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Sometimes I make them up while I’m sanding at work. Give me a name that’s not too hard to rhyme and a fact about that name and I’ll try my best tomorrow Please also post your favorite limericks dirty or otherwise Here are my two favorites which I did not compose myself: There once was girl named Louise Whose oval office hair hung down to her knees And the crabs in her twat Tied it up in a knot And constructed a flying trapeze I feel like this one really speaks from my soul There once was a guardsman of buckinghame Who said ‘as for girls I hate fuckin em But when I meets boys, Lord how I enjoys Just licking their peckers and sucking em’ |
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Aug 23, 2019 04:21
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An original composition: There once was an old king of Norway Who liked to partake in a four-way With two goats and a cow He’d make quite a row But that was only his foreplay!
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Aug 23, 2019 04:29
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I never actually learned the whole Man from Nantucket.
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Aug 23, 2019 04:59
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tell me about the trapeze crabs, george
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Aug 23, 2019 08:02
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super sweet best pal posted:I never actually learned the whole Man from Nantucket. there once was a man from nantucket who went to heck in a bucket the road dogg, H.B.K. x-pac, triple H d generation x, suck it
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Aug 23, 2019 11:10
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I once knew a girl from Cancun Who made my heart fly over the moon But as far as I could tell Her family was all cartell I'm not getting murdered for poon |
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Aug 23, 2019 17:19
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WetNightmare posted:tell me about the trapeze crabs, george |
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Aug 23, 2019 18:05
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I once knew a dude from Timbuktu Who completely dropped trou' using the loo Much to my dismay rear end totally on display If I had a dick that big I'd do it too |
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Aug 23, 2019 18:47
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no i do not and i will not post in this thread again good day.
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Aug 23, 2019 18:49
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Up on the hill lives an old hag "I'm a powerful witch" she will brag But once a year On a blue moon night clear She turns into a hottie even a gay man would shag |
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Aug 23, 2019 18:51
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there once was a man from capri whose shorts went far past his knee he thought ninja turtles were modern day urkels and posted in b.y.o.b.
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Aug 23, 2019 18:58
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There once was a man from Nantucket Carried his balls around in a bucket They were swollen and thick From all those sick limericks So one day he just shrugged and said "gently caress it". |
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Aug 23, 2019 19:18
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This is about a friend’s unfortunate online dating experience: There once was a fellow named Taylor Whose objective was always to nail her He’d skip all the chat And right off the bat He surely would try to impale her
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Aug 23, 2019 19:22
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op you should get a copy of 'The Limerick' by the humor folklorist and unhinged adherent of Freudian psychoanalysis, Gershon Legman
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Aug 23, 2019 19:27
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there once was a man from seaforth who took us camping up north and after he warned with his ween, unadorned peed in our only water source
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Aug 23, 2019 19:39
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Bonaventure posted:op you should get a copy of 'The Limerick' by the humor folklorist and unhinged adherent of Freudian psychoanalysis, Gershon Legman Thank you for this recommendation! It seems to be unsurprisingly out of print and consequently expensive but here is a digital version for anyone else with repressed infantile Freudian urges etc. https://archive.org/details/Limericks
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Aug 23, 2019 19:54
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:Thank you for this recommendation! It seems to be unsurprisingly out of print and consequently expensive but here is a digital version for anyone else with repressed infantile Freudian urges etc. my dad has a copy of this that i am orchestrating to steal particularly now finding out its not as easy as a click online to get
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Aug 23, 2019 20:06
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bee eater posted:there once was a man from seaforth https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 23, 2019 20:49
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stop this now, this is filth. i will not post in this thread again.
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Aug 24, 2019 00:07
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Heather Papps posted:stop this now, this is filth. i will not post in this thread again. who did it in all kinds of weather in rain or in shine they looked simply divine dressed in a beesuit of leather
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Aug 24, 2019 00:25
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This poster was also called Papp And thought this thread was crap! They thought it such tripe (And it was a fair gripe!) But really we’re friendly old saps
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Aug 24, 2019 00:35
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There was a poster bee eater Who saw such a huge swollen peter! They couldn’t think what to do And then it suddenly blew And now he is called pee eater
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Aug 24, 2019 00:40
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:There was a poster bee eater lmbo There once was a poster named Kaiser A lyrical limerick deviser He'd repeat his rhyme scheme While touching his ween And not stop til he'd bust out a geyser i feel gross typing this, sensei
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Aug 24, 2019 00:47
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My favorite: On the chest of a barmaid in Sale Was tattooed the prices of ale And on her behind For the sake of the blind Was the same information in braille |
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Aug 24, 2019 01:11
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A man with a lisp said "I oneth Made a very dumb wish like a dunth That a girl that I knew would Pour thome blue fluid On a tampon 1/x month" |
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Aug 24, 2019 01:11
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*in a jazz club* There was a kool kat named bee eater Who had a sweet way with the meter He could turn such a phrase Never got no malaise Nobody could rhyme nothin sweeter
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Aug 24, 2019 01:13
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An original I just wrote: There was a young man in SA who one day posted, "I'm gay!" Now, Goons joke and mock, but some do like the cock, unironical-ay. |
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Aug 24, 2019 02:06
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Limericks can be anecdotes Funny enough to get upvotes, But that's almost a fail In comparison that pales To a BYOB empty quote |
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Aug 24, 2019 02:28
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there once was a man from nantucket whose member resembled a bucket this curious man dill sported a handle and echoed whenever you struck it
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Aug 24, 2019 02:38
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BigBadSteve posted:An original I just wrote: thx for this inspiration there's some goons that do like the dick they don't care if its thin or its thick not worried about the size they just really like guys and you wont catch them bangin a chick
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Aug 24, 2019 02:43
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Manifisto posted:there once was a man from nantucket thank you i love this
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Aug 24, 2019 02:44
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there was this goon splatmaster and they started posting-faster and faster! they got completely engrossed their keys burned to toast! they barely avoided disaster
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Aug 24, 2019 02:48
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This poster was called manifisto and they loved to do it al fresco folks would pass by and what did they spy? but a strange manifisto erecto
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Aug 24, 2019 02:55
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:This poster was called manifisto mods please change my title to "manifisto erecto" tia
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Aug 24, 2019 02:58
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There once was a man who was wishin' That he could go genital fishin' Where no one could watch he dove into his crotch Since then the cocksucker's gone missin' I just made that up lol |
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Aug 24, 2019 03:03
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There once was a goon named Sardonic Who weed intake always was Chronic He smoked it a lot And then had a thought Boy I wish there was a good Sonic |
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Aug 24, 2019 03:11
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I once new a man from Kentucky who considered himself quite lucky to have been born with udders, he made his own butter, and claimed that it didn't taste yucky. |
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Aug 24, 2019 03:11
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Kaiser Schnitzel posted:*in a jazz club* oh u 
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Aug 24, 2019 03:21
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Hugh Malone posted:I once new a man from Kentucky
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Aug 24, 2019 03:21
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Splatmaster posted:There once was a man who was wishin' there once was a boy named caruthers who was busily loving his mother "I know it's a sin" he said shoving it in, "But it's better than blowing my brother"
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Aug 24, 2019 03:21
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