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fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




post itt every time your body is decaying due to old age

fart simpson fucked around with this message at 11:15 on May 11, 2021

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fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




i have my girlfriend pop my si joint every couple days to relieve constant low lvl back pain

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




your welcome :)

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Jonny 290 posted:

2 years ago i fractured a rib attempting to unbolt a power steering pump from underneath my car.

10 years ago i got a hernia from attempting to unscrew a clutch line from a slave cylinder

i am TERRIBLE underneath cars

sounds like you just need to take it easy old man

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Chopstick Dystopia posted:

Yesterday I yawned while I was stretching my arms behind my back and I guess I yawned too deeply or something because now whenever I sit up straight my back hurts and I can't breathe properly.

lol rip

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




rear end posted:

Just stop drinking so much and start working out. That's how your body stops falling apart at older age.

i donít think you can ever stop it tbh

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




rotor posted:

oh man i still have some t-shirts i had when i was in high school soooo

they made t shirts back then? i thought they were a relatively modern invention

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




no mods no masters

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




my grandfather has severe alzheimers now and heís in his 90s. itís sad and every time i see him he doesnít know who i am but he asks me to please kill him

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Agile Vector posted:

learning how to sew is a cool skill and also super relaxing

i have a machine but still need to sit and learn it properly, just hand sewn mends and things

yeah. bought a sewing machine for my ex and she left it behind when she moved out so i decided to learn instead of getting rid of the machine. itís a fun and useful hobby

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Gentle Autist posted:

I have been an rear end-crack-asaurus for years. I tried clip on suspenders which worked ok but had a habit of violently, elastically detaching at innoportune moments. Squat or bend to pick something up from down low and POW


So I looked around and ending up ordering these:


they come with buttons. I sewed the buttons about a half inch either side of the corresponding belt loops on my trousers. I then button them on and wear them underneath my shirt - I always wear a singlet so they sit on top of that but underneath my T-shirt or dress shirt (rarely). Iím not patrick bateman enough to have them on display

they are very comfortable and completely solve my rear end-crack display problem. The only caveat is that you need to strip down to your underwear to take a poo poo, Kramer style, but unless you are low on fibre just git r dun in the morning and live the suspender life all day.

I have sewed buttons on a couple of pairs of trousers but need to go out and buy some more so I can have them on all of them

:waycool:

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Silver Alicorn posted:

thereís a thing called fashion

i think youíre posting in the wrong thread friend

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




echinopsis posted:

ďbut if we legalise it people will use itĒ,

isnt that the point

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Notorious b.s.d. posted:

the last time i tried to go ot a show the headliner started at 12:30 am and i... did not make it.

your old

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Gentle Autist posted:

ive experienced major depressive episodes at several points in my life but haven't had any for like 7 years now, and thankfully none since I've had kids. I could feel the black dog sniffing aroudn earlier this year and worked my way out of it with a routine of light nightly exercise (walking) and some CBT techniques I heard on russel brand's podcast (lol)

things that have helped me: a supportive relationship (huge), humility, and having my own little personal ethos. curiosity, empathy, and kindness are the principals to live by, and family and community are what makes you truly happy. I've been lucky to be able to earn good money and have good physical health. my thing this year has been to really focus in on patience and persistence, and being less judgemental

life is a loving bitch but I really do think that a lot of your experience of the world can be chosen. you can decide how to interpret things. even if that interpretation is hogshit, if it gets you through and you're not hurting others, it can be helpful. thats not to say making those choices is easy, or that mindset is dismissive of people's pain or struggle. no way. but framing things in that way makes it easier to feel better

im glad russel brands cock and ball torture saved your life, op

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




being old sucks. im glad im still young.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Uptime Sinclair posted:

youíre old even for this thread

he still writes personal checks and he likes it

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




echinopsis posted:

we spell it cheque to differentiate it from the same spelled but utterly different word ďcheckĒ

no we dont

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




graph posted:

i got the flu two years ago and its was 5 1/2 days of misery, i got a flu shot last year and it wrecked me for 3 days but i did not get the flu

gonna get re-vacc'd the 2nd week of october

same. i couldnít even stand up for three days

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




i donít think the flu shot does that mate

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Notorious b.s.d. posted:

orthorexia is a disease

micromanaging your micronutrients is not going to extend your life

but what if it does

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




echinopsis posted:

which one to lick

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




psiox posted:

i heard somewhere that this is super dangerous regarding nasal hairs

something about the risk of potential infection being way higher due to how quickly stuff can spread to your brain and then pop pop u ded

i heard this too but i assume, without reading up on it or asking a doctor, thatís itís some overblown thing where it happened once on record

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Gentle Autist posted:

my wife has gone away for 4 days so Iím off work and on full time childcare duty. my crazy 2 year old demanded to watch Jurassic Park this afternoon so I gave him his water bottle and some fruit and went into the backyard and cut down two trees with my chainsaw.

now both kids are in bed so Iíll sweep out the garage and then play far cry 5 while enjoying a nice cup of lady grey tea. just dad things

I would love to be a stay at home dad but fuckily my earning potential is like double my wifeís and my type of work (sales engineer/solutions architect) is super flexbile on hours so this is our best option

whats lady grey tea

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




DiggityDoink posted:

i love oolong. pu-ehr is also pretty tasty if you want a really strong flavored tea. i have to drive like 30 minutes to buy loose leaf tea though so i stock up every time i go


im regular in the sense that as soon as i take my first sip of coffee in the morning, i have to take a poo poo

i live right down the street from a huge wholesale tea market and some of the shops in there will sell small quantities to me. theyve got some weird ones that are pretty good, like an oolong that somehow smells like you put steamed milk in it but you didnt? anyway my favorite is 正山小种 which idk how to say in english.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




is that what it is? well the ones in china donít taste smoky like what ive had in america, itís more of a fruit flavor

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Schadenboner posted:

Im old, y'all. Lol.

lol.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




my right wrist started hurting pretty bad this week and then it popped really loudly and hurt less? ive never been able to do that with my wrists before. anyway problem solved. worksforme wontfix.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




NoneMoreNegative posted:

lol start of the week I woke up with a bad ache right in my lower back, didn't feel like a spine thing though. Hobbled through Monday and Tuesday, in bed early Wed morning I rolled over to check the time on my phone and twisted my pelvis / squeezed my legs together - a deep-seated 'clonk' like an expensive car door closing and everything felt a whole lot better. By early afternoon it was like it had never been bad.

I never knew you had mobile joints in your pelvis, but apparently the Sacroiliac is a thing, like Grandmaster Flash said.

i have to pop mine every day op

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Jerry Cotton posted:

Watch this, fuckers:

GOUTSE.CX

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




alcohol is the only known cure for diabetes

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




theadder posted:

how old is lowtax

57

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




rotor posted:

i never had a mid-life crisis because i did all that poo poo in my 20s like you're supposed to

you bought a sports car in your 20s?

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




*extremely nbsd voice* everyone dies

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




i didnít even know they made sports cars back then

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




that japanese channel sounds like itís extremely my poo poo

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Jerry Cotton posted:

So why exactly do you have a BDSM-gear-cock on your chin.

Oh wait that's a drat fool question isn't it :doh:

lol

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Shaggar posted:

cake in finland comes in bags

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




echinopsis posted:

what about your forums username

lol

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fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




Jerry Cotton posted:

I've transitioned from "I need more space for my home computer video game console systems" to "my tool and cleaning closets are way too small". (A steam cleaner is really great by the by. Mean gout in the joints but clean grout in the bathroom.)

agreed jerry

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