of the most chill and satisfying things of that kind I'd ever heard, but pretty much everything about that game seems lost to time.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013


I saved a screenshot because I was worried it would be edited into non-existence



I cannot reliably tell you what motivated me but the phrase "feasting on pickled hamhocks" probably had a lot to do with it

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

I've got a really difficult one, but this thread has been doing some amazing work, so I'm going for it.

I'm looking for a play, and I have no idea what it's called or what it was about. I'm pretty sure it was actually a published work and not someone's original manuscript, because the small chunk of it I found and read appeared to have been photocopied from a published script.

Anyway. Here's what I remember: the stage directions calling for a changing array of colored lights on the two actors, like solid red changing to blue and etc etc. The two actors are meant to be the President (or some other similarly high-ranking official) and a general (or again, some high-ranking military personnel). They're talking about using biological or chemical warfare. At various points through their conversation, pieces of their bodies fall off.

This is literally something I read once, found lying around in a classroom while I was waiting to be picked up from school. I didn't keep it because it wasn't mine, and I really (obviously) remember the mental image of that scene created by having read it more than I do its actual contents.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Teketeketeketeke posted:

Square Rounds by Tony Harrison, ~30+ yrs old
This one is a weird post-modern take on the history of weapons like machine guns and chemicals. A lot of it is basically scientists, inventors, and generals discussing the creations. I can't find a full text version yet, but there are tons of reviews from when it was popular in the early 90s. Many reviewers comment on the wild setpieces, with crazy lighting, pyrotechnics, costumes, etc. This fits the vivid mental scenery you recall.

This sounds really fascinating, but I think I can, unfortunately, rule it out - it's just a year too old. It was first performed in 1992 and the script was published in 1993, and I think I came across this scrap in 1990, 1991 at the absolute latest.


quote:

Poison Gas by Norman Anglin, 1928
This one was written by a guy with tons of WWI knowledge. The basic setup is that there's an arms-dealer on an airtight yacht discussing weapons and war, and eventually gets pissed off and debates gassing everybody else. (I think the ending is basically WW2 happening)

Now this has some promise:



(copied from Science-fiction, the Early Years: A Full Description of More Than 3,000 Science-fiction Stories from Earliest Times to the Appearance of the Genre Magazines in 1930 : with Author, Title, and Motif Indexes [1990])

Sounds strange as hell, especially for its time. The only sticking point I can think of is that the script appears to have been printed exactly once - I couldn't find any mention of reprints or anthologizing on Worldcat - in London in 1928. How a photocopy of that would have made its way to a small Texas town in the early 90s, I have no idea, but anything is possible.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

OK, so, inspired by Teketeketeketeke's findings, I did some more digging into Worldcat; specifically, I was looking for plays published before 1991 that had to do with war in some way, sorted by most recent first. Turns out that (a) there were a lot of plays written about nuclear war in the 1980s, big surprise, and (b) I might have found my mystery play. If this is actually it, I have misremembered a lot (which, again, big surprise), but it seems to fit in a dreamlike sort of way.

A review of a production of Arthur Kopit's "End of the World" (1984) contained this passage, which set some bells ringing:

quote:

Act II plunges protagonist and spectator into a succession of Washington conversations in which Trent attempts to identify and comprehend the rationale for prevailing nuclear policy.

In the process, he encounters a series of dizzying and often hilarious rationalizations as expressed by his government sources. They include a Pentagon general, a Soviet specialist, two think-tank types who rattle off their spiels as they stuff Cookin' Good chickens for a gourmet lunch, and a shadowy figure who finally keeps a promised rendezvous.

Trent hears things like: ''A bluff taken seriously is much more serious than a serious threat taken as a bluff. . . . We have to learn how to wage nuclear war rationally. . . . What you have to do is out-preempt them. . . .''

And it's on archive.org!









This feels pretty familiar, although of course I have no way of knowing for sure. I'm not calling it solved until I do some more looking but damned if this isn't close, and Kopit is a well-known enough playwright for this to have been accessible in a school/public library in 1990.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Double-posting: it could also possibly be "Final Orders" (1983) by Jean Claude Van Itallie.











This has two characters actively discussing using weapons against a civilian population, mentions of colors (and colored lights), nervous physicality and a sense of claustrophobia. If this isn't it, I have completely lost my drat mind.

Pastry of the Year fucked around with this message at 17:24 on Feb 7, 2020

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Hey, general question for folks looking for ads, what makes you want to rewatch old advertising?

from the liner notes to The Residents Commercial Album (1980) :

quote:

Point One – Pop Music is mostly a repetition of two types of musical and lyrical phrases: The verse and the chorus.

Point Two: These elements usually repeat three times in a three minute song, the type usually found on Top 40 radio.

Point Three: Cut out the fat, and a pop song is only one minute long. Then, record albums can hold their own Top 40: twenty minutes per side.

Point Four: One minute is also the length of most commercials, and therefore their corresponding jingles.

Point Five: Jingles are the music of America.

It could also be nostalgia for a certain aesthetic, or even just evoking the feeling of a certain place and time in one's life in which a given commercial was something like a briefly-lived but omnipresent backdrop.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

precision posted:

Talking of commercials, there was a late 90s one that as I recall kind of kicked off the trend of putting hip, lesser known bands in commercials. I believe it was a car commercial, and the song was a quiet folk song. The artist was from the 50s or 60s and because of the commercial, they became a much bigger deal than they'd ever been before and suddenly all the music magazines and critics were raving about how unappreciated they'd been - but the artist had died broke and young long before, so it was kind of sad

I believe you're thinking of "Pink Moon" by Nick Drake, which was used in a Volkswagen commercial in 1999.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

precision posted:

Edit: ^^^^ :stare: That's it! How did you find that so fast!

I was one of the many people that hadn't heard of Nick Drake until the resurgence of interest in his music that was more or less attributable to that commercial, and I also remember reading a few thinkpieces around that time about whether or not the use of his music in a commercial was ghoulish, given his particular set of circumstances.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

it's here



this is exactly it, this is one of my three great childhood mysteries solved and in my hands

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Maigius posted:

From ~1995 to ~2006 or so there was site that did pop culture battles. Two hosts set out their arguments why one side would win. The readers would then write in with their arguments and after a period of time the battle would be decided. Some that I remember are Princess Leia and Captain Janeway in a cat fight, Spock and Data in a best of three chess/humor/starship battle, and a chainsaw fight involving Barney, Westley, and Carrot Top.

http://grudge-match.com/current.html

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Porfiriato posted:

I doubt anyone here will have it, but I'll post my white whale anyway: a copy of the episodes of Ken Jennings's 74-game winning streak on Jeopardy!.

It was 2004 so you wouldn't think it's that difficult to find, but it was right on the cusp of widespread DVRs/digital streaming. Had it been just a few years later they'd probably all be on YouTube in lovely 244p from someone's pirated Dish Network stream.

From what I gather, copies exist in the wild, but only in the hands of tape traders, who sit Smaug-like on their basements full of hoarded VHS tapes and will only share a copy if you have something they don't, and who recoil in horror at the thought of digitizing their precious collections and putting them on YouTube for all to see. Otherwise, it seems like everything is locked in Sony Pictures' vault except a few scattered clips on YT, plus a couple episodes they re-broadcast when Jeopardy taping was shut down last year due to COVID.

Some, but not all, of them can be seen on the Internet Archive: https://archive.org/search.php?query=jennings%20jeopardy&and[]=mediatype%3A%22movies%22

If I'm reading these search results correctly, the episodes reaired on Game Show Network at some point, so that means archivists had more than one chance at recording them.

Media hoarders exist for sure, but in recent years I've seen a lot more of the attitude that "there's no point in saving things unless they're available to all," so hopefully you'll see more of the episodes you're looking for come to the surface.

e: the forums software really dislikes that URL, so you'll have to copy-paste it.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

I'd suggest asking in the retrogames thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3837622

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Twitch posted:

This one shouldn't be too hard: it's a picture of a caption from a lovely webcomic that says something like "whoa, can't show that in a christian manga!". I need it so I can periodically use it to reply to people in texts.

It's got an entire Know Your Meme page dedicated to it.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Carwash oval office posted:

A book from my childhood “How to be funny”.

Would have been from the 80s, I remember it being pretty meta for the time. It was intentionally terrible advice. Like, how to tell a run on joke that never has a punchline. I’d like to see if it holds up at all, I was really into Naked Gun as a kid and this book fits into that type of humour, but I can find no evidence of it existing.



https://archive.org/details/howtobefunnyextr00stin

Is this it?

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

huh posted:

You know those old Usborne books, 1000 first words in Spanish and that sort of thing?


As a child in the 80s I had one that was either Usborne or the illustrations were the same. Lots of tiny detail and very cartoony. In this book, on every page, there was a small dog somewhere in the scene. I think it was a black and white dog - but maybe it was tan.


Generally each illustration was of some thing that was typical of a particular region in Europe.

I think there was an illustration of a canal and a long boat going down it, for example. And the small dog was on it.


Or maybe I'm conflating a whole bunch of things. Eventually you find everything and the nostalgia well starts to dry up.

I think you are conflating some things, because I specifically remember those Usborne picture dictionaries and it was a little yellow duck hidden in every scene. The illustrator was Stephen Cartwright.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

hexwren posted:

• A children's book, extant somewhere in the 1988-1990 period. Could have sworn it won a Caldecott, but none of the winners seemed to match. It was based on, if memory serves, indigenous legends of the americas...which I know is a lot of space and a lot of cultures, but it's also a long time ago and I barely remember any of it. The art was in bright, almost neon colors on black pages.

This sounds like Arrow to the Sun. Way older than 1988 (1974!) but any good children's library would have it.





Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

hexwren posted:

That's the one, thanks a lot!

I'm glad! It was also adapted into a short animated film that's really worth a watch.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

spouse posted:

Also if anyone has a good listing of lovely shareware rpgs on windows/dos from the early 90's, I'd love to pore through it, been trying to find a game i remember almost nothing about I played on my dad's laptop. He got it from some "100 games in one!" floppy disk collection and I played it on his super early laptop, which was like magic back then. I still remember how they let you play the 1st level then wanted $30 to keep going and my Dad was not amenable to that.

There are over 3,000 shareware CD-ROM disc images on the Internet Archive. If you remember anything about this game, you can search within that collection to narrow down your hunt.

I know CD-ROMs seem like they're overshooting the "early 90s" mark, but a lot of that software was churned and re-churned to pad out compilations for a long time. But here's MS-DOS shareware if that helps.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

"More about the hair:

She skipped the shower around noon. As said same goes with me. Then we took the underwater tests. My sister had to wear tight pants and a sports bra, so she enjoyed every minute of going underwater. Before that she tried to put her hair up but she wasn't allowed to. The doctor said no. So she did to her hair like what I see when I go down to the YMCA and see where girls pretend to pull their hair back."

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Milo and POTUS posted:

Is it me or have internet search engines gotten far loving worse?

I genuinely believe so, yes.

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Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Milo and POTUS posted:

It's like Ahab finally locating moby dick and he shows him his collection of anime figurines. Just a real back out of the room moment

yeah that's deeply weird but that feels more like "art student who is aware of weird horny online poo poo having a laugh" than it does "made with a relentless and unexamined horny sincerity"

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