"we gonna ignore the fact that i've GOT A HUGE BOOTY,"

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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

every day she screams this phase into the ether. her voice emanating from this house only to get lost in the void. knick knacks knocked off of shelves, umbrella stand tumbles onto the floor and I say nothing. I do not even look in her direction. "we gonna ignore the fact that i've GOT A HUGE BOOTY," she screams again and again. the bookshelf has fallen over. Books are everywhere. I cannot acknowledge it. I MUST ignore the fact that she GOT A HUGE BOOTY. Such is the Orphean deal that I have made with the gods. We no longer share a bed, There is no longer any room for me, but I can never utter why. I MUSE ignore the fact that SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY else all i will be lost. Is a life where all I can do is ignore the face that sheGOT A BIG BOOTY even worth living? But the question is moot, as I am bound by duty and divine contract and I am a man of honor.

# ? Aug 7, 2019 00:15

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 14:49

lost my old email

in many ways butts are the rear end of the body

_{_{_{_{_{_{woooooo tiny shout out to deaf sex woooooooo it is spooky and i should have slept more posting up a storm this night wooooooooooooo i say. tiny shout out to mocking quantum also that guy rules. whoooooooooooo}}}}}}

# ? Aug 7, 2019 00:21

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

"I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one's burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself, forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus with a HUGE BOOTY" -Albert Camus

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Aug 7, 2019 00:45

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

"we gonna ignore the fact that i've GOT A HUGE BOOTY,"

I imagine a shoe. A very large shoe. A very large boot. No. There is not a giant boot in here. How can I ignore something that is not here? In this, perhaps I can find some peace.

# ? Aug 7, 2019 00:49

Macnult

thinking about the fact that she�s got a huge booty

# ? Aug 7, 2019 05:11

Macnult

adhering to the 5 step research process despite my confident hunch

# ? Aug 7, 2019 05:14

nut

you're being a real ignoreanus right now

# ? Aug 7, 2019 06:37

vanisher

Macnult posted:

adhering to the 5 step research process despite my confident hunch

# ? Aug 7, 2019 16:21

vanisher

Oh my god that booty is huge

"You mean, if you compare that booty to others, its objectively larger than the average? I'd like to see your research."

# ? Aug 7, 2019 16:26

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

Becky uses her Mix-a-lot money to start a telephone support hotline for women plagued by phantasms of rappers' girlfriends

crimes

# ? Aug 7, 2019 16:28

google THIS

Your honor, the fact that my client GOT A HUGE BOOTY is inadmissible and I move that it be stricken from the record.

# ? Aug 7, 2019 17:36

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

tired of the looks we get in public together as i drag around a treasure chest overflowing with gold coins, jewels, and priceless art

# ? Aug 7, 2019 19:33

nut

it make it hard 2 walk

# ? Aug 7, 2019 20:50

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

Walking around in my sweatpants that have NOTHING TO SEE HERE written on the backside.

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Aug 7, 2019 22:59

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Sir Mix-A-Lot leading Eurydice out of the realm of Hades, the exit is within sight now. Just a few feet to go, and all he has to do is ignore the fact that she GOT A HUGE BOOTY. Suddenly, Hades himself appears and asks, "Oh, forgot to mention, I've always wondered what you consider your lover's most attractive physical feature. What, would you say, is her greatest asset, if you will? And keep in mind, I know that you cannot lie."

# ? Aug 7, 2019 23:14

FutonForensic

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Sir Mix-A-Lot leading Eurydice out of the realm of Hades, the exit is within sight now. Just a few feet to go, and all he has to do is ignore the fact that she GOT A HUGE BOOTY. Suddenly, Hades himself appears and asks, "Oh, forgot to mention, I've always wondered what you consider your lover's most attractive physical feature. What, would you say, is her greatest asset, if you will? And keep in mind, I know that you cannot lie."

# ? Aug 7, 2019 23:36

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

Aaah gently caress!! I scream as I clutch at my heart, the room is spinning, my vision is a smear of colors and bright exploding stars, I hear the muddled and drowned out din of smashing and clattering as my left arm flails and knocks over all the insulin in the pharmacy, I can hear the thudding footsteps of the pharmacy techs rushing over as my vision slowly fades to black and the world turns askew as my body hurtles towards the ground in slow motion.

I can feel everything slipping away, the last words I manage to utter before I pass out in a giant frothing pink pool of perforated Pepto Bismols is "Aaaah poo poo.... bro... my rear end too drat big and the suppositories can't fit.... between my cheeks..."

Lil Swamp Booger Baby fucked around with this message at 01:58 on Aug 8, 2019

# ? Aug 8, 2019 01:55

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

Wrong thread

Lil Swamp Booger Baby fucked around with this message at 02:33 on Aug 8, 2019

# ? Aug 8, 2019 02:31

FutonForensic

# ? Aug 8, 2019 03:15

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

FutonForensic posted:

holy poo poo

# ? Aug 8, 2019 03:39

Goons Are Gifts

FutonForensic posted:

# ? Aug 8, 2019 14:26

nut

magic cactus posted:

Walking around in my sweatpants that have NOTHING TO SEE HERE written on the backside.

FutonForensic posted:

# ? Aug 8, 2019 15:54

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

Lesser Gluteus Invisibility

crimes

# ? Aug 8, 2019 17:47

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Lesser Gluteus Invisibility

Bigby's Clapping Cheeks

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Aug 8, 2019 18:53

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

She asks me if her new jeans "make her butt look big". I freeze. Trapped in a quantum superposition: Schrodinger's rear end

magic cactus fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Aug 8, 2019

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Aug 8, 2019 18:56

google THIS

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Lesser Gluteus Invisibility

You still succeeded at your HUGE BOOTY perception check, roll for initiative.

# ? Aug 8, 2019 19:04

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

google THIS posted:

You still succeeded at your HUGE BOOTY perception check, roll for initiative.

Rolling a persuasion check on myself to convince myself she doesn't have a HUGE BOOTY

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Aug 8, 2019 20:45

google THIS

Mentally subtracting several inches from the hip measurement. The pants will be ill-fitting but the customer is always right.

# ? Aug 8, 2019 20:56

nut

twerkers comp for when nobody puts a bill in ur g string even thought u've got a huge booty

# ? Aug 8, 2019 22:14

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Nobody dares mention it, but the minoan civilization was actually destroyed by a bootyquake

# ? Aug 8, 2019 22:20

PHIZ KALIFA: #mood

ancient sailors had to avert their gaze from certain twin volcanic islands lest they be driven mad by the visage of phantasmal aquatic HUGE BOOTY

crimes

# ? Aug 9, 2019 04:03

Escape From Noise

What kind of monster ignores a HUGE BOOTY???

# ? Aug 9, 2019 07:48

google THIS

You know, looking back, we all saw the signs that she GOT A HUGE BOOTY, but we didn't say anything until it was too late. Don't make the same mistake, or the only way you'll see that she GOT A HUGE BOOTY...is in hindsight.

# ? Aug 11, 2019 01:26

Escape From Noise

google THIS posted:

You know, looking back, we all saw the signs that she GOT A HUGE BOOTY, but we didn't say anything until it was too late. Don't make the same mistake, or the only way you'll see that she GOT A HUGE BOOTY...is in hindsight.

# ? Aug 11, 2019 03:21

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

lieutenant colombo is leaving the room unable to crack the suspect. he pauses and says "just one more thing, i can't figure it out. how could any of this have happened to a victim with such a small, flat, uninteresting, hank hill-esque booty?"

the suspect's confident smirk fades and turns to anger

# ? Aug 11, 2019 03:48

The Klowner: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

canyoneer posted:

lieutenant colombo is leaving the room unable to crack the suspect. he pauses and says "just one more thing, i can't figure it out. how could any of this have happened to a victim with such a small, flat, uninteresting, hank hill-esque booty?"

the suspect's confident smirk fades and turns to anger

# ? Aug 11, 2019 06:13

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

canyoneer posted:

lieutenant colombo is leaving the room unable to crack the suspect. he pauses and says "just one more thing, i can't figure it out. how could any of this have happened to a victim with such a small, flat, uninteresting, hank hill-esque booty?"

the suspect's confident smirk fades and turns to anger

# ? Aug 11, 2019 16:19

Heather Papps: hello friend

denise i am blind and i have no hands. i can't tell if you have a huge booty or not, because i love you and will not touch anothers booty to compare. we have been over this i am not ignoring it i just have no frame of reference. i love your booty, that is what matters.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!