where have all the truck nutz gone

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Escape From Noise

Alternate answer: un-tint your windows.

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:26

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 10:20

Heather Papps: hello friend

hey um guys my car is wearing a bra and i think it's a front clasp i don't know how to get it off help

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:28

Escape From Noise

Maybe don't jump straight to removing the bra.

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:32

Heather Papps: hello friend

i can read signals wink wink

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:35

Heather Papps: hello friend

Heather Papps posted:

i can read signals wink wink

it is a car joke

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:35

Piso Mojado

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

New million dollar idea: Truck Pantz.

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:36

Piso Mojado

wife: What are you doing? If you remove them, how will people know your truck, and you by proxy, have nutz?

me: *points to blue lives matters decal* oh, they'll know

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:39

Heather Papps: hello friend

i don't need nutz on my truck, i have a shirt that tells everyone i drive a forklift for a living and i don't
give
a
gently caress

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:40

Piso Mojado

Heather Papps posted:

i don't need nutz on my truck, i have a shirt that tells everyone i drive a forklift for a living and i don't
give
a
gently caress

next byob bumper sticker slogan right here

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:42

google THIS

Truck is all excited that we're going for a drive, little does he know we're going to the body shop to give him the snip. We're still trying to find homes for all the Tonkas the neighbor's truck had after the last time he slipped off his parking brake.

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:43

Piso Mojado

personally I am less sexually attracted to trucks without their nutz

# ? Aug 13, 2019 17:49

Mortley: aux tep unt rep uni ovi

Gotta unload fast!

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# ? Aug 13, 2019 18:07

Heather Papps: hello friend

Mortley posted:

Gotta unload fast!

he's a real lightning mcqueen in the sac, if you know what i mean

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 18:26

Escape From Noise

Greased lightning!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 18:28

Heather Papps: hello friend

Heather Papps posted:

he's a real lightning mcqueen in the sac, if you know what i mean

he leaves skidmarks in your bed

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 18:31

Escape From Noise

So do I but that's why I keep getting dumped.

# ? Aug 13, 2019 18:33

Heather Papps: hello friend

listen lady, i may have pledged myself to you in marriage, BUT I WILL DIE BEFORE I GIVE UP MY TRUCK NUTS OR WIPE MY rear end

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 18:34

Escape From Noise

Heather Papps posted:

listen lady, i may have pledged myself to you in marriage, BUT I WILL DIE BEFORE I GIVE UP MY TRUCK NUTS OR WIPE MY rear end

This but it's airbrushed on a t-shirt.

# ? Aug 13, 2019 18:45

Heather Papps: hello friend

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

This but it's airbrushed on a t-shirt.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 18:53

vanisher

Heather Papps posted:

listen lady, i may have pledged myself to you in marriage, BUT I WILL DIE BEFORE I GIVE UP MY TRUCK NUTS OR WIPE MY rear end

Woke up last night to my wife wiping my rear end in my sleep. The ultimate betrayal.

# ? Aug 13, 2019 18:53

Twenty Four

Rear-ending someone out on the road, and claiming it was not my fault, my truck was just horny.

"Whatever, your truck doesn't even have nuts!"

*Me, sweating, and pulling on the collar of my shirt*

Twenty Four fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Aug 13, 2019

# ? Aug 13, 2019 19:01

Heather Papps: hello friend

Twenty Four posted:

Rear-ending someone out on the road, and claiming it was not my fault, my truck was just horny.

"Whatever, your truck doesn't even have nuts!"

*Me, sweating, and pulling on the collar of my shirt*

i pull over so my truck can gently caress

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 20:00

nut

he looks more like a lightning mcking from back here

# ? Aug 13, 2019 22:54

nut

had to bring grandpa 2 emerg again, he parked on his nutz

# ? Aug 13, 2019 22:58

cda: by Hand Knit

quote:

A number of people claim to have invented the truck nuts industry (i.e. plastic store-bought truck nuts). David Ham,[3] owner of YourNutz.com, said he saw a pair of custom truck nuts at a rally in the 1980s, then in 1996 began manufacturing and selling plastic truck nuts commercially. John D. Sallers, owner of BullsBalls.com, says he was out driving his 4x4 off-road when someone yelled: "Go Ernie, show'em you got balls!", which inspired the idea and he began selling them in 2002. The two men sold Truck Nuts through the late 1990s and 2000s, competing both in the market and in private, exchanging angry phone calls and emails. This conflict escalated into public relations wars, social media conflicts, posts on review sites, blog attack posts, and finally leading to legal cease and desist orders.[3] Vice News wrote a story about the feud called "Balls Out: The Weird Story of the Great Truck Nuts War".[3]

My guess is that it is now illegal to sell truck nutz, due to patent infringement concerns.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Aug 13, 2019 23:12

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

they made them illegal here because they're gross

# ? Aug 13, 2019 23:15

nut

i took mine off because my truck kept peeing in the house

# ? Aug 13, 2019 23:18

cda: by Hand Knit

pee isn't stored in the...oh wait

# ? Aug 13, 2019 23:29

nut

u think i'm gonna buy blue fluid for my windshield from a store when i could just slowly accrue it 1x/month

# ? Aug 13, 2019 23:31

Android Blues

(reading thread title) and where are all the hogs...

# ? Aug 13, 2019 23:54

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

cda posted:

My guess is that it is now illegal to sell truck nutz, due to patent infringement concerns.

"If I can't have Truck Nutz, then nobody can!" -both David Ham and John D. Sallers simultaneously

# ? Aug 14, 2019 00:55

FreshCutFries

cda posted:

My guess is that it is now illegal to sell truck nutz, due to patent infringement concerns.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

"If I can't have Truck Nutz, then nobody can!" -both David Ham and John D. Sallers simultaneously

denying humanity trucknuts is capitalism's greatest evil so far

# ? Aug 14, 2019 00:58

nut

i thought they cut them all up to make neuticles

# ? Aug 14, 2019 01:00

alnilam

The world is changed. I feel it in the road. I feel it in the gears. I smell it in the air.

Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the great stickers: three Punisher logos were given to the tough guys, immortal, toughest and most belligerent of all beings. Seven Calvin Peeing decals to the Truck Lords; great racers and runners of the demo derbies. And nine, nine blue lives matter logos were gifted to the race of old white men, who above all else desire to suck up to power. For within these decals was bound the machismo to make the most of each truck. But they were all of them deceived, for another thing was made: in the land of New Mexico, in the fires of a backyard forge, the dark lord Dan Hall forged, in secret, plastic truck nutz to control all others. And into deez nutz, he poured his toxic masculinity, his don't give a gently caress attitude, and his will to dominate the roads.

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Aug 14, 2019 01:11

vanisher

alnilam posted:

The world is changed. I feel it in the road. I feel it in the gears. I smell it in the air.

Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the great stickers: three Punisher logos were given to the tough guys, immortal, toughest and most belligerent of all beings. Seven Calvin Peeing decals to the Truck Lords; great racers and runners of the demo derbies. And nine, nine blue lives matter logos were gifted to the race of old white men, who above all else desire to suck up to power. For within these decals was bound the machismo to make the most of each truck. But they were all of them deceived, for another thing was made: in the land of New Mexico, in the fires of a backyard forge, the dark lord Dan Hall forged, in secret, plastic truck nutz to control all others. And into deez nutz, he poured his toxic masculinity, his don't give a gently caress attitude, and his will to dominate the roads.

# ? Aug 14, 2019 02:10

nut

alnilam posted:

The world is changed. I feel it in the road. I feel it in the gears. I smell it in the air.

Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the great stickers: three Punisher logos were given to the tough guys, immortal, toughest and most belligerent of all beings. Seven Calvin Peeing decals to the Truck Lords; great racers and runners of the demo derbies. And nine, nine blue lives matter logos were gifted to the race of old white men, who above all else desire to suck up to power. For within these decals was bound the machismo to make the most of each truck. But they were all of them deceived, for another thing was made: in the land of New Mexico, in the fires of a backyard forge, the dark lord Dan Hall forged, in secret, plastic truck nutz to control all others. And into deez nutz, he poured his toxic masculinity, his don't give a gently caress attitude, and his will to dominate the roads.

# ? Aug 14, 2019 02:43

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

alnilam posted:

The world is changed. I feel it in the road. I feel it in the gears. I smell it in the air.

Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the great stickers: three Punisher logos were given to the tough guys, immortal, toughest and most belligerent of all beings. Seven Calvin Peeing decals to the Truck Lords; great racers and runners of the demo derbies. And nine, nine blue lives matter logos were gifted to the race of old white men, who above all else desire to suck up to power. For within these decals was bound the machismo to make the most of each truck. But they were all of them deceived, for another thing was made: in the land of New Mexico, in the fires of a backyard forge, the dark lord Dan Hall forged, in secret, plastic truck nutz to control all others. And into deez nutz, he poured his toxic masculinity, his don't give a gently caress attitude, and his will to dominate the roads.

Two Nutz to rule them all, Two Nutz to find them
Two Nutz to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them

# ? Aug 14, 2019 03:00

Escape From Noise

The ancient practice of nut binding. Women found the small, delicate nuts created by the practice beautiful and many men of the era felt that their chances of finding a marriage partner were almost nil if they did not get their nuts bound.

# ? Aug 14, 2019 04:03

FreshCutFries

alnilam posted:

The world is changed. I feel it in the road. I feel it in the gears. I smell it in the air.

Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the great stickers: three Punisher logos were given to the tough guys, immortal, toughest and most belligerent of all beings. Seven Calvin Peeing decals to the Truck Lords; great racers and runners of the demo derbies. And nine, nine blue lives matter logos were gifted to the race of old white men, who above all else desire to suck up to power. For within these decals was bound the machismo to make the most of each truck. But they were all of them deceived, for another thing was made: in the land of New Mexico, in the fires of a backyard forge, the dark lord Dan Hall forged, in secret, plastic truck nutz to control all others. And into deez nutz, he poured his toxic masculinity, his don't give a gently caress attitude, and his will to dominate the roads.

# ? Aug 14, 2019 09:50

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 10:20

Manifisto

I met a traveler from a redneck land
who said - "two vast and wrinkled orbs of steel
lie in the desert - near them, on the sand,
half sunk a shattered pickup lies
and on the bumper, these words appear:
look on my truck nutz, ye mighty, and despair!

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Aug 14, 2019 13:45

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > where have all the truck nutz gone

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