|
Tom Gorman posted:i have a bidet and a waterpik I suddenly got this vivid image in my head of using a waterpik to wash my rear end
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 20:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 21:29 |
|
|
HugeGrossBurrito posted:I eat an entire stick of deodorant every day I make sure I'm clean internally and externally by devouring my shampoo after I wash my hair.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 20:49
|
|
|
r u ready to WALK posted:I suddenly got this vivid image in my head of using a waterpik to wash my rear end I never said which one I used on which area
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 20:56
|
|
|
I use my wife’s razor she leaves in shower to shave my balls. It’s a veinous
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 20:56
|
|
|
just go to the zoo once a month and sneak into one of the monkey exhibits and let them pick all the bugs off you
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:00
|
|
|
i lower myself, Terminator 2 style, into a vat of nair.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:01
|
|
|
I asked my wife why she quit brushing the other day, noticing her toothbrush isn't in the cabinet. She just goes no I still do, I just use yours
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:02
|
|
|
Lets see I learned that a pretty thorough shave down there feels nice afterwards. The first time though, LOL. Machete through the jungle  Leaving a strip is preferred by me and if tidy is acceptable. I didn't use to floss every day but once you start (those floss pics make it easy as hell, too bad they are as ubiquitous as cig butts used to be re littering.) Once you see how much crap you get out every night you don't stop doing it!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:10
|
|
|
Paging user "Yeah I Eat rear end" to the thread. With a name like that he's clearly an expert. In my case, I only eat rear end in the shower, after I've cleaned the rear end to be licked. Also, I shower twice a day when I'm working and once a day on weekends. I don't drink coffee so my morning shower is like some people's morning coffee. Shave my face once a week, Fridays after work, in the shower. In the summer, my face sweats a lot and I can get pimples from time to time despite being almost 40. Its worse in the summer for that, and I work outside. I also shower beer, and have shower smoked. Both weed and harmless tobacco. Honestly, it wasn't that complicated. Brush teeth in shower too.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:13
|
|
wesleywillis posted:I also shower beer, and have shower smoked. Both weed and harmless tobacco. Honestly, it wasn't that complicated. I always had trouble getting the bic to flick with all the humidity. Better to smoke before, I think.
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:14
|
|
|
Burt Sexual posted:I use my wife’s razor she leaves in shower to shave my balls. It’s a veinous Hah! I have a Schick. Fellow Goon(ettes): these can also be used as microphones in the shower. My Shoes fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Aug 16, 2019 |
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:22
|
|
|
i dont shave my legs often but when i do i wear shorts and even roll up the cuff to show off my lean tonned and tanned muscular legs and rear end i even wish i could get away with a mini skirt but my dick and balls would hang out i mean thats not a bad thing but its not work appropriate attire
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:23
|
|
|
Resting Lich Face posted:I always had trouble getting the bic to flick with all the humidity. Better to smoke before, I think. I made sure to keep it out of the shower until needed. It'll work if your hand isn't completely covered with water. Also, the butane lighters with the little sparky things are good too. The type that have the nearly invisible flame. Its all about keeping your lighter dry (obviously) and keeping your lighting hand dry-ish. Also, joints are easier than bongs since you only have to light them once, and then just keep that hand elevated.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:24
|
|
|
My Shoes posted:And seriously wtf is rear end-eating hygiene? I asked you to stop calling me that 
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 21:59
|
|
|
Captain Hygiene posted:I asked you to stop calling me that HAHA!
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 22:04
|
|
|
I wake up, I do a pre shower body exfoliation, once in the shower I use a coconut oil body wash, when I'm out of the shower yet still somewhat moist I apply some body butter to moisturize and tone. I exfoliate my face, then I use a cleansing wash for acne/ruddiness, this is followed by retinol face cream and a retinoid eye cream, then a layer of non-oil based moisturizer. Once I return from work, I repeat the shower process, exfoliation first, but this time instead of the coconut oil I use a oat based body wash to rid myself of the grease and excess oil from sweat buildup while also counteracting dryness. After the shower I use a different body moisturizer comprised of coconut oil and some other ingredients in lieu of the body butter so I'm not over moisturizing. Then for my face I do a clay mask, but only every three days or so, this is to keep my face nice and matte and prevent acne. I then use an exfoliator/acid wash on my face to keep everything smooth and bright. I have a spray toner and cleanser I put on a cotton ball and brush on my face. Once that dries it's a stronger retinol night cream and a stronger retinol eye cream, since I don't have any place to be and the redness for an hour won't bother me. I don't apply any moisturizer right away, I'll wait a few hours and use a face oil right before sleep so it soaks in overnight. Once every week I'll oil up my whole body and let it soak in. I'll occasionally have a bath with a nice bath bomb. My shampoo is the thickening kind because I have curly hair, same with conditioner, once I week I use a strong anti-breakage combo instead. I only wash my hair maybe two or three times a week so I don't over do it and maintain healthy levels of oil on my scalp. I apply a very, very small amount of curl cream and argain oil after each hair wash. For my teeth it's a sonic brush, electric, floss, then a Waterpik to thoroughly clean out my teeth, each morning and night. My skin is super smooth and glowing and porcelain so it works, even my calluses from work and powerlifting have a nice, uniform quality to them. Have a good day.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 22:20
|
|
|
Is this from American Psycho?^^
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 22:24
|
|
|
Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:I wake up, I do a pre shower body exfoliation, once in the shower I use a coconut oil body wash, when I'm out of the shower yet still somewhat moist I apply some body butter to moisturize and tone. I don't remember the American Psycho monologue being quite like this
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 22:25
|
|
|
so working in mj extraction is a type of work that gives you a smell... the smell of weed. even after showering/washing clothes. its in my car. its in my hair. i just smell like a plant person now. i don't smell it anymore but other people have told me. i've heard it lasts for years afterwards. ideally ill never get pulled over again cause yeah thats a tough conversation any way you slice it. i look white tho so it will probably be fine. also, some women are into it so i guess thats a positive??? an unexpected side effect, no doubt
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 22:27
|
|
|
I shave twice a day. I'm not really hairy or anything, and I can't even really grow a beard. I just get this rough o clock shadow that needs to be knocked down in the morning and at night during my shower. Also, I'm looking into shaving my body because I'm sorta tired of having a 90s era porn bush. I also use lotion twice a day, and sunblock religiously because I have the skin color of a translucent baby bird and I'd probably burst into flames without it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 22:41
|
|
|
wesleywillis posted:I also shower beer, and have shower smoked. Both weed and harmless tobacco. Honestly, it wasn't that complicated. jesus christ it's 11 years old https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiqfGVmBD6U
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 22:44
|
|
|
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM THE SHOWER HANDLE ON. IT'S MODERATELY HOT AND RIGHT THERE I START WASHING MY FACE AND HAIR. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKING WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM THE POUF IN MY BUTTHOLE OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXY'S MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUT LOUD TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE WAYS TO CLEAN MYSELF AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I LIFT.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 22:51
|
|
|
Burt Sexual posted:I use my wife’s razor she leaves in shower to shave my balls. It’s a veinous Shocking news: men's and women's razors are almost exactly the same. The only difference is the shape of the razor cartridge, which is rectangular (men's) vs. oval (women's). The razor companies claim the shape makes a huge difference for facial and body hair, but it's probably so marginal and doesn't actually make a difference on average. The blades themselves are identical between the same brand. Oh, and women's razors come in *~flowery~* feminine colors like pink and bright blue. Men's razors are ultra masculine in colors such as blue and green. Because that matters.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 22:51
|
|
|
I wipe the tip of my dingdong after pissing.Cough Drop The Beat posted:Shocking news: men's and women's razors are almost exactly the same. The only difference is the shape of the razor cartridge, which is rectangular (men's) vs. oval (women's). The razor companies claim the shape makes a huge difference for facial and body hair, but it's probably so marginal and doesn't actually make a difference on average. The blades themselves are identical between the same brand.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 23:03
|
|
|
Shower three times a day shoving a industrial grade green soap bar into my rear end after using it on my body, OP.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 23:11
|
|
|
So I just wanted to let everyone know that I am on a very strict showering schedule. And I know that you guys all have figured out how to avoid getting text messages while showering, but I am new to the iPhone, and text messaging systems. It really frustrates me when I hear an incoming text message right in the middle of a shower. Obviously I hate having to get out dripping wet, dry my hand off enough to check my phone, only to see it was something that could have waited, or something not really important at all? Tonight I was having a nice text conversation with someone (I won’t say who) and it seemed the conversation had wrapped up nicely. I thought 'Perfect, now I am on schedule for my shower' But as soon as I stepped in and was about to turn on the water I received another text from the same person. I just about lost my mind and didn’t even end up having a shower. It turns out the text message only said "How long you going for?” as if to continue the previous conversation. I’m sick and tired of never knowing how long before my shower is gonna be ruined each time I get naked and turn the taps on. I know people don’t do it on purpose but sometimes it feels like maybe they do. HERE IS MY REGULAR SHOWER SCHEDULE. It only varies of course now depending on my Msgs. Mon to Friday 9:04 am - 10:25 am 11:32 am - 12:44 pm 1: 35 pm - 1:38 pm (1:39 to be safe on this one) 2: 03pm - 2:59 pm 4:24 pm - 6:22 pm 8:26 pm - 8: 29 pm 9: 20 - 10: 04 pm 11: 46pm - 1:40 am Weekends are the same except an additional shower at 3:33 pm to 4:01 pm. However on Sundays I skip the 9:04 am shower so that’s a bonus time to text me. I would appreciate it if everyone wrote these times down, before sending me a retarded “what are you up to?” text message. Unless it is an actual family emergency you are only wasting my shower time. And please please don’t call me when I’m showering! I’ve had that happen to me recently and it now has definitely gone way too far.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 23:13
|
|
|
numberoneposter posted:So I just wanted to let everyone know that I am on a very strict showering schedule. And I know that you guys all have figured out how to avoid getting text messages while showering, but I am new to the iPhone, and text messaging systems. It really frustrates me when I hear an incoming text message right in the middle of a shower. Obviously I hate having to get out dripping wet, dry my hand off enough to check my phone, only to see it was something that could have waited, or something not really important at all? Tonight I was having a nice text conversation with someone (I won’t say who) and it seemed the conversation had wrapped up nicely. I thought 'Perfect, now I am on schedule for my shower' But as soon as I stepped in and was about to turn on the water I received another text from the same person. I just about lost my mind and didn’t even end up having a shower. It turns out the text message only said "How long you going for?” as if to continue the previous conversation. I’m sick and tired of never knowing how long before my shower is gonna be ruined each time I get naked and turn the taps on. I know people don’t do it on purpose but sometimes it feels like maybe they do. lmao
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 23:28
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 23:37
|
|
|
I usually try and keep the chinchilla's dust bath separate from my own but sometimes the lil guy is just so cute I can't say no.
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 23:38
|
|
|
Shower - cut down carwash brush, dial soap, cold water Brushing teeth - baking soda daily/daily, peroxide on Sunday Cologne - gin with alcohol boiled out
|
|
#
?
Aug 16, 2019 23:44
|
|
|
I just blow the dust out of my vents every other Monday and call it good.
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 00:01
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 00:03
|
|
|
Wash rear end? What am I, gay or something?
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 00:17
|
|
|
Cough Drop The Beat posted:Shocking news: men's and women's razors are almost exactly the same. The only difference is the shape of the razor cartridge, which is rectangular (men's) vs. oval (women's). The razor companies claim the shape makes a huge difference for facial and body hair, but it's probably so marginal and doesn't actually make a difference on average. The blades themselves are identical between the same brand. I’m sorry you had to attend the special classes in grade school
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 00:27
|
|
|
Burt Sexual posted:I’m sorry you had to attend the special classes in grade school It's okay. You don't have to overcompensate for your parents never loving you as a child.
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 00:28
|
|
|
A good hygiene hack is to be a vampire so you can't see how hideous your hygiene is in the mirror.
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 00:29
|
|
|
Does anyone else shave their rear end valley so it's easier to wipe? I did it last night, and I ended up nicking my rear end in a top hat and I'm afraid the next time I take a poo poo it'll tear and my lower half will unzip like a duffel bag full of wet scarves.
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 04:13
|
|
|
Rad-daddio posted:Does anyone else shave their rear end valley so it's easier to wipe? I did it last night, and I ended up nicking my rear end in a top hat and I'm afraid the next time I take a poo poo it'll tear and my lower half will unzip like a duffel bag full of wet scarves. I work at the morgue and down here we call that the "whole enchilada"
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 04:30
|
|
|
SERPUS posted:Wash rear end? What am I, gay or something? You said gay, that means you hella gay now wait shi-
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 04:37
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 21:29 |
|
|
HugeGrossBurrito posted:I eat an entire stick of deodorant every day Same here and it must work because I've been dead for 25 years and so far no one's noticed
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2019 04:41
|
|