Are all web browsers huge piles of crap? Why?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Are all web browsers huge piles of crap? Why?

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

Why is every web browser a steaming pile of crap?? :bahgawd:

Slow as heck, needing to download a ton of plugins to get poo poo to work, stealing all your precious data, sounding alarms every 4 minutes etc.

I just want a simple way to look at stupid stuff on the internet. Nerd goons, help me out here!

And also talk about your cool browser stories itt (in this thread)!!

# ? Aug 10, 2019 12:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 09:30

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

shut up blegum posted:

Why is every web browser a steaming pile of crap??
Slow as heck, needing to download a ton of plugins to get poo poo to work, stealing all your precious data, sounding alarms every 4 minutes etc.

I just want a simple way to look at stupid stuff on the internet. Nerd goons, help me out here!

And also talk about your cool browser stories itt (in this thread)!!

Firefox seems ok.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 12:44

Nastyman: Jul 11, 2007; There they sit
at the foot of the mountain
Taking hits
of the sacred smoke
Fire rips at their lungs
Holy mountain take us away

Me, gazing into the giant pile of dinosaur poo poo from Jurassic Park: these binoculars loving suck

# ? Aug 10, 2019 12:45

Noblesse Obliged: Apr 7, 2012

Bitch; do i look like i simply BROWSE the internet?

# ? Aug 10, 2019 12:45

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

purple death ray posted:

Firefox seems ok.

I don't know, it probably goes through your underwear drawer when you're not at home or something like that

# ? Aug 10, 2019 12:48

ArchNemesis: Jun 27, 2007; College Slice

because we need all this bullshit to support the terribly bloated javascript shitpiles powering the constant barrage of advertisements that bounce and beep all over the loving place constantly

# ? Aug 10, 2019 12:50

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

Maybe stop trying to search the interwebs on a Dell from 1998, grandpa.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 12:53

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Heh �nutscrape� navigator

# ? Aug 10, 2019 13:05

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

Universe Master posted:

Maybe stop trying to search the interwebs on a Dell from 1998, grandpa.

I'm using the built-in browser in my smart TV I picked up in 2009 idiot

# ? Aug 10, 2019 13:17

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

It's because the browser is free, and that poo poo is the only way they make money OP.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 13:18

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I don't browse, I surf :coolfish:

# ? Aug 10, 2019 13:23

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

It's because the browser is free, and that poo poo is the only way they make money OP.

Why hasn't anyone made a browser that costs :10bux:

but just works? That would make more money imo

# ? Aug 10, 2019 13:30

RobattoJesus: Aug 13, 2002

shut up blegum posted:

Why hasn't anyone made a browser that costs but just works? That would make more money imo

This is like a prisoner offering the people who own a prison 10 bux to let them out. I mean it makes financial sense until you realise that lmao you're their property and they're using the info you generate to dominate markets, influence elections and basically take over the entire world.

Now please go back to being mind-controlled by billionaires and stop questioning any of this thank you very much.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 13:48

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

shut up blegum posted:

Why hasn't anyone made a browser that costs but just works? That would make more money imo

They did, it was called Opera and it owned :rip:

# ? Aug 10, 2019 13:51

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

Heh “nutscrape” navigator

firecocks lol

# ? Aug 10, 2019 13:59

sandwiches_and_ham: Aug 2, 2018; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

this is how i roll, op

# ? Aug 10, 2019 14:07

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Every web browser sucks in one way or another so you have to find the one which sucks the least for you

mobby_6kl posted:

They did, it was called Opera and it owned

Try out Vivaldi, it's made by the original opera crew. It's not quite the same but gets a lot of things right.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 14:11

Icochet: Mar 18, 2008; I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~; Grimey Drawer

My secretary prints out any interesting internet for me to read over breakfast

# ? Aug 10, 2019 14:11

sandwiches_and_ham: Aug 2, 2018; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Icochet posted:

My secretary prints out any interesting internet for me to read over breakfast

so you're the fucker who's been spilling cornflakes all over the internet

# ? Aug 10, 2019 14:15

bus hustler: Mar 14, 2019

OP have you tried being less poor? A $3,500 water cooled PC runs firefox just fine.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 14:19

Nastyman: Jul 11, 2007; There they sit
at the foot of the mountain
Taking hits
of the sacred smoke
Fire rips at their lungs
Holy mountain take us away

Lol if you dont browse exclusively on telnet. Enjoy your auto-playing midis and your Under Construction signs, brain Einsteins.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 14:56

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

I like vivaldi

# ? Aug 10, 2019 15:05

sudonim: Oct 6, 2005

ArchNemesis posted:

because we need all this bullshit to support the terribly bloated javascript shitpiles powering the constant barrage of advertisements that bounce and beep all over the loving place constantly

I have met many Javascript developers and not a single one actually likes the language. They have nothing but complaints about it and what other people do with it.

That's part of the problem, actually: web developers constantly trying to reinvent how webpages work and browser developers are stuck having to support all of it

# ? Aug 10, 2019 15:10

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

It's because the browser is free, and that poo poo is the only way they make money OP.

It's this.

Back in the 90s, you had to go to Best Buy and buy Netscape Navigator in a box with a CD-ROM in it. Then Windows included Internet Explorer for free and everyone's expected browsers to be free ever since.

shut up blegum posted:

Why hasn't anyone made a browser that costs but just works? That would make more money imo

This will be a popular option on a forum with a :10bux:

registration fee, but the rest of the world expects everything on the internet to be free, and don't really care that Facebook, Google, Twitter, Reddit, etc. make their money by compiling and selling their data.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 15:26

Rhadamanthus: Dec 12, 2004; I roll a lotta sushi, roll 'em fat like John Belushi; call me Desi Arnaz, dogg, I love the Lucy.

I did an autism shriek completely sustained between when I installed that loving wrecked version of Opera after they ruined it and when I found and installed Vivaldi

I want my tabs ON THE loving BOTTOM, YOU FUCKSMELLERS

# ? Aug 10, 2019 15:28

Prav: Oct 29, 2011

charity rereg posted:

A $3,500 water cooled PC runs firefox just fine.

i wish

# ? Aug 10, 2019 15:34

Taima: Dec 31, 2006; tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

shut up blegum posted:

Why hasn't anyone made a browser that costs but just works? That would make more money imo

... you mean Safari?

# ? Aug 10, 2019 15:38

Pursued by bees: Jan 1, 2013; heartful of fire
with no one left to tell

sandwiches_and_ham posted:

this is how i roll, op

Is internet information bro like a title you earn or...?

# ? Aug 10, 2019 16:07

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Stevie Lee posted:

I like vivaldi

Rhadamanthus posted:

I did an autism shriek completely sustained between when I installed that loving wrecked version of Opera after they ruined it and when I found and installed Vivaldi

I want my tabs ON THE loving BOTTOM, YOU FUCKSMELLERS

hell yeah vivaldi crew

# ? Aug 10, 2019 16:11

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

SO DEMANDING posted:

hell yeah vivaldi crew

SO DEMANDING posted:

Every web browser sucks in one way or another so you have to find the one which sucks the least for you

Try out Vivaldi, it's made by the original opera crew. It's not quite the same but gets a lot of things right.

Knowing that it's the same chrome garbage underneath ruins it a bit but it's still the least sucky browser right now.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 16:14

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

I like Chrome.

Come st me u freaking dweebs. My toilet is ready to accept your heads for swirlies.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 16:26

supernatural blonde: Mar 15, 2005; Lipstick Apathy

Rhadamanthus posted:

I want my tabs ON THE loving BOTTOM, YOU FUCKSMELLERS

That's just weird.

Vivaldi is pretty good and Opera is good for the free vpn. I used to love Firefox for the customization and extensions but it breaks every time there's an update and can never keep it's poo poo together when it comes to playing video. Chrome is pure garbage.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 16:55

Arrhythmia: Jul 22, 2011

I use Netscape navigator

# ? Aug 10, 2019 16:57

Shut up Meg: Jan 8, 2019; You're safe here.

Chinatown posted:

I like Chrome.

I feel that there is a guy in Google who is responsible for watching every single thing I do on the internet when I use Chrome.

9-5, that is all he does.

His name is probably 'Bob'.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 17:03

Bruegels Fuckbooks: Sep 14, 2004; Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit! Yeah. I can prove it mathematically.

Chinatown posted:

I like Chrome.

Come st me u freaking dweebs. My toilet is ready to accept your heads for swirlies.

i remember doing a phone interview with someone from google who injected the phrase "if you would remember basic high school math" into the end at some point (it was not a good interview.)

i've spent literally months inside the chromium source code in the years since. it's a loving miracle it works at all.

from the outside you might remember stupid glitches like "every time i play a video on youtube, two actually start playing at the same time, and when I pause the one, the duplicate keeps playing until I terminate the browser" or "every time I play a you tube video, and switch to a different tab, and switch to the previously enabled tab, the video no longer plays", but trust me weeks of my life have been wasted by glitches like the time ajax requests couldn't be initiated by the browser while the left mouse button was held down for a couple of months.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 17:06

serious norman: Dec 13, 2007; im pickle rick!!!!

Hello All W. Browsers

# ? Aug 10, 2019 17:07

uguu: Mar 9, 2014

Shut up Meg posted:

I feel that there is a guy in Google who is responsible for watching every single thing I do on the internet when I use Chrome.

9-5, that is all he does.

His name is probably 'Bob'.

My name's not bob.
Firefox, ublock origin and noscript does the trick for me op, not sure where you're browsin though.

# ? Aug 10, 2019 17:07